Beyond The Screen

Today is a special day, or at least I hope it is. Why? Because my friend from abroad is coming
here, and we're going to a Japanese event together. I was surprised when I heard that she
would be coming here. I arrived earlier than the time we agreed upon, feeling nervous. Every
second, I kept checking my phone, wondering if she had arrived yet.
From a distance, I could see a short woman observing me. I texted Yuu, asking if that was
her. After my message was sent, I saw her checking her phone, and it seemed like it was
indeed Yuu. I smiled at her and waved, she waved back and walked towards me.
How did we meet here? The story is a bit long. In the beginning, God created the heaven and
the earth. Sorry, that's too far back. Her names is Tsukiko Yuu, I’ve known her from one of
the shorts on YouTube. I saw her and wanted to support her. She's a VTuber on twitch with a
cute and adorable voice and personality. I've known her since then, watching her from behind
my screen.
Seeing her grow from then until now, witnessing her laugh, cry, and get angry. Watching
people come and go. I feel a bit special being with her from the first time until now. Her shy,
innocent, and cute personality makes me enjoy watching her every day, even if it means
staying up late. She also has a beautiful voice and has covered several songs; I often listen to
them on my way to the office and back home. Truly, her voice makes me happier and erases
my fatigue.
Of course, initially, I was just a viewer. However, as Yuu grew larger, and more people started
following her, she occasionally invited others to play some online games together. I lack
confidence in my own voice, but I hope Yuu isn't bothered by that. When her channel was on
the rise, unfortunately, she had to take a hiatus for a few weeks due to work commitments.
During that time, my sleep schedule improved because I didn't have to stay up, but honestly, I
missed hearing her voice.
One day, Yuu invited me and another person to play a game together. We used voice chat to
communicate. "Hello Virgo, how are you-how are you?" Yuu asked with her distinctive tone.
"Hello Yuu, how was your vacation?" I joked.
"What vacation huh? What vacation?" Yuu replied.
We played several matches, and of course, we didn't always win. But what surprised me was
Yuu's skill in this game. The game is known for its bad community, full of trash-talking,
cheating, or toxicity. Despite Yuu's shy, gentle, and adorable nature, she is very skilled at
playing this particular game and often gets MVP. As a girl, she typically chooses characters
based on their cuteness level and buys some cute skins.
Until now, I've never heard Yuu swearing, so I asked, "So Yuu, when will you swear?"
"No no, Yuu never swear, Yuu good girl," she replied in her typical cute tone.
By the way, my English isn't too good because I'm from Indonesia, and Yuu is from
Singapore. But among my friends from Malaysia and Singapore, it seems that only Yuu has a
different way of speaking. Even some of Yuu's friends speak in the common
Malaysian/Singaporean style.
Currently, Yuu plays more games that can be played with others, so she often collaborates.
Occasionally, I ask her, "Yuu, when will you play Zelda or Only up?"
"No no. No Zelda or Only up, too tough," Yuu answered.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why? Why every time Yuu choose other game like animal crossing or story of seasons,
Virgo asks why? But when Yuu chooses to play both of that, Virgo always says okay. Why?
Why?" Yuu responded. I always enjoy teasing her whenever there's a chance; her reactions
are so adorable.
At this point, I'm already head over heels for Yuu, but I try to restrain myself. I don't want
Yuu to think I'm strange and start distancing herself from me. I don't want to lose all of this,
and even as I write this story, I wonder, "What am I doing?"
Apart from gaming, Yuu often hosts watch parties, and of course, since we (Yuu's followers)
know that Yuu isn't good with horror and stuff, we always choose horror films to watch
together. Even when playing horror games, Yuu can be startled by small things. However,
after watching many horror films and playing horror games, Yuu started to get used to jump
scares.
Yuu also enjoys playing mahjong with her friends, fellow Twitch streamers. Additionally, she
likes to gamble/gacha in games. Of course, only in the game. Several times, I caught her
gambling on other streamers' channels or even on her own stream. "Yuu, no gambling, or you
will lose everything."
"No no, Yuu not gambling, Yuu not addicted to gambling," she said.
"Sure," I replied, even though it's clear that Yuu enjoys gambling in the game. Fortunately, it's
only in the game. But sometimes, when her luck is good, and she wins a lot, she can get very
excited. However, when she's having a streak of bad luck, she can be in a very bad mood.
Truly adorable.
Yuu once mentioned that her birthday is in October, but she didn't tell when exactly. So,
secretly, I made a compilation video of cute moments from her first stream until now.
Looking back, I realized I'm just one of her viewers, nothing more.
Honestly, creating this special video made me realize that from the beginning, we were
destined to be an idol and a follower. Yuu will be an idol to many, while I'm just one of her
loyal supporters in the audience. That... is more than enough, as long as Yuu can continue to
laugh and be happy, it's sufficient for me. I hope this video can bring her joy.
While searching for some videos and clips, I found one of Yuu's first streams. I then opened it
and just realized... Yuu's voice has changed from then until now. Her voice used to be more
like "Onee-san," while now it's more like "Imouto." That's why I often see Yuu as a younger
sister who needs protection. I also consider Yuu that way to hide my feelings for her.
"Yuu, look, I found Yuu Onee-san." I said in her DMs while sending a clip from her first
Zelda game stream.
"Omg!!? Nooooo the voice, forget it!! Only remember the cute Yuu, thanks! No onee-san."
Yuu replied, her reaction was so adorable, and I really enjoyed teasing her so much.
"Why? I love Yuu onee-san's voice and Yuu's cute voice in the same amount." I teased her
again.
"Packaging Yuu as cute instead! So no onee-san." Yuu replied.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I want it to be cuter, doesn't match!!" Yuu replied. She truly feels embarrassed
hearing her "Onee-san" voice and considers it as her low-energy or tired voice.
After creating a compilation of funny moments from Yuu's streams, I decided to add one
more thing... birthday wishes from Yuu's loyal followers, whom I considered close to Yuu. I
thought about asking for birthday wishes from her Twitch friends as well, but I figured they
would give their own gifts.
Finally, the birthday stream began. We watched together the covers Yuu made. As a small
indie Vtuber, Yuu created many covers in a short period. After that, we played Goose Goose
Duck together. But I loved her covers, and this time, the cover became a real earworm for me.
One day, I saw Yuu posting something on Twitter, so I asked her how she was. "Yuu, you are
not going anywhere, right?"
"Nope nope! Don't worry!!" Yuu replied.
"Of course, I worry." I said. At that time, Yuu was one of the things that kept me excited
about work, so if she suddenly disappeared...
"Not graduating. I don't think I will graduate unless something happens!! But for now, all is
good!!! I like being with y'all! But I feel like if I ever graduate, it will only be due to me
suddenly not happy about stream-related stuff or something like that. But there isn't!" Yuu
replied, trying to reassure me.
At that moment, I felt really embarrassed, doing things like that, sending messages like that,
who am I anyway?
"I will go to Singapore if you suddenly graduate," I joked to lighten the mood.
After that, Yuu confided about something. "After the two weeks break, it's hard to go back
up."
"Well, life is up and down, just bear with us," I replied, trying to comfort her.
"Trying to stream another single-player game, maybe can try the convenience store one," Yuu
said.
"Sure sure, can I get 1 onigiri please?" I joked.
Then I sent another message, "Tonight you didn't stream, right? And tomorrow is another
collab?"
"Yup, no stream!!" Yuu replied.
"Should we go out tonight and eat somewhere?" I joked, as if we lived close by.
After that, I said good night to Yuu and continued my activities on the weekend. Today is
Saturday, usually, people spend time with their partners. I don't have one and am not
interested in finding one. Perhaps Yuu already has a partner there, or there is someone close
to her there. I will never be able to compete with anyone. I only know Yuu as a Vtuber, not
someone in the real world, and will never know.
A month after that day, Yuu released another cover song. Suddenly in the afternoon, she sent
a message, "I shall..."
I was confused, and she clarified that she would start the stream earlier than usual. She
initially wanted to ask them to wait for her, but Yuu felt uncomfortable asking them to wait.
"I'm just afraid no one talking!!!" Yuu said.
"What do you mean no one talking?" I asked.
"What if no one comes into the stream?" Yuu seemed insecure and worried about a few
things.
"That's nearly impossible," I reassured her.
Yuu seemed to calm down and said, "Virgo shall be the someone that comes in."
At that moment, I was indeed waiting for her stream to start, and hearing that she hoped I
would be one of the early arrivals made me happy. After that, we discussed some more
covers, even though Yuu had already said, "See ya later." Yuu prepared too many covers, and
I wondered how she managed to do that.
We chatted longer than usual, and Yuu seemed to be getting comfortable talking about things
that were somewhat confidential to me. I knew she usually shared these things with some of
her Twitch streamer friends. Then she said, "Succeed hopefully in vsinger." In one of her
streams playing the Hatsune Miku Diva Project game, she mentioned how much she loved
singing and covering songs and wanted to become like Hatsune Miku or a Vsinger.
I want to be by Yuu's side when she successfully becomes a Vsinger. I want to be one of the
people who witness Yuu becoming a Vsinger, supporting her every step of the way. Honestly,
this cover made me cry. Behind the meaning of the lyrics, Yuu also poured her emotions into
every lyric and note.
"Thanks for always listening!! Thanks for being with me since the start! Really appreciate it!"
Yuu sent that message instantly after we discussed her latest cover.
I know Yuu truly meant it, but what can I hope for? Just for a moment, a second, a minute,
did I feel like a part of Yuu's life? Well, reading that made me slightly emotional. But yeah,
after that, as usual, there is some distance again between us. What can I expect? I'm just an
online friend; we don't know each other's personal lives, and we don't even know each other's
real names.
After that, I asked my other online friends again. Some of them were in online relationships,
having met their significant others on Discord, and then engaging in long-distance
relationships. I wasn't too trusting of relationships like that, even though some of them tried
to convince me.
I explained about Yuu and me, and they agreed that, for now, we were just online friends. I
didn't seem to be trying to get closer to Yuu, and I didn't want our relationship to become
awkward.
"If it continues like this, your relationship won't go anywhere. Is that what you want?" one of
my friends asked.
"Yeah, what are you expecting? She's a vtuber. Have you ever seen a vtuber dating a viewer?"
I explained.
"So what? You like her, right? At least fight for your love," another friend responded.
I fell silent for a moment. "Love doesn't have to possess. Seeing her happy and being a place
for her to lean on is enough for me," I explained. I might sound poetic, but it was just a silly
excuse to justify what I was doing. I was just a coward.
One day, I chatted with Yuu again through DM. She mentioned that her streaming schedule
would be reduced for the next two months because she had many wedding invitations to
attend.
"Are you going alone? Why do you have to go more precisely?" I asked.
"Because they are my friends?" Yuu replied.
Although Yuu preferred spending her time indoors, she didn't seem to be like me, or maybe I
was the odd one. I didn't particularly enjoy going to crowded places like events, weddings, or
other gatherings. But maybe Yuu couldn't refuse, as she always gave in, being the person she
was.
"If you have a plus one but don't know who to bring, I'm free," I teased Yuu.
"Sure, come here then," Yuu replied, sending a laughing emoji.
After that, we celebrated Christmas together with others, and Yuu released another cover. The
same went for New Year's, but we celebrated it a few days after because everyone was busy
with their personal matters. Until one day, Yuu sent a message to my DM.
"Virgo!! I hear there is a big Japanese event in Indonesia in February? You go there?" Yuu
asked.
"Ah, Japan Festival 2024? Yes, why are you asking?" I replied.
"Me and Hikarin will go there together! I am so excited and also nervous!" Yuu responded.
"Oh really? Are you going to cosplay too?" I joked.
"No!! No cosplay! Only Yuu as Yuu," Yuu replied.
"Virgo will go there too?" Yuu asked.
Honestly, I didn't want to go to that event, but... "Of course, wanna meet there? LOL," I
replied, trying to sound lighthearted and not too serious.
"If possible!!" Yuu replied, sending a laughing emoji.
I didn't know if she was serious or not, so I replied, "Are you sure? Are you okay meeting me
in real life?"
"Well, not really. But I trust Virgo won't do anything bad. If Virgo does, Hikarin will arrest
Virgo!!" Yuu joked.
"Lol, I will keep my hands off Yuu then. So, on which day will you attend the event?" I
asked.
"Hikarin will be attending both days, but I don't know if I can because it sounds tiring," Yuu
replied.
"I feel the same way. Maybe we can sync our schedules?" I suggested.
"What time do you think is good, though?" Yuu asked for my opinion.
"How about the first day? That way, on the second day, you can rest before returning to
Singapore," I answered.
"See you at the event then!!" Yuu replied.
"I don't think it will be that long; we will meet in your stream anyway," I joked, and Yuu just
realized that.
"Almost forgot!! Virgo likes chocolate?" Yuu asked.
"Yeah, I like chocolate. Why?" I asked back.
"No reason! See ya in the stream!!" After that, Yuu didn't reply to my messages.
That night, the stream started as usual, with Yuu playing a cooking game with her fellow
streamer friends. The chaos and laughter during their gameplay were incredibly amusing and
entertaining. Since Yuu was playing with only four people, she could talk a lot without
holding back, laugh freely, and be her authentic self.
After 4 hours of streaming, they finally finished. Towards the end of the stream, Yuu asked,
"It's rare for you to watch from the beginning to the end, Virgo. Usually, you fall asleep when
you watch me."
"There's something on my mind right now," I replied in the live chat.
Yuu became curious and asked, "No overthinking! Go to sleep! Rest! What are you thinking
about?"
"You," I answered.
"Eh?" Yuu was confused, and then she laughed.
That night, I really couldn't sleep because of thinking about Yuu, or more precisely, thinking
about my feelings for Yuu. What do I feel right now? Do I like her? Why? I know this will
never work for both of us. Or am I falling in love with Yuu because I was writing a love
story... a story where Yuu and I could be together?
Not long after Yuu finished the stream, I finally managed to sleep, right after finishing writing
the story. Due to lack of sleep, I went to work feeling drowsy. While riding the bus, I put on
my earphones and listened to one of Yuu's cover songs, which helped me sleep during the
journey to the office.
Although I had finished writing the story about Yuu, I couldn't stop thinking about her until
the day we would meet in person got closer. Lacking confidence in my appearance, I sought
help from some of my closest friends. I bought new clothes, shaved my beard and mustache,
and tidied up my hair a bit.
The awaited day finally arrived. I looked quite different in the mirror, and I just hoped that
Yuu wouldn't regret seeing me like this. I went there by bus and arrived quite early, but the
entrance line and parking were already full. I waited while checking my phone.
The rest is as I described at the beginning. I saw Yuu; she turned out to be shorter than me,
maybe around 150cm or 4.9ft. She seemed a bit shy when greeting me. Honestly, I felt a bit
embarrassed too, but I tried not to show it in front of Yuu.
"Hello, Yuu. I didn't expect that we would finally meet," I said, waving my hand and smiling
at her.
Yuu nodded and said, "Yeah, me neither. So, this is Virgo in the real world." Yuu looked in
my direction and smiled.
"Do you like what you see?" I joked, trying to appear confident.
Yuu nodded and smiled. Honestly, I hoped Yuu would respond with a joke, and now I could
feel my ears turning red. After a brief pause, I invited Yuu to enter the event. We queued up
with other visitors, observing the chaotic line etiquette here. I tried to protect Yuu from other
visitors so she wouldn't get squeezed or pushed.
"By the way, where's Hikarin?" I asked.
"Hikarin went in first; I told her to go in first because I was going to meet you," Yuu
explained.
After queuing for quite a while, we finally entered. Yuu and I walked around, checking out
various booths. I bought some comics and merchandise, but Yuu didn't seem to buy anything;
she just looked around.
"You're not buying anything, Yuu?" I asked curiously.
Yuu shook her head, "I don't know which one I should buy; there's so much good stuff!"
Hearing that, I chuckled.
We continued exploring, bought some snacks, and eventually, Yuu bought some cute and
adorable merchandise. We ran into Hikarin, and I greeted her. Apparently, Hikarin had also
met one of her friends who was a cosplayer, so we continued exploring separately.
"Are you still holding up, Yuu? We've been walking and standing for quite a while. Do you
want to take a break?" I asked to make sure of Yuu's condition.
Yuu shook her head and said, "I'm okay! Yuu is strong!" Enthusiastically, seeing her cute
behavior made me laugh again, and we continued walking.
As more visitors flooded the event, I realized we might get separated from each other.
"Virgo!" I heard Yuu's voice trying to call me. I glanced behind and saw Yuu being carried
away by the crowd.
"Yuu!" I panicked and immediately grabbed her hand. I pulled her with too much force, and
she stumbled towards me. "Are you okay? What about your belongings?" I asked to confirm.
Yuu's face turned red, and she nodded. She then checked her bag and sighed deeply; perhaps,
she was relieved that nothing was lost. "Hold the sleeve of my jacket, okay? Don't let us get
separated," I suggested.
Yuu quickly grabbed the sleeve of my jacket, and we continued our journey. Since then, Yuu
became quieter, and she looked down a lot. After going through all the booths, I suggested to
Yuu that we should take a break. She nodded.
On our way out, we faced more crowds. I felt Yuu's grip loosen, so I immediately grabbed her
hand and didn't let go. Finally, we managed to exit the building and breathe fresh air.
"Virgo... um... can you let go of my hand?" Yuu said, turning her red face away.
"Ah! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to." Great, I got too carried away.
"It's okay; thank you," Yuu said, touching her own arm. I hoped she didn't feel uncomfortable
with my actions earlier.
"So..." Yuu took something out of her bag. "Here... your chocolate."
"Eh?" I was confused and then remembered that Yuu had asked about this a long time ago.
"Thank you, Yuu; you didn't have to bother. Is this chocolate from Singapore?" I joked.
Yuu covered her face with the shopping bag and shook her head. I was confused for a
moment until I realized. It was February, and this month there's Valentine's Day, where men
receive chocolates from women. Could it be... Valentine's chocolate?!
From the wrapping, it seemed like handmade chocolate. Yuu wasn't particularly skilled in
cooking, so it meant she must have tried really hard to make this chocolate. "Can I eat it
now?" I asked to confirm.
Yuu nodded her head, still hiding behind her bag. I took one of the chocolates and tasted it. I
had prepared myself for the possibility that the chocolate might not taste good, given Yuu's
limited cooking skills, but I believed that this chocolate would be delicious.
I bit into it and chewed, hmm! "This is good, Yuu," I said after savoring Yuu's homemade
chocolate.
Yuu smiled, her face radiant and happy. "I'm glad if Virgo likes it."
"Do you want some?" I offered Yuu while extending the chocolate to her.
Yuu shook her head, but I insisted, and eventually, she agreed. She tasted one and had a
happy expression. "It really is delicious!" she exclaimed.
"So, you didn't try it before giving it to me?" I teased.
We laughed together for a while, and then Yuu sat on a bench. I approached her again,
bringing her favorite drink, iced tea. "Thank you, Virgo. You still remember my favorite
drink?"
"Of course." Oh... I answered so quickly without realizing it. I hoped Yuu didn't find me
strange. I glanced at her and saw her sipping her iced tea with a radiant face, indicating there
was no issue.