UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

Psychosexual Stages Love Languages

Love, Lust, and Attachment

Psychosexual Stages Love Languages Love, Lust, and Attachment

PERDEV 100 2T23-24 | TRABAJO M.R.K

PERDEV 100 2T23-24 | TRABAJO M.R.K

UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

Psychosexual
Sigmund FreudStages of Development

Psychosexual Stages of Development

Sigmund Freud
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PSYCHOSEXUAL STAGES Topic Images

Freud proposed that personality development in childhood takes place during five
psychosexual stages.

During each stage, energy or libido is expressed in different ways and through different
parts of the body. Each stage represents the fixation of libido on a different area of the
body. As a person grows physically, certain areas of their body become important as
sources of potential frustration called erogenous zones.
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Each stage of development is marked

by conflicts that can help build growth
or stifle development, depending upon
how they are resolved. If these
psychosexual stages are completed
successfully, a healthy personality is the
result.

If certain issues are not resolved at the

appropriate stage, fixations can occur.

A fixation is a persistent focus on an

earlier psychosexual stage.

Until this conflict is resolved, the

individual will remain "stuck" in this stage.
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Oral Stage (Birth to 1 Year)

Erogenous Zone: Mouth

• In the Oral Stage, our main pleasure comes from our

mouth.

• The mouth is vital for eating, and the infant derives

pleasure from oral stimulation activities like tasting and
sucking.

• The primary conflict at this stage is the weaning process -

the child must become less dependent upon caretakers.

• If fixation occurs at this stage, Freud believed the

individual would have issues with dependency or
aggression.

• Oral fixation can result in problems with drinking, eating,

smoking, or nail-biting.
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Oral Stage (Birth to 1 Year)

Erogenous Zone: Mouth
Child #1 is weaned off his mother’s
breast without trauma. He becomes a
healthy and independent adult.

Child #2’s mother stops feeding him

within 4 months of birth, which is too
early. This causes him to suffer from
trauma and develops an oral fixation.
He tries to compensate for it by
chewing gum all the time.

Child #3 is often left alone crying when

she is hungry. This child will spend her
entire life looking for the oral stimulation
she was denied as an infant and
therefore develops a manipulative and
addictive personality.
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Anal Stage (1-3 Years)

Erogenous Zone: Bowel and Bladder Control

• The primary focus of the libido is on controlling bladder and

bowel movements. The major conflict at this stage is toilet
training—the child must learn to control their bodily needs.

• Success at this stage depends on the way parents approach

toilet training. Parents who use praise and rewards for using
the toilet appropriately encourage positive outcomes and
help children feel capable and productive.

• Inappropriate parental responses can result in negative

outcomes. If parents are too lenient, an anal-expulsive
personality could develop in which the individual has a
messy, wasteful, or destructive personality.

• If parents are too strict or begin toilet training too early,

an anal-retentive personality develops in which the individual
is stringent, orderly, rigid, and obsessive.
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Anal Stage (1-3 Years)

Erogenous Zone: Bowel and Bladder Control
Child #1’s parents praise his attempts to use
the toilet and encourage him to learn at his
own pace. He develops a competent
personality and a good and balanced
relationship with authority.

Child #2’s parents force potty training on him

too early and punish him for mistakes. He
develops an anal-retentive personality: he
becomes an over-controlling and stingy
adult, with disgust for his own body and a
tendency to obey authority.

Child #3’s parents neglect any efforts at

potty training entirely. She develops an anal-
expulsive personality: messy, disorganized,
inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, and
rebellious against authority.
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Phallic Stage (3-6 Years)

Erogenous Zone: Genitals

• The primary focus of the libido is on the genitals.

• At this age, children also begin to discover the

differences between males and females.

• Boys begin to view their fathers as a rival for the

mother’s affections. The Oedipus Complex describes
these feelings of wanting to possess the mother
because of the fear that the father might take them
away. The term Electra Complex has been used to
describe a similar set of feelings experienced by young
girls.

• This is resolved through the process of identification, the

child must adopt the characteristics of the same sex
parent, and realize that the parent in question is not a
threat to them.
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Phallic Stage (3-6 Years)

Erogenous Zone: Genitals
Child #1 and Child #2 desire to possess their mother and
fantasize about getting rid of their father. But they know
that their father is stronger and fear being punished for
their desire. Freud called this the castration anxiety.

Child #1’s father was present during this stage so he

resolves this conflict by identifying strongly with his father.
He learns to take on a male role. As an adult, he
respects both genders.

Child #2’s father was absent. He fails to develop a

strong sense of manhood. He is fixated on his mother
and is not sure about his sexuality. He also tends to be
aggressive towards women and constantly needs to
compete with other men.

Child #3 experiences penis envy. She believes that a

penis is the key to power and domination and also
wants one. She brings this for the rest of her life and
causes an inferiority complex towards men.
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Latency Stage (6 to Puberty)

Erogenous Zone: Libido is Inactive

• During this stage the libido is dormant.

• Most impulses are repressed during the latent stage, and

excess energy can be sublimated towards schoolwork,
hobbies, and friendships.

• Much of the child's energy is channeled into developing

new skills and acquiring new knowledge, and play
becomes largely confined to other children of the same
gender.

• The latent period is a time of exploration. This stage is

important in the development of social and
communication skills and self-confidence. Fixation at this
stage can result in immaturity and an inability to form
fulfilling relationships as an adult.
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Latency Stage (6 to Puberty)

Erogenous Zone: Libido is Inactive

As our superego develops, the Latency

Stage strengthens this leading us to strongly
identify with social values, same-sex heroes,
and friends.

Child #1 follows many hobbies. Child #2

loves learning at school and Child #3
makes lots of new girlfriends.

There is no real conflict in this phase. All

three of them benefit for the rest of their
lives from the skills they developed during
latency.
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Genital Stage (Puberty to Adulthood)

Erogenous Zone: Maturing Sexual Interests

• This stage begins during puberty but last throughout the

rest of a person's life. In this stage, we develop a strong
interest to other people.

• Interest in the welfare of others also grows during this

stage. The goal of this stage is to establish a balance
between the various life areas.

• Instinct is directed towards intimacy with another.

• If the other stages have been completed successfully, the

individual should now be well-balanced, warm, and
caring. The individual is now able to balance their most
basic urges against the need to conform to the demands
of reality and social norms.
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Genital Stage (Puberty to Adulthood)

Erogenous Zone: Maturing Sexual Interests All 3 children, now adults, face the challenge of
balancing the sexual desires of the id and the needs
of the “superego”’ to obey social norms. The
development of a strong “ego” helps to find a
compromise between the two.

Adult #1, who has experienced a childhood without

much trauma, succeeds in building a strong ego.
He is disciplined at work, has a loving relationship,
and a fulfilled sex life.

Adult #2’s ego is weaker than his superego. He

obeys norms and authorities and as a result
suppresses his desires which leads to the
development of perversions.

Adult #3 has a weak ego and a weak superego.

Her sexual needs are more important than social
norms or other people’s feelings. She is egoistic and
feels no guilt for breaking the law or hurting others.
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Is Freudian psychology supported by evidence?

Freud's theory is good at explaining but not at

predicting behavior, one of the prime of the goals of
science.

For this reason, Freud's theory is unfalsifiable - it can

neither be proved true or refuted. For example, the
libido is difficult to test and measure objectively.
Overall, Freud's theory is highly unscientific.

Freud may also have shown research bias in his

interpretations. He may have only paid attention to
information which supported his theories and ignored
information and other explanations that did not fit
them.
THE SEXUAL SELF

Love, Lust, and Attachment

Love, Lust, and Attachment

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Have you ever been in love?

What happens to a person when they are in love?

What is our body’s response when we see someone

we love?
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All these crazy, haywire feelings

and physical reactions are
because of our brain and the
chemicals it releases as a result
of attraction and desire.

The biology behind love can be

categorized into three:
1. Lust
2. Attraction
3. Attachment
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LUST
• It is the first stage of romantic love and is
described as feeling physically attracted and
drawn to the object of your affections.

• Lust is triggered by our hypothalamus, our

body’s smart control coordinating center. Its
main function is to keep our body in a stable
state called homeostasis.

• In love, it gathers the various stimuli felt by the

body (smells, touches, sounds) and creates
the body's physical response to the emotions
associated with those stimuli.
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LUST
• In reaction to the stimuli, the hypothalamus
stimulates the production of the hormones
estrogen and testosterone. These hormones
drive us to seek the object of our desire.

• At the same time, the hypothalamus releases

oxytocin, the love hormone, making us feel
excited in the presence of the person we like.
This increases with a hug, or other skin-to-skin
contact.

• This triggers the release of dopamine, leading

to the next stage of love which is attraction.
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ATTRACTION
• The release of dopamine by the
hypothalamus triggers the ‘reward’
pathways in our brain which influence
behavior and memory, starting from the
ventral tegmental area (VTA). The reward
circuit is stimulated by pleasure-inducing
behaviors.

• This is why when we spend time with

someone we are attracted to, we are
filled with a sense of ecstasy, or that we
are “falling in love,” the natural
equivalent of being high from taking an
illicit drug.
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ATTRACTION
• Dopamine, or the ‘feel-good hormone’ is also
involved in focus and attention, making a
person hyper-focused to someone they love.

• The initial feeling of love is translated by the

body as under duress or stress, triggering the
increase of cortisol. This leads the adrenal gland
to release norepinephrine or also known as
noradrenaline.

• The combination of dopamine and

norepinephrine allows us to feel energetic,
euphoric, and giddy: hearts race, palms sweat,
cheeks flush and we are overwhelmed with
emotions of anxiety and passion.
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ATTRACTION
• When cortisol levels rise, serotonin
levels start to drop. It is believed that
low levels of serotonin drive the
overpowering feeling of infatuation
that is common during the initial
stages of falling in love.

• This contributes to the maddeningly

intrusive and preoccupying thoughts,
terrors and hopes that are linked to
early love, which resemble the
symptoms of obsessive-compulsive
behaviors.
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ATTRACTION
• Both lust and attraction have been
known to blur the functioning of the
prefrontal cortex of our brains due to
the increase of hormones that drive
sexual desire and reward, often
referred as the romantically euphoric
stage.

• This leads to irrational behavior,

which in this case, is not necessarily a
total eclipse of the heart, but rather, a
total eclipse of the brain.
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ATTACHMENT
• The final stage of falling in love and the
predominant factor in defining the success
of long-term relationships, attachment refers
to a more meaningful bond developing
between two people.

• The dominating hormone during this stage is

oxytocin, commonly referred as the ‘cuddle
hormone’ or the ‘love hormone.’ OT forges
bonds that represent the depth of love and
attachment to a partner as it heightens the
feelings of calmness, security and
contentment.
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ATTACHMENT
• Another hormone dominant in attachment
is called vasopressin. It plays a role in
interactions and encourages ‘pair-
bonding.’ This hormone affect trust,
empathy, and social bonding
encouraging us to want to stay with that
person as a result.

• These two hormones provide us with an

explanation as to why euphoric love will
begin to fade as attachment and long-
term love grow.
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ATTACHMENT
• Another hormone dominant in attachment
is called vasopressin. It plays a role in
interactions and encourages ‘pair-
bonding,’ encouraging us to want to stay
with that person as a result.

• These two hormones provide us with an

explanation as to why euphoric love will
begin to fade as attachment and long-
term love grow.
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LOVE HURTS
Hormones are released, making us
feel good, rewarded, and close to
our romantic partners… this all
paints a rosy picture of love.
However, love is often
accompanied by jealousy, erratic
behavior, and irrationality, and
other less-than-positive emotions.
This is all caused by the same set of
hormones.
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LOVE HURTS
• DOPAMINE is released whether for our
TAKING
virtues or our vices. The same regions of COCAINE
the brain that light up when we feel
attraction also light up when a drug addict EATING SWEETS
takes cocaine, or when we binge eat FALLING IN LOVE
sweets.

• In a way, attraction is much like an

addiction to another human being.
Becoming addicted to material goods is
similar to being emotionally dependent on
our partners.
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LOVE HURTS
• OXYTOCIN is the hormone responsible for
making us feel good. It helps reinforce the
positive feelings we already feel towards
the people we love.

• However, OT also plays a role in needy,

clingy behaviors, and jealousy. High levels
of it triggers detrimental emotional
oversensitivity.

• Though there is some sort of ‘formula’ for

love, or that maybe we can have
chemistry with anyone, the rest of it is still
up to you.
THE SEXUAL SELF

Love Languages

Love Languages
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In his book The Five Love

Languages (1995), Dr. Gary
Chapman dissects the principles
behind communicating love,
which remains relevant and
useful in many different types of
relationships, from family and
friends to romantic partners.

He emphasized that a person’s

primary and secondary love
languages reflect both how they
give love and how they receive
it.
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Gift Giving (Receiving Gifts)

• Individuals who identify with this form of

communication tend to express and feel love
through the giving of gifts.

• The entire act of gift giving – from the thought, the

careful choosing of a tangible item to represent the
relationship, and finally to the actual giving itself –
elicits the feeling of affection toward another
person.

• In this love language, you do not necessarily

expect large or expensive presents. What counts is
the effort and thoughtfulness put behind the gift,
treasuring not only the gift itself but also the time
and effort the gift-giver put into it.
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Quality Time
• Someone with this love language feels loved if
their significant other is present and focused on
them when they are together.

• This might mean putting down the cell phone,

turning off the computer, making eye contact,
and actively listening.

• If your partner's primary love language is quality

time, you need to not only set aside time for your
partner, but also be intentional about how you are
spending that time. When it comes to quality time,
it's not about the amount of time you spend
together but instead the quality of your
interactions that count.
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Physical Touch

• A person with physical touch as their primary love

language feels love through physical affection – a
hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handhold, even a pat
on the back can be an expression of love.

• Notice when you argue or disagree with your

partner, you often move physically away from
them. It’s not always easy to break the tension
following an argument, but often the best way to
reconnect is to close that physical distance and
touch your partner.

• Physical Touch include: cuddling, sitting side-by-

side, rubbing each other’s backs, tickling, etc.
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Words of Affirmation
• It entails verbal communication that is
encouraging, affirmative, active, and
appreciative, whether spoken or written
messages.

• As human beings, we want to feel valued and

appreciated. Positive words have the power to
create solid foundations needed to build strong,
productive relationships that create clear lines of
communications.

• If words of affirmation is someone’s primary love

language they would enjoy expressing affection
through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.
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Acts of Service

• Many times, acts of service can be a difficult

love language to implement because it
requires so much time, and often,
preparation. When you give acts of service,
you give up your time. This non-verbal form
of love can be time-consuming and
exhausting, but if it’s what the other person
needs, then it's worth the effort.

• Acts of service are nice things you do for

someone that make them feel loved and
appreciated, such as: helping with the
dishes, running errands, helping with
schoolwork, or accompanying them home.
STRESS
STRESS
Stress is an internal alarm system that serves
as the body’s response to real or perceived
threat.

This alarm system is a combination of a

(1) stressor and a
(2) stress response

It is the body’s and mind’s reaction to

everyday demands and threats, and can
both be useful (eustress) or harmful (distress).
THE SEXUAL SELF

Psychosexual Stages Love Languages

Love, Lust, and Attachment

Psychosexual Stages Love Languages Love, Lust, and Attachment