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ALIENATED
By

G.J.S.

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[email protected]
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Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you !
! and I especially, are descended from immigrants and !
! revolutionists. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
FADE IN:

INT. ROSWELL POLICE STATION - HALLWAY - MIDDAY

Two detective stand in front a windowless doorway: NEIL

KOWALSKY (age 42, fat) with his hands on his belt, and his
partner DARREN BROWN (age 32, thin, freshly groomed).

DARREN BROWN
Neil

Neil is transfixed by the door, like a soldier ready for

battle.

DARREN BROWN
Before we go in, I want you to know that
no matter how badly we want this guy to be
our guy, we dont know. So dont push him
too hard, alright? I know how you get. You
drink your coffee today?

NEIL KOWALSKY
You wouldnt let me.

DARREN BROWN
Good.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Well before we go in, I want you to know
something. If you you tell anybody what
happened at lunch today

DARREN BROWN
Lets focus on the future, not the past

NEIL KOWALSKY
Im not done

DARREN BROWN
Neil, I know you better than I know my
wife, ok? I promise, no one will ever know
that the great Neil Kowal

NEIL KOWALSKY
Ut! Never repeat it!

DARREN BROWN
I never got the chance to say it once.

1
NEIL KOWALSKY
Lets keep it that way.

DARREN BROWN
Youre about to become an American hero,
Neil, like you always wanted. How about we
focus on that?

NEIL KOWALSKY
Can I open the door now?

DARREN BROWN
Sure.

INT. ROSWELL POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM - MIDDAY

In the center of the room, sits Edward Gallagher, the

SUSPECT (age 72, Mexican, goofy). The two detectives walk
towards him.

DARREN BROWN
Hello Mr. Gallagher, Im detective Darren
Brown and this is my partner, Detective
Neil Kowalsky. Were here to talk to you
about the... well I guess you can call it
the biggest news story in human history.
Pretty much changes everything weve ever
known, doesnt it?

SUSPECT
(rude)
Am I being detained?

Neil pulls back a chair, now sitting directly across from

Edward. He gives a Clint Eastwood stare.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Thats not gonna work here.

SUSPECT
Ive been waiting here for over three
hours so I think I have a right to ask. I
think by law you have to answer the
question too. So am I being detained? Or
are you illegally holding me against my
will?
NEIL KOWALSKY
Youre being detained.

2
SUSPECT
What if I want to leave?

NEIL KOWALSKY
Then you gotta get through me.

SUSPECT
I just said I wanted to leave, Im not
actually leaving.

NEIL KOWALSKY
You cant legally leave this room until I
say you can. You wanna dance? Go right
ahead, buddy. Lets dance. But youre the
one that decided to drive with no license
in an unregistered car, so until you can
provide some valification (intentional
misspelling). Youre being detained.

The suspect retreats back into his seat in defeat.

SUSPECT
Alright just wanted to make sure.

The room goes quiet. Neil throws down a newspaper with the
headline:
ROSWELL CONFIRMED! ALIENS VISITED EARTH!

NEIL KOWALSKY
As youre aware... recent FBI documents
have been leaked... revealing that Roswell
was no hoax... and these documents have
been confirmed by the President... to the
entire country! Now the worlds gone mad
and everyone asking a lot of serious
questions... including the town of Roswell
here... including myself. But you already
knew most of that, didnt you?

SUSPECT
I already knew most of what? That Roswell
was real? I thought it was a weather
balloon.

Neil laughs at his lies.

!

3
NEIL KOWALSKY
(smirking)
You know what I think?

SUSPECT
(cocky)
What?

NEIL KOWALSKY
I think you knew about Roswell and the
crash... I think you knew about
everything!

SUSPECT
Whys that?

NEIL KOWALSKY
Because you were there!

SUSPECT
I was there? Where?!

NEIL KOWALSKY
(loud)
I can read through you like glass!

SUSPECT
That means youre reading right through me
and you cant see anything.

DARREN BROWN
Mr. Gallagher, as crazy as it may sound,
we have suspicion to believe that you were
present during the Roswell crash of 1947.

SUSPECT
Well thats stupid. I would have been
what, two years old? I would have been a
baby. I would have been a child. Why would
I know that? If I was here right now, and
I was two years old, and youre asking me
the same questions, would I be able to
answer that? Youre gonna ask a baby Where
are you? They dont know, theyre babies!
They talk with their butts and their
mouths... and they go Goo-goo-goo-gah-
gah-gah.
!
4
SUSPECT (CONTD)
Look, Im a baby right now. Go ahead ask
me a question. Im a baby. Ask me a
question. Im a baby right now. Go ahead
ask me a question.

Silence.

SUSPECT
Youre not gonna ask me a question?

A beat.

SUPECT
Do you get my point?

DARREN BROWN
Mr. Gallagher, we looked up the town
records of Roswell and the surrounding
counties. Its a little strange to us that
you have no medical history, your name
isn't listed on our town records, you
never registered to vote. We dont know
who you are. You say you were two at the
time, but do you have anything that can to
verify you were born in the United States?

NEIL KOWALSKY
Or planet Earth?

SUSPECT
You guys think that Im an alien?

Silence.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Not just any alien... an illegal alien...
the most illegal alien on the entire
fuckin planet.

SUSPECT
I dont know what the hell youre talking
about okay. I am not an alien! People look
at me everyday and they tell me that they
see a regular human being. I mean I look
like a human. I talk like a human. I got
skin like a human. If I was an alien, Id
be green and Id have long, weird looking
fingers!

5
NEIL KOWALSKY
Theyre shapeshifters. They can transform
their body into anything they touch.
Human, animal, or plant. Did you know
that? I bet you did.

A beat.

NEIL KOWALSKY (COND)

Thats why these fuckers have been able to
hide from public eye for so long. And the
only reason we know they exist is because
the last remaining credible eye-witness,
on the verge of his death, made one final
attempt to right the American people. Man
died a hero. If it wasnt for the
President, hed still be joke, just like
the rest of this town.

SUSPECT
Im not an alien, okay? I didnt come from
the stars I didnt come from the planet
[babbles], okay? Im just a regular normal
citizen who goes to sleep every month or
so

Neil and Darren look at each other, suspicious.

SUSPECT
Cause Im old! Look, I dont know where
the hell this is going. If you want me to
take you seriously, then you gotta start
asking serious questions because Im
losing my mind here! Maybe Im look a
little funny, maybe I act a little weird,
but that doesnt mean that Im an alien? I
didnt get to chose to look this way. I
didnt get to choose to be this ugly!

NEIL KOWALSKY
Maybe you did.

SUSPECT
Maybe you guys are the aliens. And your
trying to pin it on me. Im no alien. Im
the scapegoat.

6
NEIL KOWALSKY
Do I look like an alien to you? Im 100%
American, my friend.

SUSPECT
Youre 100% American?

NEIL KOWALSKY
Yeah.

SUSPECT
Isnt you last name Kowalsky? Sounds
European to me.

Neil pulls out his license from his butt pocket.

NEIL KOWALSKY
At least I got a name... wheres yours?

SUSPECT
Everyones got a name... I dont need a
card to prove it.

NEIL KOWALSKY
You do in New Mexico, otherwise jail time.

DARREN BROWN
Just provide us with your license or a
birth certificate, and youre free to go,
Mr. Gallagher.

NEIL KOWALSKY
You know whats gonna happen when we find
out that youre the alien, right? Were
gonna stuff your little ass into one of
those NASA orbiters and ship you back into
the solar system. And then, were gonna
build a giant wall around this whole
fucking planet. Eight inches of
reinforced, pre-cast concrete. And its
gonna be air tight. So nothing can get in
or out. The way it was meant to be.

DARREN BROWN
Were not going to do that.

Darren pulls out some documentation and throws it down on

the table.

7
DARREN BROWN
Have you seen this before?

It is a photograph of a cheesy, zoomed-up picture of a UFO

from the Cape Of Good Hope.

SUSPECT
What is that a Frisbee? Ive never seen
that, no.

NEIL KOWALSKY
What about this?

Its a photograph of Yoda from Star Wars.

SUSPECT
Ive never seen man in my life.

DARREN BROWN
Have you ever been inside a crop circle?

SUSPECT
What is that like an orgy?

DARREN BROWN
When did you hear about the released
documents?

SUSPECT
You keep saying released documents
released documents... Ive never even
heard or seen about any documents. All
Ive seen is that newspaper.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Youre really sticking with this Im just
hearing about this now bullshit. This is
the number one story in the entire world!
And youre the only one that hasnt heard
about it? You really think Im gonna
believe that?

DARREN BROWN
Its hard to believe.

SUSPECT
I keep to myself, is that a crime? I dont
even know how to use a computer.

8
DARREN BROWN
What about your family? Havent they
heard?

SUSPECT
Im 72 years old.

A beat.

SUSPECT
Theyre all dead.

DARREN BROWN
Did you ever get married?

SUSPECT
No.

DARREN BROWN
No children?

SUSPECT
Im infertile.

NEIL KOWALSKY
I thought you said you were never married.

SUSPECT
I did!

DARREN BROWN
You have no relatives, cousins, nephews?
You have no family at all?

SUSPECT
Wherever they are, I dont care. I live
alone, and thats the way I want to keep
it.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Where-ever they are? What do you mean by
that?

A beat.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Dont you think thats a little strange,
how you just said it like that?
!
9
SUSPECT
(frustrated)
Dont you think its a little strange that
youre dissecting every little word Im
saying... ganging up on me. I dont know
if this is like a tactic or something. Why
the hell is this room so small?! You
didnt have any bigger rooms? This is the
biggest room you had?! Im being tortured
here!

DARREN BROWN
We can get you some water.

SUSPECT
I got a question for you guys. How do you
know that these documents are even real?
Theyre just words written on paper. You
dont know whats true and whats real...
theres no physical proof! Just because
the President says something is real
doesnt mean it is.

Neil leans in.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Dont you think its a little
suspicious... that after the Roswell
crash, theres been a burst in
technological advancement! The internet
lasers... robots... Wi-Fi... what the hell
is Wi-Fi anyway? Its just floating around
in the sky it only took twenty two years
after the crash to land on the moon and we
were the first country to do it. Sure we
have cars, boats, and planes but they all
still run on gasoline.

Neil stands, banging the table with his fist.

NEIL KOWALSKY
We havent figured it all out yet but we
will. You can bet your little
shapeshifting alien ass!

DARREN BROWN
Neil jesus whats wrong with you?

10
NEIL KOWALSKY
Whats wrong with me? I got an alien here
but I cant break him. I cant get in his
head! But I will! Oh, Im gonna break
every little bone in your body, or
whatever the your made of Im gonna break
you open and find out!

DARREN BROWN
Go get some water!

Darren grabs his shoulders...

SUSPECT
I was born in this country, okay? I was
born here!

... but Neil breaks through.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Wait did you know that aliens cant lie?
So maybe you were born here.

SUSPECT
If aliens cant lie, then Im Ronald
Reagan.

NEIL KOWALSKY
I was just kidding. I wanted to test ya.
Aliens can lie. Ive been reading you this
whole time motha fucka. Im reading you
right now. Every flinch. Every move. Like
book. So be careful what you say. Cause
Im reading ya.

Neils hands are on the table. The suspect doesnt look

intimidated.

NEIL KOWALSKY
And I want you to know something
something that I know

A beat.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Right now there is an alien on this
planet and maybe hes sitting right in
front of me maybe not but what I do
know is right now

11
NEIL KOWALSKY (CONTD)
Theres an alien an illegal alien and
the whole world knows he exists and
thats a big, big problem for the alien
because nobody was looking for him before
but now everyone is looking for him! And
he could hide before but not anymore
because sooner or later hes gonna get
caught because theres nowhere to go.
Hes stuck on this planet just like us
otherwise hed leave already. And you
wanna know what else I know I think Im
looking at him. (his eyes widen as if he
knows the truth) And gonna be the one to
catch him and if not well then Im
gonna spend the whole rest of my life
lookin... no matter... how... long...
it... takes.

Dead silence.

INTERSTELLAR-STYLE music. Neil and the suspect begin a

staring contest. The room spins with the table as the
center axis, gradually progressing with speed, like a scene
from the Matrix. The lights dim, and the walls float away,
exposing a celestial foreground with stars, planets, and
clouds of comic dust. Their room is now in the middle of
the MILKYWAY GALAXY. A man, who has no real purpose,
appears in the room together and he is never mentioned
again. A clock spinning out of control. They return to the
room.

DARREN BROWN
Neil

NEIL KOWALSKY
Sorry

DARREN BROWN
Go grab some water for Mr. Gallagher.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Alright.

Neil leaves the room. Darren walks to the light switch and
dims it.

12
DARREN BROWN
Better? Less straining on the eyes?

He grabs a seat and moves it closer to the suspect, within

two feet of him.

DARREN BROWN (COND)

Do you mind if I sit down?

The suspect nods. Darren sits.

SUSPECT
You know, you guys are starting to make me
believe that I am an alien.

DARREN BROWN
We dont want you to believe anything
thats not true. Thats not our intention.

SUSPECT
How many other people have you talked to,
if you dont mind me asking?

DARREN BROWN
Youre the first.

SUSPECT
How many are on the list?

DARREN BROWN
Youre the only one so far.

A beat.

DARREN BROWN (CONTD)

I was honest with you how about you be
honest with me. Is there anything you want
to tell me?

SUSPECT
Lets say theres an alien walking around
wondering the Earth. Why would it stay
here in a desert? Not that Im not
complaining. Im just saying you ever
been to California?

!
!

13
DARREN BROWN
Easier to hide in the desert right? Plus
no matter how big the world is, we usually
all seem to stay close to home. You didnt
answer my question by the way.

SUSPECT
I forgot what it was.

DARREN BROWN
Ill repeat it.

SUSPECT
I dont think it matters actually. Cause
Im wouldnt tell you even if I was an
alien.

Darren moves his chair closer.

DARREN BROWN
Well it does matter. Because the world
wants to know: Are we alone in the
universe? And maybe finding out that were
not wont answer all the questions we
have, but itd be a step in the right
direction. Thats what life is, one small
step at a time. Even with everything we
know, people still need physical proof.
Itd make a huge difference. Itd change
the world. Think about that - how powerful
that is. Itd change the world. So if you
do have something to say, understand
that itd only be welcomed information. A
lot of people want to know. Ee would
protect you, of course.

SUSPECT
Like E.T.?

DARREN BROWN
That was a movie.

A beat.

DARREN BROWN
I want to be honest with you. Its going
to be very easy for us to figure it out
what we want to know.

14
DARREN BROWN
Thats not a threat. I just want you to be
aware of whats going to happen next.
Because I want you to trust me. I want you
to know that you would be protected more
than any other living thing on this
planet. Now theres another powerful
thought. If you have a secret, I think it
would be best to tell me now. It would
make everything else a lot easier, for the
both of us. Mr. Gallagher are you from
beyond the galaxy?

The suspect touches Darren gently, and transforms

immediately into THE ALIEN, an exact clone of Darren Brown.

THE ALIEN
No... Im you.

Darren pushes back in terror and falls over on his chair,

screaming. Neil walks in, spitting out his coffee and
dropping it on the floor. He removes his gun and points it
at both of them.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Jesus Christ, I knew it!

THE ALIEN
Wait, Neil, listen to me. The alien
switched bodies with me I dont know
what the hell is happening! It fricken
duplicated itself!

Darren is on the floor, still screaming in horror. Neil

points the gun at Darren on the floor.

DARREN BROWN
No! Neil, Im Darren!

THE ALIEN
Im Darren Brown! I live on 7th West
Avenue with my wife, Jenna, and two kids,
Audrey and Sam. Were the only people
right now who knows how serious and
dangerous this is! Kill it!

15
DARREN BROWN
Jesus, put down the gun and lets figure
this out!

NEIL KOWALSKY
Shut up! Both of you, shut up!

Silence.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Tell me something that happened today.

DARREN BROWN
We went to Chipotle. And I had to drive
you thirty minutes back to your house,
because you couldnt to use their public
bathrooms.

THE ALIEN
And you ended up shitting yourself on the
way. Then... I had to drive you back to
Chipotle to get more food.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Goddammit something else!

Neil rubs the sweat of his face with his hand, which is
covered in sweat.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Oh God! I dont know what to do. Its just
like the movies.

THE ALIEN
Trust your instinct.

DARREN BROWN
No, no! Do not do that. Dont trust your
instinct.

THE ALIEN
You have to kill it! Or kill us both.

DARREN BROWN
Dammit! How do you not know know hes the
alien! I mean really? Just go get help!

NEIL KOWALSKY
I said shut up! Im in charge!

16
NEIL KOWALSKY
Okay, Im going to ask you both one
question, if you get it right, you live,
and if you get it wrong, you die.

DARREN BROWN
What! Neil, go get help! Youre not
thinking straight.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Im the only one that can make a decision,
is this my responsibility. One of you is
an unholy, Un-American extraterrestrial
and one of you is a legal citizen. And Im
gonna figure out who, right now.

DARREN BROWN
Sargent!

Neil kicks the door shut.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Theres no one here. Theres a lemonade
stand across the street and its only
$0.25 for a large cup. Thats why its my
call. No one is here but me. And I may not
know which one of you is the alien, but I
do know, that one of you is human with
American blood. Thats good enough for me
America the greater country in the
entire universe.

DARREN BROWN
Youre gonna risk killing your partner of
over thirty years your best friend since
middle school, your best man your sons
Godfather for Christ sake!

NEIL KOWALSKY
What is the Capital

DARREN BROWN
Over a trivia question!

NEIL KOWALSKY
Of Wyoming.
!

17
NEIL KOWALSKY
Its only four states away, no reason to
get it wrong.

THE ALIEN
Cheyenne.

Neil points the gun at Darren, still on the floor.

DARREN BROWN
Think about what youre doing. You wont
be able to explain this. Youre pointing
that gun at yourself too.

Neil cocks the gun.

DARREN BROWN
Jesus Neil...

THE ALIEN
Kill him.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Answer it.

DARREN BROWN
My answer is go get the Sargent. Neil, to
be honest, Id answer the question, but I
really dont know! Sacramento? I really
dont know dont tell my kids.

THE ALIEN
I win, he got it wrong.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Youre both wrong.

Neil shoots Darren brown, on the floor, and then the alien.
The alien immediately morphs back into a stereotypical,
tiny green man. Neil sees this.

NEIL KOWALSKY
God dammit!

He walks over to the corpses and tries to stage a shooting,

second guessing where he should place the gun. Ultimately
the guns are faced on each of their heads, making it look
like two suicide attempts. He shuts off the lights and runs
off. BLACK.

18
INT. NEIL KOWALSKYS HOME STUDY - NIGHT

A light turns on revealing Neils face. Hes looking at a

wall map of the United States. His finger runs down the
states from Montana all the way to Wyoming. He finds the
capital: Cheyenne.

NEIL KOWALSKY
Oh thank god.

A beat.

NEIL KOWALSKY
I thought it was Topeka.

THE END.

19