"The horror show" Pt.

II
(title subject to change)
By

Jacob Hoefer

Inspired by all Horror films ever made.

2010 Lost Salamander [email protected]

Productions LTD.
EXT. HIGHWAY- DAY
The comic book pannel pulls a Pinocchio and becomes a real
scene. The car speeds down the long and empty highway. we
decide to see whats in the car and join the passengers on
their ill fated journey.

INT. CAR

There are six passengers: First we have JOHNNY. He sports a

thin, dark blue windbreaker, a plain white t-shirt and some
tight fitting blue jeans. He is driving with one hand and
using the other to hold on to his favorite passenger DANNA.
Danna is crammed up in the front three seats in the middle
next to Johnny. She is sporting a gray and red turtle neck,
and a dark blue and red over coat draped over her shoulders.
Her long, perfectly straight, brown hair is held back by a
red plastic headband. Sitting next to her is the lovable MAX
who sports a bright yellow windbreaker, white tee shirt, and
a backwards baseball cap. He holds his beer out the window
and has a slouched posture. In the back seat we have our
color characters. First, sitting behind Johnny, we have
CHRIS. Chris is a clean shaven African American teen. He has
a shaved head and sports a UofM "Golden Gophers" hoody. He
is completely focused on his arm candy EMILY. Emily is
clinging on and flirting with Chris. She has a pink hoody
with the hood up hiding her thick black hair. She is wearing
a couple of rings with smallish blue stones in them. Next to
her is the adorable DANIEL. Long time friend of Danna and
short time admirer of Johnny, he sports a white and pink
stripped polo and his dirty blond hair is combed back into a
weird greasy fifties thing. The pals are very excited for
there flawless plan to drive straight to Johnny’s uncle’s
cabin in the woods in northern Minnesota. Sounds like a safe
enough plan. Well just end the movie here.

INT. CAR
Just kidding. We join our new best friends in the car.
MAX
"Alright Portia De Rossi
and......Sam Neill."
No one else is paying attention. Johnny is half driving half
"Eskimo kissing" with Danna and Emily and Chris are enjoying
the privacy of the backseat. Daniel is bored and looks quite
disgusted with the surrounding PDA. Max on the other hand
could care less as he is more involved in letting the breeze
blow by his face. Amazingly his cap still stays on. He
slurps his beer.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

MAX
(looking around at the PDA)
"what no one? God...ya know not all
of us have our own personal make
out buddy."

DANIEL
"Amen. I can’t breath back here
with all the hormones floating
around."

EMILY
"Oh shut up Danny you can just give
Max the reach around."
Max suddenly looks back. Chris cracks up, as do Danna and
Johnny. Daniel takes the joke in stride. This is not the
first time Emily has suggested that he and Max get together.
DANIEL
"Please, I’m gay, not desperate."
MAX
"I still don’t know why you have
never hit on me....I mean not that
I would enjoy it its just ya
know.."
Everyone in the car is giving him a raised eyebrow half
smile look waiting his answer.
MAX
"Awwww fuck it you guys set me up
for that."

They all laugh a little and get on with their drive. Max
pipes up after a few seconds to try and make everyone forget
the dent to his sexuality he just created.
MAX
"Okay back down to business,
remember win six degrees you eat
free at the next stop. As the
winner last time I submit to you a
one miss Portia De Rossi aka
Lindsey Bluth and a one Mr. Sam
Neil aka the great doctor Alan
Grant."
He looks back at his friends only to see that they have
completely ignored him and have gone back to making out.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.

MAX
(mumbled through another few
swigs of beer)
"Jesus fuckin-....you guys are
fuckin unbeliv-...."

Daniel looks again at the displays of disinterest in the

game. Finally he throws his hands up and spews this
mouthful.
DANIEL
"Fine. I’ll humor you. Portia De
Rossi was in dead and breakfast
with David Carradine who was in
Absolute Evil, The final exit, with
Carolyn Neff, who was in Spider-man
three with, vomit, Topher Grace,
who was in Predators with Laurence
Fishburne, who was in Event horizon
with...the good Dr. William Wier
better known as Sam Neil."
No one is impressed.Chris chips into the conversation.

CHRIS
"Jesus man, you are officially a
walking IMDB."
DANIEL
"Look while the rest of you were
chasing girls I got stuck alone,
surfing chat rooms trying to find a
guy who liked me for me and WASN’T
a child molester. A bunch of pop
culture knowledge was a good way to
weed out the old people."
JOHNNY
"Ether way he’s in the lead and
we’re coming up on the last town
for a long time. We’re stopping,
absorbing local color and gasin’
up. Which means Danny eats for free
this time."
Again no one seems to care not even Daniel or Max. The car
rockets down the empty highway. We pan up and see a worn out
sign that says "Cross Lake Tower 36 Miles."
4.

EXT. GAS STATION - SUNSET.

We pan across an old rusty gas pump. The price is slowly
climbing. We slowly zoom out and see the top of the car
hazily come into view before our field of vision a six pack
of beer is slammed into frame. Max is the purchaser of such
fine liquors. He wastes no time in sampling his newly
purchased thirst quenchers. Chris is sitting on the trunk
lid with Emily still attached to his arms. Daniel is leaning
up against the gas pump smoking. Max cracks his beer open
and hops on the hood turning his attention toward Daniel.

MAX
"Dude, not healthy."
Daniel looks over and tilts his head slightly.

DANIEL
"What?"
MAX
"Smoking next to the gas pump. I
would like to get to the cabin in
one piece."
DANIEL
"Oh I’d be more worried if I were
smoking next to you."

MAX
(After a pause to swallow his
beer)
"What?"
DANIEL
"You got more alcohol content than
this tin can here."
MAX
(another swig)
"Again, What?"
DANIEL
"You’ve been drinking ever since
this trip started. Also this place
is out of gas."

He points to the counter on the pump. we look and see that

it has stopped counting at only 2.83 gallons.
MAX
(uninterested)
"Uh-huh."

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

He is looking at Emily and Chris who are giggling and being

all sorts of flirty with each other. Daniel notices his
fascination with their playful nose touching.
DANIEL
"Why did you ever fall for her?"
MAX
"Fall for who? Chris? Nah he’s not
my type...Tooooo....whats the
word?...Smooth...He’s got like baby
skin, I like my men rough and worn.
Like leather an-"
DANIEL
"Oh you’re fuckin’ hilarious you
know that? But alright, fine, bring
up my sexuality in place of talking
about your sick clingy issues. I’m
going to go get Johnny tell him not
to worry about driving the next leg
of the trip."

Max has not really heard a word of anything said he just

sits on the hood and watches Chris and Emily. Daniel
snatches a beer and walks off stamping out his cigarette on
his way into the store. We take another look at the bubbly
couple and then look back at Max. He sighs and takes another
huge gulp of beer. We join Danny boy in his hunt for Johnny.

INT. GAS STATION - SUNSET

Daniel strides into the store to find Johnny and Danna
arguing with the clerk at the counter. The Clerk is scruffy
and dirty and just overall hillbillyish. We jump in mid
conversation.
JOHNNY
"So you’re completely out of gas."

CLERK
"Yep. Not a drop left."
DANNA
"This is ridiculous what are we
supposed to do?!"
CLERK
"Well I don’t know you young folks
could stay here until the gas truck
gets here."

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.

DANNA
"Which will be...?!"
CLERK
"Ohhh.. I dunno maybe Tuesday."

Daniel takes a break form sipping beer and browsing the old
sports mags on the rack and makes an observation.
DANIEL
"Tuesday?! That’s four days from
now!"
CLERK
"Well that’s just when it gets
here. No one really stops by, I
only usually have to order it once
a month."
DANNA
"This is insane!"
JOHNNY
"Calm down Danna, we’ll just stick
it out in a local cabin or
something. Sir do you know of a
place we can stay? At least until
we find a way to get some gas or
something."

CLERK
"Well I do know of one place. I
don’t know if its still open
though."

DANIEL
(pushing his way to the front
of the counter)
"Perfect, great, awesome, where?"

CLERK
"About Twenty minuets form here.
Place called Cross lake tower.
Owned by some rich jerk. He comes
down here every once and while
claiming that he had big important
mettins down in the twin cities.
Always askin me to send travelers
to his place. Or at least he used
to. Haven’t seen him in, oh, I’d
say about ten years. But his place
is still there you can spot teh
sins from the highway. Now I’ve
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

CLERK (cont’d)
never been myself but it sounds
like a shit hole if you ask me."
DANIEL
(half mumbled)
"Can’t be any worse than this
place."
DANNA
"Whatever, thanks....Lets go
Johnny."
Danna starts to leave and Daniel fallows. Johnny looks at
Dana and takes one step toward the door, then quickly turns
back to the Clerk. He is still a gentlemen after all.

JOHNNY
"Uhhhh....Here."
He quickly throws some money on the table.
JOHNNY
"uhh...Keep the
change...uhhh...Thanks, and sorry
about her, she uh, gets angry with
the driving, and the car really
doesn’t have air conditioning,
uhhh, yeah, thanks..."
He quickly walks out the door chasing down Danna. We join
the gang outside the station. Danna and Daniel are already
informing the gang of the plan when Johnny and us catch up
to them.

DANNA
"...And so now we have to drive up
to some bullshit town to some
bullshit motel that might not even
be open."

EMILY
"Yeah but for rooms, like whats the
plan there?"
MAX
(hopping off the hood)
"Mmmmm I got it. One room one giant
bed, group sex party. It’ll be
great. Everyone wins, especially
Danny."

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.

DANIEL
"I’m gay, NOT that kinky. I can’t
belive I’m explaining this to you
AGAIN."

Max shrugs and goes on drinking, Chris chuckles, emily is

not amused and scowels in the direction of Max. Johnny,
being the responsible one, gets everyone back on track.
JOHNNY
"Max shutup, we’ll just pick our
roomates when we get there,
splitting the cost with our
roomies. Sound good?"
MAX
"Ohohohoh can I room with you?! You
owe me like a dozen sleep overs."
JOHNNY
"Max, I was eight, I lost a bet
we’ve moved on."

Johnny looks up at the sky, pulls out his keys and heads for
the car.
JOHNNY
"Anyway, lets get moving. Everyone
grab a beer except Max."

Max looks like he is about to object when Johnny snatches

his beer from his hand and opens the door as the gang piles
in.

EXT. HIGHWAY- NIGHT

The car speeds down the highway and we join them again in
the cab of the auto mobile.

INT. CAR
All of our passengers are asleep except Danna and Johnny.
Danna is snuggling close to Johnny and Johnny returns the
affection with his free hand in the form of a classic boy
friend hug. Danna is enjoying herself a lot.
DANNA
"So johnny looking forward to our
private night in our fabulously
shitty small town motel room?"

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

JOHNNY
"Ohh you know it."
He gives her a smooch on the top of her head. And she
snuggles closer to him.

JOHNNY
"Have you ever been up to the cabin
before?"
DANNA
"No. Why?"
JOHNNY
"Well I don’t want you to get to
excited I mean it’s kind of cramped
and...well the walls are thin and
the rooms are small and close
together"
DANNA
"Why do you mention the paper thin
walls?"

JOHNNY
"Just something that I noticed
one...summer...when I went there
way back...with my parents...for
their anniversary.."

Danna starts to laugh as does Johnny but they start to quiet

themselves as to try and not wake their friends. Johnny
leans in for a kiss as the laughter dies down. They slowly
move in for a kiss and the camera starts to frame it so it
starts to look like the vase or two faces thing. They get
closer and closer and finally...CRASH! SMASH! And
SCREEEECCCHHHH! They just hit someone...Their guests wake up
in a version of "I know what you did last summer". But not
the one with the Buffy the vampire slayer.