Autism Parenting

Issue 34

Magazine
HELP YOUR
AUTISTIC CHILD
SLEEP BETTER

Design Ideas for a

COZY CHILD’S ROOM How to Save
Relax: 7 Keys to Money on
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Dear Readers,

W
elcome to our special edition of Autism Parenting
Magazine EXTRA. As you know, we aim to publish
the most up-to-date news, research and profes-
sional guidance written by noted medical pro-
fessionals, coaches, occupational therapists, parents and
adults on the spectrum on a monthly basis. Since we like
to keep abreast of the latest challenges and triumphs
families with child on the spectrum experience, we try to
produce a few extra issues within the year that focus on
a particular topic. Just like our monthly magazine, we try
to keep these editions at a minimal cost for our readers.
Please note, issues of Autism Parenting Magazine EXTRA
are sold individually and are not part of a subscription.
We all know life can be challenging, especially when bal- Gaskill interviews Southeast Psych’s Dr. Melissa Miller
ancing the needs of our children on the spectrum. Some- about why Aspies might be prone to sleep problems.
times, it seems to take every ounce of energy to make Miller provides some excellent tips that everyone could
it to the end of the day, a time that should be reserved use to sleep better.
for parents to unwind and reenergize. Unfortunately, for
Another interesting aspect to consider when trying to
some, the end of the day doesn’t provide nighttime bliss,
get a child to sleep is bedroom space. We asked Licensed
rather it brings its own set of hurdles. From the battle to
Interior Designer Carolyn Feder, TBAE TAID, to share her
survive daily hygiene routines to actually getting a child
advice for creating a calming bedroom space for chil-
to fall asleep (and stay asleep), it can feel like you missed
dren on the spectrum through the use of color, texture
time to unwind.
and furniture placement.
That’s why we are especially thrilled to offer this excep-
Many parents have also voiced the challenge of finding
tional lineup of articles in this special issue. According to
larger-sized diaper products (to include pull-ups and
Sujay Kansagra, M.D., Director of the Pediatric Neurology
youth pants) for children on the spectrum. Not only is it
Sleep Medicine Program at Duke University, studies indi-
expensive to continue to purchase these products, but
cate up to 80% of children with autism have some sort of
the larger sizes are often hard to find. We have put to-
sleep difficulties. In his article, “Helping Your Child with
gether an article with information about the financial as-
Autism Sleep: An Overview of Sleep Hygiene and Behav-
sistance available to some families with children on the
ioral Strategies,” Kansagra provides parents with advice
spectrum, from Medicare to private insurance, as well as
on creating routines and schedules as well as essential
a buying guide to finding the right product at a good
behavioral tactics.
price.
We also reached out for bedtime advice from Sarah Kup-
Sometimes, when faced with long days and what seems
ferschmidt, MA, BCBA, who believes the ability to fall
like even longer nights, parents and caregivers of chil-
to sleep, just like many behaviors, is a skill that can be
dren on the spectrum don’t feel they ever have the op-
learned. Her article, “4 Tips for Finding the Right Bed-
portunity to relax and rejuvenate. That’s why we asked
time Routine,” focuses on strategies to help children on
Deanna Picon, the founder of Your Autism Coach, LLC,
the spectrum wind down at the end of the day and fall
to provide advice for overworked parents on how to
asleep. Part of that bedtime process includes the need
reenergize. Her article, “Shed the Stress: Seven Ways To
for good hygiene practices. Be sure to read a piece called
‘Spring Clean’ Your Life,” is sure to inspire.
“Practicing Good Hygiene and Self-Care for Life” by An-
gelina M., MS, BCBA, MFTI, who provides first-rate guid- We hope our EXTRA issue will help to make a difference
ance including visual tools to help children practice ba- in your family’s life.
sic self-care/hygiene skills.
Best,
We are also happy to be able to share a video clip within Amy KD Tobik
this issue of the Dr. G Aspie Show where host Dr. Frank Editor-in-Chief

Disclaimer:
Autism Parenting Magazine tries its best to deliver honest, unbiased reviews, resources, and advice but please note that due to the variety of
capabilities of people on the spectrum that these are recommendations and are not guaranteed by Autism Parenting Magazine or its writers.

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 3

Table of contents
5H
elping Your Child with Autism
Sleep: An Overview of Sleep
Hygiene and Behavioral Strategies
The Director of the Pediatric Neurology Sleep Medi-
cine Program at Duke University provides parents with
essential behavioral strategies to help children on the
spectrum sleep.
Author: Sujay Kansagra, M.D.

10 Dr. G Aspie Show - Practical Tips

for Combating Sleep Problems
with Asperger Kids
In this episode of Dr. G Aspie Show, host Dr. Frank Gaskill
interviews Southeast Psych’s Dr. Melissa Miller about
why Aspies may be prone to sleep problems while pro-
viding tips that everyone can use to sleep better.
Author: Frank Gaskill

11 Practicing Good Hygiene and

Self-Care for Life
Board Certified Behavior Analyst Angelina M. shares
excellent guidance including visual tools to help your
child practice basic self-care/hygiene skills we as adults
require to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Author: Angelina M., MS, BCBA, MFTI

15 4 TIPS FOR FINDING THE RIGHT BEDTIME 24 SHED THE STRESS: SEVEN WAYS TO ‘SPRING
ROUTINE CLEAN’ YOUR LIFE
Board Certified Behavior Analyst Sarah Kupferschmidt The founder of Your Autism Coach, LLC, which pro-
believes the ability to fall to sleep, just like most behav- vides personalized guidance and seminars for parents
iors, is a skill that can be learned. Her article focuses of special needs children, provides her advice for over-
on tips and strategies to help children on the spectrum worked parents on how to reenergize their lives with a
find the right bedtime routine and fall asleep. few simple tweaks.
Author: Sarah Kupferschmidt, MA, BCBA Author: Deanna Picon
18 INNOVATIVE WAYS TO CREATE A PEACEFUL AND 28 FINDING WELL-PRICED BIG KID DIAPER
CALMING BEDROOM SPACE PROTECTION THAT FITS
A licensed interior designer provides excellent advice It’s not always easy finding the larger-sized diaper
for creating a calming bedroom space for children on products needed for children on the spectrum. Read
the spectrum through the use of color, texture and fur- about the financial assistance available to some fam-
niture placement. ilies, from Medicare to private insurance, as well as a
Author: Carolyn Feder, TBAE TAID buying guide to finding the right product at a good
price.
22 THE CALMING EFFECTS OF ESSENTIAL OILS Author: Amy KD Tobik
The mother of a young boy with autism and Bipolar
disorder shares her personal success using essential
oils to calm and relax her son.
Author: Courtney Barnum
Disclaimer: Please note that the advertised business and products are not endorsed
or guaranteed by Autism Parenting Magazine or any of it’s employees.

4 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

BEHAVIORAL ADVICE

HELPING YOUR CHILD WITH AUTISM SLEEP:

An Overview of Sleep Hygiene
and Behavioral Strategies
By Sujay KANSAGRA, M.D.

Sleep problems are common amongst children. For children with autism, sleep can
be even more challenging. Studies show that up to 80% of children with autism have
some sort of sleep difficulties.

M
ost often it is due to difficulty falling and/ sleep hygiene is a combination of our behaviors and
or staying asleep. The goal of this article is the things around us that can help or hurt our sleep.
to review sleep hygiene and discuss behav- There are four basic elements of good sleep hygiene.
ioral approaches to help promote a better
night’s sleep. 1. Sleep Routine: Every child should have a set
nighttime routine. A sleep routine consists of a
series of activities that are performed the same
Sleep Hygiene way and begin at the same time every night lead-
No discussion about sleep should begin without first ing to bedtime. These activities should help your
talking about the foundation for sleep—good sleep child wind down. Children with autism may be
hygiene. What exactly is sleep hygiene? Simply put, particularly driven towards routines, so once the

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 5

BEHAVIORAL ADVICE

nighttime routine is established, it will hopefully 2. Appropriate Sleep Schedule: How many hours
be easy to continue. I recommend parents have of sleep does a child need? How many naps should
a visual representation of the nighttime routine a child take? It is evident that many children with
to help the child learn the components and the autism do not seem to sleep as much as other
sequence of steps. Once each part of the routine children, nor do they take as many naps, yet seem
is complete, the visual chart is shown to the child to stay awake without appearing fatigued during
again to indicate which step is next. The final step the day. In order to get a rough idea of how much
should be lying the child in bed and the parent sleep your child needs, below is a chart I use for all
saying goodnight. The goal is to have quiet activi- children. Please remember that children with au-
ties that avoid too much light exposure and men- tism may fall out of this range completely, but the
tal/physical stimulation. A good routine should chart will hopefully give you a reference point.
be about twenty to thirty minutes in length. It is
important to avoid TV, tablets and smartphones Age Average Sleep # of Naps
during this time. This can be tricky as some chil- Needed
dren use these tools to help calm themselves and 0–3 Months 12–18 hours 3+
prepare for bed. I encourage parents to move 3–12 14–15 hours 2-4
these activities earlier in the evening and to avoid Months
bright light from these types of devices for at least 1–3 years 12–14 hours 1-2
one hour prior to bed. Light exposure can change 3–5 years 11–13 hours 0-1
the brain’s pattern of melatonin secretion, an im- 5–10 years 10–12 hours None
portant hormone for sleep. For children with au- 10–17 years 8.5–10 hours None
tism, studies show that their melatonin secretion Adults 7–9 hours None
may be prone to dysfunction at baseline. Light ex- Source: My Child Won’t Sleep. Kansagra S, Cre-
posure before bed can make this even worse. atespace Publishers, South Carolina: 2014.

6 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

BEHAVIORAL ADVICE

The take-away message is that the duration of I recommend that children do not consume any
normal sleep is a range, and every child is differ- substances with caffeine, regardless of whether
ent. or not there is a sleep issue. Medical problems
can also disrupt sleep, including nasal congestion
3. A Comfortable Environment: This is obvious,
from allergies, eczema, sleep apnea, restless leg,
but the environment should be a comfortable
and Gastroesophageal reflux (heartburn). These
temperature and free from excessive noise. Body
should be treated by your pediatrician.
temperature drops during sleep, and being too
warm can inhibit the ability to fall asleep. There- Once you have the basic foundation of good sleep
fore, I typically recommend keeping the room hygiene in place, you are ready to move on to some
on the slightly cooler side and dressing warmly focused behavioral therapies for specific problems.
instead of the opposite. However, children with
autism can have certain sensory preferences,
such as preferring more blankets or certain types “My child won’t fall asleep without
of clothing. It is important to cater to whatever me”
makes the child comfortable. Some parents have There are two main reasons for children only sleep-
found success using weighted blankets for chil- ing with parental presence. The first is anxiety,
dren with autism. They can provide an additional which can be quite prominent in children with au-
sense of security and sensory stimuli for children.
tism. Usually parents can see that the child is anx-
Keep in mind that a recent study in children with
ious at nighttime based on behavior. If your child is
autism did not show improvement in sleep with
excessively anxious, please consider evaluation by
a weighted blanket, yet children and parents still
your physician. For anxious children, the transition to
seem to prefer them. It is worth trying if you feel
sleeping independently should be a slow and steady
your child may benefit.
one. I usually recommend placing the child in his/her
4. Avoidance and Treatment of Sleep Disruptors: room after the routine, and then actually staying in
One major sleep disruptor is caffeine. Even morn- the room until the child falls asleep. Over time, par-
ing caffeine in the form of coffee, tea, soda, or ents should move further and further towards the
chocolate can disrupt nighttime sleep. As a rule, door of the room while the child falls asleep, with

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 7

BEHAVIORAL ADVICE

the goal of both decreasing nighttime anxiety and “My child wakes up too early”
encouraging the child to fall asleep independently.
This is one of the most challenging problems to treat.
The second reason for needing parents to fall asleep The first question is how the child behaves and feels
is due to sleep associations. Children quickly learn upon awakening. If the child is wide awake and func-
what is in their environment when they transition tions well throughout the day, chances are the child
from wake to sleep. They often become dependent simply has a decreased need for sleep and may not
on this aspect of their environment to fall asleep. For sleep more regardless of what you do. In this situ-
example, an adult who always goes to bed with the ation, if the child is waking at a time that is too ear-
fan on will have a hard time going to sleep without ly for the other members of the household, and the
it. In this example, the fan is an example of a sleep child is safe to play independently in the room, then
association. Similarly, a child who always goes to I recommend trying to have a visual cue that signals
bed with a parent present will learn this is the way the child when it is time to leave the room. A light
they fall asleep. If the parent then leaves prior to the on a timer typically works well. Children can then be
child falling asleep, they will protest until the parent taught to play independently in their room and leave
comes back. The parent is the sleep association. The once the light turns on. Alternatively, you can slowly
key is to teach the child to transition to sleep inde- move back the bedtime by 10 minutes each day in
pendently without any associations that will not be hopes the wake time also moves later, so long as this
present when they wake up. There are many meth- is more conducive to the family’s schedule.
ods to this, such as “graduated extinction” (leaving
However, if it is clear the child is capable of sleep-
the child in bed after the routine, but then return-
ing longer but just won’t remain in bed, the timed
ing at set intervals to help calm them) and “fading”
light can also work as a visual cue, in combination
(slowly distancing the parent from the child over the
with returning the child to bed consistently until
course of weeks to months in a gradual fashion). The
they fall back asleep. This can take many attempts
key is finding a method that is most comfortable for
(sometimes over 50!) on the first few nights. The key
you and your child.
is the consistent response from parents. Over time,
the child should learn that the response to leaving
“My child wakes up frequently at the bed too early will be exactly the same from par-
night” ents. This helps children learn to stay in bed until the
visual cue to leave is seen. Positive reinforcement for
Sleep associations are also a common reason for nights your child stays in the room can be helpful for
nighttime awakenings. All children wake up at night. some children. Having a chart on the door to track
It is a normal part of sleep. Children who have sleep which nights went well is a helpful tool.
associations will wake up and look for their associa-
tion. If they are accustomed to falling asleep with a IF YOU’VE DONE EVERYTHING IN REGARDS TO
parent, they will look for the parent. If they typically SLEEP HYGIENE AND TAUGHT YOUR CHILD TO FALL
fall asleep with an iPad, they will turn on the iPad. ASLEEP INDEPENDENTLY, BUT SLEEP IS STILL A MA-
Children who don’t have these associations are more JOR PROBLEM, TALK TO YOUR PEDIATRICIAN. YOU
likely to simply fall back to sleep after waking up in MAY NEED TO SEE A SLEEP SPECIALIST. THERE ARE
the middle of the night. Decreasing a child’s depen- A VARIETY OF SUPPLEMENTS AND MEDICATIONS
dence on parents to fall asleep may help the child (SUCH AS MELATONIN) THAT CAN ALSO HELP, BUT
sleep longer at night. ALWAYS TALK TO YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER
FIRST.
You can also add in positive sleep associations for the
child. For example, some children enjoy white noise
in the background while they fall asleep at night. Sujay Kansagra, M.D. is the author of the book “My
The sensory input from such a device can be calm- Child Won’t Sleep,” a step-by-step guide for parents
ing. Similarly, a favorite stuffed animal or blanket can that presents ALL of the scientifically-proven tech-
work just as well for children. These associations can niques to help children sleep. He is the director of
stay with the child the entire night, so may actually the Pediatric Neurology Sleep Medicine Program at
prevent long awakenings. Duke University in Durham, NC.

8 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

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BEHAVIORAL ADVICE

Dr. G ASPIE SHOW

Practical Tips for Combating Sleep
Problems with Asperger Kids
By Frank GASKILL, PhD

Frank Gaskill https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AnfbME4aYM&feature=youtu.be

I
n this episode of the Dr. G Aspie Show, host Dr. Frank
Frank W. Gaskill  is an American psy-
Gaskill interviews Southeast Psych’s Dr. Melissa Mill-
chologist and author who specializes
er, a Sleep Specialist, about why Aspies might be
in  Asperger syndrome, effective parent-
prone to sleep problems. Together they discuss bed-
ing, and how technology and children
time routines and anxieties and Miller provides some
can interface safely and successfully.
excellent nighttime tips that everyone can use to get
With David A. Verhaagen, Gaskill co-founded a private
some sleep.
psychology practice in Charlotte, NC called Southeast
Psychological Services. It later became known as South-
east Psych. Gaskill is the co-author, with Ryan Kelly of a
graphic novel about Aspergers. In addition to having a
comic based on Aspergers, he is also the host of an on-
line video series dedicated to promoting the idea that
Aspergers is a more highly evolved brain. This show is
called, “The Dr. G Aspie Show.” 

10 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

BEHAVIORAL TOOLS

Practicing Good Hygiene

and Self-Care for Life
By Angelina M., MS, BCBA, MFTI

When children are little it’s easy to just do things for them without even thinking.
Moms and dads go into auto-pilot mode and may not even realize how often they are
stepping in and caring for their child where the child may be able to care for him or
herself.

O
ne thing I always encourage my clients to do tomorrow, next year and the year after to help prepare
is think long-term. No matter how young your them for this transition?
child is…Think ahead! Always be thinking
about adulthood and how to get your child Below is a list of some basic self-care / hygiene skills we
there with as many skills as possible. The only as adults require to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
way a child will learn to do something for him- • Dressing
self is if he is required to do it for himself. Pro- • Toileting
viding opportunities for your child to perform a new skill • Teeth brushing
or even struggle with a new task is vital to developing • Bathing / Showering
their independence. Growing up is inevitable, so we • Washing face
must be mindful of the impact our choices today have in • Shaving
the years to come. There is no getting around it…some- • Menstrual care, for females
day your child will be an adult. What can you do today, • Hand washing

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 11

BEHAVIORAL TOOLS

What seems to be a simple list of a few skills is expo- Keeping in mind all that goes into one self-care skill will
nentially more complex when we break down what is help you know how to break it down for your child. Addi-
actually required for each task. Just think about getting tionally, considering your child’s age will help you know
dressed each day. Most of us just pick some clothes and what expectation to put on your child. For example: a
go, without real effort or contemplation. But for someone three-year-old may not effectively remove plaque from
who does not naturally understand all that’s involved in their teeth but they should be able to perform the basic
dressing you may need to teach various aspects of get- act of swiping a toothbrush across their teeth. As they
ting dressed. practice teeth brushing more and more you can gradu-
ally increase the expectation to better and more effec-
For example: tive brushing.
• Which direction clothes go (front versus back, One of the most effective ways we teach complex skills
inside out versus right side out) in behavior analysis is through the use of task-analyses.
• Which colors and patterns match and which A task analysis does exactly what it sounds like; it breaks
don’t (stripes and plaid? Yikes!) down a task and analyzes the steps. The number of steps
and the order of the steps may be different depending
• Which clothes are appropriate for different en-
on the person. For example, here are two different task
vironments (work uniform versus shorts and a
analyses for the same skill:
tank top versus a ball gown or tuxedo)
• Which clothes are appropriate for the weather
(T-shirts and sandals versus coats and scarves)
• Which clothes are in acceptable condition
and which are not (clean versus dirty, rips and
tears, too small versus too big)
• Which clothing is age appropriate (cartoon
character tee shirts, mini-skirts, etc.)

1. Go to the sink
2. Turn on the water
3. Wet both hands
4. Put right hand on top of soap
5. Put left hand under soap spout
6. Push soap
7. Scrub palms

12 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

BEHAVIORAL TOOLS

Lastly, it’s always best practice to choose one or two skills to teach
at a time. Trying to teach your child several new and complex skills
at once will be overwhelming (for both of you) and unsuccessful.

8. Scrub back of hands In addition to a task analysis, it often helps to use a re-
9. Scrub in between fingers ward system. This may be a sticker chart, token board,
or maybe just a checklist for older children. As they suc-
10. Rinse hands cessfully complete the steps of the task, reinforce their
11. Turn the water off behavior! Some examples might be: Doing all the steps
12. Get towel of showering earn 30 minutes of iPad or TV. Following
the steps of a potty routine earns a favorite snack or a
13. Dry palms bike ride. Find something you can be consistent with
14. Dry back of hands and make sure your child is actually motivated by the
15. Put towel back reward.

A few tips for making a task analysis:

Lastly, it’s always best practice to choose one or
• Watch What Your Child Does Naturally two skills to teach at a time. Trying to teach your
child several new and complex skills at once will
My team was teaching a child to tie his shoes be overwhelming (for both of you) and unsuc-
using the “2 Bunny Ear” approach for about cessful. Choose what’s most important and teach
two weeks with little success. We then noticed, that skill first. Also keep in mind that the steps
when left to his own devices, this child natu- you come up with might change. That’s okay! Be
rally used the “1 loop” method. There we were flexible and patient. You can do this! Most im-
trying to fix something that wasn’t broken! portantly, keep in mind that your child will be an
Learn from my mistake: Don’t teach a new way adult someday. Get them there with as many in-
of doing something when the child already has dependent skills as possible. The only way they
a perfectly functional way of doing it. will ever learn to do something for themselves is
• Use Steps That Make Sense For Your Child if they’re given the opportunity to practice it by
themselves. Best of luck!
If they need every little step broken down,
break it down. If they get the idea from a gen-
eral step and don’t need it broken down, don’t! Angelina M., MS, BCBA, MFTI, works as
• Tailor The Visual Aid For Their Needs a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, spe-
cializing in treating children and adoles-
You can use pictures, words, or a combination cents with autism, down-syndrome, and
of both. other developmental delays. She began
• Create A Sensible Order For The Steps, While her career in Applied Behavior Analysis
Keeping Flexibility In Mind in 2006, following her youngest brother’s autism diag-
nosis, and has since worked with dozens of children and
For many children it helps to repeat the steps families. She also writes a blog about her experienc-
of a task in the same order every day. But for es as  both a professional and a big sister. Her brother,
others, they may prefer to do steps out of order Dylan, remains her most powerful inspiration for help-
from time to time. Take showering for instance, ing others facing similar challenges.
does it really matter if they wash their arms or
Email: [email protected]
legs first? Let them do what they feel comfort-
able with, and as long as all the steps are ulti- Facebook: TheAutismOnion
mately done, the order may not matter. Blog: theautismonion.com

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 13

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Autism Parenting
Magazine
D
o you have a story to share? Perhaps you have in-
formation that would be helpful to other parents
with ASD kids and want to share the info. Why not
share your story/info with us? Autism Parenting
Magazine wants parents and caregivers to unite
to help each other. Our writing guidelines are simple.

Ideally, the topic needs to be relevant to the magazine.

Any topic that is related to parenting a child with au-
tism or being a person on the spectrum that is parent-
ing would be a relevant topic. Released on a monthly
basis, the magazine features the latest news, tips and
advice for parents of children with autism. With helpful
advice that covers subjects like: behavioral tips, sensory
processing issues, mitigating meltdowns, special edu-
cation needs and getting access to services, we are con-
fident that the magazine will become a must read for
parents of autistic children.

We do ask that you submit a topic, title or idea of the ar-

ticle to make sure that someone hasn’t already covered
the same thing by emailing the editor. You may use a
blog post that you have posted on your blog already.

THE ARTICLE SHOULD BE A MINIMUM OF 300 WORDS.

FONT DOES NOT MATTER. WE DO ASK THAT IF YOU
USE SOURCES TO PLEASE SITE YOUR SOURCES AT THE
END OF YOUR ARTICLE TO AVOID PLAGIARISM.

At the end of your article please include a few sentences

about yourself and your writing or autism related back-
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Please note that we cannot post your article with-

out a small bio. So please do not forget to send a few
sentences about yourself with your article.

If you have something interesting or informative to

share please email
[email protected].
4
BEHAVIORAL SKILLS

for Finding the

TIPS
Right Bedtime
Routine
By Sarah KUPFERSCHMIDT, MA, BCBA

Sleep is something that we all desperately need but it can be difficult to get enough
of it. A seven to twelve-year-old should be getting approximately 10 to 11 hours of
sleep every night.

U
nfortunately, there are many children that trip or lose his balance. If that wasn’t enough, there
are simply not getting anywhere near that is some evidence to suggest it has a negative impact
amount. In fact, it has been reported that on cognitive and academic performance. Although
approximately 35 percent to 50 percent of completely understandable that a child would be
children and 67 percent to 73 percent of more irritable if they were lacking a good night’s
children with autism have some problem sleep, it could lead to less frequent positive interac-
with getting the right amount of sleep. In tions with caregivers and/or teachers. Finally, if my
other words, many of our children are suffering from child is not sleeping, then I am probably not sleeping
sleep deprivation. all that well either. The mama bear in me wants to
do right by my children and I always try to set them
Now the ‘problem’ for each child is unique to each
up for success in everything that they may do. This is
child. For example, for one child it may be that they
very difficult to do when I am exhausted.
are taking a very long time to fall asleep, or that they
are doing everything other than sleep, they may I have personally experienced some of the more se-
be very restless in bed, cry for long periods of time, vere side effects of sleep deprivation, and as a moth-
call out for a parent incessantly or continuously get er of two young children, I know what it is like to
out of bed. For another it might be that they wake deal with the bedtime woes. If any of the situations
up several times in the middle of the night or early described above sound familiar to you, I am here to
morning and have a hard time falling back to sleep, tell you that there is hope. As a Board Certified Be-
if they even do at all! havior Analyst (BCBA), I look at sleep just as I would
look at any other behavior. I look at sleep as though
Not only can it be difficult to manage the bedtime
it is a skill that can be learned. This means that fall-
woes described above, they can also lead to things
ing asleep quickly can be learned, that waking up
that we as parents strive to avoid. Sleep depriva-
in the middle of the night and going back to sleep
tion in children may lead to problem behavior and
can be learned. Basically, any behavior you want to
increased irritability. It may also be a factor in the
see around the bedtime routine can be learned. This
frequency or severity of tantrums, aggression and
article will focus on tips and strategies that you can
non-compliance. A lack of sleep has also been shown
use to help set your child up for success in getting a
to increase a child’s risk of personal injury. I know for
good night’s sleep. Ultimately, a good night’s sleep
my own son if he has not had enough sleep we need
can help improve you and your child’s quality of life!
to be very vigilant on stairs as he is more likely to fall,

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 15

BEHAVIORAL SKILLS

scribed above. When deciding what your person-

al routine will look like make sure to factor in some
winding down time. The activities that are done just
before you get into the routine should be less stim-
ulating and more calming. I would probably not go
right into the bedtime routine if my child was just
outside running around in the backyard. Rather I
might have them come in and do a calming activi-
ty like sitting with a book or some relaxation with a
yoga exercise. I would also not announce it is time to
go to bed if they are playing with a highly preferred
item. It is not easy to transition from something that
he/she really enjoys to a less desirable routine like
going to bed. For example I would not ask my son
to put down the tablet or stop watching his favorite
show if it had just started to get ready for bed. Final-
Tip #1 Keep the bedroom cozy and ly I would also not provide snacks or drinks that have
calm any caffeine in them. You might be surprised by the
types of things that contain it so read labels for any
One of the ways we can help improve the odds of food or drink you and your child would be eating
getting a good night’s sleep is by creating a calm anytime from 3:00 PM. Being deliberate about the
and comfortable environment in which to sleep. timing and types of activities that are part of the rou-
This means that we should keep the activities in the tine can set you and your child up for success. You
bedroom, particularly on the bed to things that are
know your child and your family the best so you
calm. For example, I would not be playing any gross
would create a routine that is consistently used most
motor activities like jumping on the bed in there.
nights that reflects the types of things you do. In my
Keep the stimulating activities for another room,
house our bedtime routine looks something like this:
this means keeping the television and technology
out of this room as well. Also, our children’s favor- 7:15 PM Bath/shower time
ite toys should not be visible so as to distract them
from falling asleep. By keeping the favorite things 7:30 PM Floss teeth/brush teeth/clean ears
out of there, particularly those that produce light 7:50 PM Put on pajamas
(e.g., tablet, television) we are reducing some of the 8:00 PM Pick two books for us to read
things that compete with a child’s ability to go to
sleep. Not only do the items in the room need to be 8:20 PM Kiss and hug routine turn on turtle night
selected systematically, we also need to be deliber- light
ate about the atmosphere in other ways. For exam- 8:30 PM I say good night and I leave the room
ple, the temperature in the room should not be too
warm nor should it be too cold. Some experts say it This routine could be made into a visual schedule
should be a little on the cool side but not too cold. with visuals that depict each of the steps in the rou-
Keep the lighting indirect (e.g., small nightlight) and tine. It goes without saying that you would make a
make sure it is not too bright. I once worked with a schedule that is based on your personal preferences
child with autism that experienced more night awak- as a family.
enings right after we replaced the bulb in the night
light. The change in brightness was enough to affect
his ability to fall back to sleep.
Tip #3 Sleep dependencies
Experts suggest that sometimes our children have
sleep dependencies that affect his/her ability to get
Tip #2 Develop a consistent routine a proper rest. Sleep dependencies are essentially
A routine that is consistent is predictable, and this things in the environment that your child needs to
may help prevent some of the bedtime woes de- have in place to fall asleep. For example, this might

16 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

BEHAVIORAL SKILLS

be a soother for one child or it might be you rocking with this important skill there is hope and I wish you
them to sleep. If in the middle of the night they wake all the best in figuring it out!
up, which happens quite regularly for most, they
are unable to fall back to sleep if that thing/person Many of the tips and strategies discussed were
is not there. Experts suggest using things that are adapted from a variety of resources published by
readily available in your absence and can be there if leading experts in this area. Here is a list of the re-
you happen to be at a relative’s home or somewhere sources that were used.
else. Examples of things that might be good include:
Durand, V.M. (1999). Sleep Better! A guide to im-
blankets, pillows, or a stuffed animal. These can all
proving sleep for children with special needs. Balti-
be brought over to grandma’s house if he/she is ever
more MD: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co.
staying overnight there. For more information on
sleep dependencies please take a look at the refer- Friman, P.C., Hoff, K.E., Schnoes, C., Freeman, K.A.,
ences cited at the end of this article. Woods D.W., & Blum, N. (1999). The bedtime pass: An
approach to bedtime crying and leaving the room.
Archives of Paediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 153,
Tip #4 Bedtime pass 1027-1029. doi: 10.1001/archpedi. 153.10.1027
If your child is getting out of bed a lot at bedtime or
calling out to you and asking for a number of things, Jin, C.S., Hanley, G.P., Beaulieu, L. (2013). An individ-
for example, they might say “I want a drink” and then ualized and comprehensive approach to treating
once they go back to bed from getting a drink they sleep problems in young children. Journal of Ap-
say “I want a hug” and follow that up with another plied Behaviour Analysis, 46, 161-180.
and then another request, your family might be a
good candidate for the bedtime pass. This strategy
involves giving your child a bedtime pass, literally in Sarah Kupferschmidt has her
the form of pass card that they can use once after Masters in Psychology with a
you have followed the entire routine to ask for some- specialization in Applied Behav-
thing that they want. So instead of them asking for ior Analysis (ABA) and is a Board
3-5 things they can ask for one. In some instances Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA)
you might start out with 3 and gradually after a few who has worked with hundreds
nights reduce it to 2 then 1 pass. They can ask for you of children with autism and their
to bring them something or to leave his/her room for families since 1999.  She has clinically supervised and
as many times as they have pass. For more informa- trained hundreds of staff on how to implement treat-
tion on how to use this pass you can contact a local ment strategies that are based on Applied Behavior
BCBA or read the article listed below as a reference. Analysis (ABA), she conducts parent coaching and
The cool thing about the pass is that it appears that training in the form of workshops for families and
children really like this strategy as well. One other teachers on a variety of topics (e.g., safety skills, toi-
consideration with this strategy is that if you notice let training, language development, using technolo-
gy to teach, and challenging behavior) just to name
your child always asks for a drink after you finish the
a few. She is a Part-Time Professor and Co-Founder
routine you might want to include a small drink in
of Special Appucations, which is an mhealth compa-
your routine before or after the brushing teeth com-
ny that develops solutions for children with special
ponent.
needs using ABA to inform the instructional design. 
Sleep is critical for all of us. If you try the tips listed Sarah has appeared on Hamilton Life, CP24, CHCH
above and you are still having challenges then you news, the Scott Thompson radio show, The Bill Kelly
may wish to contact a local BCBA to help you as- radio show and on A Voice for All on Rogers TV and
sess the real reason behind the problem. Once they Mom Talk Radio.
have identified the reason they can help you devel-
Email: [email protected]
op an individualized plan that addresses the root of
Website: specialappucations.com
the problem. This can be quite complex, however a
Facebook: Special Appucations
BCBA is well equipped to help you get to the root of
Blog:http://www.specialappucations.com/blog/
the problem. If you and your family are struggling

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 17

DESIGNING SPACE

Excellent Ways to Create a

PEACEFUL AND CALMING
BEDROOM SPACE
By Carolyn FEDER, TBAE TAID

Phones, television, computers, wires galore.

Sound effects, flashing lights.
Here they come, hit the floor!
Sensory Overload Is The Malady Of Modernity
There is no question that the over-stimulation of our senses
is out of control and has become a huge cause of stress and anxiety.
Some of us can work around it and others can’t possibly begin to filter it.
Everyone has been forced to be a multitasker, whether we can handle ‘it’ or not.
This sensory assault creates a vicious cycle of external affecting internal chaos.
Chaos  Visual Noise  Sensory Overload  Stress  Anxiety  Chaos
The manifestation of Internal Chaos can surface as hyperactivity, anger,
depression, lack of sleep, physical pain and many other symptoms
often overlooked or misinterpreted.
This article is relevant to all of us ~ children and adults.
We are all affected, we are all
On the Spectrum

Carolyn Feder is a Licensed Interior Designer and the founder of Sensory Interior Design. For years
she has successfully helped families with children on the spectrum create colorfully pleasing and
relaxing spaces combining her experience in the interior design industry along with psychology
and synaethesia. Feder believes a holistic approach can transform a ‘hostile’ space into a healthy
environment. We asked Feder to share her advice regarding the best ways to create a peaceful
and calming bedroom space while taking in consideration the needs of a child on the spectrum.

18 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

DESIGNING SPACE

Q. What do you think is the biggest mistake made so many different options and architectural factors
when attempting to design a room for a child on to consider when choosing window coverings that
the spectrum? it’s best to discuss them individually with each client.
The biggest mistake is thinking that designing a Dimmer switches are great soothing mechanisms for
healthy bedroom for a sensory child has to be ex- any age and when it comes to light bulbs. My favor-
pensive. That’s really not the case if it’s done cor- ite type of light is natural sunlight and when that’s
rectly from the start. Parents are overwhelmed with not available, the closest to it are incandescent bulbs
many decisions that revolve around the care of marked as SoI White, Daylight, Reveal or Full Spec-
their child. Spending money without a plan and the trum as well as LED’s. On the flip side, I have very
proper guidance in an attempt to make things bet- strong and well-founded opinions about fluorescent
ter can have undesired results as does thinking that bulbs, whether in tube form or the new spirals which
the ‘look’ of a child’s bedroom is secondary to more contain dangerous levels of mercury. They distort
pressing needs. natural colors, buzz and strobe at very high frequen-
Our design firm doesn’t believe in following trends cies. As they lose power, the strobing lessens and
nor do we design children’s rooms around fashion they flash like a camera which can create tiny injuries
statements that are meant for adults. We handle ev- to the brain that are conducive to headaches, mi-
ery project with great thought and present our find- graines, seizures and more. Fluorescent bulbs should
ings as a prescription towards the child’s comfort and not be in circulation at all, but until then I will inform
well being. The space a child awakens to and drifts and prevent everyone I know from using them, espe-
off to sleep at night should be calm, safe and always cially anyone on the spectrum.
welcoming. A place of peace and sensory replenish-
ment, never a place of discomfort or isolation. Q. What is your opinion on electronics in a bed-
room?
Q. Which colors are most conducive to relaxation White noise machines and projected images on walls
for a child on the spectrum and why? or ceilings are soothing, so our design firm is very
Colors affect our mood, how we process information, supportive of them and encourage their use to help
how we function and perform tasks. Reds, oranges, induce relaxation and eventual sleep. As opposed to
yellows and white are overstimulating and can be computers, loud games and their many wires should
highly disturbing, whereas blues, greens, purples, be removed from bedrooms of all children and
browns and black are soothing and comforting. We adults. Electronic devices are addictive, stimulating
educate parents, family members and caregivers to and disturbingly hypnotic.
not only be aware of the colors that surround the
children, but also what people wear around sensory Q. What about bedding, do you have suggestions
kids of all ages. for parents to make things more comfortable for
children at bedtime?
I know of a case where a loving aunt visited her neph-
I recently spoke to someone who was concerned
ew on a regular basis. The family wondered why he’d
that her very active boys were
be so happy to see her sometimes and other times
he’d turn away from her and cover his eyes. Did I not sleeping through the night. She was stunned that
mention she enjoyed wearing white clothes and my first question was about the color of their room
bright red lipstick? Many children on the spectrum and bedding. The answer didn’t come as a complete
have a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep surprise.
due to their high sensitivity to stimulation that oth-
ers are able to filter out. Colors are as disruptive as The room was white with red sheets and plaid com-
sound, scent, texture, etc.. forters. Even the finest cotton with the highest thread
count couldn’t possibly override the problem they
Q. Do you find lighting is an important element in had inadvertently created. Soft sheets and soft col-
creating a comfortable space? ors go hand in hand, comforters in solid colors with
a themed pillow is more than sufficient for a child’s
Absolutely, lighting is high on my list and filtering
room. Whether lights are off or on, colors and pat-
light by various means is recommended. There are

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 19

DESIGNING SPACE

terns emit vibrations which affect brain waves in a with tops prevent spillover which also contributes
positive or negative fashion. towards creating a ‘visually quiet’ room.
My firm recommends placing one picture per wall, Q. How do you recommend parents divide the space
related in theme for a tranquil feeling instead of fill- in a bedroom?
ing it with visual clutter. We prefer to have natural
landscapes, abstracts with soft curves and spirals If the room isn’t large enough to divide into stations,
versus straight lines and angles. Weight-like tex- all attention needs to be placed on the room’s prima-
ture may be calming to some and very upsetting ry function which is relaxation and sleep. If the room
to others. Therefore, weighted blankets have to be is large enough for stations, our categories are easy
prescribed by a professional supervising sensory in- to remember SPEL : Sleep, Play, Enjoy, Learn.
tegration needs not to be confused with sensory en-
We worked with someone in a home where the child
vironmental needs.
wasn’t sleeping because the bed was against a large
Labeled covered storage with non see through con- window that had plastic vertical blinds that didn’t
tainers are easy to maintain. They are best kept in work, were always partially opened and made noise
closets or on shelves. Non-see-through containers when brushed against. The only full wall had a desk

SENSORY BALANCED
BEDROOMS :
Multipurpose areas with
various work stations are an
excellent use of space.

Our specialized assess- Sensory ~ PLEASE DO! Sensory ~ PLEASE DON’T

ments determine what’s
best as you wake and the • Do maximize natural light • Don’t install fluorescent lights
last thing to experience at • Do introduce fresh plants • Don’t use artificial air fresheners
night. • Do use natural schemes • Don’t introduce acid bright colors

Enjoy spending time with Moth-

er Nature, her gifts to us are
priceless. Body rhythms relax
and function at their optimum
by responding to the sensory
markers programmed within all
of us. The benefits include low-
ering blood pressure and reg-
ulating brain waves. The sun-
shine, fresh air, flowing water,
colors and textures are infinite
sources of beautiful inspiration.

20 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

DESIGNING SPACE

and a dresser that no one used; the bed got moved they are being used. Electrical cords and area rugs
and the extra furniture will be donated. Beds should are serious tripping hazards for everyone. A couple
be furthest from windows and placed against a full of little known sensory offenders are dryer sheets
wall, never against windows or a doors. We encour- and air fresheners of all types, they are filled with
age the Play, Enjoy and Learn stations be by a win- hazardous chemicals.
dow if at all possible to receive all the nutrients that
come from natural sunlight. I once entered a business with a Zen concept and
lost my vision momentarily because the mixture of
Q. What type of flooring would you recommend ‘relaxing’ essential oils was much too strong. Scents
and why? should only come from fresh plants, flowers and fruits
This is an important category to test by getting a within the home. Opening windows to clean the air
child’s input for positive responses or negative re- is highly recommended as long as children are not in
actions. Practicality and sound absorption are very the immediate area to prevent any accident.
important factors to consider for these special cli-
Q. If parents are on a tight budget, what would you
ents who deserve the most sensory friendly spaces
recommend they focus on most when putting to-
possible. If they prefer slick, smooth surfaces, then
gether a room?
natural wood is an excellent option. Avoid laminate
floors that look like wood, they make a lot of noise. Excess and clutter create anxiety, therefore, discard-
There are vast selections of vinyl planks that look ing and donating while organizing is the hardest and
very much like real wood, they are softer and warm- the most rewarding experience. Sensory Interior De-
er to walk and play on, easy to maintain and offer sign projects are all about removing and rearrang-
somewhat better sound absorption than laminate. ing things not bringing more in. Our organizational
Should the child prefer soft snuggly textures, car- systems have to be logical and comfortable for the
pet is better, barring allergies to certain fibers. Car- end user, otherwise things don’t get put away and
pet tiles work well because they are easy to install the clutter will continue to accumulate. Many an oc-
and replace. Patterned selections or checkerboard casion, I have redone what ‘conventional’ organizers
effects are absolutely out of the question because devise for a client because the standard formula is
they create tremendous anxiety. Why ? Because chil- incongruent with how the homeowner thinks.
dren perceive the color changes as holes they can
Space Organization = Sensory Balance.
fall into. Porcelain tile offers zero sound absorption,
though practical to care for, it’s cold to the touch and Sensory Interior Design’s consultations are afford-
very hard in case of falls. able and key to making healthy decisions and practi-
cal purchases the first time around.
Q. If you were designing a room for a child with au-
tism from scratch, what type of furniture would you Carolyn Feder is a Texas Licensed Interior Designer,
recommend? fluent in both English and Spanish. She can commu-
My preference is always wood. If the natural grain nicate effectively with clients and collaborators in
shows through, I would select one that doesn’t have both languages. In home consultations within Dal-
a high gloss nor that it have red, yellow or orange un- las are available as well as virtual long distance com-
dertones, preferably neutrals to grey or dark brown. munication. Sensory Interior Design received Best of
If painted, espresso, charcoal or black are our top fa- Houzz 2014 & 2015 and Carolyn is affiliated with the
vorites. Texas Board of Architectural Examiners (TBAE) and
Texas Association of Interior Design (TAID). Her ser-
Q. Do you have any safety suggestions for parents vices include: interior design, consulting, staging,
when designing a room? organizing, remodeling, refurbishing and so much
Wood elements with rounded corners are safe and more.
feel good to the touch. Select blinds and shades that
Sensory Interior Design
can be ordered with safety cord features. Avoid glass,
(972) 965-2674
metal and be aware of sharp corners at low levels.
Website: sensoryinteriordesign.com
Cover any unused electrical outlets and avoid having
Email: [email protected]
lamps with exposed cords plugged far from where

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 21

PERSONAL ACCOUNT

The Calming Effects of

ESSENTIAL OILS
By Courtney BARNUM

More and more we are hearing about essential oils and the benefits of using them.
Some time ago, I remember reading a thread in a private autism parents group.

22 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

PERSONAL ACCOUNT

T
he gist was divided; half were for essential
oils, half thought it was just another waste of
time. Some parents even had the misconcep-
tion that people were touting essential oils can
“cure” autism.
Let me start by saying, I don’t seek a cure for my
son, or for myself for that matter. That being said,
autism can make life hard. So just as we have our
children in therapies to help them succeed, why not
try a natural oil that could help them in other ways? I
mulled essential oils over for some time. After that success, I did more research. I suffer from
I wasn’t sure what to think. Part of me wanted to be- Fibromyalgia and many other chronic illnesses. I
lieve that they worked. I mean after all, what did our also have a very compromised immune system. So
forefathers use for ailments and such way back in the I looked up pain relief, cold and flu relief, and also
day? So I started to do some research. anti depressant oils for my son. Again, I went to work
blending, trying them out, tweaking my recipes.
First and foremost, I started by researching what it
We now have blends for anxiety/hyperactivity, de-
was I wanted to use them for. The top of my priori-
pression, pain relief, headache, cold flu (really clears
ty list was my son’s anxiety. He is autistic as well as
the sinuses), a bedtime spray, and the list goes on.
having Bipolar disorder, so anxiety runs rampant in
him. I went through MANY sites, took notes, and This family now relies on essential oils first and fore-
compared answers. What I found was great. most. Liam has eczema, so I also use EO’s to make
him lotion. This is not to say we don’t take prescrip-
Basically, there are two main EO providers that sell tion meds, because we certainly do. However, pre-
pre-made blends for different things. They are NOT scriptions are our last resort. As with anything, what
cheap. We live on a SUPER fixed income, so this was works for some, may not work for all. I do know other
not an option for us. I then went back to my notes, mothers that use oil blends on their autistic children,
and saw that most all of the sites were on the same and they too, swear by how much they help. After all,
page, as to which oil helps what. They also stress mak- isn’t that what we’re after? Helping our children to
ing sure you get your oils from a reputable person so the best of our abilities?
that you are sure to get 100% pure oils. You also can’t
apply these oils on your skin without a carrier oil, as I started an Etsy store to sell my blends to families of
many of them are strong enough to irritate your skin. autistics at a more affordable price. You can also head
I placed an order for EO’s, roller bottles, and went to to Google and type in ‘essential oils,’ and do some re-
the grocery store for my carrier oil. Then I became a search. I am here to say that it has definitely been
“mad scientist” as my son says. worth my time and effort, and each time we use one
of my blends, I feel a sense of pride that weare trying
As soon as my oils came in, I set to work making an to live a more holistic lifestyle.
anxiety blend. I mixed it all up and put it in a nice
If you would like more information, you can find me
roller bottle so we could apply it to my son’s wrists
daily at A Legion for Liam on Facebook.
and the base of his neck. At first I didn’t notice a lot of
difference. So I tweaked my recipe and tried again. It
helped. It really, honest-to-goodness, helped. Did it Courtney Barnum is a stay at home and
take his anxiety away completely? No. But it helped. home schooling mom. Her son Liam, is
Enough that when we are going someplace that will autistic with Bipolar Disorder, as well as
be overwhelming to him, he will ask for his “Peaceful an alphabet soup of other diagnoses. In
Child.” I homeschool my son and I apply it before we her spare time, Courtney writes, runs a
local autism support group, as well as
start lessons. It helps calm him, it doesn’t just sup-
an autism support/blog page on Face-
press his anxiety. The best thing is I can apply it many
book.
times throughout the day.

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 23

PERSONAL GUIDANCE FOR PARENTS

SHED THE STRESS:

Seven Ways To “Spring Clean” Your Life
By Deanna PICON

The time for spring cleaning is finally here, and while you’re spending time de-clutter-
ing and clearing away the cobwebs in your house, you may find that it’s time to give
your life a little spring cleaning, too.

W
ith all the pressures of work, a home, This may be one of the hardest things you’ll have
and a special needs child, you might to do because you feel like your child should be the
feel that your life has become more of priority. But you have to do it, not for yourself, but
a jumble of responsibilities and tasks for your child. Look at this as an “investment” in your
than anything else. You’re bogged child’s future. Putting time toward your well-being
down, stressed-out, and overworked, now will pay big dividends as your child gets older.
but with a few simple tweaks you can
improve and reenergize your life and get it back on You need to take care of yourself, both emotionally
track. All you have to do is follow these seven easy and physically. That means trying to get at least six
steps: hours of sleep a night, eating properly and getting
some exercise in. After all, if you don’t take care of
yourself, who will?
STEP ONE:
Make Yourself A Priority STEP TWO:
Taking care of all the facets of your child’s daily living Manage Your Health
— medical, personal, and everything in between —
means that your own life is on the back burner more You don’t have to join an expensive diet plan or pay
often than not, but all that is about to change. It’s for a gym membership. In fact, all you need is a pair
essential that you add yourself into the mix. of sneakers, the Internet, or a library card.

24 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

PERSONAL GUIDANCE FOR PARENTS

There is plenty of free information on healthy eating Personal time doesn’t just have to be reserved for
on the Internet. Exercise DVDs are great to use at when you’re out of your house. You can also take a
home and may be available at no cost by borrowing mini “escape” break at home. Put it down on your
them from your local public library. Dancing at home calendar just like your child’s therapist or medical
to your favorite music can give you a great workout, appointment, because it’s just as important. It can
while working off stress at the same time. The point be as little as 30 minutes; just make sure everyone
is to just get moving. in your home knows it’s there and you aren’t to be
disturbed.
If that’s too much strain, consider taking up walk-
ing. A walk to the park, around the neighborhood Let your spouse or possibly an older sibling watch
or even a few floors of a shopping mall is just fine. A your special needs child. Go to your bedroom or
30-minute walk, three times a week, is not only ex- another room and simply close the door and tune
cellent for your heart; regular fresh air and exercise everyone out for a while. Read a favorite magazine,
also benefits your mental health and the Spring is a watch TV or speak with a good friend. Having an
great time to begin your exercise program. It’s also engaging conversation is one of the easiest ways to
a great way to clear your mind and put things in unwind – whether you’re venting, laughing, or just
perspective. Maybe even consider bringing along a catching up.
buddy for some extra motivation and accountabil-
ity.
STEP FOUR:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
STEP THREE: It’s not easy raising a special needs child. There may
Schedule Some “Me” Time be times when you feel sad, depressed or even re-
This is different than stepping out of the room to sentful or jealous of others. The first thing to remem-
take a quick shower or those 10 minutes you use to ber is that these feelings are perfectly normal. You
read before bed. “Me” time is set-aside specifically didn’t plan on having a child with special needs. No-
for you and it’s something you can look forward to body does. So, it’s okay to have these thoughts and
all week long. feelings on occasion. This doesn’t make you a bad
person or a bad parent – it just means you’re human.
Ask someone you trust to look after your child so
you can have a few hours to yourself. Whether you Writing down your thoughts in a journal or notebook
use your well-deserved break to meet with friends or is also a good way to take away your stress. Keeping
simply spend some time alone is completely up to track of your feelings can help relieve some of the
you. The important part is that you can relax. pressure.

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 25

PERSONAL GUIDANCE FOR PARENTS

STEP FIVE:
Take A Time-out
We all have bad days, and whether it involved work,
parenting, or the everyday pressures of life, the world
can become an overwhelming place at the drop of a
hat.
In times like these, it’s okay to step back and take a
moment. A nice, hot bath or shower with your favor-
ite soap can do wonders. Or, if you’d rather, pour a
cold beer and sit back for the big game. Sleep late
on a weekend and don’t set your alarm clock.
These little changes in your everyday life can, over STEP SEVEN:
time, make an incredible difference both in your Reward Yourself
overall mood and your sense of well-being.
Recognize and reward yourself for being the great
parent that you are. Day in and day out, you’re tak-
STEP SIX: ing care of your special needs child. Thanks to you,
Get Out and Have Fun they are healthy and properly educated. Because of
you, your child’s needs are being met with consider-
Spring is a perfect time to go outside after being
ation and love.
stuck indoors for the winter. Go to the park or a base-
ball game. Have a picnic. Start a new hobby. Plant Because of all you do, make sure to do something
a garden and watch the flowers bloom. Just enjoy nice for yourself each week, no matter how small.
nature. Buy yourself something you’ve been wanting. Take
yourself out to eat.
Whatever you do, make sure that you’re not doing it
all by yourself. Get together with friends and family. Whatever you do, it comes down to having a healthy
Spending time with those you love is good for any respect for yourself and the circumstances you are
person, and not only will it help you to relieve stress, handling. Give yourself the credit, and the reward
it will also help the bonds with family and friends that you deserve.
grow stronger, deeper, and longer.

Start now!
Now you have the broom at hand, but the only one
who can clean the cobwebs in your life is you. Be-
gin small, one step at a time. Before long, you won’t
know why you didn’t change your habits sooner.
And not only will you be on the road to living your
best life possible, but your child will be too. So what
are you waiting for? It’s time to start sweeping!

Deanna Picon is founder of Your Autism Coach, LLC,

which provides personalized guidance, support and
seminars for parents of special needs children. She
is a parent of a non-verbal, young man with autism.
Deanna is the author of “The Autism Parents’ Guide
to Reclaiming Your Life,” which is available at www.
amazon.com. She can be reached through her web-
site at www.yourautismcoach.com.

26 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

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EVERYDAY PRODUCTS

Finding Well-Priced Big Kid

Diaper Protection that Fits
By Amy KD TOBIK

Six-year-old Alexander was diagnosed with moderate autism spectrum disorder (ASD) sev-
eral years ago. His parents have spent years attempting to potty train him, but he just isn’t
completely there yet. In fact, his parents thought several times he was potty trained and then
he regressed. Alexander’s parents are frustrated by the added stress of not reaching this mile-
stone and the added cost of large-sized pull-ups when their budget is already really tight.
What can they do to make life a little easier?

28 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

EVERYDAY PRODUCTS

M
aybe your child is like Alexander and is likely covered by a provision called Early and Pe-
needs a little extra time before he/she riodic Screening, Diagnosis, and Treatment (EPSDT).
is potty trained. Children on the spec- Every state plan is required to make certain services
trum are often slower to reach mile- available to all children from birth through age 21
stones, making it necessary to wear and this program ensures children not only receive
for diapers, pull-ups or youth pants for an extended a diagnosis, but appropriate treatment. This includes
number of years. medically necessary supplies and equipment, so if
a child is diagnosed with incontinence, this usually
includes diapers for children beginning at age three
Why Do Some ASD Children Take with a prescription from a doctor. If your state denies
Longer to Potty Train? your request for diapers for some reason, you can
There are myriad reasons children on the spectrum appeal the decision as they are required to comply
often remain in diapers, pull-ups and youth pants as indicated by 42 CFR section 440.70 under Home
longer than their neurotypical peers. Sometimes Health Services.  
it’s a developmental delay and the child is not able
Remember, the rules governing states differ, with
to recognize he/she has to go potty or maybe the
some states permitting coverage before three years
child doesn’t have the adequate skills to maneuver
old if there is a medical diagnosis while others make
clothing in time to use a toilet. Children with com-
families wait until a child is a bit older.
munication challenges are less likely to be able to
tell someone else he/she has to go to the bathroom. It’s also important to point out that states also vary in
Those children who take medication with sleepy side which diaper or pull-up brands they will cover with
effects may also find it difficult to wake up in time to some restricting coverage to only certain brands.
go to the bathroom. And children with severe au- Unfortunately, not all states will pay for pull-ups. Re-
tism often don’t have the cognitive and motor skills quest information from your particular state and talk
to use a toilet — making the task that much more to your child’s doctor and a Medicaid representative
difficult to master. to ensure you can make the most of on your options.
You may need to use the phrase, ‘disposable inconti-
It’s important to remember every child has different
nent supplies’ when researching or applying for as-
abilities and will develop at his/her own pace. Your
sistance.
child may need to use diapers or pull-ups for a lit-
tle bit longer than others. And once potty-trained,
sometimes some protection is still needed over- Private Insurance
night. With the costs averaging hundreds of dollars
Private insurance plans are not required to provide
per month, it’s important to find an excellent source
comprehensive benefits and many do not cover dia-
for well-priced diapers and pull-ups and perhaps
pers or other incontinence supplies. Some insurance
some financial assistance.
companies, however, will cover a portion or the full-
price of diapers, pull-ups and youth pants for chil-
How to I Find Financial dren with special needs because they are a necessity.
Assistance? It is worthwhile to find a vendor who will attempt
As you probably know by now, diapers and pull- to bill your private insurance, because you may be
ups are costly, especially when needed long- surprised to find the supplies approved. There have
term. First, talk to your child’s doctor about your been incidences where a private insurance company
options as a great number of children on the has sent out a denial letter stating the policy did not
spectrum qualify for some financial assistance cover incontinence supplies and then when the in-
for medically-needed supplies and equipment. surance company was billed for the supplies under
standard medical supply codes, the bills were paid.
It’s important to keep your receipts because you may
Medicaid need to pay for diapers and/or pull-ups upfront and
If your child is eligible and enrolled in publically-fi- then be reimbursed from your insurance company.
nanced medical services such as Medicaid, he/she Most companies require a letter from the doctor ex-

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 29

EVERYDAY PRODUCTS

plaining the requirement as well as a prescription for protection as they are often too big for many typical
disposable incontinent supplies. Always call your baby diapers but then still too small for adult-sized
insurance company to check what they specifically protection. It may be worth checking out the cost
require. and quality of store/pharmacy-brand products. Here
are several name-brand products parents of children
on the spectrum have used with success. Some web-
A Buying Guide to Finding Large sites offer excellent discounts and even free shipping
Diapers, Pull-Ups and Youth Pants on bulk orders so be sure to do a little research.
It can be a challenge finding diapers, pull-ups and
youth pants for older children as they aren’t typically Cuties®
stocked in your local grocery or big box store. Once
your child graduates to “big sizes” (over size 6), you • Up to size 6 - 35+ lbs
may need to use a medical supply store or an on- • Cottony soft outer cover
line medical supply retailer to special order diapers. • Soft stretchable waist and side panels
In addition to using the words ‘large diapers’ in your • Excellent leakage protection
search, try adding the word ‘incontinence.” Many
• Hypoallergenic - extra soft inner liner with or-
companies don’t use the word ‘diaper’ once a certain
ganic botanicals, vitamin E and aloe
size is reaches and they are commonly referred to as
‘pull-ups’ or ‘youth pants.’
Seventh GenerationTM Diapers

Medical Supply Retailers • Up to size 6 - 35+ lbs

You may find better prices on larger diapers, pull-ups • Premium absorbency
and youth pants through a medical supply retailer. • Totally free from chlorine processing
As previously stated, some insurance companies and • Hypoallergenic
Medicaid may require the diapers come from a spe- • Free of fragrance, inks and petroleum-based
cific retailer, so keep that in mind. lotions
• Snug, flexible fit
Here are a few medical supply retailers families
with children on the spectrum have recommend-
ed: Pampers Cruisers® Diapers

The Medical Supply Group • Up to size 7 - 41+ lbs

• 3-way fit adapts at the waist, legs, and bottom
http://www.medicalsupplygroup.com/c-888-
child-protective-underwear-pull-ups.aspx • Up to 12 hours of overnight protection with
some sizes
Discount Medical Supplies • 3 layers of absorbency versus only 2 in ordinary
http://www.discountmedicalsupplies.com/ diapers
store/incontinence/children-pull-ups-diapers.
html  Pampers UnderJams® Absorbent Nightwear
Cristia Medical Supply • Up to size L-XL - 58-85 lbs
http://www.cristiamedicalsupply.com/inconti- • Quiet, cloth-like material
nence-s/224.htm • Designed to be like underwear to let skin
breathe

Diapers, Youth Pants and Pull Ups Race Car Diapers for Big Kids and Teens
Highly-Rated by Parents
It can be a challenge to find those ‘in-between’ sizes • Up to 3X - 48-50 lbs
for children still in need of daytime and/or nighttime • Ideal for boys ages 8 to 18 years old

30 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34

EVERYDAY PRODUCTS

• Super stretchy sides fit many body shapes and

sizes

Prevail® Extra Absorbency Underwear

• Sizes Youth/Small Adult to Adult 2X Large -
Youth/Small Adult fits waist size 20”-34”
• Discreet absorbent protection
• Locks in moisture fast for added leakage pro-
tection and odor control
• Silky-soft outer fabric is softer and more com-
fortable
• Ventilated waist panels allows air to pass
through to reduce heat build-up and promote
healthy skin

• Super absorbent polymer  SAP  that locks in Curity® Youth Pants Night and Day (formerly called
wetness is used and extends outward as well Curity Sleep Pants)
as into the sides of the brief • Up to size XL - 85 to 125 pounds; absorbency:
• Along with the combination of elastic leg 15 oz.
gathers and leak guards, the Race Car Diaper • Ideal for youths who have outgrown toddler
provides the best protection one can find in a training pants or need heavier protection
youth disposable brief market today
• Feature a tear-away side seam on the waist-
band for quick and easy garment changes.
Attends® Youth Pull-Ups
• Sizes Youth/Small Adult to Adult XL - Youth/ Tranquility All Through the Night (ATNTM) Dispos-
Small Adult fits waist size 22”-36” - 80-125 lbs able Incontinence Brief
• Super absorbent polymer channel • Sizes Youth XS Youth fits waist size waist/hip
• Helps prevent odors size of 18”- 26” 
• Breathability with air flow material to keep skin • Highly absorbent
dry • High capacity for holding urine
• Discreet packaging • Guarantees skin dryness
• Neutralizes urine - inhibits bacterial growth
EZ SOX® Training Underwear • Capacity is 18.5 oz of urine in the youth size
• Up to size 4-5 years - 36-46 lbs • Cloth like backing
• Tag-free • Latex free
• Embroidered oval handles sewn into our super
soft wide waist band that allow for an easy grip FuzziBunz® (cloth reusable diapers)
• 95% Cotton, 5% Spandex
• Up to size L - 45+ lbs
• Placement of snaps allows for customizable fit
GoodNites® Underwear
• Best choice for ease of use with daycare and
• Up to size L/XL - 60-125 lbs. other care givers
• 40% more absorbent than training pants • Durable fabric makes for easy wash and wear
• Zoned protection for boys and girls • 1 year warranty

Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 34 | 31

Autism Parenting
Magazine
BACK
ISSUES

Autism Parenting
Issue 6 • April 2013

Magazine

Practical
home-based
tips for
MAnAging children on
the Autism
Anxiety in Spectrum
KidS

KidS CooPerAte- SoCiAl

SenSory Cognition therAPy
interview with Aaron Weintraub (director of Kids Cooperate) on
how he developed a social skills program for children with autism

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Autism Parenting
Issue 24 • October 2014

Magazine
CREATING A COHESIVE
HOUSEHOLD
TOP 8 PARENT TIPS
FOR SIBLINGS
HOW DOES THE
AFFORDABLE CARE
ACT BENEFIT MY
FAMILY?
10 INTERNET
SAFETY TIPS

LEAH’S VOICE
A CELEBRATION OF INCLUSION
AND ACCEPTANCE

Autism - A Family Perspective

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