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25 (More) Funny Computer Quotes

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I have been reading some of my old posts here and noticed one that is still quite popular simply because a lot of us love humor. If you are a new site visitor, kindly check out "My Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes" post to know what I mean. Inspired by that one and since it’s been a long time that I wrote or posted some funny stuff here, I decided to collect a few more amusing quotes.


So without further delay, here is a brand new collection of funny computer quotes:
 

25. What if one day Google got deleted and we could not Google what happened to Google?

24. Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.

23. The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord

22. Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.‘ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.

21. Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.

20. "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso

19. If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high-speed Internet.

18. The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

17. “The Internet?  We are not interested in it.” - Bill Gates, 1993

16. The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards.

15. "Being able to break security doesn’t make you a hacker any more than being able to hotwire cars makes you an automotive engineer." - Eric S. Raymond

14.  I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

13. "I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended side effect." - Linus Torvalds

12. Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.

11. My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!

10. Computer dating is fine if you're a computer.

9. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!

8. The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.

7. The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.

6. Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

5. My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

4. I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

3. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."

2. Life is too short to remove USB safely.

1. Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers.


I hope you enjoyed our latest list of amusing computer quotes!

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How to Install Raspbian OS on Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+

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After my Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ First Impressions, allow me to share with you how I installed Raspbian OS on this tiny computer as promised. But first a quick introduction about Raspbian. This lightweight Unix-like operating system is based on Debian Linux and is highly optimized to run on Raspberry Pi’s ARM CPU. Its desktop environment is called PIXEL (Pi Improved X-Window Environment, Lightweight), which is made up of a modified LXDE desktop environment and the Openbox stacking window manager. It comes pre-loaded with useful applications such as web browser, office suite, programming tools, and several games among others.


Now, let’s get down to business and give you some of the requirements needed to install Raspbian OS. If your Raspberry Pi is not bundled with a microSD card you should get one with at least 8GB of space. Some of the basic PC accessories required for setup are USB keyboard, USB mouse, and a computer or TV monitor (preferably with HDMI port). The Raspberry Pi Model B+ has an HDMI port  for video output. So if your monitor has DVI or VGA port, you should have an HDMI-to-DVI or HDMI-to-VGA cable. You will also need an extra desktop or laptop computer for downloading the OS and then flashing it to the microSD card.


The next thing that you should prepare is the installer. You can download it from HERE. It is recommended to Download the NOOBS version, but if you are adventurous enough you can go for the full Raspbian version of the installer. The file that you will download is compressed in ZIP format so you will need to extract the OS image (.img) to use it. After extracting, you may now proceed to flash the OS image to your SD card. To do that, you will need to download the recommended tool for the job HERE. Install it, and then follow the simple step by step process of flashing the OS image to your microSD card. It is also worth noting that you will need an SD card adapter and an SD card reader if your laptop or PC don’t have one built-in.

Finally, the Raspbian OS is now installed, and all you have to do is eject the microSD card from your computer and plug it in your Raspberry Pi. Connect all the needed Raspberry Pi peripherals and power up your tiny but very capable Linux desktop machine.

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Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ First Impressions

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I have always been curious about the tiny computer called Raspberry Pi but I didn’t have the time or opportunity to buy one until now. I got the latest version (Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+) along with bundled accessories from AliExpress for $65. I think it was a good deal considering what I got which I will explain to you later on. But before that and for your convenience, here are some quick facts about Raspberry Pi that I got from Wikipedia:

Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+

* The Raspberry Pi is a series of small single-board computers developed in the United Kingdom by the Raspberry Pi Foundation

* It aims to promote teaching of basic computer science in schools and in developing countries.

* The original model became far more popular than anticipated, selling outside its target market for uses such as robotics.

* According to the Raspberry Pi Foundation, more than 5 million Raspberry Pis were sold by February 2015, making it the best-selling British computer.

* In March 2018, sales reached 19 million.

* On the CPU level, the first generation Raspberry Pi is similar to a 300 MHz Pentium II of 1997–99. While its graphical capabilities are roughly equivalent to the performance of the Xbox of 2001.

* More info about Raspberry Pi including tech specs can be found HERE


First Impressions

I have only seen a Raspberry Pi in photos before so I was quite in awe of its size when I finally opened the box. It measures just 85.60mm by 56.5mm or around 3 by 2 inches.

Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ beside my iPhone 6 and glasses for size comparison

As I said, I got the Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ rather cheap since it is bundled with a case, power cord, 32GB micro SD card + adapter, HDMI cable, heatsink, USB cable, and 3.5 inch touchscreen display. It is loaded with a 1.4 GHz 64-bit quad-core ARM Cortex-A53 processor, 1 GB RAM, gigabit Ethernet, on-board dual-band Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 4.2, Power over Ethernet (PoE) feature, and USB and network boot capabilities.

Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ running Raspbian OS

The first thing that I did after unboxing the package was placed the Raspberry Pi inside the included plastic case. The plastic case needs to be assembled and it didn’t come with instructions so I had to figure it out myself. Next, I searched on Google on how to install an OS into my Raspberry Pi. So, I downloaded Raspbian, a Debian-based OS highly optimized for the Raspberry Pi and installed it. On my next post I will be sharing with you more about Raspbian and will guide you on how to install it and give you tips on some of the things that I did after installation.

Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+ setup alongside my iPad Pro

As you can see from the photos above, I now have a full-pledged desktop powered by a tiny computer. I connected my Raspberry Pi to my 13-inch HD display and it runs smoothly without lag or graphics issues. I also connected a wireless mini keyboard with built-in touchpad and an external hard drive to complete the setup. As of now, I am using my Raspberry Pi as file and VNC server (set up my iPad Pro as VNC viewer). I also intend to use it for testing Linux distros and for doing a bit of Python programming.

As I’ve said, my next post will be all about installing and setting up Raspbian on Raspberry Pi so watch out.   

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Dark Mode on Apple’s macOS? Linux did it First

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Last year, Apple introduced the highly anticipated “dark mode” feature on their macOS (Mojave) desktop operating system. Many Apple fans regarded it as a cool and useful enhancement to their desktop user interface. It allowed users to turn on the system-wide dark color scheme and encouraged third-party app developers to offer a dark mode for their Mac apps. If you are thinking that Apple is the first to use this feature on the desktop, think again.  

As far as I can remember, Linux is the first desktop OS that lets users easily customize the UI and provided plenty of dark theme options. I think Ubuntu started the trend in using darker themes out of the box several years ago, and they did it in a more elegant way when compared to other Linux distros. Elegant in a way that the dark scheme UI was consistently used and built-in apps were using dark themes. 

Apple macOS

When customizing my Linux desktop, I always prefer dark themes since it is easy on the eyes and it looks good. Dark background also allowed me to focus more on the job at hand because there is less visual distraction. Using dark mode on my Mac desktop right now, I can’t help but think about the endless customizations I did before on my favorite Linux distros to achieve that perfect dark look.

Ubuntu Linux

So to all the Mac users out there who also enjoyed using the dark mode on their desktop, perhaps you can thank Linux for showing the guys at Cupertino that dark mode UI is not just cool but also usable. However, correct me if I’m wrong through the comments below if you think that Linux did not have any influence whatsoever in this new macOS feature.  

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The Essential Smartwatch: From Motorola MOTOACTV to Apple Watch

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Although I am not a watch enthusiast, I have a soft spot for smartwatches. They have tons of features that ordinary wristwatches don’t have and as a techie, I think they look way cooler than your average watch. Since 2011, I realized I have not been using my conventional wristwatches that they are already gathering dust in my closet. The reason? I bought my first smartwatch that year - the Motorola MOTOACTV.


For $300, I got a brand new Motorola MOTOACTV and wearing it felt like having the most awesome watch in the world. At that time, smartwatches are not yet popular but I enjoyed using it because it has features that I thought was ahead of its time. Powered by Android, it features built-in fitness apps, accelerometer, Bluetooth, music player, FM tuner, capacitive multitouch LCD display, ANT+ for connectivity to fitness sensors (eg. heart rate sensor) and has the capability to connect to smartphones to display calls and text messages. 

Motorola MOTOACTV

Although I love the MOTOACTV, it was far from perfect. In terms of design, it looks bulky and there was really no room for customization. As for the software, it was stable at first but was later on plagued with buggy updates. It was also not as durable as I thought it would be since it was made by Motorola. It took just one waist-high drop that shattered the LCD display of my MOTOACTV, and so I was quickly in search for my next smartwatch. 

For around $100, I got the very first version of Pebble. Considered at that time as the most funded project in Kickstarter history, I never regret purchasing that smartwatch. The original Pebble had some of the features that I want such as Android and iOS app support, notifications (calls, texts, emails), water resistance, “always on” display, 7-day battery life, and array of sensors (magnetometer, accelerometer, ambient light). One of the best things about the Pebble was its app store that contains tons of free downloadable applications and watch faces. In terms of design, the Pebble looks plain and simple but you can customize it by replacing the 22mm wrist strap or using some skins to cover the bezel.

Pebble

The Pebble was definitely better than the MOTOACTV but it also had some crucial issues. I’ve been using it for around 3 years and had experienced several buggy software updates that became really annoying. The most recurring issue I’ve encountered was constantly losing connection to my phone hence the notifications feature was a hit or miss. In addition, the first version of Pebble had no built-in GPS and heart sensor, which for me was a major caveat since I’m a fitness buff. Lastly, although it can control the music from a connected smartphone, it didn’t have a stand-alone music player like the MOTOACTV.   

Using it on a daily basis, my Pebble looks good as new even until today so there is no question about its durability. I just got tired of the look and its limitations so I decided to hunt for my next smartwatch.

In September 2016, Apple released the Series 2 version of their smartwatch. Aimed at enhancing the iPhone experience, I considered the Apple Watch way better than the MOTOACTV and two steps ahead of the original Pebble.  For around $400, I bought the Series 2 (aluminum, space grey, Nike+) in January 2017 and I’ve been using it almost every single day since then. 

Apple Watch Series 2 (Nike+)

The first thing I liked about the Apple Watch is its sleek and highly customizable design. I bought a few cases for protection and plenty of bands (wrist straps) for styling and comfort. After constant usage, I begin to appreciate the Apple Watch for its stable hardware and software integration. Connecting to my iPhone is a breeze and it runs flawlessly that I didn’t have to worry about not receiving important notifications. I think this is the main reason why I’m still using this smartwatch.

Here is a list of features that I love about the Apple Watch (Series 2):

* Awesome display (OLED Retina display with Force Touch)
* Customizable watch faces
* Built-in sensors (optical heart, accelerometer, gyroscope, ambient light)
* Built-in GPS
* Water resistant up to 50 meters
* Built-in fitness and wellness apps
* Activity tracker (motivates me to exercise or stay active)
* Supports third-party apps
* Bluetooth and Wi-Fi connectivity
* Built-in music player
* Easily removable bands and plenty of cheap bands available
* Simple but good-looking design
* Durable screen and body

Some of the features that I wish Apple Watch should have:

* Longer battery life
* Always on display
* Third-party watch faces

Although the Apple Watch Series 4 has been released in 2018, I didn’t find it necessary to upgrade as my Series 2 still serves its purpose well, and looking at the features of the latest Apple Watch, it didn’t tick any of the wish list I wrote above.  

My Apple Watch is my constant and reliable companion. I regularly use the Breathe app when meditating, the built-in fitness app when swimming, running, cycling, weight lifting, or doing yoga, and the stand-alone music app when playing music on my AirPods. I also heavily rely on its notifications feature for calls and SMS. The Apple Watch can do all those things while looking sleek and of course showing me what time it is.

These days, there are still a lot of people who are using traditional watches compared to those who are using smartwatches. I think this is mainly because ordinary watches are more convenient to use for non-techies, as they are easy to set up and don’t have to be charged all the time. As for me, I will probably stick to wearing smartwatches until my heart rate per minute goes zero.

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Top 50 Programming Quotes of All Time

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I hope you have enjoyed our collection of funny computer quotes, Linux quotes, and all those quotes that we have shared with you so far. For today, I've decided to gather a good number of my all-time favorite programming-related quotes.


Most of the programming quotes I've collected are made by some of the famous names in the industry, while others came from not-so-famous people. Nevertheless, they are all witty so I hope you will find them fascinating and enlightening.

Without further delay, here are my top 50 programming quotes of all time:


50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
- Rick Cook

49. "Lisp isn't a language, it's a building material."
- Alan Kay.

48. "Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen."
- Edward V Berard

47. "They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore."
- Olav Mjelde.

46. "A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant."
- Alan J. Perlis.

45. "A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors."
- Waldi Ravens.

44. "I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone."
- Bjarne Stroustrup

43. “Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.”
- Eric S. Raymond

42. “Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.”
- Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

41. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.”
- Oktal

40. “Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN’T be like.”
- pixadel

39. “Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline.”
- Bill Clinton

38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense."
- E.W. Dijkstra

37. "In the one and only true way. The object-oriented version of 'Spaghetti code' is, of course, 'Lasagna code'. (Too many layers)."
- Roberto Waltman.

36. "FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed — it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer."
- Alan J. Perlis.

35. “For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.”
- Bill Bryson

34. "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt."
- Blair P. Houghton.

33. "When someone says: 'I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done', give him a lollipop."
- Alan J. Perlis

32. "The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language."
- Ron Sercely

31. "Good design adds value faster than it adds cost."
- Thomas C. Gale

30. "Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck."
- Cory Dodt

29. "Talk is cheap. Show me the code."
- Linus Torvalds

28. "Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

27. "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success."
- Dennis M. Ritchie.

26. "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not."
- Yoggi Berra

25. “You can’t have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families.”
- Jim McCarthy

24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals."
- Jon Ribbens

23. "Programming is like kicking yourself in the face, sooner or later your nose will bleed."
- Kyle Woodbury

22. "Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption."
- Keith Bostic

21. "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script."
- Larry Wall

20. "I invented the term 'Object-Oriented', and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind."
- Alan Kay

19. "Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software than learning to touch type has to do with writing poetry"
- Ted Nelson

18. “The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability.”
- Randall E. Stross

17. “If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more.’ “
- Mark Minasi

16. "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it."
- Donald E. Knuth.

15. "Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success."
- Tom DeMarco

14. "I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!"
- Vidiu Platon.

13. "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code."
- Christopher Thompson

12. "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight."
- Bill Gates

11. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
- Brian W. Kernighan.

10. "People think that computer science is the art of geniuses but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones."
- Donald Knuth

9. “First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.”
- George Carrette

8. “Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.”
- Larry Wall

7. “Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.”
- Alan Kay

6. “The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.”
- Seymour Cray

5. “To iterate is human, to recurse divine.”
- L. Peter Deutsch

4. "On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
- Charles Babbage

3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program."
- Linus Torvalds

2. "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
- Martin Golding

1. “There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.”
- C.A.R. Hoare


If you have other interesting programming quotes to add, you may share them with us via comment.

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5 of the Best Free and Open Source Data Mining Software

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The process of extracting patterns from data is called data mining. It is recognized as an essential tool by modern business since it is able to convert data into business intelligence thus giving an informational edge. At present, it is widely used in profiling practices, like surveillance, marketing, scientific discovery, and fraud detection.


There are four kinds of tasks that are normally involve in Data mining:

* Classification - the task of generalizing familiar structure to employ to new data
* Clustering - the task of finding groups and structures in the data that are in some way or another the same, without using noted structures in the data.
* Association rule learning - Looks for relationships between variables.
* Regression - Aims to find a function that models the data with the slightest error.

For those of you who are looking for some data mining tools, here are five of the best open-source data mining software that you could get for free:


Orange
Orange is a component-based data mining and machine learning software suite that features friendly yet powerful, fast and versatile visual programming front-end for explorative data analysis and visualization, and Python bindings and libraries for scripting. It contains complete set of components for data preprocessing, feature scoring and filtering, modeling, model evaluation, and exploration techniques. It is written in C++ and Python, and its graphical user interface is based on cross-platform Qt framework.


RapidMiner
RapidMiner, formerly called YALE (Yet Another Learning Environment), is an environment for machine learning and data mining experiments that is utilized for both research and real-world data mining tasks. It enables experiments to be made up of a huge number of arbitrarily nestable operators, which are detailed in XML files and are made with the graphical user interface of RapidMiner. RapidMiner provides more than 500 operators for all main machine learning procedures, and it also combines learning schemes and attribute evaluators of the Weka learning environment. It is available as a stand-alone tool for data analysis and as a data-mining engine that can be integrated into your own products.


Weka
Written in Java, Weka (Waikato Environment for Knowledge Analysis) is a well-known suite of machine learning software that supports several typical data mining tasks, particularly data preprocessing, clustering, classification, regression, visualization, and feature selection. Its techniques are based on the hypothesis that the data is available as a single flat file or relation, where each data point is labeled by a fixed number of attributes. Weka provides access to SQL databases utilizing Java Database Connectivity and can process the result returned by a database query. Its main user interface is the Explorer, but the same functionality can be accessed from the command line or through the component-based Knowledge Flow interface.


JHepWork
Designed for scientists, engineers and students, jHepWork is a free and open-source data-analysis framework that is created as an attempt to make a data-analysis environment using open-source packages with a comprehensible user interface and to create a tool competitive to commercial programs. It is specially made for interactive scientific plots in 2D and 3D and contains numerical scientific libraries implemented in Java for mathematical functions, random numbers, and other data mining algorithms. jHepWork is based on a high-level programming language Jython, but Java coding can also be used to call jHepWork numerical and graphical libraries.


KNIME
KNIME (Konstanz Information Miner) is a user friendly, intelligible, and comprehensive open-source data integration, processing, analysis, and exploration platform. It gives users the ability to visually create data flows or pipelines, selectively execute some or all analysis steps, and later study the results, models, and interactive views. KNIME is written in Java, and it is based on Eclipse and makes use of its extension method to support plugins thus providing additional functionality. Through plugins, users can add modules for text, image, and time series processing and the integration of various other open source projects, such as R programming language, Weka, the Chemistry Development Kit, and LibSVM.


If you know of other free and open-source data mining software, please share them with us via comment.

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Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes

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If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50 Linux quotes of all time, I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny bone.

 

Now get ready and enjoy this compilation of my top 50 funny computer quotes:


50. "Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."

49. "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

48. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

47. "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."

46. "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."

45. "To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."

44. "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

43. "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

42. "If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise."

41. "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

40. "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?"

39. "I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall Shield'."

38. "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now."

37. "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!"

36. "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

35. "Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body."

34. "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush."

33. "The more I C, the less I see."

32. "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

31. "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

30. "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."

29. "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..."

28. "Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !"

27. "rm -rf /bin/laden"

26. "I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman !"

25. "The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

24. "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."

23. “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”

22. "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."

21. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

20. "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"

19. The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !"

18. "If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one."

17. "Better to be a geek than an idiot."

16. "I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me a 'laptop dance'."

15. "After Perl everything else is just assembly language."

14. "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

13. "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

12. "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

11. "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."

10. "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

9. "Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it.
User: What's your computer doing on mine?"

8. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.”

7. “If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.”

6. "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

5. “Any fool can use a computer. Many do.”

4. “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”

3. "Those who can't write programs, write help files."

2. "You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary."

1. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.”


If you have some favorite funny computer quotes that were not included on my list above, just add or share them with us via comment.


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7 Best Free/Open-source Backup Software for Linux

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Backup Software for Linux: A computer application utilized to perform a complete backup by duplicating the original source of data is called backup software. Obviously, the main purpose of backup software is to create order out of chaos by recovering essential files in the event of a disaster. Some of the popular backup programs are sql, remote, and offsite backup software.

If you are using Linux, there are plenty of backup software to choose from. I have here a list of some of the best free and open source backup software that you may want to check out.


Time Vault

Time Vault is a GNOME-based Linux-equivalent to Time Machine from Apple. Like many backup utilities, it creates incremental backups of files that can be restored at a later date. Its snapshots are copies of a directory at a certain point in time. Snapshots use very little space for the files that haven't changed since the last snapshot was made. This is because instead of backing up the entire unchanged file, snapshots use hard links that point to the existing backup of the unchanged file.



Clonezilla
Clonezilla is an open source clone of Symantec Ghost Corporate Edition. It is based on DRBL, Partition Image, ntfsclone, partclone, and udpcast that will allow you to do bare metal backup and recovery. Two types of Clonezilla are available, Clonezilla live and Clonezilla SE (server edition). Clonezilla live is suitable for single machine backup and restore. While Clonezilla SE is for massive deployment, it can clone many computers simultaneously.



Duplicity
Duplicity backs directories by producing encrypted tar-format volumes and uploading them to a remote or local file server. Because duplicity uses librsync, the incremental archives are space efficient and only record the parts of files that have changed since the last backup. Because duplicity uses GnuPG to encrypt and/or sign these archives, they will be safe from spying and/or modification by the server.



Bacula

Bacula is an open source, enterprise level computer backup system for heterogeneous networks. It is designed to automate tasks that had often required intervention from a systems administrator or computer operator. Bacula supports Linux, UNIX and Windows backup clients, and a range of professional backup devices including tape libraries. Administrators and operators can configure the system via a command line console, GUI or web interface; its back-end is a catalog of information stored by MySQL, PostgreSQL, or SQLite.



AMANDA

AMANDA (Advanced Maryland Automatic Network Disk Archiver) is a backup system that allows the administrator to set up a single master backup server to back up multiple hosts over network to tape drives/changers or disks or optical media. Amanda uses native dump and/or GNU tar facilities and can back up a large number of workstations running multiple versions of Unix.



rsync
rsync is an open source utility that synchronizes files and directories from one location to another while minimizing data transfer using delta encoding when appropriate. An important feature of rsync not found in most similar programs/protocols is that the mirroring takes place with only one transmission in each direction. rsync can copy or display directory contents and copy files, optionally using compression and recursion.



FlyBack

FlyBack is based on rsync and modeled loosely after Apple's Time Machine. Like many rsync-based backup utilities, it creates incremental backups of files which can be restored at a later date. FlyBack presents a chronological view of a file system, allowing individual files or directories to be previewed or retrieved one at a time. FlyBack presents the user with a typical file manager style view of their file system, but with additional controls allowing the user to go forward or backward in time.



You may also check out our comprehensive list of some of the best online backup services for Linux.

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