THE EASY-TO-READ ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THE SPIRITUAL PATH

Volume XIII

Ascension and Romantic Relationships

Joshua David Stone, PhD
Rev. Janna Shelley Parker
Copyright © 2000 by Joshua David Stone, PhD
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About the Book
Inspired by Djwhal Khul, Dr. Joshua David Stone has written a unique book about relationships
from the perspective of the soul and monad rather than just the personality. This presents a
broader picture of the problems and common traps of romantic relationship and offers much
deeper and spiritually sound guidance and advice. Drawing on his experience as a
psychotherapist and licensed marriage, family, and child counselor, Dr. Stone has written an
excellent manual for initiates, disciples, and ascended beings.
About the Author

Dr. Joshua David Stone (December 1953–August 2005) was an American author, teacher and
spokesperson for the ascension movement.

He worked very closely with his wife, Terri Sue Stone, who is a claraudient voice channel for the
ascended masters, most specifically for the Ascended Master Djwhal Khul of Alice A. Bailey
fame.

In the 1990s, Dr. Stone initiated the Wesak celebrations at Mount Shasta, California, which are
annual spiritual gatherings that spawned a lot of interest — and controversy — in the New Age
movement. The last Wesak celebration hosted by Dr. Stone at Mount Shasta took place in 2004.
The Wesak celebrations in Mount Shasta are still carried on today.

Dr. Joshua David Stone was a recipient of a PhD in transpersonal psychology and was the author
of a fifteen-volume “Ascension Series” of books, all of which are published by Light
Technology Publishing.
Also by Joshua David Stone, PhD
The Easy-to-Read Encyclopedia of the Spiritual Path

1. The Complete Ascension Manual:

How to Achieve Ascension in This Lifetime
2. Soul Psychology:
Keys to Ascension
3. Beyond Ascension:
How to Complete the Seven Levels of Initiation
4. Hidden Mysteries:
ETs, Ancient Mystery Schools & Ascension
5. The Ascended Masters Light the Way:
Beacons of Ascension
6. Cosmic Ascension:
Your Cosmic Map Home
7. A Beginner’s Guide to the Path of Ascension
8. Golden Keys to Ascension and Healing:
Revelations of Sai Baba and the Ascended Masters
9. Manual for Planetary Leadership
10. Your Ascension Mission:
Embracing Your Puzzle Piece
11. Revelations of a Melchizedek Initiate
12. How to Teach Ascension Classes
13. Ascension and Romantic Relationships
14. Complete Ascension Index
15. How to Be Financially Successful:
A Spiritual Perspective
Contents
About the Book

About the Author

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Finding Your Mate

“Seek and Ye Shall Find”

The Four Lower Bodies

Your Physical Appearance

Your Emotional Appearance

Your Mental Appearance

Summary

Chapter 2: Bonding Patterns

The Balance within Self

The Balance within the Relationship

The Controller and the Controlled

The Artist and Caretaker Trap

The Occultist and the Mystic

The Businesswoman and the House Husband

Relationships with the Same Sex

The Interracial Partnership

Summary

Chapter 3: Unconditional Love and Commitment

Unconditional Love of Self

Never Use Love as a Weapon

Remaining Unconditionally Loving During Severe Testing

Unconditional Daily Living

Commitment

Forgiveness through Acceptance

When Forgiveness Is Truly Necessary

Chapter 4: Competition and the Path of Ascension

Doing Our Personal Best

Spiritual Support vs. Spiritual Competition

Fame and Recognition in the Spiritual Arena

Success in the Marketplace

Competition between Couples in the Same Line of Work

Chapter 5: Our Sexual Selves

The Emotional Level

The Mental Level

The Spiritual Level

Pleasing Your Partner

Sex and Fun

Soul Passion and the Lightworker

Chapter 6: The Differing Elevator Syndrome

Being on the Path of Ascension When Your Partner Is Not

“Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged”

When Your Elevators Are at Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

Choosing to Stay Together

Chapter 7: In Search of Your Soulmate: the Deeper Meaning

Soulmates and Twin Flames

Mission Mates

Monadic Mates

Group Monadic Mates

Sex on the Inner Planes

The Astral Realm

The Mental Realm

The Causal (Buddhic) Realm

The Atmic and Monadic Realms

The Logoic Realm

Merging with the Master

Bodies of the Masters

The Unique Accounts of Saint Germain

Splitting of Souls and Oversouls

Your Pet Mate

Chapter 8: Spiritual Parenting

Choosing Your Parents

The Power of Parental Programming

The Importance of Self-Parenting

Parenting Our Children

Parenting the Infant

Parenting Your Unborn Child

Abortion

Late-Term Abortion

Prebirth Environment and Communication

Birthing in Water and Welcoming with Love

An Esoteric View of the Birth Process

Birth Bardo

Past-Life Effect on Infant and Parents

The Permanent Atoms

The Blank-Slate Theory

It Takes a Village

The Hierarchy’s View on Spanking

Letting Go of Parenting Roles

The Mother/Son or Father/Daughter Relationship in Couples

God, the Ultimate Parent

Chapter 9: The True Meaning of Marriage

Making a Commitment

Gay Marriages

“For Better or for Worse”

When a Relationship Ends

When Divorce is the Best Option

Recommitting to the Commitment

The Sexual Bond

Chapter 10: God, the Consummate Union

Ecstasy

Lost in Love, Found in Love

The Marriage of Minds

Taking Time Alone

Your Alone Time Together

Experiences That Accompany Your Changing Frequencies

Other Symptoms of Spiritual Acceleration

Safe in God’s Love and Light

Chapter 11: Living the Spiritual Life Together

Maintaining Your Balance

Balance within the Relationship

Balancing the Extremes

Affairs vs. Communication

Stopping an Affair at the Mental Level

Affairs and Soul/Monadic Connections

Affairs of the Lower Nature

Living Together

The Traditional Way

Prenuptial Agreements

The Hierarchy’s View of Multiple Spouses

The Effect of AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Celibacy and Marriage

Releasing All Judgments

Chapter 12: The Golden Keys to Effective Romantic Relationships

Special Thank Yous

Preface
As beings in the process of ascension, we are building our light and love quotients and becoming
more and more telepathic. We are in greater touch with the many levels of the Spiritual
Hierarchy, both planetary and cosmic. We are becoming soul-infused and, ultimately, united
with our monad. Yet we are human beings in want of other human beings for community and
companionship. We are in bodies, and those bodies have real and vital needs. Most of us must
eat (though there are those few who do live on light). Most of us must sleep, and we all seek
some kind of shelter from the elements. Almost all of us seek relationships of one kind or
another, and many of us seek a romantic relationship of a deep and enduring nature.

This book on romantic relationships is written for those who are consciously on the path of
ascension — those who have moved beyond the third-dimensional thinking of the bulk of
humanity. And yet, some of our basic needs are quite in stride with humanity as a whole. What is
being addressed within these pages is the integration of all aspects of ourselves. To be fully
divine, do we not also desire to be fully human? All of us want love, almost all of us want it from
our fellow human beings, and most of us want to express it within a romantic relationship.

As lightworkers we need not, nor should we, deny this part of ourselves. In fact we should learn
how best to embrace this within ourselves and with our romantic partners. But we must learn
how to approach it from who we are in the vaster scheme of things, viewing through the lens of
our souls and monads to brighten and heighten every aspect of our romantic relationships.

For those whose calling it is to follow the life of the celibate single, that too is fine. One then
commits to the divine romance between oneself and God. Thus, the focus of this book remains
on romantic relationships, and specifically the romantic relationship between two lightworkers
who join their lights. However, if you are a lightworker involved with a partner who is not as
accelerated as you are, this book is equally for you.
Introduction
The idea and inspiration to write this book came directly from Djwhal Khul. There are many
books written about relationships, but most of them are written from the personality perspective,
rather than from the perspective of the soul and monad. There are three levels of self-
actualization: personality level, soul level and monadic level. Romantic relationships viewed
from a soul and monadic level of understanding are very different from those viewed only from
the personality level.

With my background as a psychotherapist and licensed marriage, family, child counselor,

Djwhal Khul asked me to write this book as another important part of the whole picture. It is my
humble prayer that my beloved readers will find some of my thoughts, feelings, and life
experience — both clinical and personal — to be of value. This book is a manual for high level
disciples, initiates and ascended beings in dealing with the teacher of all teachers: romantic
relationships and parenting. It is written from the perspective of the ascended masters and the
soul and monad, or Mighty I AM Presence.
1
Finding Your Mate
“Seek and Ye Shall Find”
The wonderful and often-used words of Jesus/Sananda, “Seek and ye shall find,” are sometimes
appropriate and sometimes not when discussing romantic relationships. All too often, when one
is seeking that special relationship, that perfect match “made in heaven,” one finds oneself
utterly bereft and alone. This leads to depression and endless worrying and wondering as to why
one is alone. Is it something you have done or not done? Are you not attractive enough, not
spiritual enough? This type of depressive thinking has the unfortunate result of collapsing or
introverting the aura inward upon itself, taking away much of the needed radiance that ultimately
works wonders in attracting a romantic relationship.

On the other hand, if you become detached and not at all focused on finding such a romance,
remaining truly disinterested in finding a partner or a mate, then that too will keep a vital part of
your auric field turned inward, and the necessary “vibes,” so to speak, will not be there to attract
anyone to you.

The best application of the axiom, “Seek and ye shall find,” is to set the intent on a spiritual or a
causative level, then let go and let God. Therefore, you will be planting all the necessary seeds
for a romantic relationship, but you will not be constantly digging them up and thus prevent them
from actually blooming.

Before proceeding, I want to clarify two things. The first is that when we address the issue of
romantic relationships, if the words “him” and “her” are used when referring to a couple, it is
simply because that is the most familiar and common form of relationship. It is the balance and
complement of the masculine and feminine, yin and yang energies. However, this by no means
excludes the romantic relationship between members of the same sex. Man has put a judgment
on this, not God.

From the hierarchical point of view, there is no judgment. For each there is a particular, though
often hidden, purpose in why a romantic relationship forms between members of the same sex.
For all readers, then, let it be clearly stated that the romantic relationship here is for everyone
equally, not only for those between a man and a woman. It is important to understand that
despite outward appearances, the masculine/feminine, yin/yang elements are equally at play in
same-sex relationships. Although they are obviously more subtle, nevertheless they are still a
governing factor. Therefore, when him/her is used, it is simply because it is a more common and
familiar term for relationships in general, but it is in no way intended to exclude partnerships
between members of the same sex.

The other point is that there will be some of you who, for portions of your life or a whole
lifetime, choose to remain single. You too are included in this relationship book, although
admittedly some matters will be more applicable than others. However, the masculine/feminine
polarity, the yin and the yang, exist within each of us. All of us must ultimately bring these to a
point of balance, so there is a great deal you too can gain from reading this book.

On the most profound level, this book deals with the integration of all aspects of ourselves, on an
individual as well as partnership level. Those who are single and celibate and involved in the
divine romance with God can apply some of the techniques given specifically for couples. There
is much in these pages that deals with intimacy, communication and respect. These are equally
applicable in relationships with friends and family as well as the love relationship between
oneself and God.

From a cosmic point of view, all is relationship: sun to sun, planet to star, hierarchy to humanity
and humanity’s relationship to the animal, vegetable and mineral kingdoms. From a cosmic
perspective, we have the divine polarity of Father/Mother God. So let us keep this in mind as we
proceed.

How then shall you ask in order to receive and find your right mate? First ask God, for from the
realms of causation does all manifestation come forth. Talk to God and your own higher self.
Use the prayers about which so much is written in the Beyond Ascension book. The joy and fun
of Huna prayer is that you can create your own. This type of prayer is extremely powerful,
particularly in the area of manifestation. These prayers can help you attract your mate. They can
be used jointly to help you as a couple to unite and bring into manifestation that which will
advance your relationship in both practical matters and matters of the heart.

The next, and extremely important, thing to do is to make a list of what you want, the essence of
the being you want to be deeply and romantically involved with. Be honest and specific, for
vagueness only leads to unsatisfying results. Therefore, take the necessary time to explore this
matter deeply. What are you looking for? What do you seek in a partner? What is most
important, least important, and what fills in all of the spaces in between? It is vital that your
intent be clear and precise, because that is what you are setting into motion, and that is what you
will magnetize to you.

For example, if you know that you are strong in the area of homemaking or creativity but weaker
in business, you may want to seek someone who will complement you. You may seek someone
who does well in the business area but who is searching for a relationship that will provide the
love, support and home base from which to do his/her work. Thus you will set the magnetic
energies of your aura to frequencies that will magnetize the desired person to you. If a potential
partner is proceeding to work in the manner you are, he or she will have been magnetizing his
auric field to attract one such as yourself. In this area at least, your intent is then clear, fully
stated and released to God and to the law of attraction. Thus you are playing the appropriate role
of both seeker and surrenderer. You are planting the seeds, then allowing those seeds to take root
and grow into a relationship.

This process should be repeated to cover the whole gamut of your preferences. It might seem like
a time-consuming project, but it is well worth it. I could not begin to list the damage done by
those who, in their eagerness to find a romantic relationship, completely overlooked many
essentials they really wanted: We find a single parent involved with a partner who has absolutely
no tolerance for children; or a gentle sensitive soul walking head-on into an abusive situation; or
two people of the arts finding that neither has a clue, or desire to learn about, the practical side of
life.

That is why I tell you to be clear, that you state your desired intent on all levels. This process
should be as refined as possible. An example might be that you are an artist seeking a romantic
relationship with another artist. But you want that prospective artist partner to have more of a
worldly and monetary involvement so that you both form a functional unit while you create
beautiful music together. You would read your poetry to him or her before bed; your partner
would in turn have the ability to bring home the bulk of the paycheck. Another example is that of
the mystic and occultist union. You would both be on a spiritual path but would function as
complements of each other.

The main points here are clarity and preciseness, so that you do not find yourself adrift in a sea
of disappointing romantic relationships. If your intent is specific and you hold to that vision, then
you cannot help but magnetize to yourself what you have asked for.

However, it is fine to spend time getting to know different people, even getting a bit romantically
involved, before you commit yourself to a relationship. It may be that the first person you attract,
while fitting your intentions and the requirements of your ideal mate, is still not the person. Some
people may function as a part of your path toward the most appropriate person for you, so don’t
feel that the first person you connect with is the person. Take things slowly and see how a
relationship begins to take actual shape before you run to the altar (or a reasonable facsimile).
Give yourself all the time you need to be as sure as you can before making a total commitment.
You have already put the process in motion and can trust it. So take time, relax and enjoy the
process, and rest assured that the results will be well worth it!

The Four Lower Bodies

For those on the ascension path, being in the body can sometimes be an area of difficulty. For a
great many of us on the path of initiation and ascension, because of the unique time in which we
are living, the physical body may be the last body we consider, yet we need to consider all of
them.

In past ages, and until quite recently, initiation was a much slower process in which each of the
bodies was mastered and brought into alignment. Now, with acceleration happening at ever-
increasing speeds, we often find ourselves at a very high level of initiation with high quotients of
light and love propelling us ever forward, but with our physical, etheric, emotional and mental
bodies lagging behind. When as lightworkers we enter into a romantic relationship, we must pay
attention to these bodies, for much, though by no means all, of our relationships will be
functioning through them. In spiritual relationships, the soul and monad will also play a great
part.

The physical body must be connected to the whole of us. This process has been called “ascension
as descension.” As we evolve spiritually, we want to bring the energies of the soul/monad and of
spirit into the body and, ultimately, into the Earth. Hence we have the ascending energies moving
up through the chakra system, through the column of light, out through the top of the head and as
far into the Godhead as we can consciously raise ourselves. Conversely, we have the descension
of energies where we then bring these divine energies through our columns of light into our four
lower bodies, grounding them into the physical and into the very Earth herself.

Because this is happening at such a high rate of speed in this cosmic day, our bodies are being
forced to adjust to these highly charged frequencies. The effect on humanity can be both
exhilarating and challenging. There can be fatigue and health lessons surfacing on all levels.
Therefore, give yourself the time to give these bodies the necessary care and integrate the
energies through relaxation, proper nutrition, supplements, some form of exercise, emotional
control through the reprogramming of the subconscious via positive affirmations and a constant
“holding the mind steady in the light.” For detailed and specific exercises and meditations, please
refer to Soul Psychology plus later books.

What I want to emphasize here is how the physical, etheric, emotional and mental bodies are key
points of contact in a romantic relationship. They must be worked on diligently both for your
own development and in preparation for a healthier connection with your prospective partner.
This work needs to continue during the entire course of your relationship with your partner.

Those who feel extremely disconnected from their physical body might consider taking a hatha
yoga or movement class. Basically, everyone should be doing some sort of physical exercise,
even if it is simply taking a walk or stretching. For those who are physically limited, do only
what you can. Remember, the path is unique for each of us, as are the lessons, so don’t compare
yourself either to another person or to some standard you hold in your mind. To do so is
extremely destructive. Simply do the best you can with who and where you are as you move
forward on the path.

This also applies to your emotional and mental aspects. If you want a romantic relationship to
work, you must first begin with your relationship to yourself. (See the tools in my earlier books
as well as tools that you have picked up along the way or developed yourself.) The main point is
to work toward integrating and enlightening these four lower bodies with the energies of your
soul and monad. You will need the whole of yourself in an effective romantic relationship, so
why wait another minute?

We are all sensitive to one another and pick up on each other’s energies, either consciously or
unconsciously. As lightworkers, we are highly sensitive, so we will not be attracted to a grump
or one who is overrun by his or her negative ego. In a like manner will we not appear attractive
to another if we are filled with negativity. My best advice is to begin cleaning up now rather than
later. A beautiful aura is a very attractive thing indeed. And it is an aspect that we can’t dress up,
but must truly make over from the inside out. There is no limit to the magnificence of a pure and
radiant inner glow. Therefore, I advise you from my heart to get to work at once. The effect of
clearing away negative ego patterns will have a most beneficial effect in manifesting a
relationship of the highest quality.

Your Physical Appearance

Let us take a look at the part that each of these bodies plays in a relationship. It is a fact of
human nature that for almost all of us, vision is both the first and the primary way in which we
relate to the world around us. For better or worse, we form an immediate impression via the
visual stimulation that occurs upon first seeing a person. It is because of this that poetic phrases
have been expressed such as “I was lost the moment I saw him”; “We knew as soon as our eyes
met”; and “She walks in beauty as the night.”

When appearance becomes the be-all and end-all, however, we function at a very unenlightened
level. But to deny the fact that appearance plays an important role in both attracting and
maintaining a romantic relationship would be unrealistic. We all have our particular preferences.
As lightworkers, we are as vulnerable as the mass of humanity to first impressions and
appearances. In fact, the more evolved we are, the more levels of appearance we are able to pick
up on. We may find ourselves immediately drawn to a person’s physical appearance, yet on
looking more closely and deeply, we may find ourselves revolted by their auric manifestations.
We should realize that as we mingle with other lightworkers in search of a romantic relationship,
others are looking at us to see what meets their own eye.

Please bear in mind that I am not speaking of trying to fit into images and standards portrayed in
the media. I am simply stating that as a race we are a visually oriented people. We should
therefore take this into consideration when seeking to connect on a romantic level. We also need
to realize that the physical presentation of oneself touches nearly every other aspect of human
relationships as well. Therefore, rather than denying or suppressing this aspect of ourselves, we
can set about doing the very best with who we are. Again, we are not trying to fit into someone
else’s mold or model of physical appearance. What I am talking about is the basic human
condition that appreciates one who exudes confidence, good personal hygiene and a sense of
honoring the form, the physical self.

For many lightworkers, during certain phases of our spiritual journeys, being in body often feels
like an altogether alien concept. I have met very highly evolved souls who are so disconnected
from their physical selves that they are barely in touch with their physical bodies. This is
obviously not the time for a person to seek a romantic relationship — or if it is, one had better
get grounded fast!

Looking at ascension as descension is a key perspective at this juncture. As lightworkers, we are

rising toward the light as we are becoming light. We are equally guided to bring that light down
into the physical. If we keep this in mind, then it will be easier to see the validity of honoring and
taking care of our bodies. We each can be the best we can be in our physical bodies even as we
strive to be so in the higher bodies. If you want to be noticed and appreciated as a physical being,
you must first appreciate yourself as such, then bring that forth into manifestation the way you
feel suits you best.

If comfortable jeans and new-age T-shirts or long hair and flowing dresses best express your
inner self, then go that route. If you feel more confident and comfortable in a tailored look, by all
means dress that way. If lots of jewelry, long earrings and massive crystals are your thing, then
wear them to the hilt! What is being suggested is that you become and remain aware that what
you show to the world and to prospective or current partners speaks out about you. The physical
body conveys a message, even for those of us who dwell primarily in the realm of spirit. So seek
to adjust your appearance to communicate what and who you are in the clearest and most
confident way possible.

Your Emotional Appearance

You are well aware that you inhabit not one body, but several. The emotional body is vital to
consider, as it is very closely linked to both the physical and the mental. The emotional aura,
being so closely tied to the physical, will bleed through, coloring that physical aspect of
ourselves with our emotional energies. I don’t care if you are a “10” in the mundane system of
rating physical appearances or, more importantly, in the eyes of your partner or perspective
partner, but if you have a lot of negative stuff in your emotional body, ultimately that will be
seen, and it will make an otherwise attractive person less attractive.

Have you ever noticed a person who has the traditional “perfect” features or look, yet you see a
sullenness or a negativity that seems to distort those otherwise-perfect features? This is because
if a person is filled with hatred, anger, greed, jealousy and the like, these emotions will express
themselves upon the physical form.

In the reverse situation, have you ever noticed a person with relatively plain features who
appears to manifest such great inner beauty that it envelops the person, and he or she appears
irresistible? Perhaps such a person is your mate. When a person is imbued with the godlike
qualities of love, devotion, gentleness, compassion and joy, these permeate their entire being.
These qualities take actual shape and form, so that this person seems to be an angel on Earth.
There is truly no way to separate the whole of ourselves, and that is why each of the bodies needs
our utmost care and attention.

Your Mental Appearance

No discussion of one’s appearance would be complete without taking into account the mental
appearance. The mental body is almost as closely linked to the physical as the emotional body is,
and it has an equally strong effect on it. What we think, we manifest; the thoughts we carry
around with us take shape within us and manifest in our bodies.

We cannot help but build our physical bodies with thoughts. As his holiness the Lord Sai Baba
has said, “The mind can create bondage or the mind can create liberation.” The mind filled with
ugly and debased thoughts creates an aura so filled. These thoughts seep right through into the
physical vehicle, so a negative nature will find physical expression in one’s face, posture and
persona. I am sure you have heard people of extreme physical beauty being called ugly because
of their thoughts and deeds.

By the same token, those who hold their thoughts to the good, the beautiful and the true will find
those thoughts taking shape and form in their lives and bodies. One would hear it said of such a
person that he or she is very beautiful. The more God-like the thoughts, the more God-like or
beautiful is one’s radiance.

Summary
You have picked up this book for one of several reasons. Either you are seeking your “right
partner,” you are in a relationship that you want to improve, or you are wondering why you have
been disappointed again and again and can’t seem to hook up with the right person. So you are
seeking an effective, working, wonderful romantic relationship.

What I hope you understand thus far is that first you must be right with yourself and with your
connection to God before a relationship can function in a healthy manner. Your physical/etheric,
emotional and mental bodies form one complete whole, and together they create both the outer
and the inner appearance. You cannot disguise who you are, nor is there enough makeup in the
world to cover the blemishes that reveal themselves when the emotional and mental bodies are
not functioning in harmony with God’s laws.

Although it is clearly stated that appearance is very important in a romantic relationship, I am not
speaking about false appearance, but the appearance of the whole of you: the physical,
emotional, mental and spiritual, which operate through the physical body. Therefore, I urge you
to take a good and honest look at yourself from the perspective presented here. Your physical
body is very important in actualizing a romantic relationship, but equally important are your
emotional and mental bodies. Ultimately these bodies present one face and form, and each must
be given its due by continually being worked on and upgraded. Then when you are either seeking
a partner or desiring to improve an existing partnership, you are in the best possible shape. You
will be able to call forth the best possible romantic relationship — one that is functioning at the
highest level with the best possible mate.
2
Bonding Patterns
The Balance within Self
In a romantic relationship we are dealing with the bonding of two individuals. Each of these
individuals needs to align within the four-body system as well as the higher bodies. The first
relationship to be looked at is that which we have with ourselves. It makes perfect sense to do
this, for it is ourselves that we are bringing to the relationship. And it is from ourselves, whether
balanced or not, that we will interact and seek to bond with our partner.

For example, if we are out of sorts emotionally, overly needy or have low self-esteem, it won’t
really matter how giving and loving our partner is because we will not feel that we are loved
enough. So the relationship might seem to lack a depth of loving and caring from our mate when
in truth we are being loved and cared for very much. That is why it is so important first to have
an awareness of our makeup and the areas that need work, then diligently work on them. While it
is true that our relationships can help us see ourselves in a more positive and worthy light, if we
do not work on our own issues, ultimately we will feel unsatisfied and somehow manage to
sabotage the good we are receiving.

The Balance within the Relationship

We have looked at how the balance within oneself can affect the balance within a relationship.
However, this only sets the stage for an in-depth exploration of the various aspects of the
dynamic of interaction within the relationship. The ways in which two people come together in
partnership are infinite, so I will highlight and discuss some of the most common ones. What will
be discussed is basically of a universal nature, and it is hoped that you can use these as doorways
into your unique situation. In fact, some of us may be experiencing a situation from two
seemingly opposite perspectives, feeling perhaps at once both victim and jailer; or the seeming
ruler of our mate, yet the slave of our own weaknesses. Already you can see how vast and
interwoven this subject is, so let us begin to break it down a bit.

The Controller and the Controlled

For one reason or another, some of us need to feel ourselves in control at all times. This need can
be distilled down to the misqualified and confused use of personal power. I consider owning
one’s personal power to be one of the most important keys to one’s spiritual journey. However, if
that power is running amuck and seeking to control others, most particularly your romantic
partner, the power is inappropriately used. When one is operating out of this venue, one will
most probably attract a mate with low self-esteem or one who is a people-pleaser. This then
brings one into a parent-to-child relationship and/or a king or queen-to-subject relationship. This
might seem to work for a brief period of time, as both parties involved have followed the path of
least resistance, flowing along and letting the negative ego stay in control.

This will not work on a long-term basis, however, particularly for lightworkers involved in the
ascension process or any sort of growth process. For those of us consciously evolving, the
imbalance of such a situation will come quickly into our awareness and, hopefully, both partners
can use this aspect of the relationship to continue to grow, evolve and heal. Yet even for those
who are less conscious, something will be unsettling, with ensuing arguments and episodes in
which there is acting out by one of the partners as jailer, king or queen in an attempt to maintain
control. If this pattern reveals itself in your relationship, it is hoped that you use this opportunity
as a vehicle for further growth, purification and cleansing.

In Soul Psychology I have given detailed exercises you can use. I suggest that you work with
some of these tools as a couple, for you are given the opportunity to rub yourself clean upon the
sandpaper of each other by virtue of being in a relationship. As a couple you might also consider
counseling, for the objective perspective of a qualified professional can at times be extremely
helpful. You might also suggest thanking one another for helping to bring these negative ego
traits to light.

It then becomes essential that you work on yourself, in communion with yourself, God, the
masters and the subconscious mind. If you need to be in control so desperately, it would be good
to find out why. There is probably a good reason for it, a reason that at one time or another
served you well. Perhaps you were left as head of the household when you were ten years old
and had to assume control in order to survive. The main thing is to realize that what was
appropriate at one point is not appropriate now. Ask for divine healing. Ask for God, the masters
and your monad to shine their light on the situation. Know that the universe is supported and
sustained by Source, by God Itself, and it is not your function or your place to control
everything, nor is it possible.

Surrender to God and release your control attitude into the violet fire of transmutation given by
the grace of St. Germain. Use the tools I spoke of to work with the subconscious mind.
Remember, life is a lesson and relationships are some of the best teachers you can possibly find.
No one has to stay stuck. The whole process of ascension is moving into light and love, and this
process is both a service and a joy. Doing this work within the context of a relationship provides
support and companionship as well as special challenges.

If you find yourself functioning as the “subject” or the child within the relationship, the same
advice is offered to you, but from the opposite end of the spectrum. You too have assumed your
role because of a need to survive at some crucial point in your life. Perhaps you had very
domineering parents who withdrew their love if you asserted yourself, but showered you with
affection if you were the good little boy or girl who didn’t assert yourself.

What was once appropriate is no longer appropriate. You can work with the tools to reprogram
your subconscious mind. You likewise can ask for help from God and the masters, calling upon
the violet transmuting flame of St. Germain and also Archangel Michael for strength. It is time
for you to claim, own and stand firm in your personal power. It is also good to realize that as a
lightworker on the path, you have done well to allow your relationship to reveal the hidden
aspects of yourself that need work and clearing. Then you act to claim your power and heal that
lost child within yourself.

If you need to look to someone for support and guidance, look to the pure essence of
Father/Mother God. There is no difficulty or rift so great and no problem so deep that it cannot
be worked on by you and ultimately healed with the light and love of God. And if you are in a
committed relationship, you can anchor and support each other in the process. This would lift
your romantic relationship to the level of a divinely romantic relationship between you, your
partner and God!

The Artist and Caretaker Trap

Art is one of humanity’s highest callings, as it is the expression of the beautiful upon the Earth.
Artists working on a higher level often work, in varying degrees, with the angels of art, music
and beauty. Even for one with such a high calling, there are many dangers to the artist, primarily
the danger of removing oneself from the normal functioning of the world. In relationships, this
may entail dumping the entire burden of the so-called mundane into a partner’s lap.

What usually occurs in relationships of this sort is a profound infatuation between two people,
with art serving as one of the most potent aphrodisiacs in the world. Either the nonartist is taken
into wondrous poetic realms by the artist or, if both partners are artists, they fly off together into
a romantic heaven. Of course, if the artistic person is balanced, there is no giant chasm between
the beautiful world of the creator and the world of daily life. But more often, the nonartist or one
of the artists in a two-artist relationship will be left holding the bag. There can be a healthy
balance between the artist and the partner. But what often occurs is that the more creative of the
two sees an opportunity to retreat into a world of creation, and the other feels a certain
responsibility to take care of every other aspect of life, which cannot help but lead to resentment
and frustration.

We are not all meant to play the same parts. In fact, we are each uniquely designed to play
certain roles. However, we are all called upon to find the proper point of balance within
ourselves, our romantic relationships and our relationship with the world, which calls for an
integration and a balancing that we each must cultivate. It is just too easy for the eccentric artist
to cop out and let the partner pick up the slack of daily living. This is just not fair, nor does it
serve to integrate either the couple as a unit or the individualized soul/monad in incarnation. In
relationships of this type, the honeymoon often ends abruptly, when the frustrated “doer of the
mundane” realizes that he/she is in this arena alone and cries out for support.

If you find yourself in either role in this kind of relationship, what is called for above all else is
communication. Actually, good communication is essential to the health and well-being of all
relationships; but for the moment we will limit our discussion to problems inherent in the
situation of the artist and mate. It is essential to talk things out, share your feelings and use the
tools I have mentioned. More than likely, all that is needed is a little shift, a bit more awareness
on the part of the artist as to what the other person is doing and certainly the willingness to
contribute. No one should be left bearing all the responsibilities.
If you have hooked up with a pure artist, and provided you don’t mind, it might be all right to do
most of the daily stuff. But no one should do it all. It is important to have awareness,
appreciation and a certain amount of participation on the part of the other person.

If you fell in love with your artistic partner and at first didn’t mind carrying the responsibilities
of daily life, but now find that this type of lopsided situation no longer seems fair or right, then
lovingly sit down with your mate and tell him/her so. If you are the artist, I encourage you to
listen and be open to changes. They might not have to be big changes. Little changes can often
go a long way, and slight adjustments might align things in their proper order. However, in order
to do this, the issue must be addressed and both people must be willing to look at why they have
assumed the roles they play.

For the artist, art is probably your true and divine calling, but not to the absolute exclusion of all
else. The partner of the artist is more than likely highly elevated, moved and opened by his/her
mate’s work in whatever medium he/she is working. It is vital that you acknowledge that, but it
also is important that you look deeper. Perhaps your eagerness to play caretaker and supporter
has an unhealthy aspect, and your rising discontent is now bringing it to light. It may be that you
falsely believe that constant caretaking and support is the only way for you to get the love you
need. I am here to tell you that this is not true. You are lovable and deserving of love by virtue of
being, because it is your divine birthright, because you are a child of God. Recognize and
explore this.

An artist with a more worldly partner, or two artists, one of which is somewhat more actualized
in the world, can be a wonderful balance. It is the extreme that throws things off balance. The
nonintegration of individuals who, while utilizing their strong points, have not found the proper
balance within themselves, puts this type of relationship off kilter. What is really needed in this
instance, as in life and romantic relationships, is the continual working on one’s own relationship
to self. The more work done on self, the clearer and the more functional your relationship will
become.

The relationship between the artist and the caretaker has in actuality a wonderful potential. My
guess would be that although there is the codependence factor in operation, you also have been
attracted to each other because somewhere inside, each of you recognizes that you really would
like to incorporate the missing parts of yourselves that the other is demonstrating. This is the
perfect relationship to be in and the perfect opportunity to expand your own horizons. Therefore
I encourage you to work together on this, even as you will also be working alone. Then a very
balanced, mutually beneficial and deeply romantic relationship can blossom and grow.

You who are involved in this type of relationship have a great opportunity to grow and evolve
both individually and as partners, if you are willing to confront your specific challenges and
make the necessary adjustments. This will lead to a point of balance that has hitherto never been
achieved, either alone or in relationship. Thank each other for this opportunity and get to work!

The Occultist and the Mystic

One of the more interesting bonding patterns, and one that is ever on the rise with the mass wave
of ascension and the elevation of humanity as a whole, is that of the occultist and the mystic.
Herein lies a great potential for doing one’s service work in conjunction with fulfilling the need
for a romantic relationship. When the occultist and the mystic come together as romantic
partners, they will often be mission mates as well. Thus what is found here is a threefold purpose
being fulfilled in this unique blending. This aptly could be called a marriage made in heaven. Yet
this needs to be qualified with a big “if” — if the two partners can also come to terms with the
lessons and growth patterns born of the Earth!

It is a wonderful thing indeed when two lightworkers come together wherein the spiritual
psychologist, logician and cosmic scientist, functioning through a highly active brain center, join
with a more intuitive, feeling-based, love-centered mystic who functions through a highly active
heart center. The work they can do for the planet and for each other is virtually boundless.
However, these people are in no way exempt from the problems inherent in the bonding
experience, and they will inevitably be faced with problems unique to them as well as the more
common problems that arise out of living as a couple upon planet Earth.

It is wise to remember that in this case, relationships are the great mirror of ourselves.
Relationships are also great purifiers and revealers for those of us who are open to growth and
willing to bring to light facets of ourselves that have been hidden. For example, a true occultist
might become so absorbed in the mechanics and configurations of the universe that he loses
touch with the simple mechanics of daily living. He might tend to forget certain things that are
rather important to his heart-based partner. (Often it is the male who is more the occultist and the
female more the mystic, although that is by no means always the case.)

The occultist might be so immersed in the cosmology of the universe that he forgets the time
tables of daily life as well as birthdays, anniversaries and the like. An overlooked or glossed-over
birthday is extremely painful to the heart-based mystic, and it is indeed a time of honoring.
Again we are faced with finding the point of balance within ourselves that allows us to be who
we are to the fullest and yet integrate the whole.

Many lightworkers would like to be exempt from the practicalities of life, but this part of life
must be faced and dealt with from whatever level one is at. Integration of all the bodies is a must,
and none is too elite to be exempt. It is hoped that the more enlightened you become, the more
you bring all the bodies with you. But as acceleration is happening at so vast a speed, it is
inevitable that there is work to be done in this department by all of us.

Let us consider the mystic in this light as well. Here we find a person with much heart-love who
is often a channel of one kind or another. She may channel books, poetry, lectures, painting and
so on, and in her own way be as connected with the abstract as the occultist. What can happen
here is that she may get as lost in the lofty and visionary spheres as the eccentric artist spoken of
earlier. She may fail to connect with the more earthly matters, experiencing them as too weighty
or too much trouble. The mystic would be less likely to forget birthdays and anniversaries, as
these would have great emotional impact for her.

However, there is a danger for the mystic in neglecting the healthy functioning of her own
emotional sphere, except in the aforementioned matters. She may allow herself to experience
only those who have a direct link to the loftier realms of feeling. As with everyone, all aspects of
oneself must be worked with and brought into alignment. This will ultimately make the mystic a
better channel and romantic partner, for integration of the whole is a matter for everyone.

The marriage between mystic and occultist has enormous potential. This would be a blending of
two people who carry a great deal of light. They have much to offer each other and much to give
to the world. The basic resonance between the two would be of a very high and refined nature,
and the love that is shared would contain a great deal of divine love. However, the basic danger
lies in forgetting their human qualities and the fact that they are faced with some of the same
basic difficulties and challenges inherent in all relationships. Each must take personal
responsibility for working on the healthy functioning of the four lower bodies. They must also
work at integrating the energies coming in through the soul and/or monad, which are very
powerful and transformational energies.

Another point to consider is that the occultist often tends to be more psychologically integrated
and the mystic more psychically developed. This offers a wonderful opportunity to provide
balance for each other and help stimulate the missing facet within each other. Thus the occultist
would learn how to integrate the qualities of the mystic, and the mystic in turn would learn how
to integrate the qualities of the occultist. This would lead to a greater balance within the
individual and a greater cooperation within the relationship.

The higher you go, the more integrated you must become. Be grateful that you have each other
and the energies of soul/monad as well as the grace and blessings of the masters you invoke. In
your bonding there is an opportunity for great advancement and service work and a speeding-up
of the initiatory process. However, this can only occur if you are willing to take a good, hard
look at yourselves (not each other, but yourselves ) and work with the same tools that have been
suggested for everyone else. You must be willing to overhaul your entire four-body system and
rid yourselves of any and all contaminants, blockages and negative ego patterns you find there.
In romantic relationships, we have the opportunity to do this if both partners are willing to truly
help each other in this process.

For those of us doing the work of ascension, whether in a partner situation or alone, this is of
utmost importance, and I cannot stress this strongly enough. The temptation to ride the high
horse and think yourself beyond this work because you have passed this or that initiation is
rampant. Therefore I go through this process daily as well as ask for the cleansing, healing,
clearing of my field and so forth. None of us are exempt or too elevated — after all, this is the
program. What is vital is that you recognize that the more light and love quotient we have, the
more we are asked to serve. It is therefore crucial that we do this from as clean, pure and
integrated a place as possible.

The pairing of two lightworkers provides the opportunity for each to hold the point of clarity for
the other when one falters a bit. One partner can gently and lovingly help the other to become
aware, and then that one can set about the work of realignment. By no means must either the
occultist or the mystic think that he/she is better or higher than the partner and assume the role of
false guruship. All I am saying is that in this unique bonding pattern, the two lightworkers can
help each other help themselves and be a wonderful support for each another. Just as each must
come to the point of the yin/yang, Shiva/Shakti, masculine/feminine balance within oneself, so
too is there a point wherein the occultist and the mystic merge within each being.
Just as a balanced man has his point of balance and a balanced woman has hers, so some are
designed to be balanced more on the occult side and some more on the mystical. The point
remains, however, to balance and to integrate all four lower bodies as well as the higher ones and
remain loving and open supporters within the relationship. The work continues — it just gets
more refined.

So, occultist/mystic partners, keep up the good work. Keep working on yourselves always, and in
love and support do the work required of all relationships. Hold ever steady in the light and to
your divine mission, and you will indeed be doing the very best you can do. Then go out and
have some fun, relax and enjoy each other. We occultist and mystic types can forget this side of
life, so I urge you to remember to do what it is said of God: “And on the seventh day He rested.”
Do the work, but relax and enjoy each other as well!

The Businesswoman and the House Husband

I would like to address a situation that we are seeing more and more in our changing times. This
is the age of the divine Mother, and among the many new energies and transformative patterns
that are now occurring upon planet Earth is that of the anchoring of the divine feminine. As we
have been living in what has been aptly called a man’s world for a long time, this shift requires
much adjustment on the parts of both men and women.

New structures and patterns are evolving today between men and women that are very different
from what has been considered the norm in our society. Both men and women may find
themselves a bit at sea amidst the constant restructuring going on today. It is not uncommon, for
a variety of reasons and in many variations on a theme, to find the woman being the main
breadwinner who goes out into the world and the man staying at home.

This can be caused by a variety of circumstances, such as the basic worldwide economic
situation. The man might be burned out by a job he has had for twenty years, or he might simply
enjoy working at home with the children. Or the woman might seek to actualize a certain career
ambition. It might be that in our computer age the man continues to work, but by way of
computer, fax and so forth, while the woman wants to be out in the arena of worldly affairs. The
main point is not to prejudge the situation, particularly if you find yourselves operating from
within one. Remain open and communicative with your partner to make sure that each of you is
happy in the roles you have assumed.

Is the part you are playing in such a structure truly all right with you? Have you chosen to be out
there or are you feeling forced, feeling that your partner is being lazy or copping out? If you are
the one at home, is that all right with you, or are you feeling trapped? If indeed it is not all right
with you to keep functioning in the manner in which you have been, it is your obligation to
lovingly and gently, but honestly, communicate this at a time when your partner is receptive.
However, if the role you are playing feels right for you, then make a mental/emotional note of it
or even perhaps put it into the physical by way of writing. Then, out of courtesy, check to see if
your partner is okay with his/her role. If the answer is no, you have some serious communicating
and readjusting to do; but if the answer is yes, then play your parts with the utmost joy and
devotion and do not allow other parties to interfere or try to lock you into old belief systems.
The important thing is that the relationship feels right within you. Then remember that this is
what you need to honor. One suggestion, however, is that you do not lose sight of the feminine
principle active within the woman or the masculine energies functioning within the man. A
woman coming home after a hard day’s work most probably would be delighted to be greeted
with flowers. Words of appreciation for the man who has been working at home would give him
the acknowledgment he needs in order to feel useful and purposeful. Changing roles does not
necessarily mean changing needs . A woman still needs to feel like a woman, and a man needs to
feel like a man.

The feminine principle is being reawakened upon the Earth, and this is one of the reasons why
women increasingly find themselves in the workplace doing a wider and wider range of work.
Women are serving to anchor the feminine energy in all areas of business, government,
education, science, the humanities and the arts. Another reason that women increasingly are out
in the workplace is purely economical. It is more and more the norm that both partners are
making financial contributions to the unit. From a deeper esoteric level, this again reflects the
balancing and integration of the masculine and feminine principles.

This balancing and integration is happening on many levels. Men are learning to soften and to
honor the feminine within them and women are toughening up and bringing forth more of the
masculine energies. All this, in effect, leads to more balanced, whole and integrated individuals,
partnerships and, ultimately, the planet itself.

I simply ask you not to judge yourselves in any way if you find yourselves in a role reversal or a
partial role reversal. The thing to remember is that it is perfect and right as long as it is right with
both partners. But be aware that what might feel right at one point in your relationship might
suddenly feel off base at another. Stay open and honest with yourself and your partner, keeping
the lines of communication open and active at all times. Remember that there is no outer
standard you need try to conform to. What you need to do is fulfill your own mission as it
unfolds and be willing to do the necessary work each step of the way.

We are each unique and therefore each relationship will be unique. For ourselves and for each
other let’s remember to “judge not lest we be judged.” We should then proceed to live as we see
fit and be willing to change when and if it is appropriate.

Relationships with the Same Sex

What has been said also applies to those who are in relationships with a member of the same sex.
Everything that applies to a heterosexual relationship likewise applies to you. Many of the
difficulties that arise out of a role-reversal relationship also apply to you, in that there are a great
many who are prejudging your situation. The main thing to remember is that God and the
masters are not judging, so don’t take other people’s judgments to heart. The other thing to
remember is that you face the very same challenges of integrating and balancing the four-body
system and ultimately the soul and monad, as does everyone else, in addition to balancing the
masculine/feminine polarities. Even in relationships between members of the same sex, this
balance will need addressing. The yin/yang energies are an aspect of the cosmos itself.

While it is true that you have the outer world to contend with, ultimately you have the same work
to do on yourselves and your relationships as everyone else. The tools I suggest, the
communication, the work on oneself, apply equally to you. Each one of us is dealing with the
whole of ourselves and must do basically the same work.

The Interracial Partnership

The interracial couple shares much of the same burden of judgment by society as does the same-
sex couple. It is unfortunate that the bulk of humanity still functions from so limited a
perspective as to place judgment on your relationship. Any relationship is hard enough to
maintain without this added burden. A part of the divine plan is actually being fulfilled through
interracial marriages, for they demonstrate the true unity of all humankind. This is the unity that
we are creating upon Earth as the golden age manifests.

Beyond that, the same dynamics are at play, and couples in this situation would do well to
explore all that preceded in this chapter and all that follows. The only thing I might add is, take a
good look within to see if you are truly in love with your partner and are committed to him or
her, or if you are in some sort of rebellion against either family or society in general. If the latter
is the case, you need to be honest for the sake of yourself, your partner and the relationship. Face
your true motivations rather than continue in a relationship that has no real heart. However, if the
former is the case and you feel deep love and commitment to your partner, go the whole nine
yards with your relationship and reap all the benefits of a committed partnership. Commit to
doing all the necessary work on yourselves through the process of integration and self-balancing.

Summary
I have addressed some of the more common ways in which couples bond. There are, of course,
other ways as well as many permutations within those that have been discussed. You might want
to look at the various archetypes and assess which roles you and your partner fit into; then
explore the many possibilities via the archetypal lens. The main point I want you all to bear in
mind is how relationships between two people manifest as the result of the relationship that each
one has with self. It is here that the bulk of the work lies and where the alignment, integration
and clearing must take place.

Because you are in a relationship, you can be of great value and support to one another in that
process. You can reach the highest, most integrated potential not only as an individual, but as a
couple. Remember also that being in a relationship has allowed much to surface, and what is
brought into the light and revealed is more easily cleansed than that which is hidden. Therefore,
thank your partner for this service, as it is a service indeed.

The other key point is that basically we are looking at relationship through the personality, the
soul and ultimately the monad. Since you are most likely reading this book because the subjects
of both relationship and ascension are of value to you, you will be accessing energies from the
soul/monadic levels. Consequently, there will be more of you involved in the relationship and
more energies to deal with. Thus there is a greater and deeper quality of love for you to
experience and integrate, and there is more light within you. By virtue of the nature of light, it
both lightens your aura and reveals the darker spots that need cleansing and balancing.
You are on a most wondrous journey, that of ascension and romantic relationship, with great
potential to make rapid growth in both areas. The issue of bonding reveals much about us, but I
remind you that as lightworkers on the path of ascension, you have asked for this. You have
asked that all be brought into the light and that all negativity be transmuted and transcended. And
you have asked that light, love, unity and joy remain unfettered.

Remember that God is within every relationship and that your relationship with God is one unto
itself. No one is ever really alone, and all are being called to a deeper, fuller, more bountiful and
beautiful experience of the unity of God. Work gently to express this unity in your relationship
with yourself and with each another. Then you will expand in your relationship to God and in
unity with all life.
3
Unconditional Love and Commitment
Before discussing the topic of love, it must first be stated that unconditional love is love.
Anything less is an aspect of love that has become distorted. In the striving for unconditional
love, initially we may embrace only a fraction of what we are seeking, but at least we are
following the pathway toward living in the light of true unconditional love. The true nature of
love is that it stands in the light of its own being, and it remains unconditional at all times. To
borrow a quote from William Shakespeare (who was, in fact, St. Germain), “Love alters not
when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove. Oh no, it [love] is an ever-fixed
mark that looks on tempests and is not shaken.”

This is not to imply that we do not love at all, for we most certainly do. But for most of us, and
indeed for all of us at times, we love most incompletely. There is no judgment implied in this, for
what we are about is growing in our capacity to love unconditionally just as we are growing in
our capacity to contain light and embrace wisdom. Since this is a process, we would do well to
allow our relationships to help us hold to ever greater standards in this matter and work diligently
in learning how to truly exhibit unconditional love.

Unconditional Love of Self

As with all that has been discussed thus far, the subject of unconditional love must first start with
oneself. “As above, so below” in this instance is equivalent to “as within, so without.” We can
never demonstrate that which we have not yet attained, incorporated and activated within
ourselves first. Therefore, I ask you first to look at the level and quality of the love you have for
yourself. Many of us are not very good at self-love at all and are far better at giving love to
others than to ourselves. However, if we do not truly cultivate self-love, then we will find that we
are unable to keep giving whatever we have not allowed ourselves to receive.

It is imperative that we each learn how to love ourselves unconditionally. This might take a
greater or lesser degree of work, depending on where we are. Some of us have a lot of negative
programming to overcome from family, school, work environments and the world in general.
The faulty programming is believing that we must prove ourselves worthy of love in order to
receive the love that is already there for us simply by virtue of being. From our conditioning, we
each had a different set of rules to follow and expectations to fulfill before we could receive love
that is there. Unfortunately, we have taken this into our consciousness and have allowed it to
become part of our subconscious programming and belief system. We are therefore unable to
freely love ourselves, for no one can truly live up to these imposed standards. Ultimately, we all
find ourselves incapable of unconditional self-love.

In the area of unconditional self-love, one must first be right with oneself before one can be right
in a relationship. Ideally, in every relationship we should come from and hold an attitude of
unconditional love, but this will not be possible until we can hold that attitude toward ourselves.
I have given many tools for you to work with in Soul Psychology. Two additional tools I have
found to be of great value are A Course in Miracles and a set of tapes called How to Build High
Self-Esteem by Jack Canfield.

There is also the option of finding a well-qualified therapist who incorporates the spiritual with
the psychological. Again I remind you that this is a process, and considering how most of us
have been raised, it is a process that requires much attention and devotion. However, since God
is love as well as light and power rightly used, this is a most important theme that runs through
the whole of Creation and one that deserves all you can give it.

Love is one of the great divine qualities we are all developing and expanding as we tread the path
of ascension. Therefore, all are encouraged to work on this most divine aspect of self, both in
yourselves and in the arena of your relationships.

Never Use Love as a Weapon

Of course, true love is unconditional and therefore could never be used as a weapon, but all too
often people in romantic relationships will use the giving and withdrawing of expressions of
affection as a tool of manipulation. This can run the gamut from mild manipulation to
withdrawing love and replacing it with anger and, in the most extreme cases, violence.

Violence of any kind should never be tolerated, and this pertains to violence of a psychic and
emotional nature as well as physical violence. When violence is used against the person we
supposedly love, we are distorting love in the most vile way possible and making a weapon of it
by either figuratively or literally thrusting a knife into the hearts of the ones who have opened
their hearts to us. This example is obviously of such an extreme nature that I use it only as a
wake-up call to any and all who see the slightest signs of violence in the behavior of their
partner. This is not to be tolerated; either the behavior must abruptly end, with appropriate
counseling to follow, or the relationship must end.

If you know that you are prone to anger and violent outbursts, I suggest that you immediately
seek help via counseling, support groups, books, tapes or whatever other means you find most
helpful. Never ever let this loose upon your partner or anyone else, but immediately start the
process of eliminating it from your program banks, faulty thinking and gut-response system.
Love is the opposite of fear, and anger is the acting-out of fear by lashing out at others. There is
help. No one needs to stay stuck, and if you find yourself stuck in that violent place, please, for
the sake of yourself and all concerned, do not wait another minute! Seek help now!

In the lesser extreme we return to the theme of using love as a tool of manipulation by the giving
or withdrawing of one’s affections. The classic place where this occurs is in the bedroom. One
partner or the other finds that he/she can exercise a good deal of control over the other by being
sexually available in order to get something or in order to illicit a desired behavior from the
mate. This is unfair as well as destructive.

Two people coming together in sexual union is a highly spiritual and sacred act. That is not to
infer that it is not a pleasurable and often playful time, for it is all these things and more. What it
is not, however, is an act to be used to control your partner. Sex is so powerful and intimate that
we are most vulnerable during this time, and it should never be used by anyone against another.
Often we are equally vulnerable and open in its anticipation, and when it is withdrawn or denied
as a means to an end, sex becomes a weapon we wield rather than an intimacy we share.

As lightworkers, hopefully we are using sexual intimacy to further bond, to raise the energies
through tantric means or to simply enjoy ourselves with our mates. However, these issues
relating to manipulation can also manifest in us. Since we are on the path of ascension, hopefully
all are working diligently to get to the core of these problem areas.

This applies outside the bedroom as well. We must be watchful not to use withdrawal of
affection as a weapon by tuning the other person out or becoming cold and detached because we
are dissatisfied with something in our relationship. We must not assume that our partner will get
the point from our lack of being there. First, even for those who are more psychically developed,
our partner most probably will not get the point of this behavior, but will feel confused, hurt or
angry. Second, this is not the appropriate mode of communication. Good communication must be
clear, open and direct.

I have seen couples trying to punish each other by humiliating them in public or in other social
settings, which invariably results in both partners becoming even more hurt and angry. Here is
another classic example of what should be love turned into a weapon. Nothing good can ever
come out of two people’s negative egos locking horns and having a go at it. The negative ego
can be a very tricky and subtle thing and can sneak up on you and take control if not closely kept
in check.

It is obvious that issues will come up between two people, particularly when involved in a
relationship of a romantic nature. This is to be expected, even welcomed, because growth, love
and ascension are all made easier through being able to see the dormant and hidden arise from
the subconscious — that is, of course, if properly handled. I suggest that you both remain honest
and open with each other. When a tender issue comes up, wait until the initial surge of emotion is
over before you attempt to talk about it. Then from a place of relative calm, hold hands for a
moment and call upon both of your souls and monads to overlight you in your discussion. You
might also ask for the help of God and the ascended masters with whom you feel closest. Then
and only then, when you are aligned with your highest aspects (soul/monad), begin to share what
is bothering you and enter into true communication regarding your issues. By practicing such a
simple technique as this, by just waiting until after that first surge of anger or resentment and by
linking with your divine I Am Presence, you can come from a place of clarity. The environment
of a loving and committed relationship can serve to propel both you and your partner further into
the very heart of love and light. It can bring you ever more deeply and fully into the essence of
that unity we call God.

Remaining Unconditionally Loving During Severe Testing

Sometimes our love is indeed pushed to the limit and we find ourselves confronted with a
challenge such as being lied to or cheated on. We feel that this indicates the betrayal of the
shared love and commitment, and we want to withdraw our own unconditional love and
commitment. I pick this extreme example to emphasize that the highest level of love is
unconditional, which means love under any conditions. So in all situations we need to strive to
remain steady in unconditional love, which is staying steady in the love that is of God.

Ultimately, how you might deal with a given situation is for you to decide. In the case of an
affair, perhaps it might be appropriate to end that commitment, for it could be that you and your
partner are moving in different directions. But whatever you decide, if you are on the path of
ascension, it will serve you well to remain ever steady in unconditional love, while you strive to
hold your mind steady in the light. Then from that place you take the appropriate actions.

Another extreme example would be if confronted with verbal and/or physical abuse. It is
imperative that you leave that situation if help is not immediately sought or if you feel that you
are in any danger on any level while your partner is getting the needed help and doing the
necessary work. However, remaining in unconditional love would apply here as well. I am not
saying that it would be easy; it could be difficult in the extreme. I am saying that unconditional
love is an aspect of God, and you who can hold that within yourselves no matter what are
demonstrating God upon the Earth.

This equally applies to instances where divorce is the only sane choice or the mutual decision or
just the natural unfolding of evolution wherein you and your partner are no longer functioning on
the same wavelength. The latter would be quite understandable if you had come together while in
early college years and one of you opened to spirit and just zipped through several levels of
initiation and the other remained at the same level. There could be several reasons for divorce,
which should not be the first choice, but is often appropriate. However, there is no reason not to
remain unconditionally loving if you are aware that you have the capacity to do so.

My point is not to focus specifically on issues such as divorce. What I am focusing on is the
divine opportunity that arises out of even the most severe situations to remain unconditionally
loving no matter what . This does not mean that we should be unconditionally approving of the
behavior of our partner. It means that even if we part with our partner, we part from a place of
love and release them with an attitude of unconditional love to follow their path. This is not
always the easiest thing to do, but it is the highest, and it is ultimately the most freeing. For then
we are not kept bound to them in anger, but rather remain bound to God in love.

Unconditional Daily Living

For those of us on the conscious path of ascension, it falls to us to set the example and tone of a
Christ/Buddha rather than act out of the dictates of the negative ego. If both of you are on the
conscious path of ascension, then the one who is more centered at a given time can serve as an
anchoring point for the Christ energy to be demonstrated in the relationship. This is one of the
benefits of a partnership between lightworkers. Hopefully at least one of you always will be able
to hold to the light and to unconditional love.

All of us are vulnerable to the pressures and stresses of daily living. Some of us are more
delicately constituted than others, as the energies of transformation are continually at work
within the four-body system. Missing a good night’s sleep, eating too much or too little, getting
stuck in traffic and/or pollution can at times make us quite irritable, vulnerable and perhaps even
a bit testy. It all depends on what one’s personal issues or weak areas are.

Some of us are still prone to a certain amount of jealousy, fear and anger. This is not to say we
should feel free to use these things as excuses and allow our negativity to dominate, for we are
all about the transformation of these energies into the higher Christ/Buddha-like centeredness
and functioning from the frequencies of our monads. What I am saying is, these issues and the
transcendence of them is why we are here in the first place and what we are doing in the process
of ascension. We can work to maintain the attitude of unconditional love as we go through our
daily routines.

One thing we can do in the course of a committed romantic relationship is stay in the moment
and take care not to let resentment build. This brings us once more to the importance of keeping
the lines of communication open and feeling safe and secure enough with one another to
communicate what’s on our minds. What is definitely hazardous to a relationship is to hold
things in for a long time and then blurt them out in a type of volcanic eruption of emotion. If we
stay current with our feelings and with each other, then there will not be the opportunity for this
negative-ego buildup.

If you find that during a period of communication you are getting trapped in relating from the
negative ego’s perspective, stop! Call time out and realign. Perhaps you need to go within
yourself first. You would be better off meditating or journal-writing for a while. If this is the way
you feel, let your partner know. More than likely you are both in need of some alone time, and it
would be good for both of you to take time off, too. When you reconvene your discussion, make
sure you ask to be overlighted by your monads, God and the masters. Be careful that you do not
simply drop the discussion, but make sure that you are coming from as clear a place as possible.
It might be a good idea to tell your partner that it is safe to speak his/her truth and that you want
to be sure it is safe to speak your truth as well. Couples should always feel safe within the group
body of their relationship and know that no matter what problem arises out of daily living, the
love between them remains unconditional.

One thing that goes with the territory of being in relationship is that compromise in certain areas
is inevitable. As harmonious as the two of you might be, undoubtedly there will arise a
difference of opinion in some areas. In actuality, sometimes because of the compatibility factor,
you might both find yourselves drawn to or pulled away from the same aspects of daily living.
For example, both of you might dislike doing the laundry or vacuuming. What is important to
you as a couple is that you learn to compromise, whether in the area of differing opinions or
having the same distaste for specific chores. If neither of you can stand doing the laundry, take
turns. Or if your partner is working harder in other areas, you might just consider doing this as
service to help balance things out.

On the other hand, if one of you likes to fill up the house with furniture, paintings, collectibles or
what-have-you and the other is a minimalist by nature, then it will take some serious
compromising on both your parts. However, if you are serious about being in a committed,
unconditionally loving relationship, then you should be more than willing to do this. The very
word “relationship” contains within it the need to relate, and you are obviously in it to do just
that. So keep the lines of communication open, remain unconditionally loving and work always
to relate from the highest aspect of yourselves, and you should manifest an effective romantic
relationship that will exceed your expectations.

Commitment
It is also important to focus on the committed aspect of your relationship, which means to give
100 percent to the relationship, while still having 100 percent left over for your individual
pursuits and independent needs. Perhaps the percentages don’t tally, but they serve to express the
point. Commitment means not running away the minute you encounter difficulty, but working
problems through and finding the solution at the highest levels of your beings. It means
considering your partner first before taking off with your friends or inviting people into the home
as if you were still single. It also means knowing that you can trust your partner on all levels and
that he or she can find that same level of trust in you. This will take a bit of thought, an
awareness of the partner’s needs and a willingness to be committed enough to work through
issues.

If you are not doing this, why be in a relationship in the first place? What makes a romantic
relationship so wonderful is the richness and support that you bring to each other. It should be
founded on love and remain ever respectful of that love by honoring one another in the
commitment you have made to each other. Therefore, unconditional love and commitment
should always remain in the fore of your consciousness as you function day to day as a couple —
that unique group body of two.

Forgiveness through Acceptance

No discussion on unconditional love and commitment could be complete without including the
element of forgiveness, which is, simply stated, to hold to your attitude that love is unconditional
no matter what. While there are certain instances when an apology is the appropriate thing,
forgiveness should be part and parcel of the expression of both love and commitment.

To love unconditionally means that you are accepting the other person for who he/she is and not
asking your partner to justify his or her preferences or desires. Nor are you asking your partner to
justify his/her choices about food or clothing. Hopefully, you have come together out of true love
and have enough in common with which to keep building your relationship to each other,
yourselves and to God. That there will be some restructuring and reconfiguration in this process
is inevitable, but there must first be acceptance, and this acceptance must be given by each
partner and felt by each.

Without this quality of forgiveness and nonjudgment, there will always be an underlying stress
factor. This is completely unnecessary and inappropriate to any relationship, but especially to
one based upon furthering the process of ascension for yourself and your partner. It would be
like walking on eggshells all the time, which makes it inevitable that one will lose his or her
balance. I have seen too many couples operating this way and have seen the terrible stress it puts
on each of them on a daily basis. This is not the way for an enlightened person to behave! Each
of you must realize that there will be certain fundamental differences between you. So never feel
the need to apologize or seek forgiveness for simply being who you are.
I am not referring here to major areas of contention or to specific infringements wherein an
apology and discussion is the appropriate course of action. I am referring to the basic tendencies
and nature of each of you. Even when you have an abundance of things in common and are
looking at life from primarily the same lens, there will be basic differences. For example, you
might both be doing a lot of work on the physical body, trying to eat as healthily as possible,
taking supplements and doing hatha yoga. One of you makes this a major point of focus,
however, whereas the other one focuses more on other areas.

You might be the one who is tempted to reach into the cookie jar, and maybe you don’t feel the
need to show up at every scheduled yoga class. Perhaps you are even a bit over or under your
ideal weight, but you must have the freedom to function as you do without feeling nervous about
it. On the other hand, you might be the more committed to this health goal and your partner is
sneaking cookies, skipping yoga classes and spending time on excuses for his or her behavior.
Either way, please understand that this kind of behavior in itself can cause far more damage than
eating a cookie or missing a yoga class!

In a romantic relationship built upon the ideal of ascension, unconditional love and commitment,
forgiveness in matters such as the above should not even be an issue. In this case and the many
permutations of cases like this, I am talking about a built-in forgiveness and an acceptance of
who your partner is. Those of us on the path tend to be quite serious at times, and this can, and
often does, serve us well. However, we must not be invasive with our seriousness to the point
that our partners feel the need to apologize for following the path as they see fit. Another way of
looking at it is to not get unduly attached to helping your partner learn his or her lessons, but
rather to focus more on learning the lessons that God and the universe are giving you.

When Forgiveness Is Truly Necessary

There will be times, of course, when an apology is called for and when the one apologized to
must decide whether or not they want to forgive the partner. I quote, “To err is human, to forgive
divine.” My advice is the same, because I believe holding to the Christ level of being is always
of paramount importance. Take the high road whenever you can, for you are after all in the
process of raising up and elevating every level of yourself. I do not mean to be in denial about
the fact that your partner has exhibited a form of behavior that calls for an apology. Most likely
you have felt wounded by his or her actions. I am saying, give your partner an opportunity to
make that apology and provide an environment in which he/she feels safe in doing so.

If your partner is as committed to the personal path of ascension as you are and equally
committed to the relationship and ideals of unconditional love and forgiveness, he/she probably
feels quite badly about having hurt you. This would be especially true if he/she realized he had
let his negative ego lead the way and run a bit rampant, perhaps by lashing out in anger or by
being overly selfish and ignoring your needs in the process. It is hoped that your negative ego
will not get in the way and that you will follow some of the guidelines of communication I have
suggested, allowing your partner to make her apology and allowing your heart to be open enough
to forgive her.

There may be extreme issues, however, that are brought to the fore and need a careful and in-
depth discussion, such as the matter of adultery, which I have attempted to address in the Golden
Key section of this book. Matters of such an extreme nature as abuse should lead to a qualified
therapist’s office and will take a great deal of communication, exploration and work. Issues of
this sort might reveal that the relationship has indeed run its course and should be ended for the
mutual benefit of all concerned. At the very least it will indicate a deeply rooted problem that
deserves the utmost attention. If parting is the called-for solution, then that too should be done
from a place of unconditional love and forgiveness.

The main thing to remember about the art of forgiveness is that in a committed relationship no
one should ever feel the need to walk on eggshells lest he be called to judgment by his partner.
We all have our little quirks, our preferences, our unique ways of functioning, and as long as the
lines of communication are kept open, each must be allowed to follow her own personal path
through her daily paces and through the path of ascension as well. There should never be the
need to feel guilty or to apologize for simply being who you are.

On the other hand, since you are now functioning in the group body of relationship, you should
keep in mind the areas where compromise and mutual decisions are appropriate and remain open
and sensitive to your partner’s needs. If you err in this regard, have the courage and compassion
to make the needed apology. If you feel that you are the one who has been hurt, tap into the
nature of compassion, acknowledging your partner’s courage and honesty in his or her ability
and willingness to ask for forgiveness, and by all means forgive him, even as you would want to
be forgiven.

To err is human, and mistakes are bound to occur within every relationship, no matter how
focused you are on the process of ascension or how committed to each other and to the light you
are. People get caught in their own needs, and none of us is perfect or we would not be here in
the first place. Yet to forgive is divine. I urge each of you to stay ever more open to that divine
attribute within you and to actualize it to the best of your ability within the boundaries of your
relationship.

There is one additional facet to be addressed when speaking of forgiveness, and that is the ability
to forgive oneself . If we do not allow ourselves to make mistakes, learn the needed lesson and
move on from there, we are creating a stagnant pool of guilt. We will become trapped in the
murky waters of self-flagellation. This serves neither our partners nor ourselves, and it certainly
does not honor the divine being we all are. To stay stuck in guilt is to stay stuck in false
negative-ego programming. To make mistakes, then ask oneself just what the needed lesson was,
learn the lesson and move on, is to be truly manifesting the process of ascension.

Unfortunately, most of us have been well trained in hanging onto guilt and not trained in the art
of self-forgiveness. Therefore, please use the tools I have provided, along with any other
techniques that work for you, and lift yourself above those murky waters of entrapment. What
applies to romantic relationships likewise applies to the relationship we have with ourselves.

Remember that we are each here to grow, and mistakes are part of this process. So use the law of
unconditional love and forgiveness when dealing with yourself. This is often harder to do in
relation to oneself than to another, as the messages of blame and guilt have all too often been
implanted within you from the time you were born. If this is an area that needs a lot of work, use
the tools provided and do the work. We must clear ourselves of shame and guilt and live in an
attitude of self-forgiveness in order to achieve this. We are children of God, meant to learn the
lessons of our mistakes, but never to carry the guilt of them around. We are therefore guiltless,
joyful and freely living in the light of divine forgiveness. We thus forgive ourselves and live in
the peace of unconditional love, for it is meant that we live in freedom and joy.
4
Competition and the Path of Ascension
Doing Our Personal Best
The urge to move forward and better our conditions our relationships and ourselves in general is
intrinsic to our nature as human and divine beings. Djwhal Khul states in the Alice Bailey books
that “all moves onwards and upwards.” This pertains to humanity, to the ascended masters and to
the cosmos as a whole. This, then, is a basic impulse within all of us, and it is the very force that
moves evolution forward. Therefore, doing one’s personal best at all levels of one’s being is
natural and very important. Doing this in a noncompetitive way with one’s partner often proves
quite another matter. But it is important never to compete spiritually, financially, in the career
arena or in any other area.

Your intent should be to keep growing, keep evolving and keep propelling yourself forward upon
the pathway of ascension. This is between you and God alone. It is a matter of doing your
personal soul/monadic best to move into a deeper unity with self and God, and this remains a
private thing between you and God at a very deep level. Hopefully, this can also be shared and
supported between you and your mate.

It is in the silent recess of our divine communion that God is seen and touched and known. It is
in the quietude of meditation that we embrace the otherwise unembraceable, hear the voice of the
silence, know the unknowable and dance within the stillness. All this is meant to be shared, for it
is in these very places that the One is known as the many. Yet the journey is a very private one in
the ultimate sense, and what we need concern ourselves with is making that journey in as pure
and clear a manner as possible. The path to God is not a race or a competition. It is a journey that
we must each make in solitude. Paradoxically, it is also a journey that we make with the entire
human race wherein we are all advanced by the advancing of each of us, for indeed we are all
inextricably bound together.

Spiritual Support vs. Spiritual Competition

All too often the element of spiritual competition enters into a relationship between lightworkers.
This does not serve to accelerate the ascension process or the quality of the relationship, and it is
best to eliminate even the potential for this to occur. The easiest way to do this is to make sure to
focus on the fact that by virtue of being in a committed romantic relationship, you have formed a
unique group body. Your mutual ascension process is therefore deeply and uniquely connected.
When one makes progress, the group body makes progress. When one taps into a greater light or
love quotient, it becomes available to the whole. On a larger scale, this applies to the acceleration
of humankind as a whole. Yet it applies most directly in the group body of the couple.
If one of you has had a particularly rewarding day at the workplace, there is a feeling of deep
fulfillment that comes from doing your work successfully and reaching new levels. This might
leave you with a feeling of overflowing joy and accomplishment, so much so that it cannot be
contained. You then find yourself buying your partner flowers or showering him/her with extra
affection or perhaps taking her out to dinner to celebrate. The point is that joy and fulfillment
want to be shared and will almost always spill over into the relationship. What has uplifted one
will ultimately bring upliftment to the two of you together.

This is also the case with your individual spiritual achievements. When one of you finds that you
have entered into a higher, more love-filled place of spiritual beingness, that joy and love will
express by outpouring to both of you. Your partner can be looked at in terms of the ascension
buddy system I spoke about in Beyond Ascension . Why then should there ever be any
competition in this sacred area in which all are indeed united? It is only due to faulty thinking, to
hanging on to a belief system that has no basis in reality.

Fame and Recognition in the Spiritual Arena

If one of you is more publicly recognized as a spiritual teacher because of the manner in which
you are called to express your wisdom and love, I caution you both to pay attention, striving to
keep any sense of competition from creeping into your relationship. One of you simply has a
more public mission than the other, and so might be recognized as a well-known channeler,
writer, speaker, painter, singer and so on. This is not better than the work that the other one is
doing; it is simply a different kind of work. It is vitally important that both of you keep
remembering this so that you can remain mutually supportive and not competitive.

Competition has no place whatsoever on the spiritual path and is in fact diametrically opposed to
it. How can one part of the whole compete with any other part of the whole? It cannot, for how
can God compete with God? However, the negative ego can and often does compete with
another person’s negative ego. If you are a couple on the ascension path, please connect daily
with each other’s monads as well as your own, to make sure you are functioning from that
wondrous level of unity that is God.

Also realize that one of the reasons you are functioning as a couple is more than likely so that the
more public one of you has the support and grounding of the other in order to do your work.
From the monadic point of view, competition simply does not come into the picture. Therefore, it
becomes even more imperative in such a situation to commune daily with each other’s monads
as well as with your own, so that you stay steady in the light and love and purpose of your divine
I Am Presence.

From this point of view it will then become apparent that it is as important for the more publicly
known lightworker to support his/her behind-the-scenes partner as it is the reverse. You are both
a vital and integral part of the divine plan manifesting from within your relationship — perhaps
even because of your relationship. Keep honoring each other in the unique roles you are playing,
for it is the group body of two that has brought forth the functioning of the whole. Bear in mind
that in saying this, I am not implying that each of you individually would not have brought to
fruition the particular part that destiny would have you play. I am simply bringing to your
attention that you have done this as a group unit and that you would do well to acknowledge that
fact and give each other the proper honor and loving respect for the roles each of you plays.

There might have been a hundred different pathways you could have followed in becoming a
famous lecturer, for example. But the fact is that you have done it with the help and support of
your mate, and he or she should be honored for this. Conversely, it may have been your divine
destiny, through silent meditation, to bring forth enough love and light to facilitate the outer
manifestations of these qualities upon the Earth. But by virtue of being in relationship with your
mate, he or she has drunk of the divine nectar you have brought through in silence, and your
partner is out there sharing with the world what you have brought into the relationship. So your
partner needs to be honored and supported for that role.

Fame and public recognition belong to the personality, not to the soul/monad. These higher
aspects of you care only that the work gets done and that the divine plan is enacted to its fullest
potential. To those lightworkers who find themselves with half of the group body gaining more
recognition than the other half, remember that it is only the soul/monad fulfilling its highest
calling and actualizing its mission. Keep ever centered in your I Am Presence and you will both
see that what one of you is doing, both of you have succeeded in bringing about. For it is the will
of your highest selves that this be so. Stay centered in the divine within, and it will follow that
you will act in accordance with the energies of unconditional light and love, wholeness and
support.

Success in the Marketplace

In the third-dimensional world, money and power are often seen as two parts of the same whole.
It is said that those who hold the purse strings are in control. Unfortunately, this is the case more
often than not. “Money is power” is another common phrase, and this has unfortunately been the
case in our world for quite some time.

In the system that we hopefully are moving out of, the major breadwinner was generally the
person in control. We now live in a time when the cosmic energies are calling for change, and we
are seeing more and more women holding prominent roles in the workplace. However, what is
not meant to happen is that the same patterns continue with only the roles reversing. What is
hoped for is a society of equality wherein each person fulfills his/her part of the plan and is
honored for that.

As lightworkers, we are being called to bring forth the new energies of transformation into
manifestation. But what happens when one of the partners of a relationship suddenly receives
vast sums of money for fulfilling his/her mission? For example, say your spouse has been a
loving, supportive homemaker while taking acting classes and getting an occasional bit part now
and then, when suddenly she is cast in a TV series or a big-budget movie. Suddenly she is
bringing in large sums of money, which now seem to dwarf the amount of money you have been
bringing in over a period of many years. What most likely will happen is that patterns that were
in effect before the shift will continue. So if you are presently equating money with the wielding
of power and don’t want that attitude to rend you asunder, give up that attitude now !

We are each valuable because we simply are. We are each truly in our power when we have
connected with our inner power. You don’t need to have large sums of money in order to own
your personal power. You do need to connect with Source and clear the negative ego of all
attributes that seemingly keep you separate from Source. Hold the mind steady in the light and
merge your heart with the heart of the universe. Own your personal power and see all humanity
through the lens of unity. This is the way to bring about the change that is so needed upon our
world.

As things stand now, it is the wealthy who control our society, and thus we have a world
misaligned and crying out for change. However, as the saying goes, “To travel far, we must
begin near.” What is nearer to us than where we currently are? And where is there a more perfect
place to express the changing of values than from inside out, first with oneself and then within
the unique group body that a relationship creates?

Let us take the opportunity that being in a relationship affords us and conduct ourselves as equals
within that relationship regardless who has more earning capacity. If lightworkers all over the
world were truly to implement this in their personal lives and relationships, the effect would
ripple outward and little streams would join with other little streams until a vast ocean of values
based on love would wash away the old values. We need to realize that earning money is just
something we are a bit more adept at than our partner and recognize the areas in which our
partner is more adept than we are. When we recognize that it is by the joint efforts and talents of
each other that the partnership finds its very existence, we will be well on the way toward
changing the world.

So what if our partner suddenly becomes a financial gold mine? So much the better for the
whole! What if we suddenly find our own work in high demand in the marketplace, bringing in
vast sums of money? All the better for the both of us, but we must be sure to stay aligned to spirit
and keep our relationship to self and God in proper perspective. True power is inner power. It is
the ability to stay focused and centered no matter which way the tides of fortune blow.

We must remember that; we must hold fast to our truths and keep very close guard that the
negative ego does not reign supreme, falsely thinking and acting as if money is power. So let us
stay aligned with our monads and remember to live from our I Am Presence and our spiritual
value systems. For some of us this might mean making minor adjustments, and for others, major
ones.

Learn to view your relationship as a mini world, which it is, and then structure your world from
the highest possible vantage point. This means that whoever is the more successful in the
marketplace is simply fulfilling part of the plan. There is no competition involved and no
wielding of power over the other. Together you form one whole, each adding to that whole by
the actualizing of your particular gifts to your fullest capacity.

Remember the equality that exists among all of humanity when viewed through the lens of the
monad and the vantage point of God, and act in accordance with this vision. If each of us would
look to see where we are with this issue and use every available tool to elevate ourselves to the
place where we are demonstrating true inner power, unconditional love and equality, the world
would eventually have no choice but to yield to these higher visions. Meanwhile our
relationships will grow to a higher, purer, more equal and supportive level, and couples will
know an ease that could not be known when buying into the negative ego’s concept of money-
equals-power. Remember the biblical adage, “What does it profit you if you gain the whole
world but lose your own soul?” [Mark 8:36].

We must first and always look to our own relationships and ourselves and bring that into the
light of God. In doing this, we will further our own personal and group ascension process. By
living and demonstrating this high level of beingness and behavior, our relationships to
ourselves, to God and to one another will be all the better.

Competition between Couples in the Same Line of Work

Often people connect because they have a major point of common interest. This often happens in
the area of careers. It is not uncommon to find a marriage between two doctors, two lawyers, two
artists, two business people and so forth. This has the potential of bringing a deep and wonderful
level of sharing into the relationship, as the partners are speaking a common language and
dealing with shared interests, responsibilities and so forth. But this type of relationship also holds
the danger of one or both partners feeling in competition with the other, which is most
destructive and painful in a relationship.

Couples in such a situation must take extra care to realize that while fulfilling similar missions,
they have their own unique and individual lessons to learn and contributions to make. This is true
for all of us, and it is a basic fact that our life situations will provide us with the teachings and
lessons that we most need. It doesn’t matter how similar our work is to that of our partner, it is
still our work with all its joys, lessons, tests and opportunities. It therefore becomes imperative,
for example, that two actors or two doctors who are joined in a committed romantic relationship
do not allow themselves to develop an attitude of competition. They must keep affirming the fact
that they are souls/monads upon the path of evolution and ascension, following their own
particular calling.

In the way they are set up in our society, some fields have a high level of competition.
Professions in which this occupational hazard is most prevalent include acting, the performing
arts and professional sports. It is interesting to note that some actor/actress couples can really go
at it with their negative egos in a state of constant competition with their partners, when one of
them is a petite blond woman and the other a tall strapping man! There is no way in the world
that they can be up for the same role!

Nevertheless, the field itself has competition at its very foundation, and unless the couple takes
great care to keep the relationship on a spiritual level and to function as two souls/monads, they
will be susceptible to this trap.

Other fields can be breeding grounds of competition as well. Two doctors, two attorneys, two
people functioning in the business world can easily fall into the trap of negative-ego competition,
feeling superior if they are earning more money, acquiring more clients, achieving more fame,
working for a larger company and so forth. The same point holds true for any and all of us in this
situation.

We must take the time to put God first, to connect with our monads and to call into
consciousness the fact that our path is uniquely ours. What we are meant to learn from
participating in a certain line of work is not necessarily the same as what our partner is meant to
learn. It might be your divine destiny to learn the attribute of humility and service, whereas your
partner’s divine calling is to step into the spotlight and catalyze great changes within the same
profession.

If you are coming from the judgments of the negative ego, the effects of such a situation can be
quite inharmonious and painful. But if you are coming from the perspective of the monad and are
aligned with your work, you can be open to learning the necessary lessons and doing your work
to your utmost potential. You will then find in your partner a unique support system, as he or she
is involved in the same kind of work, speaks the same language, and is in a position to
understand certain aspects of what you are going through that only an insider could possibly
know. You proceed by honoring both the similarities and the differences that you share, and you
know that each of you is fulfilling your own missions and doing the best you can in whatever
situation presents itself to you.

Take a moment to still your mind, emotions and physical body. Know and invite your monad to
anchor itself into all of your four lower bodies so that you become one integrated whole. Then if
possible, do this jointly with your partner. Surrender and let go of all need to compete with your
mate. State clearly your intention to function in cooperation with your monads. Take a unifying
breath and let this henceforth be the way you live — mutually cooperative in noncompetitive
support.

Always remember, you are working for God and not for the ego-self. By living this way, another
person’s success — your partner’s or anyone else’s — is your success, for your true identity is
God, as is each person’s. Competition is also closely related to comparing. Never compare
yourself with others, but rather compare yourself only with yourself. In this way you will always
be following the beat of your own drummer, and you will feel good about yourself and your
continuing steady progress!
5
Our Sexual Selves
Sexuality is a fact of nature, a basic core of the human structure. However, it is not one that
functions simply through the physical vehicle. While sex is a physical act, it also involves the
emotional, the mental and, ultimately, the spiritual aspects of one’s being. When sexuality is
fully expressed, a couple is sharing and communing deeply on several levels of intimacy at the
same time. In its highest form, sexuality encompasses all four lower bodies as well as accesses
energies from the highest level of self.

The physical level, being the most obvious, will be discussed first. However, I do ask the reader
to bear in mind that in looking at the levels of sexuality, we are fragmenting that which in truth is
not fragmented but part of a greater whole. Nevertheless, let us look at sexuality from the purely
physical aspect. For each of us it operates as a physical release. In the male this is highly
physicalized in the ejaculation of semen. The woman likewise releases some of her own fluids,
but not to the extent that a man does.

Because of this physical release, many men want to roll over and fall asleep after the act. Women
in general want to cuddle and hug. For the female of the species it is more difficult to experience
sex on a purely physical level. Yet both men and women do this when they masturbate, it seems,
whereby a basic physical need is given its due without a partner. This most assuredly is a
physical act, but not entirely.

Almost always some sort of fantasy accompanies the act of masturbation, and we find that,
depending on the needs of the individual and his or her level on the ladder of evolution or the
particular need at the moment, the fantasy can be physical, emotional or mental in nature.
However, on one level or another some thought and/or feeling process will be involved.

Different people have different sexual needs, but to look at this purely through a physical lens is
incomplete. For example, you may come across the man who needs to “have it” at least once a
day. While it is true that his body is producing more semen at a quicker rate than most, we must
wonder why. There is always a reason, a cause behind every effect. Perhaps in his case it is
because this allows him to release emotions that he would otherwise keep buried but which he
feels safe to release in a physical manner through sex. Perhaps it is because this enables him to
find a willing partner, a girl in every port, so to speak, and this feeds his otherwise low opinion
of himself.

A woman, on the other hand, might feel herself sexually over-charged and find herself in the
lower world of pornography or prostitution. This, however, can come out of various other needs.
Perhaps she feels that the only way to get affection is by providing sex. Perhaps it gives her a
sense of power over men, which her personality seems to need because she has previously been
put down, controlled and manipulated by men. Perhaps it is simply a way to earn money, which
would keep it in the realm of physical survival but not necessarily in the realm of sex.

Although sexuality is one of the most physical expressions between two people, it is limiting to
look at it purely from a physical standpoint. Yet there is that phenomenon of chemistry so often
spoken of where two people find themselves utterly attracted to and desirous of each other. There
are indeed certain subtle physical energies at play in these cases. However, there is a mystery to
this chemistry, because while certain people find an immediate physical attraction, another
person cannot fathom what the attraction is. And therein lies the rub!

It is not so much in the seeing, although physical attraction and preferences certainly have this
appeal, but something that is felt between the two. That is why we often can see a gorgeous
being and, even while mentally acknowledging their extreme good looks, we do not feel that
special attraction. The saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” is nowhere truer than in the
sexual arena. However, it is not solely through the physical eye that beauty is beheld.

Sometimes it is a slow-burning fire that creates the greatest heat, as is evidenced in those cases
where friends find themselves acknowledging sexual desire for one another that might end in
marriage. It is not that the physical potential was not there from the outset, but simply that they
came together first as friends. In actuality, true friendship is the best of all foundations upon
which to build an enduring romantic relationship. Then you know that you are not acting out of
some impulsive feeling that offers immediate gratification. You have experienced each other on
the deeper levels of your being first and have the trust and grounding from which your sexuality
is free to come to the fore.

For the reader’s edification, the Hierarchy’s view on masturbation is that it is perfectly natural. It
takes preference over coupling with an inappropriate partner, either for a one-night stand or
longer periods of time. In such an instance, the sharing of fluids between the two of you would
then build an etheric bridge to the other that you do not want. So we must all be very careful
about having so-called casual sex.

Even when you are in a harmonious relationship, masturbation is perfectly fine. This is an issue
that has fallen prey to taboos and false beliefs, primarily out of a need for control on the part of
traditional religious orders, parents and others. Do not be afraid of your own body or of being
intimate with it. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. The only thing I would guide against
is doing this to excess. I would guide against excess in all areas of sexuality, specifically if you
are on the path of ascension. You do not want to deplete your energies by constant sexual
release. However, masturbation has its place in the scheme of things, as does sexual intimacy
with your partner.

The Emotional Level

Emotions are tied to the physical expression of sexuality. As we have seen, it is almost
impossible to look at the physical level of sex without taking the emotional level into
consideration. Many people, mostly women (though this can be true of both sexes), will often
choose to have sex in order to bond and receive the stroking and loving they crave. Sometimes it
is not sex that is desired at a particular time, but rather warm touching and affection. If you are in
a committed relationship, it is hoped that you feel safe and secure enough to ask for cuddling or a
hug and an affectionate attitude from your partner.

However, if it is both sex and affection you are in need of, be honest enough to say so. More
often than not your partner will be more than willing to comply. He or she simply needs to know.
If you are the partner, however, and find yourself focused in other areas, it is hoped that you will
have the sensitivity to communicate this to your mate. Take the time to help your partner feel
loved. Tell him or her that as soon as you shift from the space you are in, you can plan a time
when you both feel relaxed enough for a wonderful sexual encounter and that they and their
needs are by no means being ignored. It was likely connecting with you that was their primary
need, and you have given them that. Sex should not be ignored in the above example, nor should
it be forced. As long as your partner feels wanted by you and feels your loving, caring affection,
your partner will be happy to wait until both of you can fully enjoy the experience.

The Mental Level

The mental level also plays a key part in the expression of sexuality. Sex is a deep and intimate
bonding between two people and, more often than not, you want to be at a mental level similar to
that of your partner, particularly in a committed relationship. This is not to suggest that you see
things exactly the same, but true bonding and a lasting relationship generally occur between
people who are resonating on a similar mental level.

This might not be quite so applicable when talking about a fling or a one-night stand. In these
cases, it is more the physical (attractive looks, body chemistry) and the emotional needs that
come into play. But I have seen, time and again, marriages and lasting relationships occurring
between people of similar mental development. When coupling is attempted between people who
have a great chasm between their levels of mental development, the relationship will often self-
terminate due to lack of communication and bonding on this most important level of one’s being.

Another aspect of sexuality on the mental level is the use of sexual fantasy. At times fantasy can
be an extremely helpful tool to keep one’s sexual energies flowing. Lovers often fantasize about
one another while masturbating, and this further connects them in the mental realm. It also keeps
the focus remaining on the relationship. It is equally all right to allow other sexual images into
your mental field during sex, for to do so often acts as an aid to one’s release. But there is some
caution that must be used in this area. For example, if you are using a particular fantasy figure
over and over again, this can form an imprint on your mental field that is inappropriate for that
person as well as yourself. By the same process, if you are a public figure whom others find
extremely attractive and are thus used over and over again in their personal fantasies, a mental
bridge will be built between you and them. Then you will find yourself constantly bombarded by
sexual thoughts coming at you from all directions.

I would not advise anyone on the path of ascension to pose nude or partly nude, thereby
deliberately attracting this kind of attention. If you have done this at one point or another in your
life, I would strongly advise you to put up shields (with the help of the masters) to protect you
from such bombardments. It is a good idea for anyone with public exposure to do this as a
safeguard from unwanted fantasy pictures coming into their auric field through the thought forms
of those who find them especially attractive.
If you are the fantasizer, again I say, walk the middle path. Fantasizing can be a helpful tool, but
not to the point of obsession or to the detriment of the one fantasized about. Regarding the use of
public figures, you may even state before you begin your fantasy that this is a fantasy, and you
want to keep it contained within your own auric and mental field. Make sure that you also
request that your sexual fantasy will never hurt or impinge upon anyone in any fashion. These
precautions would solve many difficulties encountered through the use of fantasy.

Ideally, your fantasy would be of a more general nature, with you or your partner at the center,
and it would not involve the constant invocation of a specific person who is vulnerable to your
thought form. It is best to limit your sexual thoughts and fantasies to your partner, with whom a
bond already has been formed by joint agreement. This would be the ideal. But it is important to
have the ideal set before you so that you are clear in which direction to move if you so choose.
There are no hard and fast rules regarding this, save that of harmlessness.

When discussing thought forms and the mental realm, one must look at some of the ways this
can and does manifest on the Earth. One of the oldest and most negative forms can be seen in the
use of pornography, child pornography heading the list. Just about everyone, except for those
responsible, would agree that child pornography is just about as low as one can go, being a form
of child abuse. However, pornography itself, including video tapes, X-rated films and magazines
that function in that capacity, do naught to elevate the sexual nature of humanity, but only debase
it.

Immediately apparent is that rather than integrating the person as a whole, pornography serves to
separate individual sexual parts, objectifying the person, whether male or female, and in the
process it totally dehumanizes them. We have all indulged in this activity and there is no
judgment in this, but in the process of initiation and ascension, there is the movement from what
might be called lower-self sexuality to higher-self sexuality, and it is that we are speaking of
here.

This is not to be confused with the tasteful portrayals in art or photography that seek to show the
beauty of the human form. I am addressing pornography itself. Realize that this is a process and
does not necessarily happen all in one day. Sexuality is an enormously powerful force, and God
and the inner-plane masters are fully aware of this. Strive for the ideal, but do not be hard on
yourself in the process. All of life, and indeed the path of ascension, is a process. Looked at
through that lens, your sexuality is simply another facet of yourself in the process of
transformation.

Couples will often play out consensual bondage fantasies in an atmosphere of complete safety
and harmlessness. This type of sexual play, from the masters’ perspective, is all right as long as
both partners feel safe at all times and it is done in utter harmlessness and playfulness. On the
other hand, one must be aware of the harm that can occur through such practices as sado-
masochism, serious nonconsensual bondage and indeed any form of sexuality that causes pain to
another person. If this is something that attracts you, please realize that you have some
reprogramming work to do in this area.

These practices are, in essence, giving the negative-ego free rein to act out issues that are in dire
need of addressing and correcting. Many people are still so entrapped by the functioning of their
negative egos that sometimes what is entirely off base from the higher, more integrated
viewpoint becomes common practice, and because it is common we somehow accept it as all
right. This simply is not so when confronting issues such as those mentioned above.

If you notice any of these tendencies within yourself, understand that this is a part of you letting
yourself know that it is in need of deep and intensive healing. Tell yourself that you forgive
yourself for acting out your pain in such an inappropriate manner, then seek the aid of a qualified
therapist in order to work through the underlying issues that caused this behavior in the first
place. Most of all, do not judge yourself, but do what is needed to make the appropriate
attitudinal and emotional corrections.

Please know that there is no judgment in presenting these matters as I have done. There is,
however, a clear and direct call to use your discernment and know that these extreme behaviors
are indicative of parts of yourself that are in great need of help and adjustment and healing.
Therefore, I ask only that you are open to looking at these issues from the viewpoint of the
higher self, and then doing all within your power to heal the wounds that have created these
behavior patterns within yourself.

The Spiritual Level

For those upon the path of ascension, the depth and level of intimacy during sex can be brought
to the most sublime heights. You are more fully integrated within your four lower bodies as well
as the higher bodies, so you are more complete within yourself and have more to bring to the
sexual union. You are also most likely to use discretion in regard to who you relate to sexually,
for you are aware of the bonding factor and the sacredness of the sharing of fluids. Last, you are
bringing in the level of soul and/or monad and, therefore, God.

You might even be using certain sexual encounters with your mate as a means to raising your
energies in the practice of tantra yoga. For you, sex is an integrated act between integrated
people with full and complete awareness that you are bringing the emotional, mental and
spiritual bodies into the act as well as the physical. The union between two people at this level
offers much, and it is recognized to be the very special and sacred coming together that it truly is.
Sex then involves the total being and traverses the realms from the pleasurable physical orgasm
to that of a joint melding with monad and God. Count yourself lucky indeed when both you and
your partner are coming from this vantage point, for then sex has the potential to be one of the
most sacred, beautiful and enjoyable experiences that a couple can share.

Pleasing Your Partner

There are two people involved in whatever level of sexuality you are expressing, except in the
case of masturbation. Whether sex is of a more physical/emotional nature or brings in the levels
of the monad between two ascension-oriented people, there is always the factor of physical
pleasure to consider, and that means both giving and receiving.

Everyone’s body rhythms are different. Certainly there is a clear differentiation between the
rhythms of a man and a woman. The woman is usually slower to climax. Each woman responds
to touch differently, as does each man. Partners in sex have the same responsibility to
communicate in this area as in other areas. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what works for
you and to ask for what you want.

The bedroom is one of the key places where the selfish/selfless balance needs to come into
expression. Since everyone’s body works differently, two people in a romantic relationship must
become familiar with the way their partner’s body works. If this is not done, you will have a
buildup of frustration that will inevitably find its outlet in inappropriate outbursts rather than the
flow of pleasure meant to occur when each partner knows the needs and desires of the other and
is willing to meet them. I am not speaking here about sexual abnormalities, but about true and
honest sexual communication so that both partners are equally satisfied. Those who are drawn to
the more off-beat expressions of sex will ultimately find each other and work it out themselves.

Those of us who function under the more normal sexual modes, however, which definitely
includes experimentation, are usually more reticent about expressing what works for us. This
should be worked through by the couple so that each is fully satisfied and neither is doing
anything that goes against the grain. Because it so often takes a woman longer to reach the point
of climax than it does the man, if she feels he is impatient or has “checked out,” she will never
climax. If, however, he remains fully present, she can help bring herself to climax in the loving
and supportive presence of her partner, and that is okay.

What is not okay is to feel emotionally abandoned by your partner. There may be cases where
the man takes longer to achieve orgasm than the woman. It then is left to the woman to remain
sensitive to her partner’s needs so that both are satisfied. It is important that both of you are fully
present and willing to communicate your needs and to have your partner’s needs be
communicated to you in return. In this way sex can be a most wonderfully satisfying and
bonding experience.

Sex and Fun

I feel the need to inject here a few words about the fun element of sexual union. Taking into
consideration all that has been said in regard to pleasing your partner and the many levels of sex,
it must be understood that sexual union can also be a time of lightness and play. One need not
approach it with seriousness. Sometimes both partners need to release through both sex and
laughter. So let some of your sexual encounters be playful ones. Playfulness is as much a part of
sex as is affection and bonding. Just remember to respect your partner’s needs at all times. As
long as you both do this, you will both be satisfied and sexual bonding will be a wonderful
experience for you both.

Soul Passion and the Lightworker

During various stages of the ascension process it might be appropriate to cut back on sexual
expression or even to live the life of the celibate. Thus sex might take a back seat to the
activation and utilization of energy for purposes other than sex. This is by no means a hard and
fast rule, although almost all initiates will pass through this phase during a certain period of their
growth. It might be that the needed adjustments were made in a previous life as a disciple, so this
might not be applicable to the current life of the initiate. Or it might be that one feels pulled to
the path of celibacy for a variety of reasons and so chooses to follow that path. This by no means
infers that this path is right for everyone. Nor does it mean that those following celibacy during a
particular phase on the path must stay with that choice throughout the incarnation.

The question then arises for many lightworkers as to what the appropriate behavior in the sexual
area is. Quite often we have put our own taboos upon ourselves by thinking of the physical
vehicle as separate from the whole or from God, and we have become quite confused in the area
of our own sexuality. Add to this the conditioning factor of our particular upbringing, our
religious backgrounds and our desire to merge with God, and we often become quite inhibited in
the area of our own sexuality. If this is the case, work must be done to release limiting
programming and beliefs. Certainly, promiscuity and all forms of pornography should be
avoided, but where it comes to love in our romantic relationship with our partner, we should
allow ourselves to be totally free and uninhibited. There are very few rules regarding sex, save
these: harmlessness, keeping your partner’s needs in the fore, mutual respect and mutual
communication.

Passion is a natural and normal part of the expression of both love and sexuality, and there is
nothing antispiritual in this. Our goal is to integrate the bodies so that they can function as a
unified whole. It is not our goal to deny any of our four bodies. There is a raw sexual passion that
is often equated with animal passion, and sometimes lightworkers fear these feelings rising from
within. However, as long as these feelings are not cut off from the feelings of love, mutual
respect, consideration and tenderness, there is really nothing at all to fear in the expression of this
depth of passion between you and your mate.

I use the words “raw animal passion” to express the deeper and more intense passions of the
human being. I am not here referring to degrading, lust-filled and debasing passion. I am stating
that two people in a loving, committed relationship need not fear exploring the depths of their
love through a passionate sexual union. Sexual intimacy, in fact, serves as one of the great
bonding factors between couples, and lightworkers are no exception. Follow the path that seems
most appropriate at a given time, but do not fear the special intimacy of romantic passion,
whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.

In this area, as in all others, the ideal is that of integration and completion. There are times when
we are more emotionally focused in the sharing of tender words and poetry or listening to
beautiful music. There are times when we are more mentally focused, as when, for example, we
put our heads together to find a solution to a financial situation. There are other times when we
are more spiritually focused, such as during prayer or meditation. There are likewise times when
we are more physically focused such as during the time of lovemaking.

Let the disciple, initiate or, for that matter, the incarnate ascended being have the freedom to
express the full range of their love in this manner, with all of the passion and excitement that
goes into sexual union. To explore the full range of passions, feelings and physicality is most
appropriate; why else would you be in a romantic relationship in the first place?

Yet I must address the fact again that at a certain stage during certain phases, you might feel that
sex is not for you and that living the life of a celibate is. This can and often does occur between
committed couples, as well as single people, at various points on their path. The main thing to
keep in mind is that what you do should come from within your own being, not from someone
saying this or that, or that a given behavior is correct and appropriate. For instance, such blanket
statements as “Sexuality must be transcended by all upon the path of ascension” are simply not
true. If you remain open and honest with yourself and stay in communication with your partner,
the answers to your many questions will most assuredly come from within.

I would, however, urge you to reach a mutually satisfying agreement with your partner before
suddenly embarking upon the path of the celibate or going from the sexually elusive or
nonphysically expressive mode to that of the passionate lover. Whenever you feel the need for a
major shift, it is only fair and right that you communicate with your partner and get his or her
feedback. It is important to reach some sort of consensus before making any major changes in
the expression of your sexuality and in other areas of your lives together.

We all need to honor where we are at a given point on our paths and to openly and honestly
communicate that with our partners. Sex is made sacred or profane by what is in our hearts. As
long as we keep our hearts aligned and open to the heart of love itself, there is no reason to deny
ourselves the pleasures and wonders of a fulfilling and complete romantic relationship, including
passion and intense lovemaking (unless we so choose). There is no right or wrong in this regard,
only the honoring of where we are at a given point in our journey.

As long as we know we are truly honoring ourselves, our partners and God, our actions will take
the shape and form of that honoring, be it in an intensely passionate bonding in lovemaking,
through the life of the celibate or indeed anything that falls in between. In sex, as in all else, we
want to hold to our truth and stay centered in light and love.

Always remember that the spiritual path is the path of integration and balance. One of the
wondrous aspects of the spiritual path is that you can have the best of both worlds. Being
spiritual or ascended does not mean the rejection of Earth life. Ascension is descension of the
soul and monad fully into the physical vehicle and into all three lower bodies to bring heaven to
Earth. Ascension is fully embracing earthly living from the perspective of the soul and monad.
The divine Plan is to manifest God consciousness fully into physically incarnated masters. In
conclusion, enjoy romance and sexuality as one God being to another. Share love, passion, joy
and pleasure for the greatest good of all concerned.
6
The Differing Elevator Syndrome
Being on the Path of Ascension When Your Partner Is Not
All of humanity is on the path of ascension. As the forces of evolution carry us onward and
upward, all are a part of this divine truth. However, there is a vast difference between those who
are consciously on the path of ascension and those who are not. We who are consciously
traversing the realms of spirit are actually carrying different energies within our four lower
bodies and bringing through the sublime energies of the soul/monadic realms. Thus we are
functioning at quite a different frequency than those who are not engaged in this process. So it
follows that our needs and desires change. God-realization becomes our very reason for being.

We are living at a time when the energies of enlightenment and the opportunity for ascension are
accelerated in a way that has never been experienced on Earth before. The thrust and force of
change is so much upon us that the very forces of the heavens are seeking out any and all who
feel the seeds of spirituality sprouting and taking root at this time. These seeds are growing and
ripening at lightning speed. The ascended masters on the inner plane are drawing ever nearer to
humanity, and all of us who find resonance with the song of spirit find ourselves drawing closer
to the masters, God and our own souls and monads.

Thus a relationship that would have plodded along at a more comfortable pace before is now
stirred up by the fact that one of the partners is responding with the full force of his or her being
to the spiritual stimulation now occurring in the world. The other partner might not be quite so
ripe for change and might not understand what is going on. If you find yourself seeking a
spiritual path alone within a relationship, you are most likely the one who has sought out this
book. I want to assure you that you are not alone, for this is a situation that many lightworkers
face at this time.

What the eventual outcome of such a relationship will be varies with the couple and the
adjustments that each person is willing to make within the relationship. It is important to hold a
great deal of compassion for both yourself and your partner as you explore the issues involved. If
you have held an attitude of judgment toward your partner who seems less interested in matters
of the spirit, it is crucial that you release that judgment now. The path of ascension is not one of
judgment but of discernment, so it is with a discriminating eye that we shall proceed.

Being on the path of ascension when your partner is not is difficult, and at times it can be very
frustrating and unfulfilling. It can leave you with a feeling of being alone in a crowd of two. If
you have suddenly awakened to vast levels of being within yourself and in the blink of an eye,
have seemingly fallen out of step with your given group of friends, you may be feeling quite
lonely and confused. This is obviously a difficult place to be, but it can be quite difficult for your
partner as well. If you have suddenly acquired a whole new group of like-minded friends, your
partner might be feeling very lonely and confused.

Understand that although you are being called to follow a difficult path, it is one well worth any
inconvenience that life throws your way. Every challenge is a lesson to be learned to help further
your path of ascension into the light, and your relationship has become another means by which
you are to grow. The question of whether you ultimately will stay in such a relationship is not the
issue at this point. What is at issue is that you come into the full honoring of who you are, stand
firm within the realms of love and light that have been made known to you, and proceed to
explore your relationship and life in general through the lens of your soul and monad.

“Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged”

First make sure that you are not in a place of judging your partner. If not held in check, this can
lead to falling into a mode of constant criticism and putting down your partner’s belief systems.
Such an attitude will do nothing to open his or her eyes to the truths that you have encountered.
Rather, it will do much to engender disapproval and criticism. You will also have fallen into the
dictates of your negative ego rather than follow the road to ascension that you seek. Judgment
and criticism will create a situation of two personalities at war rather than two divine beings
communicating their various viewpoints.

It is imperative that you, who hold the more inclusive perspective of the nature of things, do all
in your power to remain faithful to that vision and communicate from that perspective. If there is
any judging or criticizing going on, make sure it is not coming from you. If it does indeed come
at you, I suggest calling to your higher self and the masters to help shield you from any and all
forms of this negative attack. But by no means let attack come from you , and do not attempt to
force-feed your truth to your partner.

There will be some cases in which you will find that a partner is hungry for the higher
perspective and hidden truths of life. Then all it will take on your part is a sharing of these in
order to help awaken what was waiting to be awakened. However, if your partner is not ready to
open in this way, no amount of cajoling or lecturing is going to do it. So why create bad energy
between you? Simply do your best to communicate your awakening. Share about ascension, but
do not try to force your point of view onto your partner. Each of you must have the freedom to
follow your own paths to your highest and fullest potential. This might be hard to hear, but God
cannot be force-fed to anyone. If you hope to enlighten your partner, do it by living the truth and
being an example of love in action. How we walk our talk is ultimately our greatest teaching
method, so let us all be as loving, caring and compassionate as we can be at all times.

As we make changes in our lives, it is important that we be tactful about how our partner chooses
to live. For example, if we are in the process of purifying our diet and see our partner continually
eating junk food, to point that out at every meal would only serve to hurt, anger and alienate
him/her. Share your understanding of diet once, maybe twice, then wait to see if he/she asks you
any more about it. If he is overweight, he probably feels bad enough about it. We do not need to
keep at a partner about this.

If you have spent time with your partner enjoying horror movies and now find them repugnant,
simply don’t watch them with your partner anymore. You don’t need to badger him about it or
keep telling her the damage it is doing to her aura. I am not saying for you not to be who you are.
What I am saying is, allow your partner to be who he is, even while working at some kind of
resolution and harmony you both can live with.

When Your Elevators Are at Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

You might ultimately find that the two of you have grown in such different directions that it
seems your relationship cannot function as a unit any longer. I would definitely not advise either
of you to reach a quick decision about this matter out of anger or in an abrupt fashion. If you find
that you are in that position, I suggest you deal with it in as loving and supportive a manner as
possible. It is often quite helpful to seek out a therapist while you are in the process of making a
decision. This gives you the opportunity to check out whether either of you is coming from an
emotionally reactive space rather than deeply considering the situation together.

Sometimes it might be that your differing ends of the spectrum form a unique point of balance
for both of you. The more grounded partner who is not consciously on a spiritual path might be
happy in his role as primary provider. This would give you the time and money to take various
spiritual courses, buy the books you wish to read and so forth. Perhaps your partner enjoys the
time you spend in spiritual pursuits. Perhaps he enjoys the way you harmoniously decorate the
home or the way you prepare healthy meals. You just might have something quite workable, and
I would caution against any form of hasty decision even if you seem to function at opposite ends
of the same spectrum. That might be the very backbone of why you both have been able to
flourish as you have. Give yourselves time to look at all the various possibilities before rushing
into a major decision.

On the other hand, a separation might not only be appropriate, but necessary in order for each of
you to live your lives to the fullest possible potential. If this is the case, I suggest that you part
the same way you came together, and that is in love. I am not referring to the romantic type of
love that drew you together, but to the principle of unconditional love. It is important to bring
forgiveness for each other to the process of parting. There should also be an honoring of what
each of you has gained by being together. Then from that place move forward.

Separation is a difficult matter even for the most enlightened, so the help of a qualified therapist
or spiritual counselor is advised here. It then becomes the responsibility of you who are on the
path of ascension to use the many available tools mentioned throughout my books to continue
the process of cleansing and clearing your own negative ego and to keep building your light and
love quotient to ever higher frequencies.

Throughout this process, it is important to steer clear of all guilt and self-blame over the fact that
your relationship did not work out. Please bear in mind that it worked for as long as it was meant
to and that neither of you need hold any guilt because of what I have aptly termed “the differing
elevator syndrome.” There is no such thing as failure. Yet sometimes two people do grow apart,
and in these spiritually charged times this happens quite often. If separation and/or divorce have
become your choice, let go of guilt and self-blame. In actuality, there is no blame, so nothing
needs to be forgiven. As much as possible, cultivate a sense of gratitude, because all that has
gone before has led you to the level of spirituality you now embrace. Then follow your heart’s
calling and “be about your Father’s business.”

Choosing to Stay Together

Of course there will be those who find that a workable and healthy balance has been achieved
from the two of you operating at different ends of the spectrum. Others might find that although
it is challenging for you to be at different levels of spiritual unfoldment, the love and essential
values you share far outweigh the challenges. Those of you who find yourselves in this category
will more than likely choose to remain together. If this is the case, keep in your minds and hearts
that this was your choice, and do everything in your power to make it work for you.

As in all situations, keep love as the focal point of your relationship and play up the positive
things you share. It is a matter of whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, and it is
hoped that you will view the glass of your relationship as full as possible. Keep the lines of
communication open and always try to communicate from as clear, integrated and spiritual a
place as possible.

In your case, there will probably be more areas in which you differ than there will be with
couples who are more aligned in their spiritual work. This does not imply that they are better off
than you are, for they will be dealing with specific difficulties that confront two lightworkers
who come together. But when two people view spirituality through a similar lens, they will
probably get excited over the same or similar spiritual events, books and so forth. In your case,
what is of great interest to you might be of little or no interest to your partner. That is why it is so
important to focus on the love you share and on the areas of mutual interest you have. It is so
crucial to allow one another the freedom to explore and participate in the interests unique to each
of you. For example, if you do not like a certain type of movie and your partner does, then give
him/her the freedom and the blessing to see what is most appealing. Perhaps he can have his
night when he goes to see a slam-bam action film and you stay home and meditate. Then you
might set aside a date night when you share an activity that is of equal interest to both of you.

However, if spiritual events are not of interest to your partner, be prepared to attend these alone.
This might not always be the case, as you might be the couple who shares a certain degree of
joint spiritual interests. Sharing spiritual activities that are of mutual interest would be a
wonderful way in which to expand and deepen the relationship between you. But if you find that
a specific event is calling to you and it is not of interest to your partner, pursue what interests
you. In fact, this should be an issue that is discussed in general. Neither of you should feel as if
you must be the other one’s shadow. Nor should either of you feel stifled and unable to express
yourself to the utmost and pursue your visions. The best way to deal with this is through open
communication before the fact. Then freely and without guilt, go where your hearts and spirits
call you.

No relationship is easy, no matter how many shared interests and values there are. Keep
reminding yourself and each other that being together and staying together through the process of
transformation and the knowledge that you are looking at the world through different lenses was
a joint decision. Keep honoring yourself and always hold yourself to the integrity of your divine
calling. Likewise honor your partner for being who he or she is and for playing the part he is
playing in your relationship. Always keep the channels of communication open. Then follow the
joint pathway of your loving, committed relationship while following your heart and staying in
communion with your soul and I Am Presence.
7
In Search of Your Soulmate: the Deeper
Meaning
In order to put the vast topic of the search for one’s soulmate into proper perspective, we must
look at it from the highest and most inclusive vantage point. We are all part of one great whole,
extensions of ever greater and fuller levels of beingness and unity. What we are ultimately
seeking is to merge back with Source. This occurs in varying and graded succession, but must
ultimately lead back through all 352 levels of the Godhead, which is our journey through the
Mahatma, Avatar of Synthesis.

Although we indeed merge and blend with the next level above us, we retain our individuality. It
came through Melchizedek, and through Djwhal Khul in the Alice Bailey material, that the body
one manifests on the higher planes is usually the same body in which one takes one’s ascension.
Some ascended masters choose to take the youthful form of that body. Others will maintain the
appearance of the age they were when they took their ascension. In part, this is so their disciples
can recognize them. This can be seen in the cases of Djwhal Khul and Sri Yukteswar of the Self-
Realization Fellowship and lineage, to name just two.

A major point of significance is that one retains one’s specific gender. That is, the masters retain
a feminine or masculine appearance through all the cosmic dimensions, all the way back to their
cosmic ascension. This is a vital point when discussing the matter of soulmates and, from a much
broader aspect, the divine feminine/masculine principles intrinsic to the cosmic structure itself.
This includes how various ascended planetary and cosmic masters function through the yin/yang
forces of nature as well as the pairing of the archangels and the elohim who likewise function
through male/female counterparts. (Please refer to The Complete Ascension Manual for a specific
chart on the pairing of these incredible cosmic beings.)

It might be wise then, to review a topic I have endeavored to explain in detail in the above-
mentioned book. This is the fact that we are each a soul, an extension of an oversoul. The
individualized soul functions as one of twelve that belong to a soul family (oversoul), and the
experiences gained through each soul’s unique incarnations hopefully contribute to the
development of the oversoul itself. But there comes a point when one of the more dedicated and
spiritually motivated members of that particular soul grouping is given the task of doing the
work for its entire oversoul.

Each oversoul is also one of twelve oversouls that belong to a specific monad. The oversouls
merge with the greater monadic family, and the monads group themselves into ever-expanding
wholes as the ascension process continues. What can be clearly seen is that we are dealing with
successive mergings into greater and greater group wholes, or spiritual families. This is a very
important point to understand if we are to have any true perspective when approaching the
subject of finding one’s soulmate.

Soulmates and Twin Flames

The process of finding your soulmate is not what one generally thinks. Oftentimes another soul is
part of your soul family, but that person’s development is along quite different lines than yours
and is not by any means the mate you think you are seeking. This can apply to the monadic
realms as well: Two individuals may be a part of the same monad, but their work and means of
evolution might not be in harmony. In such instances, if you encounter one another, you may
find that you do not especially bond, as your specific contributions to the whole are not aligned.
This is usually, but not always, the case.

On the other hand, you might encounter someone from a different monad who functions much
more as a complement to the way you function. When the two of you meet, you might be certain
you have met your soulmate when in fact you have met someone from a different oversoul and
probably from a different monad altogether. But because you are each holding similar positions
in relation to your monads, you immediately recognize that there is joint work to do . You will
probably have compatible natures, which will make it feel as if you are part of the same
oversoul.

The fact is, most of humanity, lightworkers included, have a definition of soulmate that is simply
not applicable from the soul level. The understanding of soul extensions is only now coming to
light, and therefore there is still a general misunderstanding of what a soulmate is. This also
applies to the term “twin flame,” which is often talked about with very little thought or
understanding.

Your twin flame is indeed someone special and unique to you. However, it first must be
understood that this person, like a soulmate, is not usually, if ever, from the same oversoul or
even the same monad. Your twin flame is a being with whom you have bonded through eons in
both your outer-plane and inner-plane work. It is this past shared work that makes it seem as if
you are connected through the oversoul or monad. More often than not, your twin flame will
manifest in the sex opposite your own, and you will feel as if you are indeed two parts of the
same whole. There may be specific lifetimes in which you have come in as the same sex in order
to do a particular type of work. However, on the inner planes you will more than likely each hold
either the masculine or the feminine principle in order to function in as complementary a fashion
as possible.

The oneness and unity you feel when encountering your alleged soulmate or twin flame is likely
due to the fact that you are meeting a being with whom you are closely and intimately connected
in your spiritual mission. That being is not necessarily your other half. The truth is that we are
each complete because we are the incarnated divine, made in the image of Father/Mother God.
We are each Shiva/Shakti, and at our highest levels of integration we will manifest that within
our own beings. However, we each hold more of either the male (Shiva) or female (Shakti)
energy within us. This accounts for the fact that the ascended masters themselves embody more
of either the male or female energies and consistently function with the energies thus embodied,
taking a form also consistent with these specific energies.
We can also look at this from the point of view that oneness is All That Is. Therefore, when we
reach the level of what we call ascension or enlightenment, we view ourselves as one with all
beings and all forms of life. It is interesting to note that although we remain ourselves, we merge
with all, and that while playing our parts within the whole, we feel ourselves to be the whole.
This is the divine and blessed paradox of God and of life itself. “While pervading the universe
with His entire Being, yet He remains.”

In this light, let us explore the unique parts that we each have to play, remembering always that
even as we expand within greater and greater wholes, still we remain. Also remember that in our
embracing the oneness, we each have our specific roles to play, as do those with whom we are to
interact. Thus during a lifetime we may encounter more than one soulmate — those special and
rare beings with whom our purpose is aligned, beings we recognize as dear and special parts of
ourselves. The tie is deep and the joy they provide is a joy that should be expressed.

Sometimes we find ourselves partnered with a person who does not feel like one of these soul-
mate connections, and they may not be. Perhaps they are fulfilling a different function for us, as
we may be for them (discussed at length in the preceding chapter). These two people might find
a balance, not out of a particular spiritual alignment but one that provides a grounding factor.
They might share a deep love, but not the same spiritual values, and in these situations the
spiritual partner will often find companionship among other kindred souls. What most often
occurs in these situations is that soulmates or soul companions are found among their group of
spiritual friends. The fulfillment that was sought but not found through their mates is fulfilled
through these soul-mate friends. If a person is so constituted that he or she cannot be in
relationship with anyone who is not of a soul-mate nature, he might wait until he can blend the
two facets of his life into one before settling down. Or a person might even choose to leave an
existing relationship in order to be alone or to wait until the right soul companion comes along.
We all have different needs, and what is of primary importance is that we stay faithful to what
our own heartlight is guiding us to do.

I realize that the understanding I am presenting here about soulmates and twin flames is not very
glamorous. My job in writing this book is not to present glamour, but truth. The fact is that it is
very rare to meet a soul extension from your own oversoul. It is a little more likely that you will
meet someone from your monad, but even this is rare. Every spiritual couple wants to think the
partner is the other half of their soul, but this is highly unlikely. (I know I may get some flack
from couples who believe differently, but I am sharing with you only what the ascended masters
have shared with me on this subject. I was not very pleased to hear their guidance about this
myself, but I am sure that you are seeking truth, not glamour or illusion.) This does not discount
the profound bonding that takes place in the relationships that have been defined thus far.

Mission Mates
Mission mates present us with a unique and interesting form of partnership. It occurs when two
people who are probably not from the same oversoul or even monad come together and form a
deep bond out of a sense of having a particular spiritual mission that they are to accomplish
together. When this bond also takes the form of a romantic relationship, they do indeed have the
best of both worlds. It offers the support of love and commitment as well as that of a partner who
shares basically the same mission and spiritual destiny. This does not mean you play exactly the
same roles, but you will work together to fulfill the same purpose and be parts of the same
whole.

Perhaps one of you will be more the mystic writer and the other more of the occultist and
lecturer. Or perhaps one will be the writer/composer of beautiful spiritual songs and the other the
performer of those songs. There is an infinite number of ways this can manifest, but the point is,
you will be doing it together in a shared and mutually supportive union.

If you are both rather advanced on the path of ascension, the work that can be done is
tremendous and of extreme value to humanity. If you are both centered in your monads and
make God the center of your work and life together, you will have a relationship of the highest
order.

Monadic Mates
This leads us into the realm of monadic mates. If you are a monadically centered mission-mate
couple, the work you do has the potential of elevating humanity in ways not available to those
who are not in such an elevated inner-plane position. The pairing of monadic mates occurs when
both beings are monadically centered. This could be between two individuals from the same
monad or from different monads. This is much more common than individual souls coming
together from the same oversoul.

This pairing of two monadically centered individuals allows the purpose of the monad to be
fulfilled, which is the overshadowing by God of all they do. To live then means to serve, for
service is one of the attributes of monadic existence and why you have been called together in
the first place. Monadic mission mates therefore have God and service work at the fore of their
relationship, for it could not be otherwise when so overlighted by the monad. But if one loses his
or her focus on the mission, most likely a relationship of this high calling will come to an end, as
service and God are the primary reasons it came into existence in the first place.

This is equally true for those who share a mission but who are not mated in a romantic or sexual
union. Sometimes two people come together who share a great vision and the monad of each
stands beside them and within them in order to manifest that mission. If the mission is no longer
the primary objective for their being together, they will frequently drift apart and another avenue
for the monadic intent will be sought by one or both.

Whenever you are operating from the monadic realms, you are both watched and supported by
the planetary and cosmic masters as well as your monad. The purpose is to see light and love and
power, rightly used, manifest on the Earth. If a given vehicle for that expression is not taking
hold, a new one will be sought, for neither the monad of the individual nor God will accept less
than the highest level of expression by those of us who are capable of expressing it.

All of us, whether in a service-oriented mission-mate relationship or a romantic mission-mate

relationship, must discern if it is coming from the realm of the monad. If it is, we should indeed
rejoice and keep a close watch so that this high level is maintained at all times and the monadic
mission is brought forth on the plane of matter. If we are not yet so connected with our monads
as to have found our monadic mate, let us work daily upon our path of ascension so that we too
shall know the glory of the monad — the mighty I Am Presence — as well as have the
opportunity to serve it and the greater whole.

Group Monadic Mates

Group monadic mates do not fall into the category of romantic relationships, for here we are
dealing with a larger group body. However, it might be the destiny of two people within that
group to form a romantic bond. The work structure of group monadic mates occurs when there is
a coming together of various ascended beings or near-ascended beings. These beings are merged
within the group body of their particular monad. They come together from their various monads
to form a particular monadic grouping in order to work together on both the outer and inner
planes on a joint venture of service. They form a unique group consciousness and bond for the
sole purpose of being agents of the divine Plan. This type of relationship offers them the
opportunity to advance along the lines of cosmic evolution. They can and do anchor into their
fields the higher dimensions, chakras and bodies as well as heightened light and love quotients,
which will enable them to move quickly through the higher levels of initiation when their tenure
on Earth is over.

They also work as a balancing system for one another in several different ways. One way is
simply by coming from different monads. Although serving a similar purpose, each one carries a
slightly different energy. Thus each person’s energy complements and supports the others.
Working closely with one another, they form a kind of check against negative-ego
manipulations. This is not to imply that there will not be slip-ups, but as long as each person
stays open to the mirroring effect of the others, this can work wonders to keep the negative ego
at bay. All of us, no matter how evolved we feel, must be ever watchful over that sneaky
negative ego! This applies even to the inner-plane masters, although on a completely different
scale and at a much subtler level.

All things considered, functioning within a specific monadic grouping can be one of the greatest
service vehicles available to us on Earth. The good news is that all of us will eventually find
ourselves merged back with our monad, without a loss of individuality but with a greatly
heightened sense of love, wisdom and being. From that high place we will all have the
opportunity to serve humanity, continuing onward and upward into ever higher and more
inclusive realms of being.

Sex on the Inner Planes

I must admit that addressing the matter of sex on the inner planes seems both humorous and
quite serious. It has been the brunt of many jokes, but it is serious because it involves the
attribute of love, and love is indeed synonymous with God.

When two people who are deeply in love on the Earth plane are separated by what is commonly
termed death, but which more appropriately should be called transition, does the love between
them stop? I venture to say it does not. It may seem to fade, and if one makes an early departure,
adjustments are most certainly made. But love is love, and by its very nature it is carried forward
into the realms beyond. When one is in the process of passing, he or she is met by loved ones —
a fact which is now common knowledge — and are most assuredly greeted by a beloved mate
from their most recent incarnation who has already passed over.

The only time this does not occur is when you have two people who are at very different levels
of spiritual development. In these cases, they are still met by loved ones, but they will more
likely encounter a husband or wife from an earlier incarnation, one whose frequencies are more
aligned with their own and who will be recognized as a beloved. The more evolved individual
will have a similar experience, although in that case, contact with the soul/monad and the masters
will be just as important as connecting with a former husband or wife. The more evolved being
will have a more expanded view of being one with the whole.

This brings us to the understanding that on the inner planes we cannot hide from the truth as we
can here on Earth. Therefore, the true nature of another being will stand revealed, and one cannot
help being drawn to the most suitable mate. On the inner planes, each being knows the other by
their inner light. Therefore, though there are hundreds of husbands or wives from former
lifetimes, we will be drawn to the one with whom we truly belong. At the same time, a soul
might have some unfinished business and therefore a strong desire to be with the mate it was
with last, even if only briefly.

The Astral Realm

Sex on the lower astral levels is quite similar to sex on the physical plane, except for the absence
of either a physical vehicle or its etheric counterpart. If the people involved were acting out of
the lower frequencies while still on Earth, they will continue to play that out on the lower astral
until they tire of it. They will then find themselves, either individually or as a couple, elevated to
the higher levels of the astral realm, where a deeper comprehension of love and a purer
expression of it will take place in their sexual union.

In order to understand this, you must first understand that the astral realm itself is quite like the
physical. The major difference is that on Earth you have those of varying frequencies lumped
together in crowded cities or functioning in the same work environment. But in the astral realm
things are much more clearly delineated, which allows those of similar natures to play out their
parts and learn the needed lessons. Those who are more highly evolved can pursue the higher
nature of God within themselves. They can also explore the vaster mysteries of cosmic truths
unencumbered by those who on Earth would have vibrationally dragged them down.

So we can see that in the astral realm, things function much as they do on Earth. Yet unlike
Earth, things are not so hidden from astral sight as they are from physical sight. Also, the regions
of the astral run the gamut from the lowest expressions of the basest human savagery (almost all
of our current humanity has evolved far beyond this point) all the way to the most resplendent
regions. To behold someone from these higher realms would seem to the average Earth person
like beholding a god!

The Mental Realm

Upon the mental realm one finds beings of various degrees of development. Those who find
themselves in the lower mental worlds are but relative children in their capacity to think and
understand compared to those who find themselves in the higher mental worlds. Although the
mental realm can be regarded as the next plane above the astral, it can also be considered to
coexist with the astral, for although the mental realm is higher, it interpenetrates the astral realm.

Let us consider an average couple in order to demonstrate this point. Joe and Jane, for example,
have rejoined each other after both have passed through the great transition that humans call
death. They are expressing their love and making a life together for a time on certain levels of the
astral realm. In addition, both of them are expressing in the mental realm. They are practicing the
expansion of their mental capacities, yet having an anchor and “home” on the astral. This is not
unlike Joe and Jane on Earth, who conducted their physical-plane lives through their emotional
and mental vehicles while still on the plane of dense matter.

On the other hand, there are beings who have dropped their astral vehicles just as we here on
Earth drop our physical vehicles at the time of death. These beings are free to function through
their thought or mental bodies of light, freed from the encumbrance of both the astral and the
physical vehicles. They might be called back into incarnation at some point, but they will be
graced with a period of unfolding purely through the higher mental worlds during their inner-
plane stay, and this is a most delightful, enlightening and wonderfully freeing experience.

We are then left to wonder whether, or how, these beings enact sexual union. Some do not, as
they choose to use this time to develop their mental faculties and further their understanding of
the divine Plan. Yet some most certainly do engage in a type of sexual union. I use this term in a
broad sense. It certainly involves a specific coupling, and it certainly is expressive of a unique
intimacy between them, but it is of quite a different nature than what we on Earth think when we
use the term “sex.”

What occurs is more of a melding of minds, a total blending of beings. This union is not
altogether without form, as there is still a form in the higher mental worlds, but it is refined
beyond that which can be expressed in words. The merging of the forms occurs in a way that is
hard to explain. Form follows thought, rather than thought following the form of the physical. It
is the merging of these mental forms that we can most readily equate with the act of sex. It is far
more appropriate to consider this merging of light/mind than an act of sex, for the very word
“sex” cannot help but conjure up images that are simply not appropriate on the higher regions of
mind.

Yet it is equally inappropriate to say that these realms are devoid of sex altogether. We remain in
a dilemma as to how best to express what does occur. The terms “intimate bonding” and “union
between couples” more closely approximate what actually occurs than simply saying they are
having sex on the higher mental regions. If one were put on the spot to say whether or not
sexuality is expressed on these higher mental worlds, one would do well to say there is, but it is
of quite a different nature than you are apt to imagine.

To summarize, I would state that yes, there is sex in the higher mental worlds, and it is preceded
by thought. The saying “thoughts are things” is a profound statement of fact on these higher
mental regions. There is a coming together of two individuals who function and unite through the
bodies provided by the level of their beingness in the realm of mind. Love indeed enters into this
union, as love itself is an attribute of God.

Therefore, for those of you who are concerned about whether or not you will be able to be with
your mate as you enter the higher mental worlds, I answer with a resounding yes! However, as
above, so below — and even more so in the case of the higher mental regions. As there are those
who, during certain lifetimes or portions of a lifetime on Earth, choose to be celibate, so there are
those on the higher mental worlds who choose to use this time in the pursuit of cosmic wisdom
and the various functions of mind. Yet that path is only for those who choose it. For you who
wish to continue your love relationship through your higher mental bodies, it is quite a common
practice, as the levels of unity that are possible within these mental worlds far supersede any
levels hitherto experienced.

The Causal (Buddhic) Realm

It is in the buddhic realm that one functions as the soul. It is upon the causal realm that all the
good, the beautiful and the true that a being has stored up through many cycles of evolution on
the lower realms eventually finds its place. Nothing but that which is of a divine nature goes into
building the causal vehicle, which is the vehicle for soul itself. What occurs with mates is quite
interesting in the causal or buddhic realm. A type of specific couple bonding occurs, but from a
place totally reflective of unity. We are now dealing with souls and the group bodies and families
of souls that exist in a world that reflects only unity.

At this level there is again a coupling of souls as mission mates for the purpose of doing specific
work together. Sex on the causal realm takes the form of a bonding of essences rather than the
joining of specific bodies. The coupling of soul bodies might exist for a certain span of time, but
this will ultimately give way to a higher form of bonding that does not involve the coupling of
soul bodies at all. One of the major reasons for this is that all continues to evolve, and it is on the
causal realm that even the body of the soul is relinquished. One is left with an individualized
monadic expression that is an extension of the monad itself.

A master, of course, can form a soul body through an act of will, just as the master can form the
four lower bodies with which to express self. But in essence, after a longer or shorter stay on the
causal realm, one relinquishes that body and moves up within the ever-expanding whole into the
atmic, monadic and logoic realms and eventually into the cosmic realms beyond.

During the process of incarnation, one gets to experience the causal realm before becoming a
permanent resident. During these stays one can and often does have more of the “normal” (if
such a term is applicable) type of sexual union. That is to say, one can continue to bond with
one’s mate through the buddhic vehicle. This could be called a type of intercourse, but it is the
intercourse of two souls that is so deep and all-embracing that to call it sex would be somewhat
misleading. There is a merging between the two that approximates certain aspects of sex, but this
more appropriately could be called intercourse of souls. This is vastly different from the sexual
intercourse between two people on Earth.

The Atmic and Monadic Realms

There is such a unity between the atmic and monadic realms that to try and differentiate between
them would be a disservice to both. On the atmic realm or plane, one is totally connected with
the monadic vehicle. On the monadic realm, one is the monad. Yet to be as connected with
monadic source as one is on the atmic plane is to be the monad as well. The difference is that
what is utterly pure and unfettered becomes even more pure and unfettered. It is truly hard to
separate them, as those on the atmic plane serve only the monad, being a direct expression of it.
And those on the monadic plane serve only the monad by being it.

The difference is slight, but when full monadic merging occurs, one is then totally and
completely free from any separation from Source. On that plane one is totally unified with the
monad and has become Source Itself. This is speaking from a planetary point of view, not a full
cosmic ascension point of view.

Sex on these planes fades away, though coupling does not. However, let none fear for the loss,
for it is a place of such unity that whatever has been gained through the act of sex — the love
and bonding — is the very nature of these planes . Therefore, nothing is ever lost — not
intimacy, individual identity or the particular mate one might choose to have and work with on
these planes. What does occur is the fading of particular needs, for these planes contain within
their very nature the fulfillment of all needs.

The Logoic Realm

It is appropriate that we continue our discussion by bringing the logoic realm into it, as we have
now entered realms that uniquely merge and blend one into the other. When a monad reenters the
logoic realm, it brings with it all that its many cycles in the various worlds have given it of the
nature of goodness, beauty and truth. What happens upon entering the logoic plane is that there is
a direct and correct knowledge of logoic intent, and it is that which the individual now serves.
Yet one has by then entered into such a vast group body and consciousness that calling one an
individual expresses but part of the truth. One does indeed remain an individual, unique unto
itself, yet one fully functions as part of a greater group body and whole. Each is both the one and
the many. Because this is the case, one can, and often does, have a particular being with whom
one works and serves. This is one’s divine complement or counterpart, which all the elohim and
archangels have. Many masters of both planetary and cosmic standing also function by way of
this divine coupling. This is not something that must be, because by the time such heights are
reached, one has bonded with one’s ultimate mate, which is the individual merging with its
mighty I Am Presence or monad. On a planetary level this is uniting with God, fulfilling the
ultimate union.

However, even as one has achieved this ultimate union, blending with that higher aspect of self
and balancing the masculine and feminine within oneself, there is still a tendency to be a bit
more yin or yang even within this perfect balance. This is because the basic form of the cosmos
itself works on the divine Father/Mother principle. And because of this, it is not at all uncommon
that great masters and cosmic beings alike choose to work with their divine complement.

Each of the seven planes mentioned in this chapter will eventually become integrated when you
take one of the seven levels of initiation. If you know your initiation level, you can easily trace
the plane you are working on and the plane you are now striving to integrate.
Merging with the Master
There are various ways in which the disciple or initiate merges with a higher master. One of the
most profound examples of this is invoking a penetration by such cosmic masters as the
Mahatma (who embraces all 352 levels of the cosmos), Melchizedek or Metatron. You invoke
their divine presence to permeate your being, thus making those extremely high energies
available to you as well as to all of humanity and the Earth herself. This enables the master to
express and function more fully and freely through you.

To use the Mahatma as a wonderful example, the person who asks for a penetration of his
energies then functions as a type of walk-in, allowing the Mahatma to function within him/her.
This is not the type of walk-in situation in which one leaves the body to allow another to walk in
and live through it. It is a profound example of merging with a cosmic master by allowing that
being to penetrate you with his/her divine essence. This is actually quite a common practice, as
the master will seek to merge and blend his or her energies with any number of initiates for the
purpose of protection and to further facilitate the spiritual development of the initiate. In this way
the masters are able to express themselves more freely on Earth.

It is interesting to note that some disciples or initiates feel themselves to be in a type of marriage
relationship with a particular master due to the bonding and unifying factor. This is the case with
nuns who put on a wedding band to signify that marriage between themselves and Jesus Christ or
God has taken place. They consider themselves brides of Christ. In truth, this can occur with any
planetary or cosmic master.

The master also merges in group formation with those he is guiding. They (the initiate, disciple
or younger master) learn by being enfolded within the auric presence of those masters with
whom they are aligned. This has to do with the formation of a group body, which occurs through
the unified work of advanced lightworkers. To quote from scripture, “Where two or three are
gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” [Matthew 18:20]. This is a
wonderful concept that all disciples, initiates and masters at every level should be aware of.
When two or more of you join in divine intent, a third entity is created, comprised of yourselves,
your I Am Presence and the master who is working with you. A group body then arises out of
your joint intent.

This can be a wonderful way to approach a marriage as well. Join hands, invite your I Am
Presence to overlight you both and ask for the master or masters with whom you feel most
aligned to join you. Through this joining, recognize that a third entity, a group body, has been
created. Then make every effort to function as that group body as well as individuals. This will
give you the benefit of continuing your individual work as well as working within the love,
support and purpose of your greater group whole for the upliftment of humanity.

This group body becomes even more powerful when it is created in conjunction with the
ascension buddy system. Ascension buddies can be marriage partners, two friends or a group of
friends. It can serve to uplift a marriage or romantic relationship. The ascension buddy system
will elevate any relationship. It is also a wonderful tool for mutual support and spiritual
acceleration.
Bodies of the Masters
Although it must be obvious to those who have had personal contact with any of the masters that
they do indeed have form, it seems important to state this: A master is one who has achieved
liberation from the Earth and who functions from at least the monadic plane. For the purpose of
contacting their disciples, and in order to fulfill specific missions, the masters create vehicles on
the etheric, astral, mental, causal, atmic, monadic and logoic plane, and sometimes on the
physical plane as well. Thus they are able to make direct and personal contact with their disciples
in ashrams and schools of learning.

Having the ability to take a form enables them to visit the disciple and the disciple to visit them.
Some specific manifestations of this are Djwhal Khul’s Synthesis Ashram on the inner planes,
where many disciples come; the beautiful manifestations of the etherialized form of Mother
Mary so that she may impart specific blessings and teachings; the appearance of Sananda and
Lord Maitreya to the inner eye of disciples; the appearance of the Christ (Lord Maitreya) on
Earth; and the advent of Sai Baba and his incarnation in a physical body. The masters are
drawing ever closer to humanity, as are the angelic beings and higher extraterrestrial
intelligences during these heightened times of spiritual acceleration.

The Unique Accounts of Saint Germain

Saint Germain has been known to visit many disciples in an etherialized form, a form that
functions much like the physical, although superseding it. In such a manner was Guy Ballard,
now known as Godfré Ray King, contacted and taught. These contacts ultimately brought about
the I Am Discourses that served, and still serve, to motivate many disciples on the path of
ascension. Many women disciples also tell of being visited by Saint Germain and, in etheric
form, being made love to. This is somewhat reminiscent of the stories of Zeus appearing to
various women in many guises and becoming their lover.

One might wonder if these stories are indeed true and, if so, why a being of such divine stature
would manifest in this way. We discussed earlier the great power involved in sexual union, as
well as the fact that the masters are functioning through self-created bodies (the mayavarupa
body) on various planes in order to serve specific functions. There is also the fact that the
Mahatma merges with his disciples through an act of penetration. It follows then that a master
who carries specific energies might use an act of seeming sexual union to thus penetrate a
disciple and further merge his energies with that disciple. He would do this if he deemed it the
most effective way to unite and commune with a particular disciple.

Granted, this is not commonplace, nor should it be, for almost all disciples are struggling to rid
themselves of the dictates of their sexual nature and assume mastery over that powerful aspect of
their beings. However, if a master has the ability to elevate the disciple through this type of
union, then should this be seen as wrong? I think not!

However, caution must be exercised here lest teachers in incarnation who are not ascended to
such divine levels use this as an excuse to sleep with whomever they choose. This practice is
never to be considered by any earthly teacher, no matter how advanced they think they are. If
anyone has such a teacher, my advice is to remove yourself from his teaching and seek the light
of truth within yourself. This type of situation is utterly and completely unacceptable, and we are
not speaking of such matters here. We are, in fact, speaking of a deeper penetration by a divine
and cosmic being who is using a form for precise and specific reasons, and only when it is
appropriate.

One must also keep watch that the rumors of such occurrences do not exaggerate their frequency,
which they often do. This is a delicate and unique situation, one that is hard to convey clearly. I
would caution all disciples not to make this their intent with any master. Instead, set your intent
on merging with your own I Am Presence. If such a vision does come to you, challenge it thrice
in the name of Christ. If it is not of a high and pure frequency, such a challenge will stop it full
force. If it is of a divine nature, you will know that you are protected and that the master
appearing to you is an ascended being. This is a sensitive issue where extreme caution must be
exercised on all planes.

Splitting of Souls and Oversouls

There are some unique cases where an individualized soul or oversoul will indeed split to form
true soul twins. In the case of the splitting of an individual soul, the purpose would be to better
express and serve, utilizing the various aspects of that soul in the form of two rather than one.
This would be the case when there is a split within the oversoul.

In rare cases, this joint decision is made by certain cosmic and planetary masters, the soul and
monad and the presiding Planetary Logos. This is done to fulfill a greater part of the plan through
this unique formation and to facilitate the growth of the soul involved. This is the only time when
the use of the word “twin” is truly applicable, as the two indeed have come from the same higher
self. This type of split is rare indeed. I want to make it clear that this is so rare that the masters
almost guided me not even to mention it. Because it has occasionally occurred, however, I have
included it for your edification.

Your Pet Mate

The important role that pets play in the realm of relationship cannot be understated. Directly
below the human kingdom is the animal kingdom, even as the angelic kingdom is directly above
the human. The human kingdom is a bridge for the animal kingdom to evolve into its next level,
but this will not happen for every species now encountered on Earth. Some species will die off,
but the group soul to which that species belongs will not. It will eventually manifest in a more
appropriate form and continue its group evolution, for all life is evolving. Therefore, though the
forms of animals might change with time, the group soul continues.

When we talk about our pets, we are discussing beings of an already developed nature who
sometimes have quite developed emotional bodies and a form of mind principle in activation.
This includes dogs, cats, elephants and horses. It also includes birds, who are actually part of the
devic kingdom. These animals are awaiting the opening of the door to individuation, which will
occur by the activation of manas (mind) and their separation from the group body. At that point
they become individualized souls and begin treading the path of human evolution.
The relationship between an individual and his/her pet is a mutually beneficial one for both their
evolutions and emotional well-being. A particular animal is ready for individuation when it
begins to break away from the generic group body that is usually the pool for the cumulative
experiences of a given species. It begins to retain a separate identity through a succession of
incarnations and grows through its interaction with humanity. This is why it was designed that an
animal take the role of pet or “animal baby,” as they are often referred to. They are indeed our
animal children, and the emotional bonding between us is truly mutual.

We often feel so bonded with our pets that we consider them family members. This is not to be
taken lightly, for they should be thought of this way. Even the more elusive ones such as the cat,
who is not as outwardly expressive as the dog, is quite involved in the activities of the household
and all the emotions of its members. This is equally true of the elephant and the horse, although
not nearly so outwardly apparent.

We are not being sentimental when we imagine our “animal babies” to have certain feelings, for
indeed they do. We will likely encounter the same animal again and again throughout its
incarnation process, for the bond continues to grow. At this period in history we have our share
of animal psychologists and psychics, and although all are not truly tuned in, most are. The
emotional needs and feelings of our pets can easily be discerned by anyone who is willing to take
the time to become sensitive to them.

If you therefore find yourself the proud parent of a Persian, alley cat, mutt or Maltese and feel a
deep and loving bond, know that you are not off on a tangent with your love, but are helping to
facilitate the plan of God. Animals can occupy a special place in our lives. Certain people have a
destiny with the animal kingdom in general or with a particular species. Others have a destiny
with a particular pet they are assisting in their journey toward individuation. The pure,
unconditional love that loyal pets afford us is one of the best examples of the nature of
unconditional love that humanity can find.

Animals also serve as companions to the elderly, guides for the blind and deaf, herders and
crucial team members in various kinds of rescue work. Since animals can be calming, they are
sometimes employed to sit quietly on the lap of a fearful dental patient, giving them a dose of
drug-free calm.

As a beautiful example of man’s harmonious relationship with the animal kingdom, one can look
to the tradition of the Native Americans for whom the animal kingdom, has served as guides
through many centuries. We can thus see how closely tied we are to the animal kingdom, both
inwardly and outwardly, and how much animals have to offer us as teachers, servers and friends.

Let us therefore not exclude those most wondrous creatures when considering our soulmates.
Your puppy today was most likely your dog in a previous incarnation. The bond runs deep and
long, and many have experienced manifestations of their pets from the other side of the veil. So
please try not to have undue concern when you lose them. They will be there awaiting your
arrival — and indeed are probably watching over you even now, if they have passed on. The tie
between humanity and those animals on the path to individuation spans the ages, as does any
close relationship. In some ways it is perhaps the tenderest one of all.
8
Spiritual Parenting
Choosing Your Parents
It is quite common among lightworkers to hear people discussing why they chose their particular
parents. We wonder how this is possible, given so much conflict between parents and their
offspring. However, from the viewpoint of the soul, oversoul and monad, the parents one has
chosen are indeed the perfect parents. This does not seem to be the case when we find ourselves
incarnated into a disharmonious situation, and to be sure, there are extreme examples of this in
every walk of life. But if one looks at it through the lens of the higher self, one would see that all
is as it should be for the needed lessons to be learned by both parents and offspring.

To become detached in this matter is often very difficult, particularly if you find yourself in an
extreme situation, such as an abusive alcoholic or drug-using child or parent. To help you
understand this process, let us look at it from as high a vantage point as possible.

There are many factors at play in the process of a soul being born into this world, and many
cosmic factors must be taken into consideration. From the vaster cosmic lens, the timing of your
birth is of utmost importance, as you incarnate to follow specific cycles of the zodiac in order to
complete the assimilation and relative perfection that being born under the influence of specific
zodiacal energies brings into play. The rays must be mastered and incorporated into our being
and the various archetypes played out throughout our evolutionary process. So too will each of
us cycle through the various signs of the zodiac, experiencing the major influence of each of the
sun signs.

Therefore, the coordination between parents, conception and birth is watched closely and
involves the participation of the lords of karma. This becomes quite a technical matter,
particularly with the increasing number of induced births, and must be watched over and guided
most specifically, as it is always the free choice of parents to avail themselves of this option. In
almost all instances it is not advisable, as the timing of the birth should be under the direction of
the soul and the oversoul. Therefore, when this option is chosen, the birth is carefully watched
over and guided by beings of a very high nature. They want to ensure that the soul has the
specific zodiacal influences that will provide it with the opportunities it needs to fulfill its karma
and destiny.

We are all here to grow and evolve through every available means, and if we learn to keep that in
the forefront of our consciousness, we will not waste precious moments grumbling, but will try
to use all events as opportunities for growth. We are most likely to be born to those with whom
we have had previous blood ties. This particular grouping of individuals provides the opportunity
in which the type of karma intrinsic to a family unit will be allowed to work itself out. So it is
often the case that the parent in one life will have been the child in a previous one. Patterns of
behavior will arise again and again until they are ultimately brought to light and worked through.
This, of course, applies to soul groupings involving other types of relationships, many of which
already have been discussed in this book. However, there is something unique at work when this
takes shape in the genetic family unit.

We can see that we do not randomly pick our parents. Rather, it is a mutual agreement made
between three souls — two parents and the child — the oversouls and monads of each and the
lords of karma. We are each drawn to such an agreement, although it is one that is definitely
made consciously from the soul level and agreed on by all concerned. There are always other
possible choices that can be made; however, the areas that need to be addressed will always
come into play so that they can be resolved.

One further factor must be taken into consideration in choosing our parents. We each have a
specific mission on the Earth, which will involve such things as particular talents and abilities,
physical bodies, mental and emotional factors and the parents who can best provide us with these
qualities. You can see that this is quite an involved process and that much is taken into
consideration by all concerned. The main point to focus on is that once having made this choice,
it is best for us to accept it and get on with the process of learning the lessons at hand and
advancing our ascension process.

The Power of Parental Programming

Our parents’ power is great indeed. Until very recently, humanity has acted out of the processes
of the negative ego, and still does to a large extent. This has been considered the norm, albeit an
extremely dangerous and harmful norm indeed! This type of thinking is then imparted to the
child without any conscious awareness on the part of the parents.

The only way the dangers of negative-ego parental programming can be brought to light and
overcome is through proper education — education for child and parents alike. Without proper
understanding of how the negative ego functions and how it can be cleared, cleansed and
purified, parents will continue to unconsciously program their children with faulty belief
systems. Likewise, without proper education as to how this negative programming is affecting
us, as the children of such parenting, we will be stuck in the cesspool of the negative ego’s faulty
thinking and continue to be contaminated by it. Luckily, the power of the subconscious mind is
being brought to light. Through various tools such as affirmations, positive thinking, self-esteem
workshops and the like, people are at last beginning to reparent themselves.

The destructive power of negative-ego thinking is so enormous that I cannot stress the point
enough. In Soul Psychology, this issue is discussed at length. No matter how much we build our
light and love quotients, we must ultimately take the responsibility to heal, cleanse and purify
ourselves of negative-ego-based thinking. It becomes our responsibility to reparent ourselves in
this regard, as almost all of us have been programmed and parented with faulty belief systems.

It is not only our parents who have done this, nor are they to blame. In fact, I ask you to please
release any and all blame you might be holding onto in relation to your parents. They are human
beings who, in most cases, simply did the best they knew how. The majority of parents do not set
about willfully to program us with faulty thinking and negative-ego beliefs. This is simply the
way they functioned and the only way they knew how to function. This, in fact, is still the way
society functions as a whole, which can be seen at every level.

Our teachers then continued this process by working through a school system built on a
foundation of competitiveness and comparison. Our friends picked up on this and threw it back
in our faces. We likely did the same to them in turn. Then most of us found ourselves functioning
in a work arena that continued to perpetuate these same patterns of negative-ego programming:
competition, separation and ego strokes and strikes. No wonder we find the subconscious in such
a state and are having such a hard time learning how to think positively and bring through the
levels of divine love and light! The negative ego keeps getting in the way and doing its thing
unless we work extensively with it.

The Importance of Self-Parenting

So we are called upon to take a fearless look at our own subconscious selves and see where the
blotches and boils are. Then we can set about the task of self-parenting and reprogramming our
subconscious thinking structure and the inner-parent/inner-child relationship. We must do this
with full and total awareness that we are dealing with our inner child, which has its own specific
set of needs and has grown attached to certain modalities of believing and behaving. We must be
loving but firm parents to our inner child and assure this part of ourselves that we do not mean to
destroy it, but simply reeducate it so that we may function at a healthier and higher level for the
benefit of the whole.

Once we are awakened to the power the negative ego and negative subconscious thinking have
on us, the task of reeducation then falls to us. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it is one of the best
insights we could possibly have into the subtler ways in which we function. What has hitherto
controlled and overpowered us by virtue of our unawareness now reveals itself to be an aspect of
ourselves that we can take charge of and master. We can use positive affirmations and decrees,
victory logs, dream logs, listening to affirmation tapes and so forth.

Since I have given many tools and discussed their specific usage at length in my previous books,
I will not repeat them here. But I will repeat how essential it is that we let go of these false belief
systems by reprogramming and reparenting our subconscious minds in the most positive ways
possible. This should be done in every aspect of our lives. Negative-ego thinking impacts all
areas of our lives, because our conscious and subconscious minds set the tone regarding how we
feel about ourselves.

Consequently, if we have low self-esteem, we generally have it in all areas, but if we change
these feelings by reparenting ourselves to have confident and positive feelings about ourselves,
these will also permeate every area of our lives. The words and images we hold in the silent
recesses of our subconscious minds are reflected in the world of our daily lives, creating loud
echoes. Let us then reach into these seemingly silent corners of ourselves and change all negative
ego-based programming into self-love and joy. Let us never forget that we create every aspect of
our reality by how we think consciously and subconsciously.

If we fall into the category of the awakened lightworker or the self-aware individual who is in the
process of reparenting our inner child and subconscious, the question then comes to mind how to
transfer this new understanding to our children. Perhaps we have children who are no longer
infants, but who are old enough to feel the sting of the negative ego both in the outer world and
in the way it impinges on the child’s own inner world. If that is the case, I urge you to share your
process of new understanding and reprogramming in whatever ways best suit the particular
situation and your child’s level of comprehension.

Parenting Our Children

If your children are old enough to comprehend, tell them that you understand the nature of what
they are going through. Share with them that you are also going through similar trials and
difficulties, but that you have found that you can change this by working on changing your
subconscious negative beliefs. There is no need for them to think there is something wrong with
them because they are following a path laid out for them by the world at large. It is a good thing
that they are uncomfortable with the limiting structures of society. You can support them in
building the inner resources in order to have the strength to be who they are.

Bear in mind, however, that this is a child you have parented, and although you are not to blame
for being who you are or were at any given point in their growth process, sometimes outside help
is advisable. With a spiritual counselor or a transpersonal psychologist, your child can discuss
things that he or she might find difficult to discuss with you. Frequently children can freely
express just so much with their parents. The stigma of seeing a counselor should be transcended,
and this can be looked at as working with a spiritual teacher.

It is also a good idea to work with your children yourselves. Perhaps you can do joint positive
affirmations, both from books you work with and from those they come up with on their own. It
is good to be aware of how much peer pressure impacts your children. If they have a sensitive
nature and are not fitting in with their peers, this can have a devastating effect. Encourage them
to talk with you about their day and how they are feeling about it. Ask what is going on in
school. Ask them how they feel about their grades, if perhaps they feel inadequate because they
are not as high as they think they should be. Are they active in sports, and/or do they want to be?
Perhaps they are competing in a sport and not getting the results they think they should. This can
cause a great deal of pain. It will be wonderful if you can talk with them about it and perhaps
help them reframe the way they are looking at things. You can work on success affirmations
together, but more importantly, you can work on self-esteem affirmations that have nothing to do
with outer success.

Take a good look at the schools they are attending. Schools that might be good academically
might not provide the best support for self-esteem and creative expression. If you find this to be
the case, you might want to consider an alternative school that better meets the emotional and
creative needs of your children.

There have been some wonderful advances made in child psychology, some of which are quite
effective in getting to the core subconscious feelings. Art therapy is one technique that comes to
mind, in which much of the child’s inner world is drawn forth through the medium of crayon or
paint. No one is either too young or too old to work with the various tools of reprogramming and
reparenting the subconscious mind.
Parenting the Infant
If you are a new mother or father and are aware of the power of subconscious programming, you
are in a unique position to begin at a very early age to fill your children’s subconscious mind and
feeling world with the most positive images you can think of. During their time of sleep, which
is the bulk of their existence in infancy, you can play soft, healing music. There is wonderful
music available for little ones, and many of your own spiritual and new-age music tapes would
be suitable as well. You can talk to your children and tell them how wonderful they are and how
loved and safe they are. Decorate their rooms with beautiful colors, angel pictures and soft, sweet
things. It is a good idea to place a picture of one or more of the masters you work with by their
crib. Archangel Michael is a wonderful protective influence for little ones.

As the infant grows in awareness, be careful to always remain unconditionally loving. Never
withdraw love if they misbehave, no matter what the situation. As was discussed earlier in this
book, true love is unconditional love. Any other expression of love is a distortion of true love.

Unfortunately, many of us were brought up with the threat of love being withdrawn or with the
feeling that we had to prove ourselves worthy of love. Well, the buck stops with us. The damage
this can do often takes a lifetime to correct. Since we are all aware of it, let us never do this with
our own children. While we are at it, let us start this very moment to give our own inner child
only total unconditional love. We have the power to do this, so let us claim that power now and
begin to demonstrate, both to our children and to ourselves, the nature of unconditional love. The
best way to ensure that your children grow up psychologically and spiritually healthy is for you,
as their parent, to be right with yourself and right with God. Most programming of children is
actually done energetically and subconsciously through the vibrational frequencies we radiate.

Parenting Your Unborn Child

Closely aligned with the subject of parenting an infant is the importance of parenting an infant
who is still in the womb. This brings us to certain matters that must be addressed before
continuing.

The soul preparing for incarnation spends most of its time building the four lower bodies. This is
a process that begins at conception and continues at greater and greater levels of involvement as
the fetus grows. Therefore, what actually occurs is paradoxical. On the one hand there is the soul
that remains free in its own realm but still functions to a greater or lesser degree, depending on
the level of its evolution, on building the four lower bodies. On the other hand, because that soul
is already intimate with the vehicle it is building, it is connected with the thoughts, emotions and
physical world of its parents, especially the mother.

Both the mother and the father, as well as close friends and relatives, affect the growth of the
soul, and they all play a part in programming its inner subconscious nature before actual
incarnation. Of course the two who play the biggest role in forming the soul’s four lower bodies
are the parents, with the mother foremost. The fetus is physically anchored within the mother,
and therefore every thought, feeling and emotion is directly transferred to the fetus through this
intimate connection.
Abortion
This leads us to one of the most controversial issues of our time — that of abortion. There is a
great deal of confusion about whether one is committing murder in the process of aborting a
child. The ultimate answer is an unequivocal no. However, in having an abortion, you are, in
fact, aborting a process in which the soul is deeply involved. It is not an issue to be taken lightly,
for an abortion does indeed have an impact on the soul. This soul is tied to the mother and is
indeed impacted by the thought forms and feeling world of the mother. If one is considering an
abortion, one must be sensitive to this fact. Although we do not have the power to kill the soul,
we do have the power to disrupt the functions of that soul while it is engaged in the process of
building the vehicles of expression on Earth.

If one chooses to have an abortion, it is vital to send messages to the soul, telling it that it is not
that it is unwanted or unloved, but that you are making the best decision you can for all
concerned. Ask it to detach itself from the building process, then let it go with love and
blessings. Talk to that soul and tell it that you will meet again at a more appropriate time and that
you are releasing it to seek another vehicle with which to continue its rounds of birth. Be sure to
communicate that you are letting go with love and to ask that soul to do the same. Having made
that decision, proceed to act with love, then let go and truly get on with the next phase of your
life.

This is not a choice to make lightly, but having done so, do not carry any form of guilt around
with you. As you have released the soul, likewise release yourself from feelings of blame. You
simply do not have the power to kill the soul. Ultimately, it is at the moment of birth that true
joining between soul and its vehicles occurs, and even that proceeds in stages. Nevertheless, it is
at birth that the soul enters incarnation. Therefore, if you have had to make this choice, please
know in your heart that the soul is free, and that you should likewise be free to pursue your life.

There is one other important point you should be aware of. Sometimes a soul will choose
consciously to participate in the building of the vehicles with full and complete knowledge that
this process will be aborted. That is because this soul has chosen to work off a certain portion of
its karma in this way. This would likely be the case when that soul is consciously on the path of
ascension, aware of karma and choosing to work through all of it as quickly as possible. This
type of ultra short incarnation would also include many crib deaths and spontaneous abortions.

Late-Term Abortion
I specifically asked the Hierarchy for their view on the controversial issue of late-term abortions.
They told me they do not recommend this, as the bonds between fetus, soul and mother are very
strong at this point. However, neither do they judge it or considerate it sinful. They again bring
up the point that we are not yet dealing with the child, since the soul of that child will not fully
enter the body it has prepared until the time of birth. Therefore, they say, this should not be
thought of as murder, even though many people think of it as such. However, they acknowledge
the fact that the appearance of the fetus during these later stages is like that of the newborn. It is
quite understandable that viewing a developed fetus would cause some to think that they are
looking at an infant.
However, the Hierarchy would like us to look at the fetus through the eyes of our own higher
selves and monads. This would put us in touch with the dual nature of the effect that a late-term
abortion has on the soul. In late-term abortions, the process of building has gone on for an
extended period. A lot of work and connections have been made between the soul preparing the
bodies, the bodies themselves and the parents, especially the mother. This causes a wrenching
that early abortions do not, so they are not encouraged. But if one finds oneself in the
predicament of having to make such a decision, or if one has made this decision in the past,
remember to talk to that soul even if some years have passed, because the bond remains. Tell the
soul that you are releasing it in pure love and that you wish it to go forward in the light. Then
release it in love.

It is important that lightworkers do not allow themselves to see only through the limited lens of
the personality on such a delicate and sensitive issue. We are all souls and monads, and we shall
continue our path of evolution and ascension no matter what. The issue of abortion is not one to
be taken lightly, nor is it appropriate to view it from the perspective of the negative ego,
personality or lower self. In this, as in all aspects of your life, remain in integrity with yourself
and with God. Keep your motivations pure and loving, and trust that all will unfold in divine
order.

You can see how complex this matter is. View this and the upcoming topics through the greater
lens of soul, monadic and cosmic perception. We must keep in mind that we are not simply
dealing with children, but with souls who have come into incarnation through us. We are also
dealing with the unseen inner child who lives within each of us. The ideal is to use the best
means available to parent both our inner child and the children whose care has been entrusted to
us.

Prebirth Environment and Communication

We now have scientific proof that certain physical substances affect the growing fetus, including
cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Food impacts the fetus positively or negatively depending on the
type and quality of the food. We are also becoming increasingly aware that what we intake
spiritually, mentally and emotionally impacts the growing fetus. The soul who is building the
four lower bodies within the womb of the mother can be considered in much the same way we
would an infant, in terms of the type of environment we provide.

The impact of vibration is very important to the growing fetus, so noise pollution should be
avoided whenever possible. In its place one can listen to soft, beautiful music, perhaps even
placing the speakers of the stereo player near the belly of the mother. In this manner both parent
and child can experience the energy of such music. The fetus will pick up the harmonious
vibrational frequencies, which aids the soul in building its vehicle of expression. In addition, the
mother will be transmitting vibrationally her own peaceful feelings to the fetus in her womb.

Prebirth communication between parents and child has a far-reaching effect. We are dealing with
the idea of a soul being linked to the fetus rather than the fetus being one’s child. Nevertheless,
the bonding between the lower bodies, the soul itself and the parents is so deep that one should
act as if it is the whole child with whom they are communicating. This is a good example of how
two truths can be integrated when, in speaking of the unborn infant, we include both the soul
participating in the building process and the manifestation of that building process. So as you
read this subsection, bear in mind that the term “unborn infant” applies to both the soul and the
fetus.

The inner subconscious and conscious nature of the mother is in moment-to-moment communion
with the unborn infant. Every fluctuation of mood, every modality of thinking, every surge of
emotion, is transferred vibrationally to the infant growing within her. We briefly mentioned
sound in the context of beautiful music, referring to specific works played to the unborn on a
short-term basis. If this has such a profound effect, just think what an exposure to beautiful
classical music on a longer-term basis would do to create an atmosphere of harmony.

But the personal taste of the mother also needs to be considered. If she does not find this type of
music to her personal liking yet feels that she should play it for her unborn infant, the infant will
be getting vibrational impacts of negativity from the mother. In this case, that type of music
would not be recommended. This would only cause a battle of energies between the healing
quality of the music and the energies of distaste from the parent. That is why we seldom like to
give hard and fast rules, because each individual person must be honored. We advise the parents
to find music that is not only harmonious to them but also beneficial to the infant. There would
then be only one harmonious vibration transmitted by the parents and the music, thus achieving
the desired effect.

People often wonder what the effect of reading to an unborn infant is. The answer is twofold. On
one hand, the soothing sounds of a parent’s voice gently enfold the infant in a feeling of restful
calm. It is not the words themselves that matter as much as the tone in which they are read. Of
course, whatever one chooses to read should be positive and harmonious. One might consider
reading from sacred scriptures or poetry or from “new thought” writings, all of which generate a
spiritual tone and feeling. This will reach your unborn infant, who will be uplifted by it. A
second benefit of reading to an infant in the womb is that the parent aids the soul in building its
mental vehicle. This will add to what the soul brings to the mental vehicle, thus accelerating the
mental processes.

Through exposing the infant in utero to uplifting music and literature, it will be stimulated in
mental, emotional and spiritual areas. This aids the soul in developing all the bodies and enables
the higher self and monad to more readily find a point of access on the earthly realms. Most of
this will be affected by the evolution of the soul coming into incarnation, but that soul can be
aided greatly by the energies transmitted to the unborn infant through the efforts of the parents.

The reader must be made aware that because the human condition is as it is, there is of necessity
a vibrational wall of protection that surrounds the unborn infant. This does not limit the benefits
of communicating with the infant, but it does act as a cushion against constant onslaughts of a
negative-ego-based parent and environment. Although it does not make them immune to
outbursts of anger and violence, a certain shielding does take place, or else many fetuses would
never reach full term.

Remember also that this soul is linked with its appropriate parents so that the vibrations imparted
to it through those parents are not alien to it. Fortunately, the fetus has some shielding from the
chaotic energies of such parents and other harsh stimuli so that it can grow and develop. And the
womb itself creates a fluid environment in which the physical form can safely come to term.

To parents who are bringing the new-age child into incarnation, it is suggested that they ask God
and the masters to place a special protective grid around the unborn infant. This is often done
even without the request of the parents, as the frequencies of the incarnating soul are such that
some of the harsher elements in the Earth’s vibrational sphere could throw its work off balance
and cause a great disturbance and discomfort to that soul. But this grid activation is more quickly
and completely anchored around the unborn infant if the parents request it. I also suggest that
each parent make this request again after the birth of the child for extra protection.

Throughout the pregnancy, harmony between the parents should be maintained whenever
possible. No anger, shouting or abusive language should be exchanged. Of course, this is an
ideal, but at all times we should strive for it, especially during this stage of the parenting process.
As much as possible, this type of attitude should be maintained during the birthing process and
carried forward into infancy, throughout childhood and into adulthood. This is an ideal, again,
but what better motivation is there to move toward this ideal than at the time of bringing forth a
soul in its new journey on Earth!

Birthing in Water and Welcoming with Love

The Hierarchy tells me that water birth is a wonderful way in which to welcome the newborn
into the world of matter. Water’s fluidity is reminiscent of the subtler realms from which the soul
has come. And of course the fetus has spent nine months surrounded by fluid. So the child born
through the process of water-birthing will find itself in a familiar and embracing environment in
which it can acclimate to the Earth plane. The four lower bodies as well as the soul entering the
plane of dense matter will appreciate this method of coming into the world. With water-birthing,
there is far less shock to the newborn than is encountered by birthing in most other ways. The
gentle touch of water is familiar and comforting. One must remember how long the fetus has
been immersed in water and how accustomed to fluid the soul is, not to mention the fact that the
human body itself is composed mostly of water.

Of course, this might not be the appropriate choice for every couple. What is appropriate and
essential for every birthing process is that the child be welcomed into the world with the utmost
love and joy. Whenever possible, the child should be placed on the mother’s abdomen to
continue the bonding process that has begun on inner realms and cement it on the earthly realm.
Then the mother should hold the infant to her breast and envelop it with love. The father should
also immediately hold the infant against his heart in order to bond further and to envelop the
newborn with love. Whether through water birth or other methods, both the mother and the
father need the time immediately after the birth to hold the infant to their hearts and welcome it
with love.

An Esoteric View of the Birth Process

Let us now look at the birthing process from an esoteric standpoint. Again, we are not really
dealing with babies, although the physical form is indeed that of a tiny newborn infant. What we
are encountering are souls — and ultimately monads — using the process of incarnation to
further themselves upon the path of ascension. However, the process of birth, just like the
process of so-called death, puts that soul in touch with certain aspects of itself in a unique way.

In actuality, the process we call death is a simple matter compared to what we call birth. In the
former, there is a liberation from the dense forms of matter, whereas in the latter there is a
confinement within dense matter. From the esoteric point of view, the processes of birth and
death are completely reversed in the perception of those who dwell in the worlds of form. Yet
both are indeed divine processes, parts of the same whole. And both contribute equally to
building the divine qualities into the individualized soul and monad. Upon its return to the
greater monadic groupings and to God, the soul brings with it all that it has incorporated during
its many sojourns in the worlds of matter. Thus it enriches both itself and the whole, which we
call God.

Birth Bardo
There is a birth bardo that each soul goes through that is similar to that of the death bardo. This
actually begins when the soul first connects with the newly formed fetus at the time of
conception. At this time the soul is shown the various karmic connections it has with its new
family. It is also shown the opportunities it will be given, certain astrological trends, world trends
and its purpose for this lifetime. The reason it is coming into the world through the two parents it
has chosen will become increasingly clear. The arena of friends, work and physical environment
will flash before its inner eye.

During the birth process, the soul looks on all this in one last attempt to hold to its vision and
reason for coming into form. The soul will desire to hold to this vision, but it will not be able to
do so, for it must be free to experience the world anew in each incarnation. This will change as
the Earth and the souls evolving here gain ever greater light and love and as the vibrational
frequency of the planet as a whole is raised. But for the time being, the soul must forget, at least
consciously, most of its past and future visions.

This causes the soul a great deal of pain, as it seeks to keep its ever-shrinking vistas of
illumination open. This causes less pain for less developed souls, because many of their
aspirations are tied to physical existence, as they are more comfortable within the confines of the
four lower bodies. There is always a degree of discomfort in coming from the more bountiful
into the more limited, however, and fitting oneself into the infant form always takes some
adjustment.

So a certain degree of trauma is always associated with the process of being born. Some of this is
inherent in the birthing process itself, but much can be averted if the birth occurs in as loving and
supportive an environment as possible. Nevertheless, a certain degree of trauma is experienced
when coming into the limitations of the four-body system and feeling the physical shock of
entering into this vibrational sphere.

Past-Life Effect on Infant and Parents

The past lives of the incarnating soul have an impact on the infant. Past lives have not only
contributed to where and to whom the infant is born, but they have a direct bearing on the lives
of both infant and parents. For example, in some cases, all the souls involved will have agreed
that the most rapid way to work through certain karma is by having the unborn infant
spontaneously abort, be stillborn or depart through a crib death. I realize how traumatic this is
from an earthly point of view, and I am not attempting to suggest that anyone who has had this
type of experience even remotely try to deny it, let alone suppress the powerful and painful
impact of such an experience.

However, I present these situations from the viewpoint that the Hierarchy presented them to me,
which will give you the freedom to incorporate this understanding into your experience. Because
of the pain of such an event, both the parents and the soul who was or would have been the infant
of these parents rapidly work through much karma. The Hierarchy seeks to impart this expanded
vision to you. They also wish to make you aware that despite the fact that we are ultimately
dealing with souls and monads, some will choose to remain in baby or child form when they pass
into the inner planes at a young age. This can occur if both that soul and its parents have the need
for a parent/child love connection to be worked out on the inner planes.

If such is the case, rest assured that the infant or child on the inner realms will be taken to an
appropriate place where it is cared for and watched over until the parents make their transition.
Once that occurs, they are reunited and have the chance to enact on inner spheres what was
abruptly cut short on Earth. Please know that if you are one who has suffered the earthly loss of a
child, you will find that child again in the inner realms. That one will be there waiting for you,
just as it is never far from you while you remain on Earth. This can be a most difficult trial
indeed, but the Hierarchy requests your trust that all will be healed and made whole.

Others will choose to return to the adult soul consciousness when the transition happens in
infancy or before birth. Remember that they are souls just as you are, and nothing in heaven or
Earth can, or wants to, keep you apart. You will be together, for such is the law of love.

The Permanent Atoms

This topic relates to building the four lower vehicles, which will ultimately come to expression
when the baby is born. During each of our incarnations, we as souls are constantly rebuilding and
restructuring our bodies by the work we do on them from a spiritual point of view. Much of what
we call karma we have built into the permanent atoms of the physical, etheric, emotional and
mental bodies. These are our own individualized and encoded inner-plane karmic recording
devices for each of our bodies. These wait to be called forth into incarnation when we again take
form as individualized souls.

In a sense, we build ourselves out of ourselves. Put another way, we build our bodies out of the
substance of our bodies and the semipermanent vibrational frequencies and imprints on our
permanent atoms. The reason I say semipermanent is that in the case of a liberated or fully
ascended soul and monad, what is brought forth comes exclusively from the causal and monadic
realms. Such a one is veritably freed from the lower worlds and all the karma thereof. Such a one
functions out of the mayavarupa body.

It is vital to bear in mind, however, the place of these permanent atoms, as they hold our imprints
and structure our bodies based on what we have built into them. This is true, although on a
higher level and turn of the spiral, we build our bodies on what we have contributed to the causal
and monadic vehicle. Although the permanent atoms will not be brought into play in an
incarnating ascended being, because so much of what one has done is stored within those atoms,
this information is transferred into the higher components of the ascended being. These
permanent atoms thus have a lasting effect on all our sojourns into the world of form. They do
not have the same effect on a liberated ascended master that they do on one traversing the path
toward liberation. But since what has been built in the past transfers to the higher self and
eventually to the monad, these permanent atoms always function, though they function quite
indirectly in the later stages of our unfoldment. The saying that nothing is ever lost has a
profound meaning when looked at in relation to the permanent atoms.

I find it quite amusing to note just how complex are the processes of birth, death and parenting.
Yet how ultimately simple it really is once we understand that all of it is a cosmic play in which
we, as souls and monads, get to play the role of parent and child again and again until we fully
and finally ascend. Then we realize the wonder of the illusion of it all, and we honor the great
wisdom that has been garnered in our play through these realms of illusion. The paradox is quite
awesome, and I cannot help but call to mind that glorious phrase from the Bhagavad-Gita ,
“While pervading the universe with my being, yet I remain.” What is true for God is true for the
children of God, and thus we move through the various roles each lifetime assigns to us, yet
always we remain monads. From a cosmic perspective, one might say that in truth there is no
such thing as children, but rather souls incarnating into babies’ bodies.

The Blank-Slate Theory

Some earlier schools of psychology and philosophy declared that children were born as blank
slates. Of course this is complete nonsense. Every child has likely had over 200 adult past lives
and is therefore born with unique personalities, gifts and tendencies. The job of the ideal parent
is to guide and direct, but also to allow the unique wisdom of the soul of the child to unfold
according to its inner direction.

Taking into account all that has been said in regard to karma, picking one’s parents, permanent
atoms and the entire range of subject matter covered in this chapter, the idea of a child being a
blank slate is so far from truth that it would not be worth mentioning were it not a belief still held
by many. God is all, and all those who incarnate are aspects of God unfolding, evolving into
greater and greater aspects of what they ultimately are. Therefore, if you are a parent, enjoy your
role to the fullest, but never forget that you are dealing with a soul on a long journey who has
taken form through you. This soul will grow and evolve back from whence it came — God. You
are sharing coparenting responsibilities not only with your spouse, but also with the child’s
oversoul and mighty I Am Presence!

It Takes a Village
Hillary Clinton wrote a wonderful little book called It Takes a Village . She is right in one sense,
for the village or community serves as a support system for the child and the parents. This
includes grandparents, extended family members, teachers, ministers and rabbis, baby-sitters and
neighbors. From an ascended-master perspective, Hillary Clinton is totally right, for we are
speaking here of group consciousness.

Paramahansa Yogananda said that the single most important factor in the spiritual path until total
mastery is obtained is one’s environment. If a child is constantly corrupted by the “village,” it
makes the parents’ job exceedingly difficult. We are always dealing with groups and group
bodies. This is a cosmic fact to which we become increasingly more attuned as we evolve.
However, nowhere is it more evident on Earth than in the care and nurturing of our children.

The Hierarchy’s View on Spanking

From a hierarchical point of view, spanking is not recommended. There are, of course, times
when a light slap on the bottom is appropriate, but this should always be as a call to attention
rather than to inflict pain. It should never be done when the parent is angry or out of control. The
masters tell me that it appears quite ludicrous when they observe an out-of-control parent whose
negative ego is running amuck, slapping a child in an attempt to control the child who is out of
control and running amuck!

The ideal would be to refrain from this type of punishment totally, as it cannot help but give the
child the message that physical pain is a way to get what one person (the stronger one) wants
from another (the weaker one). A child must be guided and disciplined by way of example,
communication, tone of voice and natural consequences.

In our interactions with our children, we make lasting impressions, as they are quite vulnerable
to the adult world. By no means should anyone other than the parents slap a child, the more
obvious examples being teachers, baby-sitters, ministers, nuns or rabbis. This surely conveys to
the child that the outer world operates through physical violence. The infliction of pain is
something that has no place in the Aquarian age.

The Hierarchy requests that parents take a good look at this issue in light of all that has been said
so that they can reevaluate, without guilt, past behavioral patterns. Then they can seek to align
themselves with the most effective ways to guide the souls entrusted to them, then align
themselves with the higher frequencies and the thrust toward wholeness and harmony that are
being brought forth on Earth at this time.

Letting Go of Parenting Roles

One of the more difficult things for a parent to do, yet one that ultimately must be done to one
degree or another, is letting go of the role of parent. That does not mean that all parental
expressions and instincts should cease. It merely means that there comes an appropriate time for
the parent to fully recognize the child as an adult and give him or her the respect and freedom
they give to any other adult. Put simply, there comes a time when continuing to play mom or dad
is quite inappropriate.

It is the tendency of parents to want to overparent and continue a level of parenting that becomes
unhealthy to child and parent alike. While doing the utmost to be the best possible parent to your
children, you should always remember that those you call your children are, in truth, God’s
children. They are souls incarnate, and you must allow them to grow up as children of God.
Obviously I am not referring to the young child, but rather to the young adults and adults who
have their own unique destiny to fulfill within the plan of God. These adult offspring will benefit
greatly from your support, but they must be free to follow the calling of their souls and try out
their own wings.

This should be fairly easy to grasp, as most of us are both parent and child, and all of us are
children to our parents. As children of all ages, we know how uncomfortable it felt if we were
overparented by our own parents and how we ached to grow up and function as adults. Some of
us, no matter how old we are, are still engaged in the battle of separation from overprotective or
meddling parents. For this reason, we should be able to see clearly enough how important it is to
release our children at the appropriate time and allow them to pursue their divine destiny without
interference and with our total support.

Granted, this is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is one of the most important things we
can do for both our children and ourselves. As parents, if we get too tied to our children, we will
not follow our own divine calling or feel the freedom to take the needed steps on our own path of
ascension. As children, if we remain too tied to our parents, we will not exercise our freedom to
follow our hearts and claim our own divinity. Our task lies in finding that point of balance
between being both child and parent and in owning our own divine birthrights as sons and
daughters of the Most High. All parenting is coparenting with God. And don’t forget that your
child has had hundreds of other sets of parents from previous incarnations.

The best way to facilitate a healthy relationship with your maturing children is through open and
honest communication. Take the high road and endeavor to truly listen to one another,
communicating from the level of your soul and your I Am Presence. Great strides can be made
when communication occurs from spirit to spirit. All parents and children are children of God,
and all deserve the respect of the divine beings that we are.

The child constantly serves as teacher to the parent. There is really no clear delineation as to who
is child and who is parent in the larger sense. Just as we are at once both student and teacher, so
are we likewise both parent and child. Toward the end of our lives the roles often become
reversed on the physical plane, as those we term the elderly begin a process of drawing inward
and in many cases become as little children. Their care then falls to us.

With certain nutritional and health discoveries, however, as well as the process of ascension, the
physical aging process will become increasingly obsolete. Nevertheless, we have done this
reverse parenting for ages, so it does bear noting. The higher we ascend, the more light and love
will be able to find expression in these relationships as in all aspects of our lives.

The Mother/Son or Father/Daughter Relationship in Couples

There are romantic relationships in which the mother/son or father/daughter theme is the basis of
the relationship. This does not refer to those relationships where one of you is better at finances
and earning the daily bread while the other holds a more home-based focus. I am addressing here
the unhealthy playing-out of unresolved parent/child scenarios within a romantic relationship.
This type of theme is usually not very successful, even if it appears to be for a while. Sometimes
these relationships go on for years, but ultimately one or the other awakens to what has been
occurring and usually with a great deal of resentment.

If you find yourself in this type of relationship, it is important to understand that you are both
participating in it, as it is apparently fulfilling a mutual need. There is no one person at fault here.
In fact, neither is at fault. What must be looked at are unhealthy patterns that are within your
power to correct and uplift by bringing them into the light and working them through. Most of us
engage in this type of relationship at one time or another. However, the sooner we realize that
there are core issues within our programming that need addressing, the more quickly we can deal
with them.

If you are a couple involved in this scenario, counseling would serve you well, provided you find
a therapist or counselor who works from a spiritual as well as a psychological base. You can then
set about exploring your need to function in whatever role you have assumed and get to the root
of the issue that prevents you from being, and functioning as, an integrated whole. This again
boils down to being right with self and with God. Romantic relationships are wonderful areas in
which to see whether we are right with ourselves so that we can make the needed adjustments.
Trying to make our partner either our parent or our child is a signal that we are not right with
ourselves.

True integration can occur only when you are willing to look at what is keeping you from
expansion and integration. As well, there must be a willingness to work with the tools that allow
you to heal limiting patterns and move into being whole within yourself. The goal, then, is to
find the healthiest integration of self in all four lower bodies as well as the soul and monad.

God, the Ultimate Parent

If we are to see ourselves as children of God, then it is God indeed who is the ultimate parent.
Father/Mother God does the ultimate parenting, and that parenting manifests from within our
very own souls and monads. However, it is a tricky business to allow God or our monads to
function as the ultimate parent.

First and foremost, we must be careful not to make God into our preconceived notion of what we
think a parent is or should be. For instance, those of us raised by strict father figures whose lack
of self-esteem made them behave as a tyrant, might tend to make God into a strict judgmental
figurehead. Conversely, we may try to make God into the parent that enforces no discipline at
all, who lets us think that we could get away with murder. This parent would allow us to act out
whatever we pleased, due to perhaps very low self-esteem on their part. We therefore grew up
thinking we could do whatever we wanted with no consequences whatsoever.

We must bear in mind that we are not here to limit the limitless and fit God into our childhood
programming. We are here to explore our God-selves from the highest possible vantage point
and allow our I Am Presence to communicate directly to us the nature and intent of God in as
inclusive a way as possible. Then we must be willing to expand our vision and widen our lens in
order to experience ever deeper and vaster aspects of the One.

The second area where seeing God as parent becomes tricky is with our tendency to view God
through the lens of the religion in which we were raised. We may try to squeeze God into the
limiting mold of that viewpoint. We must be mindful of this so that our experience of God and
truth can be as limitless and pure as possible. Therefore, in order to evolve within Father/Mother
God as souls and monads, we must allow ourselves the freedom to clear out our faulty belief
systems. We can call upon God and the masters to help us with this process.

There is no limit to the limitlessness that is God, nor is there a ceiling covering the heights at
which we may know Him. We are children of God and there is naught that Father/Mother God
will not reveal or give to us, the children of the One. We must free ourselves from our
preconceptions, know ourselves to be the monads, the sparks of God that we are, and seek
communion with the One who is the very essence of ourselves. The Bhagavad-Gita says, “God
is Brahman and that thou art.” Christ/Lord Maitreya has said, “I and the Father are one.” The
scriptures say, “Ye are sons and daughters of the Most High.” The Huna teachings of Hawaii
refer to the higher self as the Aumakua, which means the utterly trustworthy parental self.
Ideally, we are meant to parent our physical children and ourselves in the way that our higher
self parents us.

Let us therefore know ourselves as one with the One. Through the ascension process, through
study, meditation and clearing, and with the help of God and the masters, we ever expand in
uniting our consciousness with the consciousness of the One. We will then know ourselves as we
truly are, and we will merge with the light, love, power, glory, peace, joy and wisdom that God is
and that we are. This is both our birthright and our destiny!
9
The True Meaning of Marriage
Making a Commitment
Marriage is an inner commitment made between two people. It is a commitment to be life
partners, to love and support one another unconditionally, for better or worse. This is not to say
that divorce does not have its place, but it will be discussed later in this chapter. The focus in
marriage at its highest level is love and commitment.

Whether or not the marriage takes the traditional legal form is up to the couple. However, that
“piece of paper,” as it has been referred to in recent times, has its meaning and place. In a like
manner, so does the wedding band, symbol of the complete circle of the bond between two
people. So too does the marriage ceremony, whether traditional or not. I am not saying that these
traditions are right for every couple, but that there is significance in these traditional forms.
These are outer symbols of an inner commitment and something most sacred indeed.

Depending on the two people involved, the sacredness of their union might be much deeper than
that of those who choose the more traditional path of marriage, as the true nature and degree of
sacredness lies within the hearts and spirits of the couple. The marriage ceremony has a
wonderful place, however, and it need not be thrown out when two people seek a deeper
understanding of commitment. That would be akin to throwing the baby out with the bath water,
and that is not the divine intent.

The divine intent that is the cornerstone of all marriages, whether traditional or nontraditional, is
that a high level of unconditional love and commitment be upheld and that the couple entering
into such a sacred union does so with purity of heart, mind and spirit.

Gay Marriages
Humanity’s opinions concerning homosexuality in general range from seeing it as the deepest sin
to being avid supporters of gay marriages. Of course, humanity has its opinions about
everything, so I asked the masters their viewpoint on this controversial issue. Their answers
might surprise many. Certainly, they will delight the gay couple, and I sincerely hope they will
shed some light on this issue for humankind in general, and more particularly, for the families
and friends of gay couples.

The masters have said that, from a hierarchical point of view, they are in total support of gay
marriages. Perhaps this sounds shocking to some, but take a moment to consider. The Hierarchy
views us as souls (and ultimately as monads) in incarnation. They view each incarnation as an
opportunity for growth, wherein the soul extensions and their monads come into a greater
balance and unity with their own divine nature.

This is done more commonly through the mating of soul extensions of opposite gender in order
to balance the male/female polarities within each person and within the group body of the
couple. However, this is not always the case, as sometimes two souls (I shall hereafter refer to
soul extensions as souls) come into incarnation with a more fully balanced male/female polarity
already operative within them. This does not mean that they are more advanced than the rest of
us, but simply that this is their mission for a particular incarnation. These pairs of opposites have
taken a unique blending pattern within these individuals. This is not to be judged one way or
another, but is simply a fact.

There are many subtle facets to the homosexual personality, and most gay individuals have
suffered unduly at the hands of judgmental humanity. This is not divine intent, nor should
heterosexuals be judgmental. We all tend to judge because we have been taught to judge and
because whatever seems to function outside the norm is somehow upsetting and unsettling to
humanity in general. This should not and need not continue. We, as lightworkers, have a greater
responsibility to accept what is outside the norm, for if we were to take a good, honest look at
ourselves, we would be astonished at just how outside the norm most of humanity considers us!

As for homosexual marriages, the Hierarchy is very much in favor of our forming group bodies
that are committed in love to one another. They do not say that all gay couples should enter into
an official marriage relationship, but that they should have the right to do so if they choose, the
same as any other couple. It is always the intent that they look for, and the level of love and
commitment between the partners is their primary concern. The Hierarchy finds that official
ceremonies can be of enormous value because they anchor on the physical realm what has been
created between the two upon the etheric, astral and mental realms. They encourage all couples
to at least consider this. They feel that all couples, gay or straight, should have the freedom to
decide their own paths. Remember, “Judge not lest ye be judged” applies in this and all matters.

“For Better or for Worse”

Let us now consider one of the more traditional wedding vows, which includes the phrase “for
better or for worse.” Does this include abusive relationships? The answer is no, as no one should
ever be subjected to the abuse of another. Does this mean that divorce is not an option? No,
because there are indeed occasions where divorce is the best available option. What about
psychic attack or disharmony? No, because no one should live with constant psychic attack. So
we might ask, just what does the phrase “for better or for worse” refer to?

The underlying meaning of the phrase is that we do not simply bail out the minute our egos are
offended or called to task. Only a short time ago people were not able to get out of a marriage
situation as quickly as we do now. There is indeed a time when it might become totally
appropriate to end the marriage or relationship for a variety of reasons, but the head-butting of
the negative ego is not one of them.

Marriage, or any committed relationship, is not to be taken lightly. One does not vow to remain
wed “as long as you shall remain in total agreement with me and support the indulging of my
negative ego.” Yet this is the scenario that humanity as a whole currently supports, and it is truly
antithetical to the very purpose of relationship, which is to bond in love for the support of each
other on every level of our being. Ultimately, the purpose is also to help each other overcome the
trappings of the negative ego by bringing those issues to light and working through them.
Through the lens of those on the path of ascension, this becomes an even more critical issue.

If we are lucky enough to find a life mate or marriage partner, we can be an invaluable aid to
each other on our pathway of ascension into the light. We form a unique group body of two and
are a spiritual team, being ascension buddies in the fullest sense. We each benefit from the
advancements of the other. The more light and love quotient our partner brings forth, the more
that is brought into the group body as a whole. The more clearly one of us can see, the clearer the
vision of the whole. We are there to help sand smooth the rough spots within our auras and
caress and embrace one another in love and support.

On one level this is infinitely easier than trying to do it all by yourself. In today’s world there are
so many bases that need covering, it is a blessing to have a partner to share in the basic work of
daily living. It is also a blessing to have the added spiritual support, as traversing these realms is
by no means a simple matter. Bringing in ever higher, more intense quotients of love, light and
power puts the four lower bodies into a constant state of readjustment to these new energies. This
frequently leads to a greater sensitivity in the physical body as it struggles to anchor these divine
and rarefied energies into the dense form of matter. Thus a partnership can be of great value in a
multitude of ways to those of us who tread the path of spirit on Earth.

When a Relationship Ends

There might come a time when what once worked to uplift no longer works to either uplift or
support, and a separation might become inevitable. However, before discussing this, let me
reiterate that this is not a matter to be taken lightly. Everything should be done to try and work
through issues, as issues in general go hand and hand with being in a romantic relationship in the
first place. Bringing into the light the darkness that lies hidden within our depths is one of the
major benefits of a relationship.

It is important that this not be the result of a negative-ego battle if you do decide to separate.
Rather, it needs to be because you have deemed it appropriate in a calm, rational, loving manner.
If all marriages and partnerships were to end because two negative egos were in disagreement
with one another, all marriages and partnerships would end this instant. Unfortunately, all too
often a relationship ultimately ends over negative-ego conflicts. As lightworkers and beings on
the path of ascension, I ask that this not be the case with you.

If you are meant to end a relationship, or if you choose to do so for the good of all concerned, do
so with integrity of spirit and work to keep the voices of the negative ego to a minimum.
Knowing ourselves as souls and monads, let us work to come together and stay together. If we
are guided to part, let us do so as souls and monads and not as negative egos running amuck. We
owe it to ourselves and to each other to always function from the highest possible place
regardless where that place eventually brings us. If we stay true to our soul and monad, we will
stay true to God and ourselves. Then all our actions will remain true to the all-pervasive love and
light which, in essence, we are.
When Divorce is the Best Option
There are, of course, times when to divorce is the best possible option. Following are some
examples of when this may be the case: (a) The differing elevator syndrome has reached such
great proportions that the couple can no longer see eye to eye, much less soul to soul. (b) There
is either physical or psychic abuse. (c) The karma between two individuals has run its course,
and there remains nothing left to bond them together. (d) The apparent destiny of the couple
seems to lie in completely opposite directions. (e) The particular work the two came together to
do is at an end, and both the ties of work and the feelings of being in love seem complete.

Sometimes couples will divorce because of sexual betrayal, which the injured partner cannot, or
will not, see beyond. In such a case the couple might feel that the entire bond of trust between
them has been violated beyond repair. We can see that there are a great many reasons why
people choose to separate and/or divorce.

I would like to offer some ideas on how best to handle these situations. First and foremost, you
should part as you came together — with love in your heart. This is often not easy, and in some
cases it might seem quite impossible. But in the long run, if that place of loving can be found, it
will serve as the healthiest pathway for both you and your partner to continue with your lives.

There is no greater bond than love, save anger. If anger and resentment are held onto, the two of
you will remain bound in a psychic war that I can assure you neither of you wants or needs. If
this is not resolved, it can bind you together to the wheel of reincarnation, but if you can find that
place of unconditional love and forgiveness within yourselves, both of you will fare far better for
it. If the two people can release each other in love, there will be a clarity and a cleanness between
you that will be of great benefit not only in this lifetime, but in many lifetimes to come.

If just one of you can do this, you are, in effect, doing this on behalf of the whole. Then if your
former mate holds onto anger and resentment, it will be more or less the sound of one hand
clapping. It will find no resonance within you and will ultimately cease to be. But it is a good
idea to ask for protection from your higher self and the masters if you know that there is one who
holds deep anger toward you. This will act as further protection against the person’s negative
emotional and mental thought forms, until he or she gets tired of holding them against you who
refuse to hold such thought forms.

By clinging fast to unconditional love no matter what, you will be clinging to truth itself, and to
God. You will be remaining in integrity with yourself and with God, therefore, and your path
shall not falter. It is easier for some to get through separation and/or divorce than for others. This
depends on many factors, including what prompted the separation in the first place. No matter
how hard it is for you to bear, however, the call to hold your mind steady in the light remains
valid and of utmost importance, as does the call to remain in unconditional love. If you can do
these two things, the better able you will be to weather any storm and enjoy all the sunrises of
your life!

Recommitting to the Commitment

Often one issue or another brings a couple to the brink of divorce, but rather than taking that
option, they choose to take inventory of the relationship — to reevaluate, elevate and recommit.
This can be done informally, or it can be done formally through participating in the ceremony of
marriage again. For those who have lived many years as an unmarried couple, this may well be
the time to commit to one another formally. The option to recommit to a relationship is certainly
worth considering. In some cases it can serve as a tool to elevate a marriage on the brink of
divorce.

Sometimes just by virtue of being together over a long period of time, a romantic relationship
will seem to have dried up. This not only happens with sex, but also in such areas as taking an
interest in what your partner is doing, making real attempts at communication and, in fact, just
knowing what the other person is all about. There might be no great crisis, yet the need to
recommit in these areas is as strong as it is for the couple that is experiencing major upheaval.

In my experience as a marriage counselor, nothing has quite the impact of getting remarried or
stating vows of recommitment in one way or another. This gives the couple a chance to really
look at things and see them as they are as well as how they would like them to be. If there are
any overt issues, such as in the case of adultery, this is the time for a fresh beginning with a new,
deeper and hopefully lasting commitment of trust being made between the two partners. This
will take some work, to say the least, but it offers the opportunity to make that new commitment
of trust and for that new commitment to be accepted and implemented between the partners.

This type of remarriage, or restating of vows, also allows any hidden or suppressed issues of a
more subtle nature to be brought into the light. For instance, if one partner feels that the other is
totally uninterested in his/her work, this inner feeling can lead to outbursts of anger that seem to
come from nowhere. Taking inventory of their marriage gives the more aloof partner a chance to
see how his lack of interest is affecting his mate. He can then take steps to correct this by taking
a more active interest in his partner’s life. That partner would then be able to let go of the built-
up anger and hostility toward her mate and so would be less prone to inappropriate outbursts of
anger.

If you are in a committed relationship, you might want to give serious thought to restating your
vows of commitment. You are far clearer at this point about your needs and desires than when
you first fell in love and began your romantic bonding. Much can be stated now by virtue of the
increased awareness you gained through your years of being together and by your increased
maturity and understanding.

Another very important area is the sexual aspect of your relationship. During the honeymoon
phase this aspect usually takes care of itself. However, through the passage of time, raising
children, tending to your spiritual life and your careers, parenting of your own inner child and
maintaining your household and cars, sex is often relegated to an almost nonexistent status. I am
not now referring to couples who have made the choice to be celibate for a time in order to better
concentrate on raising their energies into the monad. However, these couples are not excluded
entirely from this discussion.

The Sexual Bond

Sexual contact is vital to maintaining the bond of intimacy in a relationship. Even for those
treading very lightly and conservatively in the sexual area, there must be some sort of contact.
Human beings, by our very nature, crave some kind of affection at all times. If we are in
relationship and have drifted far afield from this aspect of ourselves, the renewal of vows might
set the perfect atmosphere for a renewal in the area of romance. Whether or not you choose to
have this as a prime focus depends entirely on the joint needs and desires of the two people who
form that relationship.

But all couples need a little spark put back into the embers of a long-term relationship, no matter
how they choose to manifest that spark. Even for very spiritually centered people, it is not
recommended that they go longer than three months without sexual intimacy. This bonding is
important. In certain instances when one or both partners choose to live the life of the monk, they
might agree on refraining from sexual intimacy for as long as six months. After that it would be
best to keep sexual contact to no longer than three-month intervals.

For two highly sexual people who have let that aspect of their relationship fall by the wayside of
daily duties and/or spiritual aspirations, a recommittal and a second honeymoon might be just
what the doctor ordered. If, in the rewriting of your vows, there arise underlying issues that
contribute to your drifting apart in the sexual area, with that baggage out of the way, you can
now reembrace one another as new lovers. Taking a vacation or second honeymoon might be
ideal, as changing your physical setting can work magic in putting a spark back in your sexual
life and leaving behind the daily chores and concerns. However, if you are unable to do this, take
off a couple of days from the usual routine and devote it to dinner, candlelight, flowers and each
other. You will be pleasantly surprised just how quickly that tiny spark surges once more into the
flame of passion!

For those who are more or less on the celibate path, I would suggest using this time to make
some sort of sexual connection. You can do this through tantric means while in connection with
your monads and focusing mostly on love itself. However you choose to do it, make some sort of
connection. Sexuality is a wonderful way to rebond. If you are absolutely certain that you are in
a phase of no sexual contact, you can still take this time to express your genuine affection for one
another through touching, cuddling, holding hands and massage. I am not saying that everyone
must be sexually involved with their partners, but I do encourage even celibate couples to engage
in some type of sexual bonding, because it creates a certain type of intimacy between the partners
that is otherwise not expressed.

When the honeymoon is over, it is not recommended that sexual intimacy exceed three times a
week. It can occasionally, but if this becomes the norm it will keep the couple far too centered in
the energy of the second chakra. Having intercourse on a daily basis will do this to the extreme,
and it is therefore not recommended for those on the path of ascension. Each couple deserves a
honeymoon, but once it is over, sexuality should be integrated into the lives of the couple in a
balanced way and not become the all-consuming passion that it often is.

In summary, I recommend that couples who have been in a long-standing relationship consider
recommitting to each other by participating in a marriage renewal or rebirth. This can work
wonders in helping you get to the core of issues you may not even be aware of. You then can
work together to release them by making the necessary adjustments as you look deeply at
yourselves, both individually and within your group body of two. This might be a good time to
let go of the old and re-create the new.

A renewal will also serve to reconnect you in a deeper way and propel your relationship into new
heights and new depths. Just as no one needs to stay stuck in faulty thinking, no relationship
needs to remain stale and stagnant. Retaking your vows, recommitting to your commitment or
perhaps even stating your vows for the very first time, is the magic that can add new life and
luster to what feels a bit stale and brittle. I highly recommend this to all. Each couple is unique
and will do this in their own way according to their needs and inner guidance.
10
God, the Consummate Union
Ecstasy
Hilda Charlton, a wonderful spiritual teacher, once said that the ecstasy of God union far
surpasses any type of sexual union between man and woman. I was in my early twenties at the
time, and I was convinced that she was speaking purely metaphorically. I indeed had been
blessed with love unions between myself, God and certain masters, including Jesus/Sananda,
Lord Maitreya, Krishna and Kuthumi. This most accurately could be described as a great and
beatific heart expansion filled with overtones of falling in love again and again.

At that point I had not experienced any type of physical sensation, much less one that could be
likened to sexual orgasm. When Hilda talked about union with God, she said, “The ecstatic
energies of God run up your spine and fill every cell of your body.” But I could in no way
conceive of this being anything but a metaphor of expanding into the heart of God — until these
energies began to flow within my own body!

I must admit, I was not at all prepared for what I experienced. The first time it happened, and for
many years following, the point where I experienced these energies was in my heart chakra along
my spine, directly behind the physical heart. What I am describing to you is not of a
metaphorical nature. It was an experience of orgasm in the back of the heart chakra, but far more
powerful than anything I had experienced before. It was indeed everything that a second chakra
sexual orgasm feels like, except that it occurred in the fourth chakra.

This is not to say that expanding into the heart of God does not equally bring one into a state of
complete bliss. This will be discussed later in this chapter. But Hilda was quite right in telling us
that union with God far surpasses earthly sex. Ultimately, orgasm is experienced along the entire
spine, the head being the final point of climax!

What actually occurs is closely related to the kundalini rising from the base of the spine to the
top of the head. High frequencies are poured forth from the monad or from certain planetary or
cosmic masters. These energies activate the chakra system in the four lower bodies to bring
about this ecstatic experience. For centuries, Eastern traditions have taught that each of us
contains the blending of the Shiva/Shakti, yin/yang, masculine/feminine principles within
ourselves. Ecstatic experiences are one way that the union within us manifests.

Not everyone will experience this in the same way. Each of us is constituted differently, so each
person’s spiritual journey will be unique. This also applies to how the kundalini will move
through your own four-body system. If it does not happen in quite the way I have described, it
does not mean that you have not achieved this or that level. You might very well have surpassed
the level of one having these experiences, for your four-body system already might have
acclimated to this type of vibrational frequency, or this type of experience might manifest in a
unique way with you.

For those of you who are experiencing this type of phenomenon, however, I feel that it is quite
helpful to read about it, for often it is quite unexpected. Each time I had this type of ecstatic
experience, it took some getting used to. One evening I put on a tape of angelic music, lit some
incense, put on a small night light and intended to drift to sleep enveloped by the soft tones of
angel songs. However, this was not to be the case.

When the music began, I immediately felt it go straight to my head area. I then began to
experience what I can describe most accurately as wave after wave of orgasm generated within
my head. Even after my many and diverse experiences of this type, I admit to being a bit
overcome. The music played on, and for fifteen to twenty minutes these waves of energy
continued to flow. I sensed that the frequencies of the music were tapping into areas in my brain,
uplifting me to the realms of bliss. This type of sensation often occurs when I am in deep
meditation and/or listening within to the masters.

Please do not interpret this to be sexual in the usual sense. These experiences occur along the
spinal column when certain frequencies of energies are released from the base of the spine or
when they are being incorporated into the physical/etheric body from either the monad, the
masters or that indefinable essence we call God. Again, each body will assimilate these energies
in its own unique way, so do not think that this is something that must be experienced by
everyone. But if you do experience these sensations, it is always helpful to have some point of
reference.

The universe is filled with a great many surprises, as it should be, since we are all on the path of
cosmic discovery. However, it is of equal value to share our experiences so that we might be
better prepared for them and have the ease of knowing that much of what we experience is
common to many lightworkers, especially those rapidly advancing on the path of ascension.

Lost in Love, Found in Love

One of the more common experiences is the feeling of being in love with God or a particular
master or group of masters. Bhakti, or devotion, is quite a common practice in India, where the
objective is for the disciple to merge in love and devotion with his/her particular master. Thus
the lover and the beloved eventually become as one. In the case of Krishna (Lord Maitreya) or of
Sai Baba, it becomes immediately evident that to merge with them is indeed to merge with God.
Again, this is not unlike the experience of the Christian who, in love and devotion, seeks to
merge with the Christ and therefore with God.

Obviously, this type of union is one of the heart, wherein the gender of that divine being who is
upholding the sacred energy can be in either male or female form. There are many who take this
path to its heights and depths with Lord Sai Baba, who holds the highest light and love quotient
ever manifested on our planet. There are many who follow this bhakti path of devotion and
merge with Mother Mary and many who follow this path by way of the Christ. Some choose to
focus on either the divine Mother or the divine Father aspect of God. The point is that if you find
yourself in such a relationship with any of the planetary or cosmic masters, you will ultimately
merge with the God you are. Your own divinity is what they are representing to you, and the
embracing of that divinity in yourself is where they are leading you.

People who are devout followers of such a path, whether with an individual master or with God,
are often referred to as being God-intoxicated because the feeling accompanying such utter love
and devotion so fills the individual with the energies of love divine that the person appears to be
drunk on love. If you seek that experience of drunkenness, I would recommend this path most
highly. Actually, this path usually comes to one because there is a great bonding that exists and
has existed over many ages between master and disciple. It is actually a path that chooses you.

However, even as we are broadening our spectrum and seeking ever more and more the divine
within ourselves, we too can experience a bit of the divine nectar of such holy love. Take a
moment to focus on a being who represents to us this divine quality, such as Sai Baba, Mother
Mary or Lord Maitreya. We do not need to shift our focus away from the true path in order to
merge at more and more expansive levels within ourselves, but we can broaden our vistas to
incorporate the intimate connection with one or more masters in such divine union. It is a
wonderful way to expand and further open the heart space. The highest evolution of this path,
however, will lead one back to one’s own inner and direct connection with God. Thus it will lead
one to experience oneself as God.

The Marriage of Minds

With our ascension process as accelerated as it has become in recent times, many people are
experiencing a mental overshadowing, telepathic linkage or merging between their own minds
and the mind of a master or group of masters. Wisdom that has hitherto been unavailable to us is
now being poured into our minds at lightning speed. This is one of the reasons there is such an
abundance of channelers on Earth today. Many individuals are being put into telepathic rapport
with planetary and cosmic masters who had not previously been available to us. This is true of
the angelic kingdom as well, including the archangels themselves, and it also applies to certain
groups of positive extraterrestrials, such as the Arcturians and the Ashtar Command.

Individuals are coming into ever deeper levels of direct contact with their own souls and monads.
Thus they are finding that the clouds of unknowable things are suddenly clearing up. Looked at
through the lens of relationship, there is a blending of minds between higher beings and higher
aspects of ourselves that creates its own unique bond, union or marriage. So it is not only the
heart, but also the mind that is involved in the consummate union between individualized soul,
monad, master and God. There is a divine merging or marriage between advancing and
ascending humanity and God, the likes of which our small planet has never before known!

One very interesting aspect is the anchoring of the Avatar of Synthesis, or the 352 levels of the
Mahatma, within those who call it forth. This being is of such a vast and cosmic nature as to
extend through all levels of our existence up to the level of the Godhead Itself. But of course the
cosmos is structured in the “ask and ye shall receive” mode. So even a being of the magnitude of
the Mahatma waits to be invited before attempting to communicate with or use that individual as
a focus of his divine energies.

This appears paradoxical, as that which pervades the whole is itself already within it; on one
level, this is accurate. Yet in order to work with this divine being consciously, you must invoke it
yourself. I highly recommend asking for the Mahatma to be anchored and activated within you
so that you might advance more quickly through the levels of existence and therefore be of
greater service to the whole in the process. I call the Mahatma to your attention to show how far-
reaching and vast are the various aspects of God seeking expression through us at this time.

This is a time wherein the wisdom and love aspects of the universe truly seek to come to light
within the minds and hearts of humankind. People are filling the data banks of their minds with
more and more knowledge so that the masters can more easily access and transmit ever higher
and greater truths. The more familiar we are with any given subject, the more available and
accessible we are to the masters in their attempts to further enlighten us on the deeper meaning
and hidden nature of those subjects.

We can also ask the masters to place within our auric fields and etheric and mental bodies
packets of divine wisdom. These packets, having been anchored on the higher levels of mind,
can then be brought through us, with their help, into the denser aspects of mind, also known as
the plane of concrete mind. By now you can discern the give-and-take relationship we have with
the cosmos and those great beings who exist to serve us.

Sai Baba has said, “The mind can create bondage or the mind can create liberation.” It is
suggested that we all open our minds to the great downpour of wisdom now taking place.
Ultimate wisdom comes from within because when the masters speak to us, they speak in our
language and use metaphors and symbols that we best understand. However, if we want to hear
the masters and aspire to hear the voice of our own higher selves and monads, we must create the
space, time and openness to facilitate our listening.

True listening means stilling the concrete mind in order to hear the voice of the higher mind, the
monad or the masters. It involves letting go of preconceived ideas about the nature of things and
allowing the truth to be revealed. It involves inviting in the cosmic masters, such as
Melchizedek, Lord Metatron and the Mahatma. There is no ceiling to stop our growth except that
which our minds create. Therefore, let us make sure not to create limits for ourselves, as the vast
wisdom of the cosmos is waiting, wanting to be revealed.

Taking Time Alone

As with all relationships, as much fun as a couple might have with their close friends or
community, there are times when they need to be alone with one another. This same type of
aloneness in one’s relationship to God is equally essential. Getting together with groups of
people who are attuned spiritually is not only recommended, but also vital to world service work
and the advancing of one’s own ascension process. One is propelled by leaps and bounds by
group energy, but it is a must to spend time alone afterward in order to process what has
occurred.

Time spent alone on a daily basis is also crucial. One can do a lot of service work and even be
blessed with a spiritual mate, but at some point during the day or at the end of the day, it is
important to sit alone with the stillness to hear what the voice of the silence has to reveal.
Meditation is of enormous value in that its focus is to still the concrete mind and simply be.
Beingness itself is one of the main attributes of God. While it is true that God or the cosmos acts,
it is equally true that God or the cosmos acts from a state of pure beingness.

It is imperative, therefore, for each of us to learn to tap into that place where we simply are ,
where we can experience our own beingness. The true objective of meditation is to do just that,
to allow ourselves simply to be. The silence often has more to reveal about the true nature of
things than any amount of words. In actuality, words and silence are the divine complement of
each other. They form their own polarity balance much like that of the yin and the yang. As I am
by nature both a lecturer and a writer, I obviously know the importance that words have in the
communication of truth. However, the majority of the words I communicate issue from the
depths of the silence within myself.

It is crucial for your spiritual evolution and ability to stay centered in God to be able to delve into
that center of quiet calm, so I want to make you aware of the perfect polarity balance between
silence and the word. Our society is much too focused on doing, thinking and achieving, without
the balance of inner communion. Those in traditional religions, even lightworkers, are often
much better at praying than they are at listening. They might be surprised how open God and the
masters are to speaking back.

Having said that, I also want to reemphasize that other things can be incorporated into your alone
time with self and God. This is a good time to journal-write and check in with your subconscious
mind and inner child to see how they are doing. If you ask, the inner child will be more than
willing to share with you what its needs are. Although not an aspect of ourselves to be indulged
unwisely, neither is the inner child to be ignored. It is a part of each of us, and we need to take
the time to check in with it before it has the chance to act out its needs in an inappropriate
fashion. Invite the inner child to do a bit of journal work so that it might share with you if it is
doing okay or feels totally neglected. Perhaps it needs a day of lightness, a trip to the mall or to
the movies. Perhaps it needs this because you have become somewhat imbalanced. The process
of journaling will allow these various parts of ourselves to have their say which, when
appropriately handled, will keep us integrated and whole.

There are a variety of techniques and functions that journal writing embraces. As with the inner
child, you can listen to the various aspects of yourself speak, such as the various archetypes or
subpersonalities. You can also set down your intent of action in any number of areas in your life.
The point is, this time is for you to be alone with yourself and God. It is a period of time away
from the input of other people, where you can both process what is going on with you and rest in
the silence of your essential being.

Sometimes this stillness is the perfect time to communicate with your higher self, monad and the
masters. You might very well find that your journal writing takes the form of channeling these
higher aspects of self. If you are one to rely solely on books, you might suddenly find yourself
channeling wisdom that you would otherwise seek from an outside source. It is a good idea to
allot some of your alone time to asking God, your monad and the masters to talk to you through
the vehicle of your own higher mind. Sit in meditation, set the intent and see what comes
through.

Perhaps it will be a poem or a clarification of something you have read but not fully understood.
In other cases you might be surprised to find that you are an open channel to higher inspiration. I
am not saying that you should strive to be that kind of channel or telepath, because that might or
might not be part of your work. What I am saying is that there are levels and layers within all of
us that can only be explored and brought forth in the solitude of our own beings. I greatly
encourage you to use this most precious time for yourself.

Your Alone Time Together

If you are involved in a romantic relationship, it is of great value to take alone time together.
Take specific time to join together as monads, and from that higher group body meditate, seek
guidance, inspiration and just be . This is different from the communicating process that has been
referred to throughout this book. Since this chapter is “God, the Consummate Union,” what I am
referring to is joining the group body of two with the energies of the One.

Allow yourselves the time to experience your monads in the solitude of a meditative
environment that the two of you create together. You might want to play some soothing spiritual
music as well as light some incense and perhaps a candle. However you choose to manifest it,
this can be a time when your souls and/or monads can be the center of attention, and from that
center you can meditate on the greater whole of God Itself.

This is a wonderful way to bond as ascension buddies and take time out from all other aspects of
your relationship. Whatever you create within that most sublime stillness and silence ultimately
resonates as two souls and monads in unison with God. This is a wonderful gift you can give to
yourselves and your relationship. I highly recommend that you take advantage of this precious
gift and give it to yourselves and each other.

Experiences That Accompany Your Changing Frequencies

In the beginning of this chapter some of the more divine and sensually delightful experiences
were described. As the brain cells expand in order to bring forth more wisdom and as the heart
chakra is activated because the love quotient is increasing, one might very well find oneself
experiencing the wonderful sensation of orgasm in these various chakra areas, as well as along
the entire spine.

As we go deeper and deeper within the realms of God, as we bring through more and more
wisdom, love and energies, and as we become increasingly integrated with our monads and the
masters, our frequencies shift and change. As a result, we can experience a wide range of
changes and symptoms in our four-body system.

As the energy continues to shift as rapidly as it is now doing, however, one might find that
(either in conjunction with these sensual experiences or quite apart from them) other less
pleasurable energy fluctuations occur within the body. They occur because of the path you are on
and because of the rapid shift of energies. If you are aware that these symptoms go with the
territory, you will be less likely to get bogged down by them through fear and confusion.

The rapid transformation of humanity as a whole means that each of us will go through the
needed transformations that our bodies require in order to hold these higher frequencies. I have
seen too many people waste precious time in bewilderment and self-judgment due to these
varying manifestations. There is nothing to fear in them, and they should be welcomed as
symbolic of the rising kundalini and the preparation of the four lower bodies to hold increasing
amounts of light.

Some of the more bewildering symptoms of the kundalini rising or of the raising of our
frequencies are: a feeling of lightheadedness, a floating feeling, a feeling of being off balance or
dizziness and a change in vision (such as seeing the auras of people and objects perhaps more
clearly than the physical form itself). There might be a trembling feeling or a sense of impending
doom that can leave the person wondering whether he is suffering from an anxiety or panic
disorder. The person might feel agoraphobic and want to stay close to home. In some cases this
is due to a buildup of stress, which plays itself out by manifesting this type of symptom. Even if
this is happening to you, you have all the tools I have so far discussed that can help you use these
symptoms as a springboard for growth. If they are consuming your life, I would also recommend
working with a therapist/spiritual counselor qualified in this area.

However, do not rush to judgment. Let us take a look at these symptoms from the standpoint of
the monad. Remember that we are in a unique relationship with God because we are consciously
on the path of ascension. If what was mentioned earlier about the change of frequencies that
results in spinal-system orgasms and orgasms of the heart and head are true, would it not follow
that this profound shifting and stimulation within one’s being might also produce other
symptoms?

If the expanding of the brains cells produces an individual climax in the head chakra, then the
symptoms of lightheadedness, dizziness and feeling off balance are minor in comparison and
should not surprise you. It is all a matter of the lens through which we view these manifestations.
It is much easier to accept and enjoy the pleasant ones than the unpleasant ones, but all of these
physical reactions have their roots in the same cause. Therefore, it is important that we view all
these reactions from an attitude of love.

This leads us to ask about the fear that can arise. Why do we often feel such an acute sense of
panic with the second group of symptoms? The answer to that lies in humanity’s innate fear of
death. It is one of the worst feelings, and many who experience these symptoms report a feeling
of impending doom or death. The truth is that during such an accelerated process we are dying to
the old within ourselves while we are birthing to the new. Sometimes it is difficult to let the old
go so that the new might be brought forth, as the ego might be screaming no! What I ask you to
remember at these times is that the higher self and monad are rejoicing with a resounding yes! So
it will smooth the process and bring reassurance if you learn to listen to that voice. It is
resistance that brings pain, so the more gracefully you can allow the old to leave, the easier your
transformation will be.

The shaking and trembling occur because we are 100-watt light bulbs suddenly receiving 1,000
volts from the cosmos. This is quite an adjustment for all of us, particularly for those with more
sensitive electrical systems. As to not wanting to leave the safety of one’s home and enter into
the marketplace, many on the path of ascension are prone to steering clear of the noise and
clamor of the marketplace and remaining within the walls of the sanctuaries they have made of
their homes. Although there are those who travel around the globe anchoring the light into either
troubled areas or power points, many desire to remain cloistered within their home-based
ashrams.

So do not judge yourself by the standards that the world puts forth. Know that these symptoms
are a call to, and a manifestation of, further growth. I choose to look at these through the more
inclusive lens of transformation as we proceed on our paths of ascension. Whether it is the voice
of our subconscious minds begging for our attention, higher energies seeking to anchor in our
bodies or the spontaneous rising of kundalini from these energies, it is the voice and movement
of growth we are hearing and feeling.

Other Symptoms of Spiritual Acceleration

One further area of transformation that the lightworker will almost always notice in achieving
ever greater union with the divine is the effect of detoxification. This is relegated almost
exclusively to the physical/etheric realm, although some very definite changes will also occur in
the emotional and mental bodies.

Most of us doing ascension work will invariably make some dietary adjustments. The foods we
eat will be more nutritious, we might want to take various food supplements and we might desire
to receive bodywork. We might also begin doing bodywork on ourselves, as in practicing hatha
yoga and/or various breathing exercises. I am sure that the more creative among us will think up
and explore much that is not mentioned here. Of course the changes we make on the physical
will move into the other bodies. For instance, if one is in the process of cutting back or giving up
sugar or caffeine, the emotions will feel somewhat deprived for a while, and this area will need
some attention.

It is important to realize that when the body is detoxifying, in cleansing out the toxins the body
will go through necessary adjustments. This is a positive thing, so it is important to understand
that healing is taking place. This understanding applies to all forms of dis-ease and/or physical
imbalance. As one integrates higher and higher levels of ascension frequencies, the physical
body and nervous system must readjust.

At one of the Wesak celebrations, I touched a woman on her third eye with the divine nectar of
Sai Baba and she lost vision in her left eye. Her body was not accustomed to the higher-level
frequency of shaktipat that was transmitted. This symptom shortly passed, but it is an example of
what can happen in the process of spiritual acceleration. The ways symptoms can manifest are
infinite. Things are not always what they seem. So don’t judge yourself or others about these
manifestations, for they might be a sign that the person is accelerating spiritually far beyond the
rate of the average lightworker. The focus of all our spiritual work, whether detoxification of the
body or meditation, is the integration of the four-body system. We can see how each aspect of
our being plays its part and how that part interrelates with the whole as we journey on our path.

Safe in God’s Love and Light

The subject of God as the ultimate union is vast indeed. As the relationship between couples
stretches us to the limit and puts us to the test, how much more does our relationship with God!
The love, light and safety that the union with the divine brings forth, however, cannot be equaled
by any earthly relationship no matter how deeply we love. Therefore, as we proceed along this
journey we should be ever aware of the vast energies of love, light and protection that are
provided by God.

Those who walk this path in lieu of having an earthly partner should take comfort and joy in the
fact that no matter how alone we feel we are, we can never be truly alone, as we live within that
which by Its very nature provides All That Is and holds us safe and secure in Its very Self. Know
that this aura of divine protection and wholeness is truly that in which we live and move and
have our being.

The essence of what I have tried to convey in this chapter is the unique relationship that exists
between ourselves, our soul/monad and God. This divine relationship at once enfolds us and tests
us. It advances us ever onward and embraces us right where we are, loving us unconditionally at
each step of our evolution. The relationship we have with God is always new and exciting.
Therefore, I focused on some of the more common as well as the less common areas into which
this divine union may lead us.

In viewing God as the ultimate union, we can know a degree of safety, love and companionship
that others can never know — those who see themselves as separate from God or who do not
believe that God exists at all. When we feel that our energies are running low or that the fire
within is barely a burning ember, all we need do is turn our attention toward God and ask to be
filled with the divine fire of which we are but tiny sparks. Before we know it, we will be aflame
with the light, love and passion of life itself, for that is the grace of knowing ourselves to be one
with the One.

If we are going through a period of loneliness and find that we are seemingly without friends or
support, all we need do is turn to God, and we will feel the truth that indeed we can never be
truly alone. That by no means implies that we do not prefer to have friends and family about us,
but it does state the truth that even in our most seemingly isolated moments, we can bring to
mind and heart the joy of knowing our oneness with the One.

When we are in need of love, yet have no lover by our side, we can embrace God as the beloved
and know that blessed union wherein lover and beloved are truly one. When we are alone and
frightened, we can remember that we are not alone and can call forth the experience of divine
light, love and protection that comes from God and surrounds us through every moment of our
lives.

We also have the vast hosts of planetary ascended masters, cosmic masters, angels and
archangels, elohim and positive extraterrestrials we can call forth. In the first five volumes of The
Easy-to-Read Encyclopedia of the Spiritual Path, I have attempted to make as many of these
masters known to you as possible. For some of you, they might seem to be new friends. Others
might already have an intimate relationship with many of them. Call upon them, as they are here
awaiting our call. But by divine law they must wait until they are invoked into our lives.

As each one of these beings holds a unique position in the planetary and cosmic governments
and each holds a specific energy, you might want to consider calling upon one or the other of
them depending on the need of the hour. For example, if you are in need of extra strength and
protection, Lord Michael is a wonderful being to call upon. If you are seeking to feel more love,
you might want to call on Lord Maitreya, Kuthumi or Yogananda. If you are seeking to feel
enveloped in the love of the mother, call upon the Mother Mary or other forms of the divine
Mother. If you are seeking wisdom, call upon Djwhal Khul, and you are sure to get it, with a
good dose of love and levity as well! If you are dealing with health issues, avail yourself of Dr.
Lorphan and the team of galactic healers. If you want to open your bhakti, or devotional center,
then you can do no better than calling upon Sai Baba.

I have only begun to mention these wonderful beings. If you are not familiar with them and the
grace they bring, I suggest that you get acquainted. Many of you are already linked to a specific
lineage and know exactly what I am speaking about here. You who are more familiar with or
connected to specific masters might want to share your experiences with your friends.

I bring this most important subject to a close with the reminder that in truth, each of us is already
in a relationship and that relationship is with God. All other relationships flow out of the stream
of this one primary relationship. God, the consummate union, is a part of every other union we
have, for ultimately, God is who we are.
11
Living the Spiritual Life Together
Maintaining Your Balance
Cosmic sources tell us that the theme for our universe is courage. The keynote for our planet is
harmony through conflict. It is a fact that life on planet Earth is hard. Those of us on the path of
ascension are not only dealing with the more mundane aspects of life, but also with the influx of
spiritual energies, which have a continual effect on our four-body system. We might find
ourselves stuck in traffic, blasted with pollutants and wondering what lesson we are supposed to
learn by having a shortage of clients this week, all while trying to process the great currents of
spiritual energy we just ran through our system while working with our last client of the day.

Upon our arrival home, we may find it hard enough to deal with ourselves, much less with our
mate, who is eagerly awaiting our arrival in order to tell us about an incredible spiritual lecture
this evening that we simply cannot miss! Yes, we are deeply in love with our mate, and yes,
under different circumstances that lecture sounds most appealing, but this evening it is more than
we can bear. How then are we to find the balance?

To begin with, we must first be right with ourselves. This is a time when we need to tip the
selfish/selfless balance a little more in our favor. We start by lovingly communicating to our
partner how we are feeling, then we take the necessary time for ourselves. If our partner is truly
walking the path with us, he or she should have no problem understanding what is going on with
us and should support us in taking care of ourselves. Hopefully this is the case, because in any
event, we must have that sense of being right with ourselves, and the ideal is to have support in
that most crucial area.

Being in a tired and depleted state, perhaps caught between a rock and a hard place, financially
speaking, it is hard enough to find that quiet place within ourselves where we can regain our
center. Life can be hard, and continuing to live it and maintain it from the highest possible
perspective can be challenging. That is why I am calling to your attention the delicate act of
balancing this process with yourself and your mate.

Of course, in order to manifest this balance in your relationship, you must first balance it in
yourself. This takes work, but it is the work we are here to do. Our sense of personal balance
helps create an atmosphere wherein we can find the proper balance in our relationships. So it is
crucial for us to honor the need for inner balance as a foundation for creating and maintaining a
balanced romantic relationship.

Balance within the Relationship

In the scenario of the tired mate, the first suggestion I would make to both partners is to try your
best to be sensitive to the other’s needs. If you have been working on yourselves at all, you
should both be able to see where the greatest need lies. Of course, you must both be willing to
communicate your needs and preferences in the first place, but I am assuming that you have done
this. If it is essential for the exhausted partner to get needed rest, that takes top priority. The
disappointment faced in giving up the idea of attending the outside event together would do well
to be honored and then replaced with compassionate understanding and the recognition that
disappointment stems from attachment rather than the inability to realize your outer objective.

If the outside event is something you feel you need and it is appropriate that you go by yourself
or with a friend, then by all means do so. If it is something you must do as a couple or that you
choose to do only as a couple, then set the intent to do it at another time. If it is a one-time event,
then either go alone or let it go. Being in a relationship involves balancing the needs of the two
partners. This will mean compromise and not having everything your way all the time. Since you
have committed to one another, however, it follows that you want to be in the relationship and
that you accept whatever goes with it. As we are seeking that place of integration and balance
within ourselves, we are simply extending that integration and balance to incorporate the couple
as well as the two individuals.

At times, living the spiritual life together can seem much harder than living the spiritual life
alone. At other times it can seem much easier. Viewing the previous scenario through the lens of
living alone, you would find yourself stuck in traffic, blasted with pollutants, wondering what
lesson you are supposed to learn by having a shortage of clients this week, trying to process the
great currents of spiritual energy you ran through your system while working with your last
client of the day, racing home to tend to a vast array of daily chores you were unable to get to
because you were at work and having to contend with several telephone calls from excited
friends who insist that you simply cannot miss this evening’s lecture.

You then might find it much harder to take the respite you so sorely need because the dog needs
to be walked, there is no food in the house and so on. Even if you would normally be interested
in the lecture, in your exhaustion it would hold little appeal. If you collapsed from exhaustion,
you could neither rest adequately nor enjoy the lecture.

The above scenario is slightly exaggerated, with a hint of humor thrown in, so that if you find
yourself in the position of one of the partners, you might have a greater appreciation for the other
one’s predicament and for the part he or she is playing in your life. By no means am I saying that
being in a relationship is better than not being in one. If you were going it alone, you would most
likely be in a smaller place that did not require a great deal of looking after, or you would hire a
housekeeper if you could manage it. You would probably make sure that the refrigerator had the
food you liked or else you would have picked up something on the way home.

What I have attempted to demonstrate is that if you are in a relationship, it is not advisable to
take your partner for granted, which is a trap almost all of us fall into at one time or another. Or
you might resent the five minutes it takes to communicate your point of view or listen to your
partner’s. You are in a relationship with that particular person because you choose to be, so give
the relationship the respect it deserves and learn how to balance as a team. What is the point of
being supportive of each other only when you see eye to eye? In that case you might as well be
alone.

The trick is to find that place of support and mutual balance even when you don’t see eye to eye.
By doing this in simple situations, as in the above scenario, you will learn how to manifest this
type of balance and mutual support in more crucial moments. You will also be learning how to
function in a group body, which all of us must eventually learn to do on our path of evolution.
Therefore, why not begin to practice integration and group balance where you are now, with the
person you are sharing your life with? You will find that being in a relationship will provide you
with ample opportunities to learn the delicate art of balance and integration, and this is how it
should be. So take advantage of the love you share as well as the challenges you provide for one
another, and you will be walking the path well together.

Understand also that if you are interested in accelerating your spiritual growth, ascension process
and total self- realization, there is no quicker path than romantic relationships. This is true
because the romantic relationship is the only one guaranteed to press all your buttons — those
faulty thought patterns and complexes that need to be cleansed and cleared to realize God.

Romantic relationships, then, are the fast track to God. Anyone can maintain Christ
consciousness while living in a cave. The true test of God-realization is demonstrating this state
of consciousness in the marketplace, and the ultimate marketplace is living intimately with
another human being. Each time you react with negative emotions to your partner’s behavior,
bless him/her for allowing you the opportunity to pass another spiritual test. In the same vein,
you should never leave a relationship until you have learned the lessons from it. Otherwise, you
will just continue the same patterns with another person.

In every interaction with your partner the choice is always the same: do I want God or do I want
my ego? Do I want harmony and spiritual evolution within the group body, or do I want self-
centeredness and narcissism? When you can maintain Christ consciousness while you are
immersed in a romantic relationship and fully involved with Earth life, then you have truly
achieved self-realization. Achieving a higher light quotient and passing higher initiations are
very important, but they are only part of true self-realization. Use your relationship as the
ultimate crucible for spiritual growth and be more concerned about learning your own lessons
than about being attached to your partner’s learning his or hers. When you are right with yourself
and right with God, becoming right with your mate becomes a lot easier.

I have seen a great many lightworkers who are at very high levels of initiation and light quotient
and have great gifts of channeling, clairvoyance and the like. But in their romantic or
professional relationships they are completely dysfunctional. I don’t care if you’ve passed your
seven levels of initiation and hold a planetary light quotient of 99 percent; this is not God-
realization. What difference does it make whether you can channel the masters if in the next
moment you indulge in childish ego battles with your mate or business partner?

Many lightworkers are now taking their sixth and seventh initiations, and when they find this out
they are very pleased, as they should be. However, their true spiritual work has just begun. Most
lightworkers will stay at the seventh initiation until transcendence of the negative ego and inner-
child victimization are overcome and right human relationships are mastered.
Achieving initiations and raising our light quotient relate to spiritual development and have very
little to do with mental, emotional, physical or psychological development. I was absolutely
shocked when I realized the truth of this. Lightworkers must realize that to achieve self-
realization at the highest level, there are many levels that must be mastered. These levels are the
spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, psychological, professional or service, environmental,
leadership and relationship. But the crucial key to self-realization on all levels (and this may
surprise you) is the psychological level. This is the foundation upon which your spiritual house
rests.

Many lightworkers are highly developed in one or two areas and undeveloped in others. This is
not a judgment, but rather a simple statement of fact. True God-realization is mastery of all the
above-mentioned levels in an integrated and synthesized fashion. This level of mastery is not
easy to attain, for it is far beyond just passing your initiations, which is the first major step to
attaining this goal. Lightworkers are often more interested in the ephemeral and esoteric when in
truth, what they really need are books like Soul Psychology and this volume.

No matter how gifted a person is as a channel, psychic, healer, writer or spiritual teacher, if he
has not learned to transcend negative ego, master the subconscious mind, properly parent the
inner child, integrate the three minds, balance the four bodies, properly integrate the feminine
and masculine, become at cause rather than at effect, become a master instead of a victim,
develop self-love and own his personal power in a clear way, he is headed for a fall. His level of
initiation, light quotient, leadership abilities, fame and worldly success cannot stop this from
happening.

I am emphatic about the importance of getting your psychological house in order and
transcending the cancer of the negative ego — the term ”cancer” truly is an appropriate term
here. The negative ego, if not checked, will contaminate and subtly poison every aspect of your
life, including your romantic relationship, which you have spent so much time and energy
cultivating like a beautiful garden. This section has been written to give you an opportunity to
learn by grace instead of karma. There is no subject about which I feel more passionate.
Remember Sai Baba’s famous definition of God: “God equals man minus ego.”

Balancing the Extremes

During the course of a long-term romantic relationship, you will inevitably come face to face
with some of life’s more challenging aspects. There will be times when those in your immediate
and extended family are called on to face great health lessons and, ultimately, a time when they
make that great transition called death. If it is your choice and destiny, you may face the
challenges that go along with birthing and raising children. This brings with it an entire array of
potential extreme situations, including the natural ones of their growing up, moving away from
home, perhaps marrying and so forth.

You may be put through extreme financial tests, as well as those that spring from career choices
and job situations. There is likewise the “test of the light,” to which all disciples and initiates are
subjected, which primarily deals with all the changes we go through both individually and as a
group body when traveling the path of ascension. This includes the incorporation of all the
lessons of life through the continually expanding vision of individuals and couples consciously
treading the path of initiation and ascension. In this process, old forms are constantly dying and
being replaced by new, more refined forms on all levels of existence.

Every situation can either bring the couple closer or see them drift further apart. This has more to
do with the choices the couple makes, both individually and collectively, than the nature of any
given situation. In the same manner, each situation you are called on to face in life can either
bring you closer to God and further along the spiritual path, or it can leave you feeling isolated
and disconnected from your path. It is the Hierarchy’s hope that individuals and couples will use
all the situations they encounter, no matter how difficult, to bring them closer to themselves,
each other and God.

Everything going on in your life is a spiritual test giving you the opportunity to remain one with
God in your moment-to-moment choices or lose that oneness in realization, but not in truth.
Romantic relationships seen from this perspective are secondary to one’s spiritual path. This is
not to negate the importance of a romantic relationship, but rather to keep one’s perspective in
regard to one’s spiritual path. I think you can see now why half of all marriages end in divorce.
People often come together improperly aligned within themselves, with God and with each other.

It is hoped that the truly committed couple will support one another during these trying times and
that each person can devote the bulk of his or her time and energy to dealing with the lessons,
rather than having to deal with a depressed or upset partner as well. Remember that tests and
lessons come to each of us. One person might be stronger in one area, perhaps in the physical
body, and weaker in the psychological body. To judge or grow short with one’s partner because
he/she is dealing with a difficult lesson in one of the four bodies is not expressing unconditional
love. I grant you, it is not so easy to keep the love flowing during times of extreme crisis. But is
that not the very test of love itself — to remain unconditionally loving during the hard times and
ride out the storms together?

If we are in a committed relationship, we must realize that the very nature of that commitment
will bring us through many stages in our relationships and put us through many tests. As lessons
come to all, if you are currently with a partner going through extreme testing, stop and realize
that the difficult lesson could just as easily come to you. Consider how you would want your
partner to act with you. You would want to be able to trust at your very core that your partner
will indeed ride this out with you. He/she would in turn want to know that you are there in
complete support of him/her and the group unit of which you are both a part.

This does not mean that you take on any aspect of your partner’s lessons or try to solve them.
Rather, your job is to provide a safe and loving atmosphere in which your partner can come to
terms with the situation and learn what is needed to transcend it. The point of balance in a
situation such as this lies in giving your loving support to your partner while at the same time not
get so caught up that you lose your own center in trying to fix his or her situation.

If you are the one going through the major lessons, you in turn do not want to dump on or drain
your partner, but keep the space you need in which to heal, accept the love and nurturing he/she
offers, and work on deepening your connection with your soul, monad and God. This way you
can get to the root of your difficulties, learn the lesson and come out of things closer to God than
before. Remember, this principle applies to all extreme financial lessons, environmental lessons,
job lessons, psychological lessons, emotional lessons, mental lessons and spiritual
transformations.

The couple must reach into their hearts and use such situations to grow closer to one another and
to God. It is up to them to choose at every juncture of their lives whether to take the high road or
not, and the choice is often not easy. Viewed through the lens of spirit, however, the high road
becomes the only viable option, so the choice ultimately is not which road we will take, but
which lens we look through. In all honesty, after one glance through the lens of the soul/monad,
what choice is there but to continue to view from that lens?

When life is looked at through the lens of the soul, monad and Christ consciousness, adversity is
welcomed, not cursed. From one’s Christ eyes, the appropriate affirmation in all crises, no matter
what form they take, is “Not my will but Thine, and thank you for the lesson.” Crises are
blessings in disguise that present the opportunity to accelerate your ascension process and realize
God at a more expanded level. This attitude, held jointly in a relationship, can transform the most
catastrophic-appearing lessons into the most divine moments of intimacy and connection with
oneself, God and your partner. As Ram Dass stated so eloquently, “Everything that happens in
life is grist for the mill” to create greater love on all levels and greater union with God.

Affairs vs. Communication

The temptation to have an affair can occur in those who operate out of their lower personalities
all the way to initiates or even ascended masters. In the latter case, the two people involved
recognize a deep level of spiritual intimacy and are pulled to act this out on the physical plane. It
is obvious that this subject needs to be looked at through a variety of lenses.

We need to be clear that we are discussing affairs and not simply the attraction that occurs
between single and available people. To have an affair means to do something behind the back of
your partner and violate the all-important element of trust. For those not acting solely out of pure
lust, the emotional body will be involved to one degree or another, and this is of great
significance. If you find yourself getting involved with a person besides your spouse or partner,
it is generally because there is an emotional need not being met by your partner. However, it may
also include certain physical, mental and even spiritual needs. Thus this common problem is a
complex one.

Affairs, or the desire to have them, can be averted if those in a committed romantic relationship
keep the channels of communication completely open in regard to this issue. However, if the
couple simply waits for the issue of an affair to surface instead of remaining in communication
about their relationship as a whole, it will be much more difficult. By that time, many thwarted
desires or painful wounds will have had time to fester and grow. Therefore, it is recommended
that all couples remain open and willing to communicate their needs when those needs arise.
This prevents a buildup of resentments that might trigger involvement with another person and
open a Pandora’s box. I am not suggesting that you weigh your relationship down with
continuous harping on the subject of your relationship, but that you pay close attention to the
needs of both yourself and your mate that arise in the relationship and that you set aside time to
discuss these matters.
For example, if you have a much greater need than your partner for the physical display of
affections, such as hugging, holding hands, cuddling, kissing each other hello and good-bye,
these needs are as valid to discuss as the need for more sexual interaction. In relationships, one
partner will generally be of a more generous nature in the physical display of affection, and if
you are that partner and end up feeling neglected, please bring it to your partner’s attention.
Often the less expressive partner will have no idea they are not giving you what you want or
need. A little communication on your part and a willingness for both of you to find a happy
medium can work as preventive medicine. A little communication, particularly in physical
matters, often goes a very long way.

For some reason, people are often more willing to communicate over other issues than those
relating to sexual intimacy and expression of affection. However, communication in this area is a
must. During the course of a committed relationship, our needs are bound to change. Perhaps at
the beginning of the romance, both partners desired a high level of sexual intimacy. But later,
one partner often moves away from sexual desire to a greater degree than the other partner. This
does not mean that the feelings of love have diminished, but simply that the focus of the
relationship has now expanded to include wider vistas and responsibilities.

If we do not communicate with our partners, the partner with the greater sexual urge may feel
rejected and the partner with the lesser need will feel put upon. That one will either pull away
completely or indulge the other partner resentfully. Then expressions of affection that might
otherwise be forthcoming, such as cuddling, massaging, hello kisses and the like, might be
completely withdrawn out of fear that this will be misinterpreted by the other partner, who is
waiting for any encouragement to initiate sex.

What we are talking about here is a complete lack of communication, which leads to
inappropriate behavior and greater and greater confusion and conflict. The avoidance of a
discussion on this matter can provide fertile ground for an extra-marital affair. However,
discussing these varying needs from a place of unconditional love, calm and openness can help
bring the couple closer than ever.

What I am driving at here is that communication is the key to keeping a relationship committed.
Without this communication, frustrations and resentments can easily develop, which can lead
one or both of the partners to stray, seeking to have their needs met. This might lead to their
drifting apart. Preventing this involves a willingness to work together on all issues.

An affair can result from lack of communication and frustration in many areas of the
relationship. Then a person begins to feel unheard, feeling a disinterest from the partner in any
number of possible scenarios. He is left feeling isolated, alone and unappreciated, and seeks to
bond with another in order to feel that sense of communication, interest and appreciation. What
then occurs is the affair.

So you can see how vital communication is to every aspect of your relationship. The opposite of
communication is isolation, and the seeming solution to isolation is an affair. Of course this is no
solution at all, for it breaks the most sacred bond of trust between the couple. This creates a host
of other problems that touch so deeply to the core that often couples can never fully come to
terms with the fact that the affair has occurred. Then a separation or divorce ensues. This is not
inevitable, but it is most often the case. Therefore, keep up the preventive medicine of open,
loving, honest and spiritually attuned communication on whatever subjects require that
communication.

Stopping an Affair at the Mental Level

The manifestation of everything begins with the mind. In the case of sexual encounters, one
generally begins to look at a certain person in a sexual light and then proceeds to carry that
forward into the realm of personal fantasy. The fantasy often grows into obsession, and the
mental pictures of the sexual encounter grow to such a height that having sex is basically a done
deal. Of course, with potential affairs there are two people doing this with each other as well as
in their own minds. The little looks and glances exchanged between them will only serve to bring
the sexual act into manifestation all the more quickly.

We can stop it, however, before it gets to that point. This is in our power as cocreators with God.
There are ways not to let this type of temptation get the better of you. Granted, this is not always
easy; in fact, it would be appropriate to say that this is almost always quite difficult, but it can be
done by simply working at the dissipation of the thought form that holds the other person in a
sexual and sensual light. If you are both lightworkers, you can discuss this and agree to see each
other as brothers and sisters of spirit.

Make a pact not to give each other those little telling looks that are in effect saying, “I want you,
I desire you, I must have you” — looks that come in the twinkling of an eye, or rather a blast of
sexual energy that comes through the eyes at lightning speed. When you are away from one
another, keep watch that you do not revert back to the pattern of lustful fantasizing over each
other. Rather, keep affirming for as long as necessary, “We are brothers and sisters, sons and
daughters of God, and it is in this light that I hold my sister (or brother).” Feel free to call on the
masters’ help, for they have had human form and know the intense energy involved. You may
even look upon one another as aspects of the divine Mother or Father, which in truth you are.

The other thing that is important is to avoid perpetuating an affair of the heart. By this I am
referring to a secret affair that is not sexually acted out, but that contains much sexual energy,
finding expression in the emotional, secretive encounters between the two of you. This type of
affair often wreaks more havoc on your already committed romantic relationship than a physical
affair, for it emotionally pulls you away from your partner and breaks the line of open and honest
communication that should be finding expression within your committed relationship. It
perpetuates the avoidance of the real issues that you and your mate should be dealing with, gives
your heart into the keeping of the other person and keeps your sexual desires, thoughts and
emotions focused on your secret partner. One could say there are physical affairs, mental affairs
and emotional affairs, and all three types should be nipped in the bud when they begin to
manifest.

I am not saying that it is inappropriate to have an appreciation of the human form and to
acknowledge the pleasing looks of a person of the opposite sex. This is not about putting blinders
on, but about choosing how we will interact with those we find attractive. We can be attracted to
others on a variety of levels — physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The point is to
keep your relationship with your partner the top priority and refrain from feeding the desires that
might spring up regarding other people. There is a fine line here that must not be crossed on the
physical, etheric, energetic, emotional or mental plane. This is the true and full meaning of
commitment and integrity in a primary romantic relationship.

You and your partner need to know that you come first on each other’s list. The trust factor is of
the utmost importance. Know that the power lies within you to transform thoughts of another
into thoughts of brotherly love and friendship. If there is an emotional bond, keep it open and not
a secret from your partner. It is fine to have separate friends, but in a case like the one just
described, you would do much better to have a friendship that includes your mate as well. For
there would still be a high risk of falling into a secret affair of the heart or an actual affair.

In times when there is a strong physical attraction between you and someone else, use the
affirmation given above to help you keep your thoughts turned elsewhere. Remember, the mind
is the gate through which all things must pass in order to find physical manifestation. Therefore,
be the keeper of the gate, and simply do not let the mind get the better of you by indulging in
fantasies. Use your personal power and the sword of discrimination and clear thinking to choose
which direction these thoughts will take.

You do have the ability to stop them from self-perpetuating and, with the power of divine intent,
to transform them into their highest spiritual counterpart. With the simple adjustment of your
thought process, that which was lust can be turned into brotherly/sisterly love. And that which
held the threat of secrecy can be brought into the light of honesty, inclusiveness and purity.

The key to transcending temptation is to understand that what manifests in life is what we focus
our attention on. Ideally, your conscious mind should keep its attention on the ideals of the
higher self and God. When temptation arises, simply shift your attention in the initial stages
before the energy, feelings and thought forms gain too much momentum and force. As A Course
in Miracles says, “Be vigilant for God and His kingdom.”

Affairs and Soul/Monadic Connections

There can be a desire to have an affair when two closely linked souls meet and feel their spiritual
bond. This situation is of a very different nature than lustful attraction or affairs that arise from a
communication gap. This type of attraction, however, should not be indulged in when one or
both people are in a committed relationship. But since many of us are now connecting with
others in our monad, this type of situation warrants some discussion.

When two highly evolved beings begin to work together on the outer planes, there is a strong
electrical current that flows between them. This is actually how it should be, since what we are
dealing with at this level is the freely flowing God force moving through all our lower bodies,
including the physical. This is what the masters want, because this empowers the service work
these beings came in to do. However, when two people within this group who have had close ties
as partners come into contact, there is often a desire to express the dynamic energies flowing
between them in a sexual fashion — to rebond physically.

If these people were single at the time of their meeting, destiny would have assigned them a
different pathway and they could freely explore the past ties through to the present, giving total
expression to all levels of the energies they carry. But if these people are already in committed
romantic relationships with people of like caliber whom they have chosen to be their mates for
this present lifetime, they would do well to understand the nature of their attraction but definitely
not act on it in the form of an affair.

The energies between two monad mates can be great indeed, and the temptation can be great to
act on what seems quite natural. But it is not the thing to do. Rather, the two can talk together
about it and see how they might use this energy in their service work in the present lifetime and
let it go at that. Unless you feel beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is the person you are truly
meant to be with, do not act out your feelings sexually. The point is to understand what you are
feeling and then get back to the work at hand.

If by some strange quirk of fate you are indeed meant to reconnect with this person in a physical
and romantic manner, then know that you must first disconnect from the person with whom you
are currently involved. This situation can and does occur, but it is quite rare. If it is the case, a
secret affair is obviously not the answer. This situation would need to be dealt with in an honest
and above-board manner. As you more deeply connect with your higher group body, understand
some of the feelings that might arise and proceed with due caution.

Affairs of the Lower Nature

I would like to make one further point. There are affairs that occur from lust, which is no longer
at play within the initiate. This is what is known as the meat-market syndrome and is generally
found in bars, strip clubs and the like, where people gather in an attempt to hook up with
someone and try to forget themselves with alcoholic beverages and acts of sex that stem from a
purely lustful nature. The reason I bring this up is to caution all disciples and initiates to steer
clear of such places and the people who frequent them.

This may seem quite obvious, but there is an underlying element that most are not aware of.
Sometimes, because of certain social or business obligations, disciples, initiates and even
ascended masters in body might find themselves associating with people carrying these
frequencies. Then one of two things can occur. The first is the most common response, in which
initiates find themselves immediately repulsed by such energies and pull away. But the second
thing that can happen is that the initiate is so filled with divine, all-embracing love that he or she
may temporarily interpret the lower energies of such people as the energy of pure love that he or
she carries. If she is in a particularly vulnerable spot, she may gravitate to such an inappropriate
person, especially if she has work to do learning this aspect of discernment. In the case of the
single person, it is just such an encounter that leads to highly inappropriate relationships.

In a case where the lightworker is married and not rightly communicating his or her true issues
with his partner, he might find himself swayed by the strong energy of the lustful person. He
might filter it through his own love channel and seemingly convert it into something it most
definitely is not. Please be aware of the tremendous power of love that you on the path of
initiation hold, and do not let yourselves falter. Always go to the Source, as in God and your
monad, and also the source of your committed relationship to work through all difficulties. In
this way you cannot deceive yourself that what is wrong is right or that which is of the lower
nature is of the higher, and you will remain in integrity with yourself, God and your relationship.
Affairs are not the solution, but the doorway to new and more difficult problems. They are an
attempt by the negative ego to avoid facing issues, and there is no way this can be done. We
must continually face ourselves at every level and turn of the spiral. The ultimate issue is you
and your relationship with yourself. If you are in a committed romantic relationship, then be in
that relationship; use it as a couple and individually to grow closer to oneself, God, the masters
and each other. This is living the spiritual life together.

Living Together
When I asked the Hierarchy their viewpoint, they told me that they are very much in favor of
people living together before making the commitment of marriage. This is because they regard
the union of two people in a relationship of commitment and unconditional love as sacred. So
they would prefer that couples get to know each other well before actually getting married. This
is not a point they insist on, for it all depends on the particular couple and their choices. But they
tell me that living together first, even for a little while, can be of great value in specific areas.

First of all, the Hierarchy takes marriage quite seriously and would prefer that couples who make
this commitment to each other really mean it. A period of living together can help the two people
become accustomed to the many aspects of daily life together. This brings in many factors totally
excluded from the dating arena and gives them a dose of hard reality from which to view their
relationship. It is far easier to be in love when one is not exposed to another’s dirty laundry, both
literally and figuratively, and this can be and is avoided during the dating process. But it cannot
be avoided when living together and sharing the same household.

The Hierarchy feels that it is best to know for sure what we are getting into. If the choice is not
made to live together first, the couple is encouraged to become as actively involved in each
other’s daily lives as possible before marriage. This would be ideal for all couples, since it would
involve sharing responsibilities and finances (not necessarily equally, but how it would be if they
were married), listening to details of each other’s day and staying in close communication the
way they would want to if they were married. This would help the couple get to know the habits,
mood swings, give and take, and all-around patterns of daily living with each other and prevent
many surprises that come to couples who do not know each other intimately prior to marriage.
This would also relegate the sexual passion to a more realistic place. It would not be the primary
focus, but would be shared along with all the other aspects of their lives.

In regard to sex before marriage, the Hierarchy is not against this at all. What they do not support
is casual sex and all the ramifications that have already been discussed. However, in a
relationship between two committed people, they feel that the better the couple can get to know
each other before marriage, the more realistically they will enter the marriage and the better the
chance that the marriage will last. Sometimes couples are compatible in almost every area but the
sexual one, and this would leave the couple in utter frustration. The better prepared we are, the
more we will be able to keep our marriages thriving in as healthy a way as possible.

The main gist of what the masters are saying is that once a commitment is made, either through
traditional marriage or the couple’s own personal vows of commitment, they would like people
to view that commitment as sacred, holding it in unconditional love, trust and loyalty. They feel
that it is therefore crucial that each couple get to know each other as completely and realistically
as possible before entering into such a commitment.

I also asked the Hierarchy about their view on open marriages. They said that they are against
them because ultimately it does not work. Although it may seem to work, it is usually for the
benefit of the partner who has a hard time making a commitment. The other partner might go
along with it until the “open” idea of the marriage is actually acted on. Then the partner who
reluctantly went along with the idea feels nearly as betrayed as if he/she had found out he had
been cheated on. The same feelings of insecurity, hurt, anger and jealousy arise. Interestingly
enough, if the partner who first initiated the idea of the open marriage finds out that his mate has
had sex with someone else, either before or afterward, the same feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger,
jealousy and insecurity often arise within him. It is really a no-win situation that might sound
good initially, but which falls flat on its face when acted on. This is another example of the
negative ego trying to find ways to justify inappropriate behavior and exploit unresolved issues.

This can also be seen when one of the partners (usually, but not always, the male) expresses the
idea of having a threesome. The man is apt to select a close friend of the woman in an attempt to
convince her of the harmless fun that the three of them could have together. “Anything once,”
they say, “right?” No, the masters tell us. Wrong! The result is usually embarrassment and/or
jealousy, plain and simple, and what was once a wonderful friendship is thrown off kilter, at least
for a time. This is not the proper bonding of three friends. And it is the misuse of sexual energy if
the situation ever gets to that stage.

Since the situation invariably ends with embarrassment on the part of someone, the couple and
the friend are left to deal with a situation that should never have occurred in the first place. If you
have been involved in such a situation, please understand that there is no judgment here, only
observation. If you escaped any of the above outcomes, consider yourself lucky. But by no
means consider yourself judged. The masters impart their higher vision of things as guideposts.
We are always left with freedom of choice, and they never judge our choices. However, their
input serves to guide us away from behavior patterns that lead to difficulties so that we may
more lightly tread the pathway home.

Sexuality is most wonderful and sacred. It is meant for two people to share in a loving and
committed relationship. It should be kept within that sacred venue as a physical expression of
God’s love between a couple in love. Please don’t let the negative ego, with all its unresolved
issues, try to tell you that sex is anything less than this. In the same vein, do not let the negative
ego make you ashamed of the sexual aspect of yourself. Sometimes lightworkers feel they are
straying from the path even when they have sex with their mates. In extreme cases, certain
lightworkers feel that the desire alone to have a mate or partner in life keeps them from honoring
their union with God. This is simply not true.

Living together, loving together, sharing sexual intimacy as well as daily life with the proper
person — all of these are some of God’s greatest gifts to us. Again, this path will not apply to
everyone, for each person is a path unto himself. However, the union between two people, when
it also includes God, is a most wonderful thing. There is no way you can reach God except
through your own inner ascension process, and there is no way that being in a relationship can
keep you from the very path that you yourself are .
The only danger lies in getting sidetracked for a while and getting caught up with each other to
the exclusion of your spiritual evolution. But that is something that we all have total control over.
So by all means love, and love to the fullest. Simply keep your relationship with yourself and
God first. If you continue your spiritual practices and include your partner in some joint spiritual
practices, you will not be in any danger whatsoever of getting off track with your true intent and
purpose of ascension and God-realization.

The Traditional Way

The Hierarchy wants to emphasize that they by no means disapprove of the tradition of waiting
until you are actually married to share sexual intimacy. In fact, this demonstrates a type of
commitment and a view that the vital fluids are sacred, which is very rare in today’s world.
People who choose this path have already demonstrated a rare form of commitment and self-
control. This is not at all discouraged, but looked upon with great admiration.

To those couples, what must be kept sacred, after the marriage has taken place, is the full
commitment to their love. This will allow them to face the ups and downs of daily living without
being thrown off balance once the daily challenges appear. The partners who have lived together
before getting married have already faced the mundane, and they know what they are getting into
to a greater degree. Those who wait until they are officially married before living together must
be aware of the challenges that day-to-day life together will bring. This prenuptial awareness will
help them avoid being overwhelmed by life together, and they can more easily take in stride the
changes that come along.

Again, the more involved you become in the daily realities of each other’s lives, the more
quickly and easily you will be able to blend your lives. One example of this would be to be
honest with your partner regarding your financial needs and how you use money. Don’t try to
disguise your spending habits, only to have these habits come as a big surprise, especially if you
are an avid shopper! Another example is if you have a weekly night out with friends, and you
want to keep this up after marriage. You need to discuss this with your partner to avoid any
feelings of abandonment on his or her part.

The more you know about each other, the less room you will have for confusion and
misunderstanding, and you will have a healthier start as newlyweds. This is really what the
masters are saying when they say they are in favor of couples living together before a major
commitment. In other words, the sooner things are out in the open between a couple, the better.
This allows a more gradual adjustment and acceptance.

We need to be watchful not to enter into a marriage trying to maintain a pretense in any area.
Honesty is not only the best policy, it is truly the only policy if a relationship is going to serve
both people. To enter into a marriage while hiding certain parts of ourselves will surely lead to
disaster. We each need the freedom to be who we are, and our partners deserve to know us as we
are. If they cannot truly accept us, we need to give serious thought to whether or not they are the
right partner for us. But neither of us can know this unless who and what we are is expressed and
dealt with, and this goes for both partners.

At the other extreme, we don’t want to get into a pattern of neurotic honesty in which there exists
a faulty belief that everything must be shared and nothing is to be kept sacred (just between
yourself and God). From the Hierarchy’s point of view, in some cases certain things are better
left unsaid. However, do not take this to an extreme, for open communication is the best policy.

Communication should unfold as the relationship progresses so that false illusions about
ourselves are kept to a minimum. No doubt if we are starry-eyed in love, some illusions will
remain in the earlier stages, but this head-over-heels-in-love factor is a great cushion with which
to expose some of our quirks. Once the stars start to dim and the light of daily reality begins to
dawn, the more we have shared with each other about ourselves, the better it will be. So begin
open and honest communication at the earliest possible phase of your relationship. If you make
this one of the foundations of your relationship, the healthier, happier and more securely lasting
will be your partnership.

Prenuptial Agreements
The subject of prenuptial agreements is quite complicated and multifaceted, so I specifically
asked the masters for their viewpoint. They do have a strong preference, and they proceeded to
communicate this.

While they are not totally against prenuptial agreements, such agreements definitely are not their
first choice. They said that this is because a prenuptial agreement is basically a predivorce
agreement. Thus it carries within it the implied prophecy of eventual separation and an
underlying attitude that speaks of a less-than-total commitment. The prenuptial agreement brings
into the union of marriage an attitude of separateness. This can leave the person who has fewer
material assets feeling that there is almost an inevitable likelihood of abandonment. It also leaves
that person with the feeling that this agreement has been made because the other person is of
more value simply because he or she is the one with more money and other material assets.

The Hierarchy would like to see people who join in marriage really love and care for one another
and look upon that union as a holy union of two becoming one group body within the vaster
body of God. From their perspective, the prenuptial agreement serves to reduce this spiritual
union of souls into one based on possessions and separateness. Again, the very term “prenuptial
agreement” presupposes separation and divorce rather than affirming commitment and unity.
This is why the masters are not in favor of it.

They go on to say, however, that they understand the complexities within which we, as a race,
are functioning in today’s world. The fact is that there are many divorces, and all too often the
worst comes out of people at these times. Although the masters are not in the habit of telling
people what they should or should not do, they say that if partners feel more comfortable with
this sort of agreement, they should follow their own inner guidance and needs. For some, it will
indeed save much arguing in the eventuality of a divorce, and the less discord, the better. Also,
sometimes these agreements relate to inheritance by children from previous unions, and clarity
about this may be important in order to avoid future misunderstandings. The important thing is
that couples enter into a union with whole-hearted love and commitment.

The Hierarchy’s View of Multiple Spouses

According to the Hierarchy, having one wife — or one husband, for that matter — is quite
sufficient. In fact, they have gone on to paraphrase Jesus by stating, “The challenges of one
romantic relationship is sufficient unto itself.” They do want to address this point, because
various cultures throughout the ages have allowed or urged males to have several wives at once.

They have said that during different times in history, this practice was thought of as a necessary
practicality. This was sometimes the case when there was a shortage of men because large
numbers of them had been killed in battle. Other cultures viewed polygamy as the most practical
way to run a household. In many cultures this involved tending flocks and other things of similar
nature.

Even in situations where this type of arrangement seemed to be the practical solution to many
daily problems, it frequently created a constant energy of jealousy and competition among the
wives — who was the favorite, who held the most power by virtue of being the eldest, who held
the most appeal by virtue of being the youngest and most attractive, and so forth. This feeling
among the wives was the same whether they were tending sheep or were part of the great
dynasties that also practiced plural marriage. In the United States, the Mormons practiced
polygamy openly until near the end of the nineteenth century. In 1890, the Mormon Church
ordered that this practice cease.

Polygamy still exists today in certain cultures and in isolated situations in the United States. It is
much more inappropriate today than in the past, for it is in direct conflict with the new energies
of equality, balance and the manifestation of the mother principle on the Earth. We are moving
away from the domination of patriarchal values into an era of balance between the masculine and
feminine and an honoring of the mother. In addition, any plural marital arrangement is not the
equal union of two people involved in a committed and loving relationship, but rather an
indulgence of the negative egos of the men of that culture to the detriment of the women.

With all due respect to other cultures and the various needs that were present during certain
periods of history, the masters tell me that it was in fact a matter of satisfying these needs from a
male viewpoint only. In actuality, this practice allowed the negative-ego needs of a man to
prevail and be indulged.

There is a related topic that the masters want to discuss, for it deals with a potentially very
damaging situation. They wish to warn all lightworkers to be aware that similar situations are
springing up in our midst. As most of you know, there is a certain type of spiritual leader who
attempts to play on the feminine energy by convincing his female followers that they are divinely
endowed. Such a leader further attempts to persuade every woman with whom he wants to have
sex that she should feel honored and comply with his wishes with no hesitation whatsoever.

This, of course, is a gross distortion of the use of sacred energies, and is a manipulation of the
most damaging nature. It is to be avoided at all costs, yet it is going on even as you are reading
this book. It is more common than most of us might suspect. The masters wish to make you
aware of these practices, as some of these leaders are so smooth in their approach that even
advanced lightworkers can buy into their program before becoming aware of what is really going
on. To be forewarned is to be forearmed, so make sure that you use your discernment when
listening to anyone’s teachings. Certainly when asked to participate in anything that feels the
least bit suspicious to you, listen to that inner voice and retreat with haste.

Remember always that the ascension process involves integrity with ourselves first. Sometimes
we are called on to be highly discriminating in order to know when our integrity is being
infringed. Never do anything that goes against your grain. It is far wiser to err on the part of
caution than to participate in something you are unsure of. This is equally applicable to men and
women. We are all attempting to climb the heights, but we must also pay heed to the depths and
to all possible pitfalls.

Any path that separates or fragments us from self or instills guilt or seeks to control is not
sanctioned by the Hierarchy. The true path of ascension guides us to unity with self, and our true
path calls us to maintain an attitude of utmost integrity and respect for every person. All else is
manipulation and should be avoided like the plague!

The Effect of AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Needless to say, the effect that AIDS has had on the way people interact sexually has been great
indeed. While a part of the population seems to be living in a state of denial, the fact remains that
with the introduction of the AIDS virus into our culture, there has been a vast swing away from
the free-love attitude of the sixties and seventies. The attitude that sex was becoming more and
more common, even for preteens, has given way to that of “I may be paying for this lovemaking
with my very life.”

This concern actually began with herpes, as people were told that there was no cure for it but
only a possibility of controlling it to some degree. Caution then began. Herpes, and ultimately
AIDS, turned the tide of the sexual revolution rather quickly, although there are still some who
choose a state of denial. Yet fear and concern haunt everyone these days; even those who seem
to deny it by their actions, hold that fear in their hearts.

From one important perspective, this causes us all to pause and reflect on the way we were
indulging in sex in the not-too-distant past. Sex was never meant to be a source of casual
diversion and entertainment, and this is now being driven home to us in a less-than-pleasant way.
We were always meant to come back to this awareness, though not in such a harsh and deadly
manner as the AIDS virus has done. I have dealt with the nature of AIDS in Hidden Mysteries ,
so I am not going to focus on that here. The point is that AIDS is a fact, and it is up to us what
we do with that reality. We need to look at the lessons that can be learned from observing our
responses both to AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

The first aspect I would like to look at is the pendulum swing. What we had before the sexual
revolution of the sixties and seventies was a sexually uptight and inhibited society. Even couples
who were married and intimate on almost every other level often had a hard time being open
about sexuality. Women were not encouraged to speak of their menstrual cycle, but were forced
instead to come up with some coy and inappropriate phrase in order to convey to their partner
that they were in their menstrual cycle and/or were experiencing pain as a result of it. PMS was
considered to be “all in your head.” So women were left alone, without anyone to discuss their
“supposed” mental or emotional problems with.
Sex usually occurred only in the dark and was hardly ever discussed even between the most
intimate of married couples, so it isn’t hard to understand how, in that atmosphere of such
extreme repression, the pendulum would take such a dramatic swing in the opposite direction.
Hence, in the sixties and seventies we had the era of free love and all it entailed. Because
pendulums, always seeking their point of greatest balance, will swing to and fro until that point
of balance is found, the next great swing originated in our concern about sexually transmitted
diseases, with herpes at the fore until AIDS made all other such diseases insignificant by
comparison.

Now the pendulum is once again seeking a point of balance, so we must take the best of the
lessons current situations and conditions can offer. I am not saying that AIDS is here by divine
intent in order to teach us these lessons, but we may as well learn from what has manifested
before us.

One point worth noting is that at first, humanity tried to use AIDS as a vehicle for further
separation and discrimination. It was first blamed on the gay population because AIDS first took
hold in the gay community. Some people even went so far as to say that homosexuals were being
punished by God through this horrible disease. Of course, they did not realize at that point that
AIDS is a disease of the blood, and the act of sex between two men made them more vulnerable
to the transmission of this disease. The gay and lesbian community was attacked horribly and
quite unjustly — an attack that attempted to keep “them” separate from “us.”

Then AIDS was found to be more in evidence in the black and poorer communities, and we had
yet another them versus us type of situation. I am left wondering how long humanity as a whole
will continue looking for scapegoats instead of realizing that humanity is all one whole.

Eventually, of course, it was learned that AIDS, though sexually transmitted, can also be
transmitted through infected blood. The ultimate effect, though, was to make everyone aware
that there are no scapegoats and that humanity as a whole must deal with this disease together.
This, the Hierarchy states, is a far better situation than if AIDS were confined to certain portions
of the population, for it has helped bring people together.

People once again are being forced to look at the specialness of sex and the intimacy it is meant
to express between two loving, caring and committed people. However, this also brings up the
question of just how committed we are and how important a role intercourse has when compared
to the unconditional expression of love itself.

I often wonder at the dilemma that two people find themselves in when one partner is diagnosed
with AIDS, not as the result of cheating but from a previous relationship or a transfusion of
infected blood. What happens to the love that has been shared between them and to the
commitment? Because there is so much fear surrounding the terrible effects of AIDS, only the
strongest and most soul/monadic-based relationships are able to survive this extreme test. It is
one of the hardest tests of our times, yet viewed through the soul/monadic lens, it can be one of
our greatest opportunities.

By no means am I saying this with a cavalier attitude. The stamina and level of love and
commitment must be strong if one is to see one’s mate through a positive HIV diagnosis, yet a
great opportunity is there. Quite often the illness itself will take years to manifest, if at all, and
there are various alternative health treatments that can outwit its manifestation altogether. But
one must be utterly and totally committed, because one’s basic instinct is to run from danger or
what one perceives as potential danger.

I am not advising anyone to follow anything other than their own inner guidance, but I would
suggest that we take time in meditation to see just what our highest and clearest guidance is. It is
most important in any challenging situation that we do not simply react. So take time to connect
in meditation with your soul and monad; journal and commune with the various aspects of
yourself, the masters and God before taking any action. This guidance is for all extreme
situations, for the question is ultimately the same: “Will I react out of my fear-based negative
ego, or will I act from the love and wisdom of my own I Am Presence?”

In regard to AIDS, all of us can go within and see where we are still reacting with fear and
prejudice, then work to replace this with love, wisdom and compassion. If we use each situation
to learn, to grow in awareness and understanding and to reach toward God for our decisions,
everything can support the outworking of the divine plan. If we have the strength and courage to
ask what can be learned here and what is for the highest good in this situation, then everything
serves as our teacher and propels us upward on our path of ascension. This is my prayer for us
all.

Celibacy and Marriage

The masters recently told me that there are rare cases in which celibate marriages are
appropriate. This is not for the average initiate or even for most people who have passed their
seventh initiation while in body, but it does have a place among the few.

One such example is the case of Lahiri Mahasaya, who was very advanced spiritually. He was a
direct disciple of Babaji and was instrumental in the founding of the Self-Realization Fellowship.
Yogananda, in Autobiography of a Yogi, relates how one night Mahasaya’s wife awoke to find
him levitating in a corner of their room. After that she called him her guru and became an official
disciple of kriya yoga and the teachings Mahasaya imparted. It is obvious that this was not a
typical marriage. The two of them lived lives of such devotion to God that sex simply was not
part of their focus.

However, this is not commonplace and is not recommended. Certainly one partner should never
try to enforce this, because the other would feel rejected and would miss the special bond of
sexual intimacy. But, because the spiritual acceleration is so great at this time, what happened in
the case of Lahiri Mahasaya might well happen to other couples. If you are in a committed
relationship and this shift honestly takes place within both of you, then by all means follow that
energy. But this by no means implies that you are taking the vow of celibacy for a lifetime. You
are simply honoring certain frequencies at that time.

In this instance, the Hierarchy’s advice to married couples about having sex at least once a
month would obviously not apply. Some couples might even find that they desire to marry with
the understanding that a basically celibate relationship is to ensue. An initial physical bonding is
recommended even here, but of course each couple must decide what is right for them. The times
are bringing forth such rapid development that the Hierarchy foresees an increase in celibate
marriages.

The masters wish to reiterate that this is not something either to seek out or to strive for but
something that might arise out of the combination of various frequencies functioning at this
particular time. The couple must also be open-minded about shifting to a more normal
relationship if the energies shift back again. This must be agreed on in advance by both partners.
The masters felt that it was important to mention this so that if you belong to this rare group of
couples, you need not think anything is wrong with you.

It is important that a decision to be celibate does not come out of a psychological disturbance,
wherein celibacy is used as an excuse to avoid facing sexual issues. Although celibacy is not the
goal of any aspect of the ascension process, it might be the effect of certain energies at play. If
there is a committed love between the couple and a joint appreciation of the unique process at
hand, there is no need for the couple to refrain from honoring this unique and rare calling.

Releasing All Judgments

We have been dealing with extremely sensitive topics, and it is important not to feel any guilt or
shame over past or present actions. It is equally important that you do not pass even the subtlest
judgment on your partner. One of the subjects we have discussed at length was the importance of
being faithful to one’s partner and not engaging in affairs on any level. However, perhaps you
have been involved in an affair or even now find yourself caught in that dilemma. It is important
that you do not drag yourself down with feelings of shame and guilt. What we are attempting to
convey, with this and other topics, is the ideal toward which to move in order to live a life in
harmony with oneself and God.

We have pointed out the pitfalls of having an affair and have given guidelines that can stop this
process before it has the power to engulf you. But if out of confusion or loneliness within your
relationship you have found that having affairs has brought you solace of some sort, all we ask
you to do is to look at healthier, more productive ways to handle things. Please do not compound
an already complex situation with feelings of guilt and shame. Compassion and forgiveness of
oneself and others are key attributes for progress upon the path of ascension.

There might have been certain other periods in your life when you felt outside the mainstream
and confused about your heightened sensitivities. You might have frequented bars in an attempt
to escape the depth of feelings and energies you were connecting with but did not understand.
Many masters in the making have little understanding of the process or nature of the spiritual
path. Some might be found sitting alone in a bar, searching for answers or a way to numb certain
energy frequencies. It is important that you release all judgments of yourself for such actions. It
is also important to let go of condemning yourself for times when you have judged, or were
prejudiced against, certain individuals or groups.

There are many phases and ways of dealing with things that we go through on our path
homeward. At each step we need to learn the lessons from the situation, be willing to move
forward and hold an attitude of total compassion and forgiveness. As Yogananda once said, “A
saint is a sinner who never gave up.”
All of us have our own points of weakness and our areas of strength, so we need great
compassion for both ourselves and our partners. If your partner is stuck in a place that seems
obviously limiting to you, simply be there to support him or her so that she can more easily get
beyond that stage. Mistakes are part of the learning process and are to be expected. In fact, what
might be a mistake for one person could well be the school of accelerated learning for another.
We must learn to let go of all judgments as we continue on our paths of evolution and ascension
into the light.
12
The Golden Keys to Effective Romantic
Relationships
The last chapter in this book is meant to synthesize and summarize what I consider to be the 166
golden keys to effective romantic relationships. This chapter might be considered “the Cliff notes
of romantic relationships” from the perspective of the soul, monad and Spiritual Hierarchy. Here
are reviewed a number of the major keys from throughout the book for making your relationship
work, and additional “golden nuggets” have been added. In this chapter I attempt to condense
this vast subject into an easy-to-read and practical compendium.

1. Unconditional Love
Personality-level relationships function on a premise of conditional love. Soul and monadic level
romantic relationships strive to be unconditionally loving at all times. From the perspective of
the soul and monad, it is never acceptable to attack your partner. It is important to be honest, but
this is always done in an unconditionally loving and respectful manner no matter how bad the
misbehavior of your partner is. In truth, each person is the eternal Self, and all ideally are related
to from this vantage point.

2. Relationship to Self and to God

The most important relationship in your life is not your relationship to your spouse or partner,
your children, the ascended masters or God. The single most important factor in your life for
making your relationships work is your relationship to yourself . If you are wrong with yourself,
you will be wrong with God and your partner. If you are run by your emotional body, your inner
child, your negative ego and your subconscious mind, how can you possibly be right with
another person?

In my counseling practice of over 15 years, whenever I would see a couple for relationship
counseling, I would see them together only once. Then I would do individual work to get them
right with themselves before I would see them together again. In my professional experience, 80
percent of the problems were cleared up by getting each person into their personal power, self-
mastery, self-love, proper parenting of their inner child and the conscious creating of their own
reality. The second most important relationship in your life is your relationship to God. If these
two relationships aren’t right, your romantic relationship will have problems.

3. Forgiveness
This includes self-forgiveness and forgiveness of your partner. Jesus said, “Do unto others as you
would have others do unto you,” As A Course in Miracles says, “Forgiveness is the key to
happiness.” Lack of forgiveness hurts self much more than it hurts others. Everything that
happens in life is a lesson, a challenge and an opportunity to grow. Mistakes can be turned into
gold by learning from them!

4. Preferences, Not Attachments

Learn to have preferences instead of attachments and addictions in your relationships. Buddha
said that all suffering comes from your attachments. A preference is the attitude that if you don’t
get what you seek, you are still happy. With attachments and addictions, if you don’t get what
you want, you lose your happiness and inner peace and usually you get upset and angry. These
negative emotions are caused by one’s own faulty attitude.

5. Self-Actualization
Learn to develop centered, whole relationships and not father/daughter, mother/son relationships.
When each one is right with self and right with God, the couple bonds as two self-actualized,
independent people. When one is not right with oneself or right with God, one ends up seeking
wholeness in another person instead of within one’s own being. There is no judgment in this, for
we have all done this in past lives and this life. All is forgiven, but as one evolves, one’s
romantic relationships need to change.

6. Communication
What may be the most important key of all is communication. Virginia Satir, the famous
marriage/family counselor, said, “Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to
living.” It can’t get much clearer than that! Where the lines of communication are not open, the
relationship is doomed to failure. When the lines of communication are open, anything can be
worked out. People who communicate effectively make mountains into molehills. People who
don’t communicate effectively make molehills into mountains!

7. Commitment
Being committed is keeping one’s spiritual vows to your partner on all levels. It is also a
commitment to communicate when things are bothering you and not to stuff things away.
Commitment deals with holding up your end of the partnership on all levels. It is a commitment
to love and help your partner as well as yourself to become actualized to your highest potentials.

8. The Need to Be Right

The key question is always, “Do you want harmony, or do you want to be right?” You cannot
have both. The need to be right is run by the negative ego. Set the example of admitting you are
wrong and have made mistakes. This example will inspire your partner to do the same, and even
if it doesn’t, you are doing it for yourself and God anyway. Never forget that God and the
ascended masters listen to your every word! This is especially true of high-level disciples and
initiates.

9. Communicating through Ego

Never communicate when you are caught up by your negative ego or in excessive anger. Make
this agreement with your partner. When the negative ego is engaged, you are not right with
yourself or right with God. In this mode, communication will only end up hurting and scarring
your partner. You will end up feeling guilty later for what you said when you were too
overidentified with your emotional body. It would be better to go off by yourself and cool down,
meditate and journal.

It is always better to communicate about heavy things in a calm, rational, loving manner. When I
started doing this in my relationship, we were able to improve our relationship as much as 80
percent from this simple insight. Usually when we would come back and communicate after
cooling down, we would resolve things in short order. We would both set a spiritual example
upon resuming communication, for we would both realize that we were off center, and this
would inspire both of us to be as Christ-like as possible.

10. Anger
Anger is ego, and don’t be deluded into thinking it isn’t. When your buttons get pushed and
anger arises, it can be dealt with in your relationship in one of two ways. One is intrapsychically
and one is extrapsychically. The intrapsychic method is to resolve the issue in your mind or
journal and/or do attitudinal healing work. Catharsis on occasion may be also appropriate.

The extrapsychic method is to express and communicate your feelings to your partner, but this
must be done in a loving way. There is no such thing as righteous anger. The negative ego will
tell you there is, but there is not. The true definition of anger is “loss of control and an attempt to
regain it.” Negative anger is transformed into positive anger by using it as an energy source
channeled in a proper direction. Tough love and being a spiritual warrior is one example. Energy
is transformed in a positive direction.

11. Primary vs. Secondary Communication

Primary communication is where you communicate from a state of absolute egolessness.
Secondary communication, which is also an essential tool to have at your disposal, is to
communicate your negative emotions, which are triggered by the negative ego, in a loving way.
We all have to use this secondary communication method at times, for no one on this planet is
clear all the time. The third form of communication, which is the wrong one, is to take out your
negative emotions on another person. If you find yourself doing this, major work on yourself is
needed.

12. Arguments
Arguing is a manifestation of the negative ego and should be stopped the second it starts. It is
much more important in life to maintain oneness and love. The question here is, “Do you want to
argue, or do you want oneness?”

13. The Difference between Spiritual Discernment, Observation, Judgment and

Criticism
It is never appropriate to judge or criticize your partner — or anyone else, for that matter. It is
fine and necessary to have observations and spiritual discernments, for they are loving. Judgment
and criticism are not. It is not meant that you should not see or think. The key is in having an
observation or spiritual discernment about your partner and knowing whether or not to share it.

One of the most important keys in a relationship is knowing when to talk and when to be silent.
You are not your partner’s guru or spiritual teacher. It is much more important for you to be
concerned with learning your own lessons than being concerned with your partner’s. When it is
appropriate to share some feedback with your partner, you can say something like, “Honey, I
have an observation and spiritual discernment I would like to share with you if you are open to
hearing it.” If they don’t want to hear it, then keep your mouth shut.

It was a big relief to me when I realized that I didn’t have to be my wife’s teacher. Being a
psychologist and spiritual teacher, I see a great many things, but I don’t need to share everything.
When it is appropriate to share, say it once and then let it go. We all know that nagging and
harping do not work.

14. Timing
The inner child wants to express everything instantly, for it wants instant gratification and instant
release. This is not always the best move and can lead to disastrous consequences. Every
communication should be expressed in the proper tao, or moment. The same communication
expressed in the same way can produce positive or negative results, depending on whether the
proper timing was taken into consideration.

15. Honesty
Spiritual honesty in a mature form is different than inner-child honesty. A child may blurt out
everything with no self-control or discernment. This can be hurtful and inappropriate. Many
people think that this is what honesty means. This is not honesty; it is oral diarrhea. Spiritual
honesty, in its mature form, is communicating what is appropriate in a loving, respectful manner.
Some things in life are better left unsaid. Some things are between oneself and God. Some things
are better dealt with in your journal. Go within and soul-search as to what your true motivation is
for wanting to say something.

16. Praying for Help

When you pray to God, the Holy Spirit, Sai Baba and/or the ascended masters for help in your
relationship when things are going wrong or you are at an impasse, God and the God force can
undo energetically a lot of blocks and help move things along.

17. When Divorce Is the Answer

Divorce is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it is the right choice. Many times in my counseling
practice, my function has been to help people get divorced rather than bring them back together.
One should not leave a relationship too soon, but neither should one hang on long past the time
when it no longer serves those involved. Life is too precious. But the other key here is never to
leave a relationship until you learn its lessons. Otherwise you are destined to repeat the same
lessons with a new partner!

18. Putting Your Spiritual Path First

So often in my counseling practice I would see very spiritual people get involved in new
relationships, get comfortable in their relationship and discontinue their focus on their spiritual
development. They were very committed to the spiritual path as long as they were single, but
somehow when they got into a relationship they began to let go of it. We must all put our
relationship on the altar before God and our spiritual path. If we don’t, life will bring us
challenges in an attempt to get us to straighten out our misaligned priorities.

19. Invulnerability
This is one of the most important qualities to develop to make your relationship work. It is the
understanding that you create your own reality and your own emotions. Neither your partner nor
anyone else causes these. Just because you are married or in a committed relationship doesn’t
mean that the relationship or marriage causes your emotions. The development of invulnerability
means that no outside person or situation can take away your inner peace and joy unless you
choose to allow this to happen.

Every person is emotionally vulnerable in this regard. We must each develop a strong
psychological immune system. In actuality, there is no such thing as a contagious physical
disease; there are only people with low physical resistance. The same is true on the psychological
level. When your partner is irritable, moody or angry, you don’t have to take on his or her
emotional state. Have compassion but do not allow yourself to absorb his emotions. Your job is
to stay centered and help bring your partner up, rather than allow him to bring you down.

The same applies to feelings of sadness, depression and grief. You can try to help where this is
appropriate. But these are your partner’s emotions, not yours. When it is aimed at you, you can
choose to practice humility and turn the other cheek. Or you can communicate your spiritual
observations to your partner in a loving way and your preference that they not do this. As A
Course in Miracles says, “An attack is a call for love.” Defensiveness and retaliation are not
appropriate responses. The ideal romantic relationship deals with the transcendence of negative
ego.

20. Maintaining the Romance

There is a common belief that there is an inevitable loss of romance in all marriages. I am here to
say that this is not true. The romance, the passion, the spark, can be kept going indefinitely.
However, to achieve this takes conscious work so that bad habits are not allowed to grow like
weeds in your relationship garden. When issues of having children, money pressures or job
pressures enter in, even more consciousness is needed so that the spark of romance is not
diminished.

In a relationship, it is often the little things that make all the difference, such as writing little
loving notes, making a loving phone call, bringing flowers or buying a little gift for no special
reason, and creating special times for romantic intimacy. In my relationship we created a date
night that we always kept. We might meditate together or go for a walk together.

Creating a time once a week for taking care of business, both personal and work-related, works
well. To maintain romance, one must become a master of priorities and time management. In the
busy life of modern society, all lessons of life must be appropriately balanced. The romance
factor must not be put on the bottom of the priority list.

21. Sexuality
This is quite a complex issue, and in Soul Psychology I have attempted to address it in great
detail. What is crucial here is to create the time for this important part of your relationship. Each
couple will differ in terms of what this means. Higher-level initiates may not have sexual
relationships as often as younger disciples, although there is no hard and fast rule. Ascending
couples may be interested in tantric sexuality for the purposes of enjoyment and raising the
sexual energy. With tantric sex, the couple uses sexual involvement as a type of meditation.

Couples must find a selfish/selfless balance in terms of the sexual relationship so that both
partners’ needs are met. Both must ask for what they want and be willing to teach their partner.
Often relationships get into sexual habits and ruts that become rather unexciting after a while,
and both parties must be willing to experiment a little and, perhaps, take chances. It is essential
that both parties be willing to initiate sexual involvement, for this should not be only the man’s
job. Both partners should try to serve one another’s needs first while enjoying the sexual
interaction. Communication in this area, as in all areas of life, is the key.

During one phase of my life when sexual expression was not much of a priority and I was more
interested in raising the energy, I asked Djwhal Khul’s opinion about this. He said this was often
the case with couples on the path of ascension, and that this was okay. But he said that couples
should not go more than three months without sexual contact, for there is a certain kind of
bonding and connection that needs to be maintained.

I am not saying that couples should not have sex as much as they want. I am trying to show here
an extreme in couples who are not sexually focused. With sexuality, as with all things, balance,
moderation and integration in other areas of one’s life must be maintained. It is another form of
communication and an expression of love. Sexual expression is appropriate when it serves the
higher self and not the lower or carnal self. Sexuality is appropriate when it is loving, supportive
and pleasurable to both partners. Sexuality is appropriate in terms of that which creates intimacy
and love.

22. Finding Your Mate

The key to finding a spiritual, romantic relationship, a twin flame or a soulmate in this regard is
to not need one and to be perfectly happy and whole in your relationship to yourself and God.
The second key here is to pray to God and the masters for help in making this happen. The third
key is to put one’s entire energies into one’s spiritual path and service work. Surrender your
prayer into God’s hands. Just forget about it and know that it will manifest when the time is
right.
Your total commitment to God, your spiritual path and your service work will attract a spiritual
mate who has an equal commitment in his or her own life. This will show up when the time is
right. Your prayer preference has been stated, and if it is meant to be, it will happen. If it isn’t
meant to be, then you will be so happy and fulfilled in your relationship to your higher self, God,
the masters and your service work that it will not matter. There are some on the spiritual path
who do much better being single, which is much better than being with the wrong person. I think
you can all agree.

23. Ending a Relationship

You should never end a relationship until you have learned the lessons of that relationship.
Otherwise you are destined to relive the same lessons in a new relationship. It is also essential
that we on the spiritual path work out our relationship issues with our parents and all past
relationships. Otherwise these relationships will be projected onto our current relationship.

24. Balance in Selfishness/Selflessness

The issue of maintaining an appropriate selfish/selfless balance is a very important lesson in
relationships. Women often tend to be too selfless, although this can also be true of men. This
lesson speaks to the importance of having appropriate boundaries and knowing how to say no
and not feel guilty. It also speaks to knowing how to say yes decisively and not feel resentful. In
every relationship there is a time to be spiritually selfish and a time to be spiritually selfless and a
time for compromise. There is a time to look at the intensity of the feelings of both partners and
make decisions that take this important factor into account. Awareness and balance are the keys.

25. Balance in Self-Identity and Couple Identity

Each person has an independent identity. In a couple relationship, there is also a group body
formed on the etheric, emotional, mental and spiritual level. This is why your partner’s suffering
is as much a concern to you as your own. It is important to avoid symbiosis and codependency.
One should not take on the pain of the other, but compassion and concern are natural and
appropriate responses. The act of getting married is the commitment to this bond. The key is to
maintain a balance where you are neither too independent or too immersed in the group body.

26. Complementation
Complementation is different from codependent, father/daughter or mother/son relationships.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses. When two people come together, it is usually
because they are totally alike or totally different and therefore they complement each other well.
This can apply to certain sun signs or certain types of ray configurations. It applies to one being
more of a mystic and the other being more of an occultist. It applies to one being more of a
mental type and the other more of an emotional type. Maybe one operates more from the heart
and the other the third eye. These types of complements are wonderful.

One person might be more socially adept and the other a better meditator. One person may be
more right brained and the other more left brained. One may access information more through
listening and the other through seeing. The list of possibilities is endless. It is important to
become aware of how you and your partner complement each other, This creates richness and a
greater wholeness in life. Your partner becomes your teacher. The goal is for each partner to
integrate what the other has to offer. Relationships that are opposite in nature are sometimes
more difficult, but they also offer enormous opportunities for spiritual growth.

27. Relationship as Spiritual Training

Romantic relationships are the ultimate teachers for spiritual growth and self-realization. There is
no better way to become self-realized than to be in a marriage and/or committed romantic
relationship. The romantic relationship is guaranteed to bring up all, and I mean all, of your stuff.
Any dysfunctional pattern or complex in your subconscious mind that is not apparent is
guaranteed to be triggered. Anyone can be spiritual living in a cave, in a monastery or in the
Himalayas. The true test of being spiritual is living in the marketplace. If you can practice the
presence of God in your romantic relationship, you can do it anywhere. Romantic relationships
are the ultimate teaching tool if you use them in that way.

As I look back over my relationship history, I see each woman I was involved with as a spiritual
training course, as was I for them. I have always used my relationships for this purpose, and I
mean this in a very positive sense. Each partner had different spiritual gifts, which I took
advantage of for spiritual growth. And I functioned in a similar manner for them. Even when
these relationships ended, we both felt good about each other, for we appreciated what we had
gained.

Each romantic relationship or friendship helps bring to the surface certain disowned selves that
we need to own. These might be called undeveloped parts of ourselves. If, in every relationship
and friendship, these are owned and integrated through allowing oneself to learn from that
person, over time enormous wholeness is achieved. This is also why those with a diverse
relationship history have the opportunity for great learning and growth. Each relationship and
friendship is like a spiritual workshop. There is also much spiritual growth and beauty that comes
from being with one person for a whole lifetime. One is not better than another; it is just a matter
of learning from the life experiences and destiny that unfold for us.

28. Trust
Trust is a key component of every healthy relationship. If trust is broken in a relationship, the
chances of that relationship working are greatly decreased. This is why issues such as adultery
are so serious. Having an affair breaks the bond of trust, and it is often impossible to get it back.

In my counseling practice, I have sometimes been able to patch relationships back together by
the use of a relationship contract. It is like a new set of personal and spiritual vows, with God
and the masters serving as witnesses when appropriate. The spiritual contract serves as a vehicle
to reestablish the trust factor. New commitments are written out on paper. In reality it is like a
new spiritual marriage contract.

29. Understanding Your Types

I have spoken of the four-body system in regard to relationships in which one is the emotional
type and the other the more mental type. This can also be seen in the heavenly and earthly
balance. Usually one person is a little more heavenly, spiritual or etheric and the other more
grounded and earthy. This, of course, encompasses the fire, air, Earth and water types, or mental,
emotional, intuitive and sensation function type. It is a helpful exercise to look at your type and
tendency and then see your partner’s. It is extremely important not to get locked into your
particular lens and to be open to learning from your partner’s lens. The ideal is to strive for the
greatest possible sense of wholeness. This is a great strength, and it increases in magnitude when
having a partner. There is a greater sense of wholeness present when our relationship tendencies
are understood and integrated with our partner’s. Over time both partners become more whole in
the process.

30. Ego Battles

What do you do when ego battles take place? This occurs in every relationship at times, and no
one should be ashamed of this. I have found one tool to be extremely effective. We would sit
down on the sofa and do a short meditation to connect with our monads. We would hold hands
and do this and totally connect to spirit. Then we would begin talking from our connection to this
higher place.

Another method would be to read some passages from sacred scriptures. The attainment of spirit
is what helps transcend the negative ego. One might also call in the Holy Spirit for help, for the
Holy Spirit is the answer to all delusions of the negative ego. I cannot recommend these
techniques more strongly. Whenever something heavy or difficult would come up, we would
both do this. In less difficult discussions it would not be necessary. We saved it for the heavier
processing.

31. Staying Current

Don’t let things build up too much. It must be understood here that it is possible to communicate
too little, and it is also possible to communicate too much. I have seen some couples who spend
all their time processing. They don’t know how to let go of things and have fun. Sometimes
simply enjoying each other is the best medicine. The reverse of this is holding things in too
much, which then causes what I call the Mt. Vesuvius method of communication — the volcanic
eruption. Couples need to learn to stay on top of things.

One time I asked my grandparents, who had been married for over 50 years, what their secret
was for their lasting marriage. My grandmother said something I thought was extremely wise.
She said that the key to the success in their marriage was that she would never allow herself and
my grandfather to go to bed angry. She would always force communication to clear things before
they went to sleep. This is a good piece of wisdom for us all. The issue of staying current in your
communication is like weeding your garden every day instead of waiting to do it once a week or
once a month.

32. Feedback
Feedback should only be given if it is asked for. It is not your job to point out all of your
partner’s lessons. In my relationships, I would see my partner, for example, eating foods that
were not good for her, or in bad combinations, which went against my beliefs. It might have been
appropriate to mention this one time, but after that, my lesson was to keep my mouth shut. It was
none of my business. In reverse, there were certain pieces of feedback I was not interested in
hearing from my wife. Once was okay, maybe even twice, but after that I did not want to hear it
anymore.

It is very important that both partners understand and respect this right. The same is true on the
psychological level. I would see a great many things going on, but I am not my wife’s counselor
and she is not mine. Even though I am a psychologist and spiritual teacher by trade, I did not feel
a need to be this in my relationships, which made the relationships work much better. I see many
lightworkers who often cannot make this separation. Lightworkers should be much more
concerned with working on themselves than working on their partners.

33. The Homemaker Role

The homemaker in a relationship is usually the woman, but sometimes these roles are reversed. It
must be understood from a spiritual perspective that being a homemaker and/or raising children
is one of the most noble of all professions. The woman, in truth, is the guru and spiritual teacher
for the children. What can be more noble than this? Everything is energy, and one profession or
form of work is no better than another. In every relationship there must be an equal exchange.
How this is worked out does not matter, but each person must carry his or her weight.

34. Independent Activities

It is very important in every relationship that both partners have independent lives apart from
each other. It is true that sometimes a little absence makes the heart grow fonder. There is danger
in becoming too symbiotic, or joined at the hip. In a mature relationship, it is totally permissible
and appropriate for each person to have separate friends with whom they spend time. There are
friends you see together and friends you see separately. There are some spiritual practices you
might do together and some you do separately. It is very important to allow this space in a
balanced way.

35. Self-Worth
A feeling of self-worth is essential in a relationship. If you do not love yourself and allow
yourself to receive love from God, then you will seek it from your partner and other people. This
will create neediness, victim consciousness and a smothering of the other person. We have all
heard it said that we cannot love others if we do not love ourselves. The same applies to self-
worth. If you don’t get it from within yourself, you will be driven to find constant approval from
other people, including your partner. But if you don’t feel worthy inside, no amount of external
recognition can fill the void.

36. Counseling
If you are having serious problems, seek professional help. If you have plumbing problems, you
call a plumber. If you can’t find a library book, ask the librarian for help. If you have electrical
problems, you call an electrician. If you are having marriage problems, go see a marriage
counselor. This is an act of strength, not an act of weakness. Sometimes a third objective party is
needed to facilitate getting through a certain block.

37. Praying for Your Partner

What do you do when your partner won’t take feedback on some very important issue? What I
recommend is to pray about it and put it into God’s hands. It is also possible to do affirmations
for your partner as well as visualizations or treatments for them without their knowledge. I have
also recommended this in the case where one partner was very spiritual and the other wasn’t.
Outer-plane work was not appropriate, but inner-plane work was. Patience, persistent effort and
nonattachment can often bring great dividends.

38. A Nonspiritual Mate

What do you do if your partner is not spiritual? This might sound like a strange statement to
those who could not imagine being in a relationship with a nonspiritual partner. I could never do
this myself, but there are many lightworkers who find themselves in this situation. My answer
here might surprise you. I do not necessarily recommend breaking up. This is a choice each
person must make. Sometimes the person, usually the man, is providing material and financial
contribution that is very important to the overall picture, and this should not be immediately
thrown out as unimportant.

It is not essential for all people to be involved with their twin flame or soulmate. People can seek
soulmate relationships with friends to fill this need. Understand that even if you found a
soulmate or twin flame, it doesn’t mean that you would get along with the person on a
personality level. You might be totally connected on a spiritual level, but sometimes more-
spiritual mates do not have their acts together on a financial and practical level, which can create
many problems. I am not recommending seeking nonspiritual relationships but simply saying
that the whole picture must be considered.

39. Seeing the Best

It is of the highest importance in your relationship to be a love-finder and not a faultfinder. This
is similar to being optimistic instead of pessimistic. What you see is governed by your thinking
and interpretation and is not necessarily the truth. We see through the lens of the programming
from all our past lives and this life. Seek to see the best in your partner. Seek to build up your
partner. You will see what you look for, and what you focus on is what you will see.

40. Homosexuality
As I have stated, from the perspective of the ascended masters, there is absolutely no judgment
regarding homosexuality. What Gods looks at is the quality of the relationship and the level of
love that exists. Everything I am saying in this book is applicable to all relationships.

41. Harmlessness
Cultivate the quality of harmlessness. It is important to set the example that no matter what
happens, no matter how serious a mistake your partner makes, you will be unceasingly harmless
in your response. Mistakes need to be forgiven. Mistakes must be dealt with honestly, but not in
a way that attacks the person.

42. Setting an Example

In my past relationships, I would always try to set a Christ-like example when fights or ego
battles would occur. In most of my relationships, this would inspire my partner to follow suit.
Often my partner’s example would also inspire me to be as God-like as possible. This give and
take could become very inspiring and would set a precedent for the entire relationship that was
both fulfilling and exhilarating.

I have been in some long-term relationships in which the person I was with was not quite as
clear, and she would stay stuck in her ego and not follow suit. As long as I was in this
relationship I took the approach of not caring, for all that was truly important to me was that I
stayed right with myself and right with God. If my partner wasn’t willing to take full Christ-like
responsibility, then this was her karma and was something she would have to work out between
herself and God. This gets back again to the importance of focusing on your own lessons above
all else. This last example, if not corrected over time, will probably lead to the ending of that
relationship.

43. Differences of Opinion

Differing opinions and perceptions are inevitable and appropriate in all relationships. Even the
ascended masters in their council meetings don’t always agree, although consensus is ultimately
achieved. Everyone thinks differently, so of course relationship partners will have different
perceptions at times. It would be boring if this weren’t so. When this happens in your
relationship, it is important to honor your partner’s opinion and perception as well as your own.
The key is to agree to disagree without creating any separation.

When the negative ego is involved, differences of opinion lead to arguments and separation.
Make it okay for you not to be clones of each other. This leads to a win-win in all situations,
never a win-lose. It leads to an “I’m okay, you’re okay” philosophy and a philosophy of diversity
within unity. The attitude in your relationship should be love and oneness at all times. In reality,
the whole purpose of the relationship has been to serve as a forum in which to practice staying in
love and oneness. It has been a forum set up by God to test your abilities to remain in Christ
consciousness rather than negative-ego consciousness.

44. Listening
It is absolutely essential to learn to listen to your partner before needing to come up with your
own opinions and thoughts on the issues you are dealing with. The lesson here is truly to listen
and hear what your partner has to say. Listening has a lot to do with caring. Never forget that
your partner is God visiting you in physical form. Aren’t you interested in what God has to say?
You are also God visiting your partner in physical form, and that is why you need to be true to
yourself. This is why you must listen and have compassion as well as follow the adage, “Above
all else, to thine own self be true.”
45. Bad Moods
If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything. If you are in a bad mood, explain
this to your partner and try not to take it out on him/her. If you are not right with yourself, take
some space. If you want help from your partner, ask for what you want, be it a hug, being held or
whatever. I will say here also that PMS is not a legitimate excuse for being moody or bitchy. It is
true that the hormones and emotions are kicked up at this time, so more mastery is needed. We
are each God and not victims of anything. If I offered you a million dollars to remain in a good
mood for two days, you could do it. I am not saying it would be easy, but you could do it if you
were motivated enough and/or your life depended on it.

46. The Opposite Sex

From the point of view of a high-level initiate, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the beauty
of the opposite sex on a physical level as long as the soul is seen also. Each man and woman is a
God and Goddess. The spirit should be acknowledged first, and then the physical beauty can be
enjoyed and appreciated. Seeing spirit first is the great equalizer. It keeps the heart and crown
open. It acknowledges each person as God regardless of the attractiveness or unattractiveness of
the physical vehicle.

It is important not to lust after another or commit adultery mentally, for it is as bad to think it as
to do it. From a spiritual orientation, sexual fantasy must be watched and monitored very closely,
for as you know, everything we think and visualize affects the other person. The higher you go in
your initiation process, the more powerful is the effect of your thinking and visualizing. To
commit adultery in your mind is not right. Consistency of commitment must be maintained on all
levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Djwhal Khul has said that pornography is of the
lower self and negative ego, and as you evolve, it is transcended.

47. The Sexual Bond

Understand that every sexual union and sharing of fluids between two people creates a bond for
life that cannot be broken. It can be broken in a psychological sense, but not in a spiritual sense.
The sharing of fluids in this matter creates a cord of energy that connects you with that person.
This is one of the reasons why the masters teach the example of creating sacredness in the
expression of sexuality. Do you really want etheric telephone lines with thousands of people?

But do not judge yourself about this. The lesson is to be such a light in this world that your light
will not allow you to be victimized by these cords, but rather uplift all others with whom you are
connected, even if you never physically see them.

48. Jealousy
Jealousy stems from not being right with oneself. It stems from the contamination of insecurity
within oneself, which leads to feelings of ownership of another and competition with known or
unknown competitors. It also demonstrates a lack of trust. Jealousy is a psychological cancer and
should be exterminated. It does not exist in people who bond completely from the Christ
consciousness. There is no judgment if it arises; it is simply a sign that attitudinal healing is
needed within oneself and in the relationship.

49. Letting Go
“Love develops from letting go, not from holding on.” Holding too tightly to love kills it.
Preferences should be stated and then let go of. If something is meant to be, it will come back to
you, and if it is not meant to be, then let it go. A bond based on this truth is the most powerful
and long-lasting, for it is free of all coercion.

50. Understanding Your Purpose in Relationship

Understand why you get involved in a romantic relationship in the first place. The true spiritual
reasons to become romantically bonded are to share love, to accelerate your spiritual growth and
to have more joy on your spiritual path. This is not to say that single people cannot have equal
joy, but most people are more the bonding type. Yet I would certainly have to say that beings
such as Jesus, Paramahansa Yogananda and Sai Baba were or are quite joyous on their own.

51. Loneliness vs. Being Alone

Understand the difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness develops when one is
not right with oneself and God, so that one seeks wholeness outside oneself. Being alone can be
a very exhilarating state of being. This is not to say that the single person may not at times have a
preference to be with people. But this is a preference , not an attachment or addiction. If it is a
need, attachment or addiction, it will manifest in feelings of loneliness. The single person who is
right with self, who enjoys his/her own company and is one with God, is never alone.

52. Defensiveness
There is the need for both partners to let go of ego sensitivity. There are two levels to this lesson.
One is to let go of hypersensitivity in general and learn to let things roll off like water off a
duck’s back. This is learning to respond instead of react. The second part of this lesson deals
with each person learning to develop a strong sense of self in terms of personal power, self-love,
self-worth and self-concept, so that the negative ego does not interpret things as rejection and
hurt when none has been intended.

People who are very ego sensitive will get defensive and insulted by just about anything you say
to them no matter how lovingly it is presented. Those who are very ego sensitive need to be
communicated to with extra love until they can transcend this character flaw. Be aware of this in
your own relationships. The more right with yourself and God you become, the less touchy you
are. Ego sensitivity is caused by past-life and current life lessons that have not been resolved on a
subconscious and conscious level.

53. The Inner Child

It is important to deal with your own inner child and your partner’s inner child appropriately. If
you don’t learn to parent your own inner child properly, there will be the need to have your
partner parent it for you. On the reverse side of the coin, it is important to be aware of your
partner’s inner child. Using this term in your communication can be a very helpful tool. It is a
loving and nonjudgmental term that we can all relate to.

Normally we think of dealing with our own inner child, but we don’t necessarily think about the
inner child of other people in our communication with them. An expression to your partner about
the concern for their inner child’s needs will be received in a very open and loving manner. We
are trying to get the higher self, conscious mind and inner child in proper alignment. The Huna
teachings from Hawaii call the higher self the aumakua. Aumakua is defined as the utterly
trustworthy parental self. We are meant to parent our inner child just as the aumakua parents us
in this utterly trustworthy manner.

54. The Right to Say No

A woman and a man have the right to say no. There should be no obligation to have sex if you
really don’t feel like it. There is a selfish/selfless balance in this area that must be considered,
however. Both partners should be able to say no and not feel guilty if they are not in the mood.
The man and woman must learn not to pout or punish if their needs are not met. This is childish
behavior.

Sexual energy is very strong, but mastery in service of God must be stronger. One must not
allow oneself to get attached to having sex. If this is the case, anger and pouting will result. If
one has to have a release, one can masturbate, and there is certainly nothing wrong with this. The
higher one goes in the initiation process, the more sacred the use of sexual energy becomes. This
is why when someone is sick or has chronic health lessons it is best to have sex less frequently to
save and conserve the person’s energies. This energy can then be used for healing. It takes a lot
of energy for the body to make sperm, for example. To constantly expend it in an overindulgent
way will deplete one’s health over time. Be moderate and balanced in your sexual practices.

55. Taking Your Partner for Granted

This is something that often occurs in marriages over time. It is very important to maintain the
specialness of your relationship. When this specialness begins to dissipate, make a conscious
effort to do things to redevelop it — for example, loving notes, special candlelight dinners,
unexpected presents, romantic weekend getaways and so on. Be creative!

56. Involved Detachment

There are three types of bonding patterns. One is being too attached and addicted to another
person. The second is the opposite, which is to be too detached, which is also not good. The ideal
is to have what can be called involved detachment. We all must be involved with life and people,
or what is the use of living and being incarnated? The key is to be fully involved with life, yet
simultaneously detached. This is similar to being in this world but not of it. Another way to put it
would be to bond out of preference rather than addiction.

57. Giving and Receiving Love

Often people are good at giving and not receiving. Or in some cases a person may be good at
receiving and not giving. This can be played out in one’s sexual relationship and in the
relationship in general. Ideally, balance should be striven for to achieve a mature, satisfying
relationship.

58. Sexual Stereotypes

Let go of masculine and feminine stereotypes in your relationship. Women, of course, have been
typed as emotional, passive, receptive, intuitive and nonassertive. Men are meant to be more
macho, stoic, assertive, goal-oriented and mental. This must all be let go of because it is part of
the old patterning that is ingrained in the consciousness of humanity. Men and women are
different — that is a fact. To think that they are exactly the same is illusion. But our goal is to
blend, in a balanced way, the inner male and female. This is one of the keys to the ascension
process.

59. Money
This can be a complex issue. In my opinion the best way to deal with money, if this is truly a
life-mate relationship, is to pool the money. Each person could have a separate bank account if
needed, or money could be drawn out of one account. Usually one person is better at dealing
with money than the other. There is nothing wrong with this. However, both people should have
a working knowledge of finances. Often in father/daughter relationships, for example, the man
will control the money and keep everything secret, and this is not good.

No one plans to get divorced, but it happens. Women often don’t have the first clue about the
family finances. I suggest a business meeting or financial meeting once a week, or at least once a
month, to go over everything. I recommend setting up a budget on paper together. Some couples
have separate money and separate bank accounts. I am not saying that this is wrong, but it is a
statement and symbol about the relationship. Its meaning should be examined very closely.

The next thing that comes to mind is the legal financial agreement called a prenuptial agreement.
This is nothing I would personally be involved with, for it seems to start the relationship off on a
bad note. I would not say it is inherently wrong. In some cases, this might be a consideration. If
someone has had many divorces and is not good at romantic relationships, this might need to be
considered.

60. Causes of Divorce

There are many reasons why people get divorced so much in our society. The first reason is that
people often get married at a very young age, before they have had a chance to develop
themselves and get right with both themselves and God. Young people often get married before
they have really opened to their spiritual life. Without the proper integration of spiritual life,
romantic relationships are destined for a very rocky road. First marriages are often personality-
level marriages and not soul marriages.

In regard to young marriages, most young people have not learned to properly parent their own
inner child. They have not learned to control their negative ego or master their emotions and
desires. Nor have they learned to control and reprogram the subconscious mind or to even think
properly. How can a romantic relationship work effectively if these lessons are not mastered to
some degree?

The second reason for divorce is that marriage is hard, and it takes a lot of work and
psychological and spiritual development to make a harmonious union.

The third reason is the effect that children, financial pressures, work pressures and the stresses of
modern-day society have on the relationship. We live in such a complex society that it is hard to
balance everything.

The fourth reason for so many failed marriages is that we are not trained to make a romantic
relationship work. We are taught math, science and history; however, we are not taught in school
or church the principles of being right with oneself, right with God and right in our human
relationships. The result is that people go into marriages completely ill-equipped to deal with all
the lessons that come down the pike.

The fifth reason is that people often get married out of emotional impulse and the honeymoon
syndrome without really knowing the person. They don’t spend enough time dating and even
possibly living together first to see how things work once the honeymoon is over.

The sixth reason is that people change. Not all people are meant to be together forever. As
people evolve, they switch from the personality ray to the soul ray and finally to the monadic
ray. Each shifting of rays brings a major transformation in the consciousness. Thus people may
evolve out of a relationship. This is the different-elevator phenomenon.

The speed at which evolution is moving now also impacts the above. People are going through
initiations in one year that in the past took many years or a whole lifetime. Humanity is going
through a period of what I can only call hypertime . The process of change and transformation is
so speeded up that this planet will go through more growth in the 40-year period from 1988 to
the year 2028 than in the past 3.1 billion years. Most people are ill-equipped to deal
psychologically with this time warp. It is like a cyclone, and those who are not centered are flung
to the outside of the cyclone rather than being in the center where all is still. This wreaks havoc
on relationships.

These are just some of the factors that cause divorce. I want to repeat here that divorce is not a
bad thing. Sometimes it is the best thing in a particular situation. Whether it is positive or
negative really depends on each relationship and the psychodynamics involved.

61. Ascended-Master Relationships

Understand how the romantic relationships of ascended masters differ from romantic
relationships on Earth. On one level they continue as they always have. Ascended-master
romantic relationships are totally focused on God and one’s mutual spiritual path.

There are also relationships that are totally focused on service. They are often what might be
called mission-mate relationships. People in this type of relationship are right with self and right
with God first, and they see their mutual relationship as third in priority to the first two. This
does not take away from the love between the two, but actually adds to it. It is important to
understand that romantic relationships evolve just as individuals evolve.

Ascended-master relationships are bonded out of the monadic ray, not out of the personality or
soul-level rays. Ascended-master relationships still have lessons to work out, and the partners
need to communicate as they always have. Their relationship garden still needs to be weeded as
it always has. What has been achieved, however, is a much higher level of maturity and oneness
with God.

62. Unfolding the Divine Plan

Allowing your partner to unfold his or her part of the divine plan as you unfold yours is
necessary, but you also need to unfold your mutual part of the divine plan together. It is essential
in life to develop self-mastery and self-control. One must learn, however, to let go of all need to
control and manipulate others.

63. The Savior Complex

I have seen this often in my past counseling practice where women are bonded in their
relationship to save the man. They are often in the relationship because they see the man’s
potential, but they are not willing to see reality as it exists. There is nothing wrong with wanting
to help another, but to bond in a marriage to try to save someone is setting yourself up for
trouble.

64. Asking/Demanding
Understand the difference between asking and demanding. Only a child or a dictator demands. A
spiritually mature person makes loving, preferential requests rather than giving orders.

65. Enjoying Your Partner’s Growth

Cultivate the feeling of joy and happiness in seeing your partner evolve and flower into his or her
full God-being. This requires a consciousness of separation and the letting go of all competition,
jealousy and envy.

66. Fake It Until You Make It

This means to hold to the highest spiritual ideals even when you have not yet arrived at fully
integrating those ideals. So even if you don’t feel loving, force yourself to be loving and
respectful. This is true honesty. Honesty is not indulging your negative ego, an imbalanced inner
child who has a hissy fit and takes it out on your partner. True honesty is holding to your
spiritual ideals even when the subconscious mind is not cooperating. Who is in control, the
conscious mind as a tool of the higher self, or the subconscious mind? Fake it until you make it,
and soon the spiritual pattern of relationships will become programmed into your subconscious
mind and into your relationship pattern with your spouse.

67. Abandonment
The feeling of abandonment develops out of improper bonding, where one has bonded with
another out of a lack of feeling whole. One seeks wholeness in another instead of finding
wholeness within one’s relationship to self and God. When we seek fulfillment through another
and that person leaves, we feel abandoned. The path that results can be overwhelming. But when
we have worked through it, it will be possible to see the truth of the improper bond from a
perspective of renewed strength and clarity. This knowledge can then be used to avoid improper
bonding in the future. If one is truly whole within oneself and God, one will never feel
abandoned.

68. Rejection
In truth there is no such thing. Feeling rejected is the negative ego’s interpretation of a breakup,
rather than the interpretation of the Holy Spirit and the Christ consciousness. The negative ego
always interprets everything in a win-lose manner. The Christ consciousness interprets
everything in a win-win manner. The Holy Spirit says there is no such thing as rejection; there
are simply relationships that are not meant to be.

If someone does not want to be with you, it is not that you are a bad person or that something is
wrong with you. The feelings of rejection are connected to an attachment and addiction to that
person caused by improper bonding. The truth is that the relationship is not meant to be and your
God-selves have other plans for each of you. If you can look at the situation in this way, you can
stay out of judgment and blame for yourself and the other person. Rejection will occur only if
there has been an unequal sense of power in the relationship. In life we often want things and
might more appropriately call this needing things . There might be a far better person for you just
around the corner if you can surrender to God’s wisdom in the matter.

69. Breaking Up
When relationships do break up, end them with total love, forgiveness and nonjudgment. If you
don’t, you will have to reincarnate with that person or another like that one in a future life. If you
forgive and end in unconditional love and your partner doesn’t, you are freed from the karma,
but your partner who is holding a grudge will have to reincarnate in a future life with someone
similar to you who did not learn the lesson. For you to be freed, you do not need your partner to
learn the lesson. You only have to learn your own lessons.

70. Attacks and Hurt Feelings

When dealing with feelings of being hurt, it is important to understand that in truth you cannot be
hurt, for you are God, and you cause your own reality and your own emotions. You are not a
victim. So be clear that your partner did not hurt you. You hurt yourself by allowing his/her
attack to penetrate your emotional field and body. As we become grounded in this understanding,
when our partner or others attack us, we will see it with more detachment and the attack will not
push our buttons. We will see that it’s their stuff, and we will not take it personally. We will have
a strong psychological immune system. We will recognize that an attack is a call for love.

We will respond instead of react. We will not catch their psychological disease. If we get hurt
and defensive, we have caught the disease. Djwhal Khul has referred to the need for divine
indifference. Other schools of spiritual thought have referred to this as detached objectivity, or
being the witness. In this state, when our partner is attacking us, we are able to observe the
situation as if it were a movie and are not engaged by or reactive to what is happening. This is
the consciousness of living in the eternal self.

When we do respond, it is then in a loving, even-minded way. The appropriate response might
be, “I see that you are angry, and I would be happy to discuss this situation with you. However, it
is my preference to do this in a loving manner.” Once your partner realizes that he/she is angry
or in attack mode, he is then likely to calm down. If he doesn’t, you should politely and lovingly
remove yourself physically from the conversation. Set the boundary that you will engage only in
a loving and respectful conversation. Since you are responding in a loving way and not
counterattacking, you will have learned your lesson, and you are setting an example for the
relationship. You are here to set a Christ-like example.

71. Grief
When a loved one dies, grief is normal and appropriate. It can also apply to the death of a
relationship. What is important to consider here is that the degree of one’s grief and the length of
one’s grieving process will be determined by the nature of the bonding pattern and the degree of
spiritual enlightenment. If one is in a codependent rather than a healthy interdependent
relationship, the grieving process will be far more intense.

If the one who has lost a partner does not believe in God or in an afterlife and reincarnation, then
the grieving process will be much more painful. In India, when people die they celebrate, for
everyone realizes the soul has been freed and that there is no such thing as death. You view
things from a much different vantage point when you realize that the person who has died is
alive and attending the funeral and that they have simply changed dimensions. This eases the
emotional sense of loss, for in reality there is none. All that one is really grieving for is the loss
of the physical vehicle. You will see the person again in dreams, meditation and when you make
your transition, if the love bond is truly there.

In appropriate grieving you honor the person you shared so much time with and you miss their
presence on the physical plane, even though you feel and know their presence spiritually,
mentally, etherically and emotionally. Some may be so filled with the spiritual reality of the
presence of the person that they may not grieve at all. Others will grieve for a short period. In a
sense, one is really grieving for oneself, not for the other person. The other person is probably
extremely happy to have gone through the tunnel and merged with the light, and that person will
be waiting for you to join him/her when your mission is over. Love is the strongest force in the
universe, and all loved ones will be seen again if that is your desire. We are all immortal and
eternal beings regardless of our level of evolution.

72. Disappointment
Deal with your feelings of disappointment. It must be understood that disappointment stems from
attachment and addiction. It gets back to the lesson of needing to have only strong preferences.
Happiness needs to be inside, not based on what another person does. There is nothing wrong
with having strong preferences, but the nature of a preference is that you are happy whatever the
outcome.

Disappointment is a sign of having expectations, which are the same as addictions and
attachments. Again, this is the ideal. If you can’t shake it by the process of attitudinal healing
within self, then share it with your partner in this secondary communication method. You can
share your preferences by saying something like, “It would have been my preference if you
would have called me to tell me that you were running late.” This way you do not lose your inner
peace or happiness, but your message is still communicated about the person’s inappropriate
behavior, and it is done in a loving way.

73. Deciding to Pursue a Relationship

How one knows if a relationship is really worthwhile to continue. First, you should never make
such a decision when you are emotionally triggered. When you have calmed down and are more
objective, you must consider if the person you are involved with meets enough of your
preferences. No person on planet Earth or in the infinite universe will meet all your preferences,
but they will have to meet enough of them to make the relationship worthwhile. If you are in
conflict about such a matter, I recommend that you make a list on a piece of paper. First, list all
the reasons why you want to remain in this relationship, then list why you want to get out. These
lists are like the defense attorney for the relationship and the prosecuting attorney against the
relationship. You are the judge sitting on the bench listening objectively to both arguments.

I have realized from my past relationships that each woman I was involved with offered me
certain unique things. Certain relationships earlier in my life were highly sexual, and that was
one component. Other factors were love, the ability to communicate, similar interests,
enjoyment, general compatibility, similar philosophies, emotional, mental and spiritual
compatibility, social development, channeling or healing abilities, clairvoyance, mission-mate
compatibility, professional compatibility and social compatibility. Each person was developed in
some of these areas and a little less compatible in others. No one will meet all of your
preferences, nor will we meet all preferences of our partner. There are always areas that need
more development. If this weren’t the case we would not be here on Earth.

It is very important to be aware of what you are getting and what you are not getting to see if the
relationship meets enough of your preferences to make it worthwhile. It might be worthwhile for
many years, then after ten or twenty years it might not. There are no hard and fast rules on this.
This is an exercise you can do just between you and God. It will give you a very realistic look at
your reality and the choices you are making.

74. Journal-Writing for Clarification

Journal-write about the rocky areas in your relationship before you talk about them. Be clear in
yourself and your relationship to God first, then communicate and share with your partner. I have
found this to be very helpful in the past. In one of my past relationships, when this wasn’t done,
we would humorously call our discussion “journal-writing on each other.”

75. Punctuality
Often one partner is very punctual and the other runs on a nonlinear time clock, to put it politely.
One should never make a commitment on any level that one does not plan to keep. If you don’t
like to keep commitments, don’t make them in the first place. But I would also say that punctual
people need to be a little more flexible and patient as long as the basic time commitment is kept.
Those who do not do well with time commitments must allow plenty of time to prepare for them.
It is important to remember that other people are involved, not just yourself. Once the pattern is
perceived this way, appropriate adjustments and communication need to be made so that this is
not a recurring conflict.

76. The Relationship Function

People who have been single for a long time or who grew up with parents who were quite
dysfunctional in their relationships often have not developed a relationship function. For
example, when making social plans, part of having a relationship function is to ask your partner
first. Having a relationship function includes calling when you are running late, communicating
that you are in a bad mood instead of taking it out on your partner and remembering birthdays
and other special occasions.

Often people get married but are still living like two single people. Developing a relationship
function has to do with recognizing that you are now living as a team in a group body as well as
living as an individual. This group body must be considered in all your major decisions.

77. Violence
In a nut shell, neither psychic nor physical violence is acceptable, period . It should never be
tolerated. It should be clearly stated in the beginning of the relationship that violence of any kind
is unacceptable, and that if it occurs, it is immediately grounds for terminating the relationship.
Forgiveness is important, but as Jesus said to the prostitute, “You are forgiven, but go and sin no
more” [John 8:11]. If a partner cannot learn this lesson, then out of self-respect you need to leave
or separate. Violence in any form is unacceptable because unconditional love and respect need to
be the guiding principles of every relationship.

78. Staying Present

Watch that you don’t go on automatic pilot. It is important to remain vigilant for God and God’s
kingdom. It is easy to let down and sometimes say things you don’t really mean out of mental
fatigue or just running off at the mouth. A true master remains vigilant at all times and never lets
down, even for an instant, his or her attunement to God in thought, word and deed. God and the
ascended masters hear and watch everything, and everything is written into the soul records.

79. Short Vacations

It is important to take a romantic vacation every once in a while, even if it is just for the
weekend. This will do wonders for a relationship. It is often hard to maintain the spark, romance
and passion in the daily grind of Earth life. Even, and especially, when you have children, short
vacations away need to be arranged.
80. Money Problems
Money problems are lessons, so work together to solve them. Pray together every day and do
affirmations and visualizations together. The burden is easier to carry if two carry it rather than
one. Each person may have different responsibilities in turning the lessons around, but the
feeling of teamwork will be of great help. Read Golden Keys to Ascension and Healing:
Revelations of Sai Baba and the Ascended Masters and the chapter on manifestation in Soul
Psychology.

81. Giving Up Too Quickly

I sometimes saw in my counseling practice that people were often quick to talk about breaking
up at the first sign of an argument or disagreement. This is childish and should be stopped if you
have this pattern. Make an agreement and a spiritual vow not to speak of breaking up unless you
really mean it, and it should be only after all other options have been attempted. It is amazing
how a simple agreement like this can sometimes make an enormous difference in the
relationship.

82. Self-Righteousness
Don’t fall into the pattern of self-righteousness. It is always important to speak in “I” messages,
such as “I feel” or “I think” and not to speak for another. It is also essential to state everything as
your personal opinion or perception instead of self-righteously stating that this is the way it is.

Every person is entitled to his/her personal opinion about things even if it is an ignorant or
unconscious one. To be self-righteous is to not allow people to have their own beliefs and
opinions. Often the things we are self-righteous about tend to be wrong in the future, and then we
eat crow. As the biblical proverb says, “Pride goeth before … a fall” [Prov. 16:18]. It is always
better to state everything as your personal opinion, perception, observation or preference.

83. Equal Power

There is a need to maintain an equality of power in the relationship. The fact that someone makes
more money than a partner does not give him or her the right to wield more power. Personal
power is an inherent spiritual and psychological quality, and it has nothing to do with anything
outside of oneself.

84. Separate Social Activities

It is important to have a social life beyond your relationship with your partner. So that you do not
become too enmeshed with each other, it is important to have a social life both with each other
and separate from each other.

85. The Family as a System

Understand the concept of the family system, which says that any changes in one aspect of the
family system affects the entire family. For example, let’s say you have two children. When the
romantic relationship with your partner becomes more self-actualized, this has a very positive
effect on the children, even on an energetic and psychodynamic level. Every positive change you
make in your relationship to yourself and God has a positive effect on the entire family system.
The family is a group body also. What affects one, affects the entire family unit. This is an
important concept to acknowledge and realize. Often the problems that children have are
resolved as the marriage is put back into proper order.

86. Mind-Reading
Do not expect your partner to be a mind-reader. If you do not communicate what is going on
with you and what you want, it is not fair to expect your partner to be able to fulfill your wants
and needs. This is one of the most common problems I have seen in the relationship counseling
work I have done.

87. Confrontation
There is egotistical confrontation, which is not positive, and there is spiritual confrontation,
which is positive. Egotistical confrontation deals with ego battles and arguments. Spiritual
confrontation is when you do not hold things in but openly, honestly and lovingly address issues
that need to be dealt with, even if at first this triggers some sensitive and emotionally charged
situations.

It is human nature for most people to be afraid to confront some of the deeper issues that need to
be confronted. The solution is to listen to your God nature rather than your human nature.
Having a spiritual, if slightly confrontational, open and loving conversation is much better than
carrying a silent resentment and talking and gossiping behind your partner’s back. There are sins
of commission and omission on the spiritual path. To not communicate on these sensitive issues
when communication is needed is a sin of omission.

88. Partner as Cheerleader

Be a cheerleader for each other in the process of evolution and self-actualization. The spiritual
path is hard enough on Earth, so to have one’s partner cheering you on is a wonderful gift. In the
ideal marriage your partner is really your best friend as well as your lover.

89. Open Marriage

I asked the ascended masters about this and they were very firmly against it. An open marriage
allows you to be married and also sleep with other partners. I was told that it creates jealousy,
competition and separation, and that it is a product of the negative-ego distortion of reality.

90. A Balanced Life

It is important to balance your career, family roles and spiritual life. This is not the easiest thing
to achieve. No matter how imbalanced you or your marriage becomes, the mistakes you make
can always be corrected. Adjustments can be made if you are both willing to communicate.
There will be phases in life where one aspect might be somewhat more emphasized than another.
This is okay so long as balance is maintained in the larger context. The more that family, career
and spiritual life can be integrated and blended, the better.

91. Taking Time for Yourself

To have a healthy relationship, you need to take time for yourself, which might consist of
journal-writing, meditating or doing nothing. This is essential in developing and maintaining a
right relationship with yourself. Enough time must also be designated for one’s relationship and
one’s family, as stated in Key 90. The key to effective living is balance. Balancing the care of
one’s physical body, one’s mental and emotional well-being, one’s spiritual life, relationship,
family, career, social life and service work is no small task. All must be prioritized and kept in
proper balance. This is the life of a self-realized being.

92. Affection
Affection is different from sexual contact. Cultivate being affectionate with your partner. This
means hugging, kissing, touching, love pats and just holding. This is totally separate from sexual
activity.

Affection when connected with sexuality is a part of the foreplay and afterplay aspect of the
sexual process and is very important for both women and men. However, there is a great need for
the mutual expression of affection and touching quite apart from sexual contact. This can be very
tender and nurturing and is an important part of making one’s partner feel loved and special.

Sometimes in marriages we lose things that were important to us in the beginning. If the daily
expression of affection is one of those things, now is a good time to begin expressing more
affection and nonsexual touching to your partner.

93. Optimism and Positivity

Focus on what is good in your relationship and not what is bad. Are you looking at the donut or
the hole? Is the glass of water half empty or half full? It all depends on your perception. Focus on
the victories and express gratitude for what you have. Negative elements can always be found if
you look for them, and one little negative thought can destroy a perfectly beautiful moment, a
day or even a life. So it is of the highest importance in making a marriage work that positivity
and optimism be cultivated continually and unceasingly!

94. Progress Checks

Make regular progress checks of your relationship growth with your partner. You don’t want to
do this too much, however, or it would be like planting a seed and continually digging it up to
see if it is growing. On the other hand, lack of introspection and examination can allow weeds to
grow that could become vines which might strangle the relationship.

95. Advice
Be careful how much advice you give your partner. In some marriages this can be more of a
sensitive point than in others. Certainly, give advice only if it is appropriate and if your partner is
open to receiving it. You are not your partner’s therapist or formal teacher; you are an equal
partner.

96. Logic and Emotion

Both people in a relationship need to learn to balance and integrate logic and emotion. This
might also be stated as balancing the head and the heart. Usually one partner leans more in one
direction than the other. There must be an appreciation for the other person’s perspective. When
people see primarily through different aspects of their being, this can create a rocky relationship
if this is not understood and respected. In the ideal state, both individuals work to integrate
themselves.

97. Holding a Grudge

Never punish each other. This is childish behavior, like holding a grudge. The lesson is to
communicate what is bothering you, or let go of it inwardly. The key is never to get stuck in the
twilight zone or sit on the fence. Either communicate or attitudinally heal it, but don’t stay in the
middle and hold a grudge.

98. Calling Time-Out

Call time-out if the conversation you are having becomes too uncomfortable and unproductive.
This can be very useful in providing time for both of you to become calmer and more centered.
Maybe a twenty-minute break can be taken to allow for personal processing.

99. Cleanliness and Order

Often one partner is neater than the other in terms of the home environment. The careless one
clearly needs to be more responsible, and the neater person needs to relax and give a little so that
the issue does not gnaw at their inner peace. It must also be understood that there is such a thing
as inner cleanliness within one’s mind, emotions, and spirit.

Ideally, all levels are kept clean and in order. Communication is needed in this area as to what is
expected by both parties and what chores need to be done. Lists should be made so there are no
misunderstandings. Once lists and agreements are made, each person needs to stick to his/her
commitment as an aspect of integrity. On the whole, if people know what is expected and it is
made simple and clear, a habit can be formed that facilitates getting things done.

100. Sharing Dreams

A lovely practice to cultivate is sharing dreams every morning. Dreams obviously reflect our
inner realities, and this can be a very fruitful way of connecting, creating intimacy and learning
to blend inner and outer realities together.

101. Relationship Appointments

Make relationship appointments when unresolved issues come up. Knowing that relationship
appointments will be made when things aren’t going well helps keep both partners on their toes.
The tendency of human nature is to go into automatic pilot and go unconscious. Carl Jung said
man’s greatest sin is his indolence or laziness. Making a relationship work is both an art and a
science. It doesn’t just happen; it must be constantly worked on.

This is the same when you develop a right relationship to yourself. It doesn’t just happen; it is
something you develop over time and constantly monitor. Continual adjustments must be made
to maintain equilibrium and balance. There is a center point or tao that one ideally strives to
maintain — a state of balance, inner peace, joy, unconditional love and oneness. When
imbalance sets in on any level, be it within oneself, one’s relationship to God, or one’s family or
career, adjustments must be made to bring things back into the tao — back into harmony and
balance.

102. The Blame Game

Let go of the blame game. The concept of blame is of the negative ego. It is based in judgment
rather than love. Blame is used to make people wrong and make them feel bad. It should be
released completely from your relationship and your reality. It is a wonderful thing to be in a
relationship and know you will be loved and supported no matter how much you screw up and
that you will give this same consideration to your partner.

103. Inner and Outer Union

Those looking for your soulmate or twin flame must first understand that your ultimate soulmate
is your own higher self and I Am Presence or monad. This is the true union and marriage you are
seeking. You will never truly realize the outer union until union with your higher self and spirit
are achieved.

Once these inner marriages are complete and whole, it is possible to attract and magnetize the
ideal spiritual mate. Do not get caught up in trying to find the other half of your soul or soul
extension from your oversoul or monad. If this happens, it happens, but it is nothing to look for.
As I have said earlier, even if you meet such a person, you might not be harmonious on either a
psychological or a personality level.

What is most important is not these esoteric factors, but finding the right person for you at this
time. This could be someone you have been involved with or married to in past lives, but perhaps
not. These are all interesting esoteric points. It is most important that you find the person who
really fits your present life. That person then becomes a soulmate if you can communicate and
connect with him or her on a soul level; or a monadic mate if you can communicate on that level;
or a mission mate when you blend and harmonize your service work together. In other words,
you create all this by how you build your relationship in the present moment.

104. Factors in Relationship

Understand how and why people connect in relationships and the importance of keeping
priorities clear. The first thing people usually look at is physical attractiveness. Physical
appearance is one factor in a relationship but by no means the most important one. If the person
is physically attractive but has little else to recommend him/her, then looks obviously do not
mean much.

I believe that the most important factor in relationship bonding is the spiritual, and that many
people reading this book will share my view. If your spiritual path is the most important thing in
your life and you and your partner are not spiritually compatible, you will not have the support
you seek for the most important aspect of your life. It is not necessary that your partner have the
same beliefs or the same forms of spiritual expression, but it is important that the spiritual path
should be a top priority in your partner’s life.

If the person isn’t working to grow spiritually, then the negative ego is likely to be operating to
quite an extent. In most cases, the person will not have evolved to the place of coming from
unconditional love and the entire bonding pattern will be off kilter. If you are just starting a
relationship, take a look at this aspect first. If God and your spiritual path are what are most
important in your life, why would you get involved with someone who doesn’t share this? I
would rather be alone and single. This is setting yourself up for a karmic relationship.

The second thing to look at in your bonding pattern is the mental level. Do you share similar
goals, beliefs, ideals, and philosophies? Do both of you desire marriage? Do both of you agree
on whether or not you want children? Mental simpatico, I believe, is the second biggest factor.

The third biggest factor is love. Is there a strong love between you, a real heart connection? Are
you emotionally compatible? Do you feel warmth and an emotional comfort when you are with
the person? Love and emotional compatibility are key bonding factors in any successful
relationship.

The fourth aspect to look at is the energetic or etheric aspect. Is there chemistry? Is there
electricity? When you come together, is there an increase in energy and vital force? Do your
batteries get charged up when you spend time together, or do they get depleted?

The fifth factor is the physical level. One aspect of this is physical looks. Is there an attraction?
However, it is important to understand that one’s perception can change. In looking back at my
life, I don’t believe that any of the women with whom I developed long-term relationships were
ones to whom I initially felt a high degree of physical attraction. What happened in each case
was that when I spent time with the woman, things changed. Once I had the opportunity to feel
her energy and spirit and share in a mutual exchange of feelings and thoughts, I became
extremely physically attracted.

This is a very important concept to understand. We don’t just see with our eyes, we also see with
our minds and all our chakras. In my case, these became very passionate and highly sexual
relationships, as well as deeply spiritual. At that point, I couldn’t understand how I could not
have been attracted to this person in the beginning. So the physical level cannot be separated
from the other aspects of a relationship, for our perceptions of a person’s beauty shift as we get
to know that person on a deeper level.

The sixth aspect to consider is the material one. This relates to the amount of money the person
has and the type of job or if he or she has a job. It also relates to how functional a person is in the
day-to-day practical skills of living on Earth. The material level is the least important level to
me, for I would rather have true love than money any time. But the material level should not be
discounted as totally un important. Love alone is not always enough to make a relationship work.
Love is wonderful and essential, but you also need money to buy food. There are practical
aspects to life that must be considered, or life can become extremely stressful and unpleasant.

One’s bonding with another can be looked at through these different lenses and bonding patterns.
People will differ as to the degree of importance they place on the various aspects, and this is
fine.

105. Delightful Surprises

Do nice, unexpected things, such as bringing flowers or buying a gift for no reason. Take your
spouse on a special unexpected date. Cook dinner when it is unexpected. Create a romantic
dinner with candles and all the rest as a surprise. Doing these special things from the heart goes a
long way toward nurturing a relationship.

106. Attractiveness
Look nice for your partner. This may have to do with having good habits of personal hygiene,
being clean, putting on nice clothes occasionally. At times it might mean wearing more sexy
clothes, especially when planning a sexual liaison. We sometimes fall into bad habits in this
regard, and this is something for us all to be conscious of.

107. Planning Romantic Time

This is the issue of whether sexual involvement should be planned in advance. I personally don’t
see anything wrong with this. With the busy lives we all live, sometimes we almost have to
create time. This is not to say that when the moment arrives, if either party is not in the mood,
there is any obligation. What is important to understand, though, is that one can help oneself to
be in the mood by proper preparation. For example, maybe taking a hot bath and getting all
dressed up, putting on music and lighting candles might help enhance one’s mood. Perhaps a
back rub and massage, incense or aromatherapy will create the mood. I personally think that
planning romantic time is very nice. It is also nice, however, to be spontaneous.

108. Noting Your Biorhythms

Be aware of each partner’s biorhythms. This deals with such things as one’s sleep habits and
whether one is a morning or a night person. This applies to timing your communication and
sexual encounters. Some people like to get sexually involved before bed, others in the morning,
and still others in the middle of the night. Communicate about this and see if your biorhythms are
on the same wavelength as your partner’s.

Some adjustments must be made if the partner’s biorhythms are different. For example, I like to
get up in the morning, jump in the shower and start working. I don’t like lying around in bed. So
although I am a morning person in regard to work, I am more of a night person in terms of
leisure time. Flexibility is the key here.
109. Affectionate Greetings
The simple habit of regularly kissing your partner hello and good-bye might sound like a little
thing, but it is the little things that often build positive relationships and facilitate the continual
flow of love energy. You will want to explore and develop other habits and structures that help
keep the flow of love, passion and connection going as well.

110. Resolving Disconnection

When you feel disconnected from your partner, there are two approaches. First, see if it can be
resolved within yourself by examining what thoughts and/or judgments might be causing it. The
other approach is to share this with your partner, saying something like, “I am feeling a little
disconnected from you, and I don’t like the feeling. I am sharing this in the hope that we can
become closer. How are you feeling? Do you have any sense of what caused us to get a little
disconnected?”

In my experience, sharing this and having a loving discussion about it usually dissipates it rather
quickly. This feeling of disconnection happens in every relationship at times. It is hard enough to
stay totally connected to oneself and God all the time, let alone another human being.

111. Go the Extra Mile

Be willing to go the extra mile for your partner. This example set by either partner, and ideally
both partners, will do wonders for the relationship. An example of this might be your spouse
wanting a little treat or ice cream or healthy cookie at night while watching television and your
being willing to go to the market to get that for him/her, even though you are comfortable and it
is cold outside. Your loving example will inspire the best in your partner.

112. Courtesies
Be courteous to your partner. Just because you have been together for a long time doesn’t mean
the common courtesies of life should be cast aside. Being courteous and considerate can go a
long way in creating love and positive energy. Like warm touching and other displays of
affection, little courtesies and special considerate acts go a long way toward creating a bond of
closeness and harmony in a relationship.

113. Issues Will Arise

Self-actualized, ascended marriages are not free of conflict. Mature marriages are characterized
by expert communication and a striving for wholeness, but there are always decisions to make
and issues to resolve.

114. Your Current Reasons for Relationship

Examine why you are really staying in your relationship. It is important to be honest. Is it out of
true love? Is it out of practicality? Is it for the children? Is it because you are afraid to be on your
own? Is it for financial reasons? Is it out of insecurity? Is it for spiritual reasons? Is it for sexual
reasons? Is it because you don’t feel you will ever meet anyone else? Is it because you are afraid
you will be lonely? Is it because you don’t want to get back into the dating scene? Is it because
you are comfortable? There is no judgment in any of this. Even if some of these are your reasons,
it doesn’t mean you have to leave your marriage.

115. Imperfection
There are no perfect people in the world, including you. We are all perfect on an essence level,
but not on a realization level. Finding an ideal mate is not the easiest thing in the world to do.
Your partner does not have to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary in order for
you to have a very fulfilling life, even with all of his or her faults and yours.

116. Leaving
Let go of the thought and feeling that the grass is greener on the other side. This is not always the
case. Leaving a relationship is a very big decision and should not be made lightly or impulsively.
Make sure all other means of resolution have been exhausted. When they have been, have the
courage to leave and trust in God.

117. Outside Interests

Don’t make your partner the whole focus of your life. There is a book titled, Women Who Love
Too Much. Focusing so completely on your partner is not so much loving too much as being too
attached and codependent. It happens when you make your partner the whole focus of your life.
Your relationship to your partner becomes idol worship. Anything you put before God is an idol.
When you neglect your relationship to yourself and God, things become very unbalanced
because your mature relationship to yourself and God is the foundation on which all healthy
relationships are built.

118. Using Anger to Control

Don’t use anger as a manipulative tool to control your partner. This happens when a person gets
angry and loses control, then lashes out to assert control over another. If your partner starts
getting angry in this way, stop the conversation and tell him or her that if she is not willing to
speak in a loving and respectful manner, you are not willing to communicate with her. Also
affirm to yourself that you will not be intimidated by such tactics. Of course, if the situation
appears to be getting out of hand, remove yourself from it. If this is characteristic of your
relationship, seek outside counseling for this serious problem.

119. Express Love Verbally

Be willing to express your feelings of love at all times. Say the words, “I love you,” as often as
you feel inspired to do so. Many problems in a relationship stem from one partner not feeling
loved. Expressions of love and affection nurture and strengthen a relationship and build positive
feelings and harmony.

120. Your Other Aspects in Sexual Activity

This golden key again has to do with sexuality. Too often I see couples too much in their feeling
body around sexuality. In others words, the emotional body guides whether sexual involvement
can take place. The emotional body is certainly the most important body involved with this
process, but it is not the only factor to be considered. Let’s say that you have not had sex for a
while and your husband has not been getting his needs met. His needs should be taken into
consideration as well as yours.

In any given moment where the potential for sexual involvement is present, you may be able to
go either way. You need to understand that it should not be just your own feelings that determine
this. Your will can be exercised to help yourself get in the mood. Once the decision is made to
have sexual involvement, put your will behind it and make it mutually satisfying. If you choose
to have sex, make it great sex or don’t have it at all.

Too many couples I see are indecisive and don’t stand behind their decision to have sex with
their physical, etheric, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. Be decisive and make it work.
Sometimes you might choose to have sex out of consideration for your spouse, and there is
absolutely nothing wrong with this. Other times you might choose to be spiritually selfish, and
there is nothing wrong with that, either. And still other times you might do just what you feel like
doing. If you wait to be in the mood to have sex, you can end up waiting for months for the right
moment.

121. Letting Down Your Work/Social Persona

Every person needs to let down a little after a long day at work or after obligatory socializing.
But it is important not to let down with your spouse to the point of allowing your lower self and
negative ego to run you. For example, one person might be wonderful at work and a social
butterfly at the party you just went to, but the minute he or she gets home she gets into a bad
mood. This is unacceptable behavior and is nothing more than laziness and self-indulgence.

Couples often have problems because they allow themselves to let down too much. As long as
they are forced by outside structures to be centered, they are. When they get home and no one is
forcing them to be kind and pleasant, they aren’t. This is nothing more than psychological and
spiritual laziness. Ideally you should treat your spouse like you would a guest visiting from out
of town. We lose the excitement and passion in our relationships if we become lazy in terms of
our relationship habits. I admit this takes energy, but who said God-realization was easy? The
fact is that this kind of demonstration will become a positive habit after practicing it for twenty-
one days, and it won’t take much energy after that.

122. Outside Relationships

Every couple has relationships with extended family and friends. There can be friction in these
relationships with parents and in-laws, and one simple remedy is to not insist that your spouse
join you for family visits. In some family systems it is better if they don’t.

It is important that couples present a unified front to children, to the extended family and to the
outside world. It is also important that confidentiality be honored. A partner should never reveal
to others the sacred sharings of his or her partner. We are speaking here of developing self--
control and honoring your group body of two.

123. Morning Mood-Setting

Try to set a loving mood as early in the day as possible. It must be understood that love is not
simply a feeling. It is, first of all, divine energy from God. Its expression relates both to attitude
and an aspect of will. I have learned to have effective romantic relationships because I make
them work. I will settle for nothing less. I will keep working until we are there. Once we are, I do
not allow that feeling to leave. If it does, I will make all the corrections, communications and
attitudinal adjustments that are needed to get us back in that loving place. Weeds don’t grow,
because I don’t allow them to and because I take the attitude of being vigilant. When they do
start to grow, I pick them out as soon as possible.

124. Increasing Your Desire

Improve your sexual desire for your mate. When it needs to be fired up, visualize a time when
you were head over heels in love with him or her and/or having your best sex. This will prime
the engine, so to speak. It does work! Use your will and mind power and don’t run on autopilot
or be run only by your feelings of the moment.

125. Discretion
Communicate as much as possible with your spouse and be discreet about whom you discuss
your relationship with. Every person has a friend or friends who are confidants, and that is fine.
The key is not to share with others what is most appropriately shared only with your partner.

126. Affairs
Having an affair is morally and spiritually wrong because it is breaking a commitment and you
are being dishonest. Someone will get hurt if the truth is known. Even if your partner never
knows, it hurts the bonding and trust of the partnership. The lesson here is not to be in the
twilight zone. Either make the relationship work or get out of it. To have an affair is to stay
dishonestly in the middle. A triangle is being formed and bad karma is being created.

127. Mixed Marriages

Interfaith or interracial marriages, from the perspective of the ascended masters, are wonderful.
The more blending and integration that occurs between the people on Earth, the more the thought
forms of separation are healed. One problem is the foundation of all other problems: feeling you
are separated from God. This leads to feelings of unworthiness and being an object of judgment
by others, for these are two sides of the same coin.

There are many paths back to God, so do not let the different forms of religion create any lack of
love or separation. The most important thing is that your partner believes in God. Everyone is the
eternal Self regardless of skin color, so to make a fuss over it perpetuates egotism and thought
forms of separation.
128. Weekly Sharing
Allow room for yourself and your mate to talk things out and have a catharsis or “be his/her
journal-writing pad.” There are so many lessons in life we have to deal with on so many levels
that we are constantly processing reality to retain our proper perspective and inner peace. I
remember many years ago in one of my first long-term relationships, we used to go out every
Friday evening and have a glass of wine or a bottle of mineral water and process reality for that
week. It was a kind of journal-writing, but we would do it together out loud, which created a nice
feeling of intimacy. It became a weekly ritual for many years.

129. Honoring Feelings

Honor your spouse’s feelings no matter what they might be. The important thing is first to listen
and honor the feelings. Later there might be a loving, respectful discussion about what attitudes
and beliefs might be causing those feelings. It is important to honor feelings but also to be
responsible for the beliefs that are causing them. Both are important.

130. Keeping Silent or Speaking

Holding back communication because you don’t want to hurt your mate is a noble thought and at
times it might be appropriate. At other times, however, it might hurt them more not to share.
Often when too much is held back, disconnection and resentment build. When communication is
given in a loving, respectful, nonattached manner, you are not hurting anyone. Often it is the
egosensitivity of your partner that is causing him/her to feel hurt.

When communicating about sensitive issues, it is of the utmost importance to qualify your
communication with extra love and kindness. This is appropriate. Say some nice things first to
soften the feedback and give only constructive criticism where it is appropriate and really
necessary and when your partner really wants it. If it is just going to create a fight, why give it?
Often people give feedback more for themselves than for the true and selfless benefit of their
partner. Examine your motivations.

131. Thanks and Appreciation

Remember to thank your partner for the kind things he/she does. This might also be stated as
showing appreciation for those acts of kindness and love. If you give positive reinforcement for
such acts, they are more likely to occur again. This is another part of not taking each other for
granted.

132. Pray for Success

Pray every day for God’s help in making your marriage work. The law of life is that God is not
allowed to help unless you ask, but if you do make such a simple request, you will be amazed at
the results.

133. Visualization for Rough Periods

When you are going through a rough period in your marriage, every night before bed visualize in
your mind’s eye the two of you getting along and being very close. Do this for two or three
minutes each night before drifting off to sleep. You will be amazed at the transformation your
subconscious mind will enact for you.

134. After a Fight

After a fight, call in the ascended masters, the healing angels and the Holy Spirit. Ask them to
undo energetically all the negative energy in yourself and your partner. These spiritual forces
will transmute and clear away all the negative energy and replace it with core love.

135. Special Days

Remember birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Try to do special things for your
partner all year long, but especially make a big fuss on these days. This will go a long way to
build good feelings that will help you during times of stormy weather.

136. Consistent Thoughtfulness

Follow all acts of kindness by your partner with a reciprocal act of kindness within a week or so.
Keep your acts of kindness and love coming even if your partner isn’t focused on this. In other
words, you don’t want to need your partner to do something for you; you want to be self-
motivated. However, if your partner is responding, be sure to respond in kind shortly afterward.
This is the opposite of weeding your relationship garden — you are planting flowers there.

137. One Rose

Bring home a single rose. A rose, as we all know, is the flower of love. One little rose, different
in color throughout the year, will make your partner putty in your hands!

138. Back and Foot Rubs

Another way to make your partner putty in your hands is to volunteer a back or foot rub. If you
always want to give to him or her, very soon he/she will want to give to you.

139. Touching
The simple action of touching is powerful. For instance, if you are watching television, you can
gently put your hand on your partner’s leg or shoulder or hand. The simple act of being
physically in contact has great emotional and symbolic significance and comfort. These simple
little things help to make a relationship work. They combine to build a bond of love, enjoyment
and unity.

140. Regular Arcturian Clearing

Call the Lord of Arcturus and the Arcturians to anchor for you and your spouse the liquid-crystal
technology and the golden cylinder to remove all alien implants, negative elementals and
imbalanced energies. I would recommend doing this once every two weeks. If necessary, do it
once a week. With their advanced technology, the Arcturians will remove these dense energies
from your field. This is what might be called preventive medicine for your relationship.

Living in this earthly world, with all the challenges and lessons we must face, we all pick up
debris in our energy fields. It is very important to do this clearing work on a regular basis, for
chaotic energies in our field can bleed over and create contamination in the marriage and with
oneself. If you have pets, do this for them as well. If you are clear and your partner isn’t, you can
get recontaminated, so ask for this for both of you. If possible, ask your partner’s permission. If
permission is not given, do it privately, asking for permission from their higher self and
surrendering the prayer request to God. You will be doing a great service for your partner.

141. A Burning-Pot Clearing

Occasionally do a burning pot in your bedroom, living room and whole house. This is done by
putting a quarter cup of Epsom salts in a pan with one-third cup of rubbing alcohol. Place a mat
of some kind on the floor to protect it, then light the mixture. This will burn up all negative
energy in the atmosphere in the house. The cleaner you keep your individual fields and the
metaphysical atmosphere of your house, the better you will get along. Especially do this if you
have just had a fight. Invite your partner to join you in this process, for it is a symbolic act as
well.

142. Demonstrating Your Marriage’s High Priority

Demonstrate to your spouse that he/she is at the top of your priority page. As time goes on, the
marriage often falls lower and lower on the list of priorities. Don’t let this happen. It really is
nothing more than keeping this intent and demonstrating it. These simple acts in your
relationship take little time or energy, but they can make all the difference in the world.

143. Random Acts

Keep surprising your spouse with random acts of kindness, love and small gifts. If you make up
your mind you are going to cultivate and maintain love, it will happen. If it doesn’t, you are with
the wrong partner. Listen closely to the things your spouse says to you. For example, you might
be walking in the mall and he/she might innocently comment about wanting something, not
really thinking he would ever get it. Make a note to yourself, and at some appropriate occasion
get it for him. Doing such things shows that you care, that you are listening to him, that what he
wants is important to you. If you try, this will inspire your spouse to try. This demonstrates that
with all the lessons and stresses of life, you are not forgetting him/her.

144. Compliments
Tell your spouse how nice he/she looks when she gets dressed up — and, for that matter,
anytime you feel inspired. Make a habit of complimenting her. Everyone likes a compliment.
Make it your job to help him/her build self-esteem and feelings of self-love. Don’t be afraid to
spoil your partner a little.
145. Asking for What You Want
Be sure to ask your partner for what you want. In other words, you are doing all these nice things
for them, and there may be things you would like them to do for you. One of the most important
principles of an effective relationship is to ask. You can ask to be touched more. You can ask for
more expressions of appreciation. State your request as a loving preference. Ask and you shall
receive. When you are being so nice to your spouse, he/she will likely respond in kind.

Most couples receive what they are given instead of seeing that by asking, they can stimulate the
giving process. You are not attached, so if they don’t do what you ask, you are still happy. If it is
given, it will be given to you freely out of their own free choice. Your lack of manipulation in
terms of the way you state it, and your lack of neediness, breed love. People do not like to give to
people who are clinging vines. They do like to give to people who are strong and loving and
clear.

Your positive demonstration and your clear, preferential requests for what you want will create
and build a flow of love energy that fills you fully. Your giving will fill you full of love, and the
reciprocation from your partner, both spontaneously and by your asking, will fill you full of love.
Do you see how in life everything is a matter of just making adjustments? Keep making
adjustments in your relationship by demonstrating love and asking for what you want until your
romantic relationship comes perfectly back into the tao.

146. The Top of Your Priority List

Tell your spouse that he/she is at the top of your priority page right next to being right with
yourself and right with God and that you will be demonstrating this by your actions from now
on. Ask her to join you in this commitment.

147. Repeating Your Marriage Vows

Consider repeating your marriage vows. This can be a private ceremony you do yourself or a
spiritual marriage or ceremony with a minister or rabbi. This ceremony will be the rebirth or
renewal of your marriage vows in the light of the Christ consciousness. It will be a commitment
to demonstrate a soul/monadic-level or ascended-master romantic relationship.

148. Using This Book Together

This golden key may be one of the most important of all. Ask your partner to read this book as a
personal favor to you. Go through these golden keys and make a checklist of the ones you want
to practice. Then hang it on your bulletin board and go over it every morning for a minute or
two. Maybe you can even read the book together and discuss the keys as you read.

149. Balancing Power with Sensitivity

Demonstrate a balance between personal power and sensitivity and keep your ideal a
masculine/feminine balance. This applies to both men and women. A woman likes a man who is
strong, but one who can also be very loving and sensitive. This combination is the greatest sexual
aphrodisiac. I know this from personal experience. A woman who is loving and sensitive but not
in touch with her power tends to be childlike. This can be a turn-on and attractive for a little
while, but it eventually gets old. A man who is strong but not sensitive cannot connect on an
intimate level. A man who is sensitive but has no power is also a turn-off.

150. Openness with Power/Sensitivity

One of the golden keys I learned early on in my romantic involvements was to be powerful in my
romantic and sexual advances. I would always be sensitive, but when I wanted to kiss a woman I
would not be shy about it. If I wanted to make love with a woman, I would tell her and not mince
words. Women like this. Speaking from a man’s perspective, men like this openness and
expression of personal power (with sensitivity) as well.

151. Experimentation
This applies to the dating process as well as marriage. Dating is clearly an experiment of sorts.
You go out with someone you don’t know very well. You are checking things out. Don’t be
afraid to experiment. In other words, touch the other person on the hand or leg while conversing
and see how that makes you feel and how it makes them feel. As you get to know him/her better,
you might experiment and kiss them, just to see how it feels. Be powerful about it. Look at it as
an experiment. Ask him/her to dance and see how that feels. People are often too shy and
sensitive to do this. If you wait until you feel like it or when it feels totally comfortable, it might
never happen. Sometimes such an experiment might not work, but that is good information.

This concept of experimentation also applies sexually, when you get to that point. In a
committed relationship and marriage, be willing to experiment sexually and try different things.
It is too easy to get into the same sexual pattern every time. Ask your partner if he/she is willing
to experiment. Get some of the sex manuals or books on tantric sexuality and try some of the
different positions and tantric meditations. When you are through, talk about it with your partner.
What did you like and what didn’t you like? Make mental notes about what worked and what
didn’t. Over time you will build up a rich arsenal of lovemaking knowledge. Your partner wants
to be sexually fulfilled as much as you do. If you think of this process as experimenting, there is
no judgment when something doesn’t work. The most important thing is that you communicate
with each other to monitor what is working and what is not for both partners.

152. Independence vs. Neediness

Don’t fall into neediness, dependency and a clinging-vine mentality. Both should make it clear
that they are fully capable of being on their own if they have to, though this is not their
preference. Knowing that your partner can make it on his/her own without you and you without
him makes both partners be on their toes and not take the other for granted. It also prevents the
resentment that comes from overdependence.

153. Compromise
Sometimes in relationships you have to do things you don’t want to do, but you can accept them
and have a positive attitude about it. You might have to go over to the in-laws for Christmas
dinner and perhaps you don’t feel like it. Forget about your feelings — feelings are not your god.
The Yiddish word, mensch, is good here. A mensch is a good person or solid citizen who always
does what is right. Sometimes what is right to do is something you don’t feel like doing. Your
spouse might want to go on vacation and you really don’t want to. At some point you will
probably feel it is best to just bite the bullet and go.

Once you make the choice to meet a specific need of your partner, keep a positive attitude and
have a good time. Do not let feelings be your god. Feelings are often created by the negative ego
with its selfish perspective. Being in a relationship involves compromise. You can’t always do
exactly what you want. If you are not willing to compromise, and if you are not willing to do
what your partner wants to do at least part of the time, you have no business being in a
relationship. Maybe a single life is best for you.

154. Sharing Personal Feelings and Secrets

In our society men are often taught to be silent, to be macho and never cry. Women are trained to
be the exact opposite. They love to share feelings and their innermost secrets. Men clearly need
to open up more. Women, on the other hand, often need more masculine energy in terms of
learning to be more impersonal and having a greater mastery of their emotions and desire bodies.

In terms of relationships, there needs to be an open flow of sharing one’s inner reality. What is
the purpose of a relationship if you are not willing to do this? This is the main reason for having
a full-time romantic partner. He/she is someone with whom you can share your deepest feelings
and thoughts and feel safe in doing so. This builds intimacy and closeness. Men need to let down
their barriers and do this more. Women are good teachers here.

155. Standards of Beauty

Both men and women should let go of societal norms about beauty. Physical beauty is not what
Playboy magazine and our media make it out to be. For a while Twiggy was the rage — I
thought she looked emaciated. In the 1600s the Rubenesque woman was the rage. The thin
models of our time would have been considered completely unattractive. So beauty is in the eye
of the beholder. I was programmed like everyone else. I soon learned, however, to appreciate the
Rubenesque woman. It is very important for both men and women — for themselves and their
relationship — to let go of society’s standards of glamour and beauty.

156. Consideration
There is a great need to be thoughtful and considerate. So much in a relationship has to do with
transcending selfishness. If you are going to run an errand, ask your spouse if there is anything
he/she needs. The little things you can do for each other are endless, so be creative and inventive.

Act like a gentleman and a gentlewoman. When one is first dating, we all act like perfect
gentlepeople. After marriage, we let go of many of these noble qualities. The list is endless here
too, such as opening the car door for your wife, helping her on with her coat and lifting heavier
objects. Some may call this sexist; I call it being considerate. In the reverse, there are things
women can do in a more feminine frame of reference. It may have to do with cooking and
serving meals or creating a lovely home, bringing her husband his slippers, unfolding or making
the bed. Some of these may seem like silly examples, but it is a principle I am talking about here,
one I think is important.

157. Dividing Chores

Everyone has certain chores they hate and certain chores they don’t mind. Be creative. For
example, I don’t mind doing the dishes, vacuuming or taking out the trash, but I hate dusting,
washing and waxing the floor and watering the plants. Work out a fair division of responsibilities
that both people are comfortable with.

158. A Relationship Prayer

Someone turned me onto the following relationship prayer that you can say before bed, either
together or privately.

Lord, help us remember that our love for each other

reflects your love for us.

May we empower one another to fulfill our purpose in life.

May our love be an example for our children and a model for all.

May our experience as a couple give us a preview

of the oneness we will experience someday.

Help us to see that everything is either love or a call for love.

Help us to celebrate our similarities and honor our differences.

Help us to accept our limitations and utilize our talents.

Thank you for this opportunity, this life

and for my loving partner.
Amen.

159. Spiritual Tests

Every conflict you overcome in your marriage deepens and strengthens the bond. Every fight and
conflict is a spiritual test of your love for each other. Do not bail out of a relationship at the first
spiritual test. Bailing out is easy. Hanging in there and processing all lessons is the true test of
maturity in a relationship.

160. Frequency of Sex

There is no hard, fast rule about the frequency of sexual involvement. Some people have a higher
libido than others. There are other factors such as one’s spiritual focus, priorities, job, stress level
and physical health. Obviously, when you first become deeply involved, your desire for sexual
contact will be relatively high, and this is appropriate for the bonding process. The frequency
will also change during different phases of the marriage. Some compromise might be needed.

It is also possible to have sexual involvement without either one having an orgasm. In some
sexual involvement the man or the woman might not feel like having an orgasm but can still
pleasure the partner. As long as this doesn’t become a regular habit, this is appropriate. In a
christed relationship, your partner’s needs are just as important, or even more important, than
your own. Great pleasure is received from meeting your partner’s needs.

161. Willingness to Show Desire

Do not be afraid to demonstrate and show passion and desire for your partner. Also, do not be
afraid to enjoy sexuality to the fullest. I speak here of that ascended-master consciousness or
Christ consciousness not being in conflict with sexual pleasure. God would have us feel pleasure
and give pleasure to our partner. Giving pleasure is an aspect of love. Being passionate is not
antithetical to spirituality.

The key here is to demonstrate higher-self, not lower-self passion. Higher-self passion is like
animal passion blended with unconditional love, caring, intimacy and respect. Lower-self
passion is just a pornographic movie for sex with no caring, no love or intimacy; it is just a
physical act. When one truly understands the spiritual path, one sees that it is the path of
integration and that one can integrate the best of both worlds.

162. Play Days

Institute a play day once or twice a month. It is an entire day given to just enjoying life together.

163. Foreplay
It is very important for men to realize that women have a slower sexual response buildup time
than men. Men need to learn to be more process-oriented instead of goal-oriented. When one
approaches sexual involvement with the attitude of being more concerned with serving your
partner first rather than yourself, this comes into greater balance and harmony.

164. Afterplay
In Gregory Godek’s book, The Portable Romantic , he quotes a woman named Sally who says,
“A man’s attention to foreplay indicates his knowledge of sex. But his attention to afterplay
indicates his knowledge of love.”

165. Your Relationship with Self

To be sure to bond in your relationship out of preference, wholeness, oneness, personal power,
strength, self-love, self-worth and being right with oneself and God. It is at that moment when
you are ready and able to live your life in fullness without a partner that you find one. The ideal
is for two wholes, or two self-realized God-beings, to blend. If you seek your completeness in a
partner instead of within yourself, you are setting yourself up for karma. Often people think what
they need is a relationship partner, but more often than not what they really need is to develop a
relationship with themselves and God.

166. Developing a Right Relationship to Self and God

The final golden key in making your romantic relationship work is to do everything in your
power to help yourself and your partner develop a right relationship to self and a right
relationship to God. The more your partner is right with self and with God, the more your
relationship is going to work. Make a lifestyle of mutual spiritual growth. Go to workshops and
seminars and support each other in counseling if needed. Occasionally you might want to see a
high-level channel.

I would recommend that you and your partner read Soul Psychology. This book is extremely
helpful for developing a right relationship to oneself. On the spiritual level, I would recommend
reading, The Complete Ascension Manual , Beyond Ascension and Golden Keys to Ascension and
Healing: Revelations of Sai Baba and the Ascended Masters.

The more you and your partner fill your lives with God, the better your relationship will be. The
higher you go on the personality, soul, monadic and self-actualization scale, the more self-
realized you and your relationship will become.
Special Thank Yous
At this time, I would like to give a special Thank You to another wonderful spiritual sister, Mary
Rosales, for her devoted and selfless computer work, which has allowed the logistical aspect of
putting this book together to occur with lightning speed.

I would like to acknowledge Michael Day for his outstanding editing help. His joy, love,
enthusiasm, skill and devotion to his work are greatly appreciated.

I would also like to give a special Thanks to Marti Elana Peace for her skillful editing.
T HE C OMPLETE A
SCENSION M ANUAL:
HOW TO ACHIEVE
ASCENSION IN THIS
LIFETIME
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
Stone has gleaned the essentials from vast research as well as
intuitive information and woven them into a simple and engrossing
exploration of self-realization. It is both practical and enlightening, Complete Ascension Series: Book 1
a guidebook through the past and a how-to manual for ascension.
Created to be read as an overview of the spiritual path, this book
explores the world’s great religions, great masters, spiritual
eISBN 978-1-62233-548-0 — $9.99
psychology, and the ascended masters’ teachings with specific steps
to accelerate our process of ascension.
It is a thorough introduction to subjects such as:

The monad, soul, and personality

God and the cosmic hierarchy
Ascension, the sixth initiation
Twenty ascension techniques to build your Light
quotient
Mantras, names of God, and words of power
147 Golden Keys to achieving ascension in this
lifetime
S OUL P SYCHOLOGY:
KEYS TO ASCENSION
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
There are tens of thousands of self-help books on psychology and
human relationships; however, there are very few that integrate the
topics of the soul and spirit into the picture. Most books on this
subject focus on personality-level self-actualization. The new wave
in the field of psychology is transpersonal or soul psychology,
which will lead to monadic psychology for the more advanced
students of the path.
The entire understanding of psychology is completely changed
when the soul is properly integrated. It has been said that
personality-level self-actualization brings happiness, soul-level self- Complete Ascension Series: Book 2
actualization brings joy, and monadic- and spiritual-level self-
actualization bring bliss. eISBN 978-1-62233-554-1 — $9.99
Some of the keys to ascension covered in this book include:

Integrating the three minds and the four bodies

The Christ consciousness and how to achieve it
Pitfalls and traps on the path of ascension
Physical immortality
An esoteric understanding of sexuality
Psychic self-defense
The laws of manifestation
B EYOND A SCENSION:
HOW TO COMPLETE THE
SEVEN LEVELS OF
INITIATION
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
There are tens of thousands of self-help books on psychology and
human relationships; however, there are very few that integrate the
topics of the soul and spirit into the picture. Most books on this
subject focus on personality-level self-actualization. The new wave
in the field of psychology is transpersonal or soul psychology,
which will lead to monadic psychology for the more advanced Complete Ascension Series: Book 3
students of the path.
The entire understanding of psychology is completely changed eISBN 978-1-62233-532-9 — $9.99
when the soul is properly integrated. It has been said that
personality-level self-actualization brings happiness, soul-level self-
actualization brings joy, and monadic- and spiritual-level self-
actualization bring bliss.
Some of the keys to ascension covered in this book include:

Integrating the three minds and the four bodies

The Christ consciousness and how to achieve it
Pitfalls and traps on the path of ascension
Physical immortality
An esoteric understanding of sexuality
Psychic self-defense
The laws of manifestation
H IDDEN M YSTERIES:
ETS, ANCIENT MYSTERY
SCHOOLS AND ASCENSION
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
The Essenes, the Kahunas of Hawaii, Pan and the nature kingdom,
the angelic kingdom, the Vedas and Upanishads, the Kabbalah, the
Yoga sutras of Patanjali, the Egyptian mysteries, and the Keys of
Enoch—these profound spiritual teachings, unknown to so many on
our planet, are a valuable resource available to anyone wishing to
move further along the path to enlightenment and ascension.
This book contains a wealth of information on esoteric teachings, Complete Ascension Series: Book 4
from the ancient mystery schools to recently founded religions.
More than a mere retelling of well-known facts, the story begins eISBN 978-1-62233-551-0 — $9.99
with what may be the most elusive knowledge of our time—that of
the extraterrestrial presence on Earth. .
Included are:

Lyra, Vega, Zeta Reticulum, Arcturus, Sirius, Orion,

and the Pleiades
Government cover-ups, the secret government, and
the obstacle of ego
The hollow Earth
The Ashtar Command
The angelic hierarchy, soul travel, and initiations
Charts, lists, and diagrams of the secret teachings
and sacred paths of the ages
T HE A SCENDED M
ASTERS L IGHT THE W AY:
BEACONS OF ASCENSION
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This book is dedicated to the saints and spiritual masters of all the
religions and spiritual paths that have graced this planet. The lives
and teachings of thirty-nine of the world’s greatest spiritual beacons
provide a blueprint for total self-realization.
Inspiring guidance from those who have learned the secrets of
mastery in their lifetimes: Complete Ascension Series: Book 5

Sri Rama eISBN 978-1-62233-564-0 — $9.99

Sri Ramakrishna
Swami Vivekananda
Paramahansa Yogananda
Swami Sivananda
Mahatma Gandhi
Quan Yin
Lao-tzu
Confucius
Orpheus
Pythagoras
Plato
Zoroaster
Mohammed
The Virgin Mary
Joseph Smith
Krishnamurti
Edgar Cayce
and many others!
C OSMIC A SCENSION:
YOUR COSMIC MAP HOME
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
Almost all the books on the planet on the subject of ascension are
written about planetary ascension. However, because of the
extraordinary times in which we now live, in terms of Earth’s
history, there is a new opening and potentiality to also begin one’s
cosmic ascension process.
This has never before been available. It must be understood, as
Vywamus has said, that in completing our planetary ascension, we
are no more than one-tenth of the way up a ten-inch ruler in terms of
our cosmic ascension process. This includes most of the ascended Complete Ascension Series: Book 6
masters. We on Earth who are working to complete our seven levels
of initiation must remember that there are 352 levels of initiation to eISBN 978-1-62233-553-4 — $9.99
return to the godhead, of Father-Mother God, at the top of creation.
Most of the ascended masters of the entire spiritual hierarchy are
not beyond the twelfth initiation. This is not a criticism, just a
simple statement of fact.
The question is, “What lies beyond the next nine-tenths of the
ruler, and how do we achieve our cosmic ascension as well as our
planetary ascension?—which is no small feat in and of itself.” It is
for this purpose that the author was guided to write this book.
Topics include:

cosmic ascension seats

cosmic evolution
Monadic ascension
one’s 144 soul extensions
self-realization
accountability
cosmic golden nuggets
twelve planetary festivals
cosmic discipleship
evolvement of nations
A B EGINNER'S G UIDE TO
THE P ATH OF A SCENSION
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This volume covers the basics of ascension clearly and completely,
from the spiritual hierarchy to the angels and star beings, in Dr.
Stone’s easy-to-read style. From his background in psychology, he
offers a unique perspective on such issues as karma, the
transcendence of the negative ego, the power of the spoken word,
and the psychology of ascension.
There are meditations and exercises to assist the reader in
integrating the principles of ascension in a practical way. The
importance of developing all bodies—the physical, the etheric, the Complete Ascension Series: Book 7
astral, and the mental, as well as the higher monadic and soul bodies
—is emphasized. eISBN 978-1-62233-565-7 — $9.99
With interesting examples and personal stories, the various
spiritual realms and planes are described and the path of initiation is
illustrated. This is a book that makes learning enjoyable.
Various chapters include:

Humanity As Spiritual Beings

The Spiritual Hierarchy
The Psychology of Ascension
The Question of Karma
Opening to the Higher Senses
The Devic Line of Evolution
Our Animal Brothers and Sisters
Our Brothers and Sisters of the Stars
Synthesis and Integration
G OLDEN K EYS TO A
SCENSION AND H EALING:
REVELATIONS OF SAI BABA
AND THE ASCENDED
MASTERS
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This volume represents the wisdom of the ascended masters
condensed into concise keys that serve as a spiritual guide. There
are 420 golden keys that present the multitude of methods,
Complete Ascension Series: Book 8
techniques, affirmations, prayers, and insights Dr. Stone has gleaned
from his own background in psychology and life conditions and his eISBN 978-1-62233-517-6 — $9.99
thorough research of all the ancient and contemporary classics that
speak of the path to God realization.
The teachings of Sai Baba and other ascended masters are at the
core of these keys, and the author has also drawn up on various
spiritual scriptures such as the Bhagavad-Gita and the Bible.
Especially valuable are practical methods to support the ascension
process, such as journal writing and spiritual logs, as well as
meditations and prayers.
The keys are organized into the following chapters:

Core Spiritual Principles

Healing from the Higher Dimensions
Evolution and Integration
Inner-Plane Activations and Energies
Manifestation: Principles and Practices
Anchoring Spirituality Into Our Daily Lives
Practical Methods for Mastery
The Masters and the Path
Caring for the Temple of God
World Affairs, Leadership, and the Pursuit of
Excellence
Final Golden Gems
M ANUAL FOR P LANETARY
L EADERSHIP
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
Here at last is an indispensable book that has been urgently needed
in these uncertain times. This book lays out, in an orderly and clear
fashion, the guidelines for leadership in the world and in ones’ own
life.
All the areas of our society and personal life that need discipline
and leadership are pointed out. A firm foundation and guidance
from a psychological and spiritual perspective are offered for
change. The ascended masters are called on for their wisdom and
sometimes opinion on matters ranging from the political arena to Complete Ascension Series: Book 9
science and religion.
This book serves as a reference manual for moral and spiritual eISBN 978-1-62233-587-9 — $9.99
living and also offers a vision of a world where strong love and the
highest aspirations of humanity triumph. Hundreds of topics are
divided into the following chapters:

Spiritual Leadership in the New Age

Laying the Foundation for the Great Work
The Political, Social, and Philosophical Issues of Our
Time
The Ascended Masters’ Perspective on Leadership
Leadership and the Pursuit of Excellence
Leadership Gems
God’s Law vs. Man’s Law
Y OUR A SCENSION M
ISSION:
EMBRACING YOUR PUZZLE
PIECE
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
We are all as unique as individual snowflakes, intricately designed
so that no two are alike, yet when observed as a whole, we form the
blended essence of lightworkers, merging into vaster and fuller
aspects of God, the one great whole. Each of us holds a very
specialized piece of the divine puzzle of God, or the whole. The Complete Ascension Series: Book 10
more attuned we become to God, the more we are called to find and
fulfill that specialized piece of the puzzle belonging to ourselves
alone. When we find this puzzle piece and embrace it, we are then eISBN 978-1-62233-569-5 — $9.99
able to fulfill our divine mission on this Earth.
In this book, Dr. Joshua David Stone shows how each person’s
puzzle piece is just as vital and necessary as any other. The
following chapters explain in detail all aspects of living the fullest
expression of your unique puzzle piece:

The Search for Your Puzzle Piece

Using the Rays to Find and Embrace Your
Ascension Mission
The Spiritualization of All Puzzle Pieces
Relationships, Puzzle Pieces, and Ascension
Missions
Living Your Joy, Drifting with the River
Blending the Puzzle Pieces of the Whole
The Glory and Glamour of Ascension
Puzzle Pieces, Past Lives, Karma, and Other
Influences
Puzzle Pieces in Group Bodies
The Puzzle Piece of Being Human
Puzzle Pieces in the Next Millennium
R EVELATIONS OF A M
ELCHIZEDEK I NITIATE
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This book traces the author’s journey of ascension through the
seven levels of initiation, through the process of anchoring and
activating his fifty chakras, expanding to a 99% light quotient, then
on to anchoring and fully activating all twelve bodies, which
include the five higher bodies. Exactly how this is done is shared,
through in-depth information given on the workings of the inner-
plane ashram under the guidance of Djwhal Khul, Lord Maitreya,
and Lord Melchizedek.
You are invited to journey with him as he unfolds the process of Complete Ascension Series: Book 11
his initiations, beginning at the sixth, moving through the equivalent
of the tenth initiation, and into the beginning of the eleventh. eISBN 978-1-62233-570-1 — $9.99
Written as a personal log, this book shares, in an open and candid
manner, dreams, meditations, conversations with the masters,
spiritual background, thoughts and reflections, and actual ascension
experiences.
Various chapters include:

The Order of Melchizedek

Some Reflections on My Path of Ascension
My Experience of the Initiation Process
Ascension and the Importance of Meditation
Wesak and the First Ascension Wave
My Meditations with the Core Group
My Dream Process in Relation to Ascension
Golden Nuggets of Ascension
H OW TO T EACH A
SCENSION C LASSES
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This book serves as an ideal foundation for teaching ascension
classes and doing workshops. The inner-plane ascended masters
have guided Dr. Stone to put together this book, using his Easy-to-
Read Encyclopedia of the Spiritual Path as its foundation. Here you
will find an entire one- to two-year program of classes for teaching
from one to hundreds of student initiates.
Teaching or setting up a class in your home to facilitate
ascension realization is one of the most important services one
could offer one’s friends, students, and even family. With this book, Complete Ascension Series: Book 12
it is easy. Details on how to start and end every class are given, as
well as outlines for 132 classes. Also included are suggestions on eISBN 978-1-62233-567-1 — $9.99
how to observe the major holy days that the inner-plane ascended
masters would like us to celebrate on Earth. Using his teaching
experience, Dr. Stone has also outlined all the logistical and third-
dimensional considerations that will come up. The only tools a class
leader needs would be his books and meditation tapes.
Various chapters include:

Opening and Closing Your Classes

Logistical Considerations
Mantras and Power Names of God
Structuring Your Classes
Ascension-Activation Meditations
Celebrating the Holy Days
132 Class Outlines
C OMPLETE A SCENSION I
NDEX
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
This companion volume to the groundbreaking Encyclopedia of the
Spiritual Path series will allow you easier access to the techniques
and wisdom of Dr. Joshua David Stone. Within its pages, you will
find ascension names and the ascended master terms glossary, along
with a complete index of all the books in the series. The Complete
Ascension Index is a valuable resource for anyone seeking the path
to ascension and enlightenment.

Complete Ascension Series: Book 14

eISBN 978-1-62233-721-7 — $4.99

H OW TO B E F INANCIALLY S
UCCESSFUL
A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE
BY JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD
The guiding principle in Dr. Stone’s classic work on business and prosperity
consciousness is this: If you desire abundance for yourself, dedicate your life to helping
others find abundance as well. As one of the most successful businessmen of the New
Age movement, Dr. Stone has written an easily digestible book full of tools and advice
for achieving prosperity. This book conveys esoteric secrets of the universe that, if
mastered, can lead to maximum manifestation results. Complete Ascension Series: Book 15
Based on personal experience and the deep spiritual, psychological, and earthly
eISBN
insights from Dr. Stone’s extensive research and application of these principles, this978-1-62233-566-4
book — $9.99
is like no other in the financial field because it is a holistic approach for life study rather
than just another book about money—it will change not only your finances, but your life.
Topics include:

keys to prosperity consciousness from the soul’s perspective

how to develop the Midas touch
the seven keys to releasing fear and worry
two great spiritual secrets of the ages revealed
How to Master the twelve levels of integrated spiritual power in life
integration of the seven rays and spiritual leadership
how to program the subconscious mind for success in business