I Fought the Law

When I was 16, I was driving home one night and I get pulled over. The cop shines both spotlights at me so I can't see a thing. Then I hear,Driver, show you hands out the window. Now I'm crapping my pants, Driver, open the door from the outside, step out of the vehicle and face forward, Now piss is running down my leg, with your hands above your head, walk backward to the... Read More » rear of the vehicle and spread your hands across the trunk. People are looking at me as if I am some sort of criminal. I heard the cop walk up to me, I'm ready to be handcuffed for no reason, and the cop grabs my ass, I turn to look at him and it was my neighbor. He was bored and I was in the right place at the right time, I guess. when I got back to my car, I had to light up a bowl, Thank God he didn't search my car.

So I when I first started driving, like many teen drives, I drove like a Grandparent, hands at 10 and 2, law-abiding, 3-second stop, the works. This one particular day I was getting off class and driving through a residential area in a very quiet town (won't say where, know that it's a rich community, lots of white people, smell plant in a botanical garden...). So I stop... Read More » at the stop sign and count...1...2...3. Upon hitting 3 seconds, I roll forward. NOT 20 FEET and I see the strobe lines and hear the screech of a siren. So like any law-abiding citizen, I pull over and see a very large officer walk to my window. When he gets to my car, he asks, "Son, do you know why I pulled you over?" To which I respond, "No officer." He then says, "Do you know how long you stopped at that stop sign?" To which I respond, "3 seconds officer." He then has the gall to reply, "No you didn't. You stopped for 2.5 seconds. A stop sign is supposed to be for 3 seconds. Care to explain why you were in such a hurry?" SERIOUSLY!? WAS HE COUNTING?

So some friends and I went out one night. I'm not a drinker so naturally, like every time, I am the DD. We finished up at a strip club and headed home around 4 am. We make it all the way home and there is stop sign with a huge bump in it. All 3 of my friends are dead asleep so I move the car around as to not hit the bump. I stay within all traffic laws but I see this cop... Read More » behind me. He follows me all the way home (less than a mile now) and as I turn into my street (2 houses down from mine) he blue lights me. My friends wake up and the drunk one in the back throws his hands up and says "don't arrest me!!" The cop tells him to put his hands down and tells me my tire touched the white line at the stop sign. I am so aggravated so I just say "ok" and he says "what's that" (pointing to my mountain dew bottle) and I say "Mountain dew. It's 4 am and I'm sober so yeah, i'm tired". He then calls for backup. The backup officer is someone I went to high school with and says "hey (me)...what's up" I'm aggravated and I tell him the story and he asks where I live. I point and he laughs and lets me go. (he knows I'm not a drinker) so i pull up into my driveway and slam on brakes. asshole.

After watching a rather exciting game of hockey me and a bunch of buddies decided to keep the party going. At around 1:00 am we took the party to the streets for some road hockey. Apparently there were some noise complaints and a cruser pulled up on our game. We live in a small town and the cops are usually pretty cool. All of us had a king can in our hand and being under... Read More » age the cops told us to dump them. My one friend, drunkest of the bunch, told the cop he had just opened it and didn't want to waste it. The cop made him a deal, if he could chug it all he didn't have to dump it. My friend proceeded to down it. The cop looked pretty impressed and told us to quiet down and go inside and they went on there way... No tickets. No wasted beer. A good night...

I like reading all of the stories about people who encounter my fellow brothers and sisters in law enforcement. We're regular people too and just like Super Troopers, we do like to fuck with people. I pulled this car over of 4 college girls late one night for speeding. It was one of those first warm spring nights, so I already planned on just giving them a warning, but... Read More » thought I might fuck with them. As I approached the driver, in my sternest and most serious voice, I said "Miss, you were going 50mph in a 35 mph zone. But if you can give me one good reason, I won't give you a ticket" Her response was "But officer, if you give me a ticket, there's going to be a homicide". I was immediately thrown off and concerned COP mode kicked in, thinking that this girl knew some case breaking information. I said "Excuse me? What do you mean?!" She said "Officer, if you give me a ticket, my Dad will kill me!"....Have a good night ma'am.

So i was about 16 and driving with a friend to the next town over to drop some girl off. After we drop her off we get a little lost and supposedly ran a stop sign and a cop pulled me over. So they cop comes up and said 'hey did you see that stop sign' and I had no clue I even ran it. A minute later he comes back up and says that my eyes looked glossy and he wanted to... Read More » search my car. I was 16 and did no drugs or alcohol then so I didn't care. Another cop comes up and chit chats with us while hes searching. After searching for about 10 mins he pulls up a set a keys and they happened to be the ones my friend with me lost a couple months before. My friend was soo happy and they all started laughing and the cop goes 'if you ever lose anything just have a cop search your car' We all laughed about it for a min and he sends us on our way with no ticket or anything.

A couple of years ago a friend and myself, where going to the local town. Him being a pretty well known stoner, this sometimes leads to certain problems. He had just gotten a halv liter of surge when a Civilian cop car pulls up beside us trying to be as dramatic as possible, skidmarks and all. Jumping out of the car, Starting giving him shit for drinking in public before... Read More » they even clear the seat. He just cracks a smile and shows them the can, and asks if softdrinks have been classified as alchohol recently. somehow they manage to turn up the tv show cop attitude even more, and starts demanding to pat him down. He complies, and the only thing they find is some rolling paper, wich he counters with his purse of tobbaco. Then they turn on me, demanding to pat me down too. I ask for just cause, pointing out that their original reason for stopping us is off the table, and i do not see what possible reason they have to pat me down, walking with a friend in a semicrowded street in the middle of the day. I give up my information, they call it in to central and i come up clean, still their pushing for a search, I suggest that they bring me in to the station, let me consult with a lawyer or a station head, and if there is a real cause for a search of my person and belongings i will comply, Otherwise i will report them for unjust search and harrasment. One of the cops admit that i`m right, while his partner is fairly ticked of by me not taking their shit. So they us go without searching me. A couple of blocks later and my friend is asking me why i put though against though, and i just point out that i knew that i was clean. Until i check my back pocket, and find my brass knuckles. so i pretty much won a 2 000 $ lottery there. and it has not been out of a drawer since.

While in Georgia for the summer a couple of my friends went out partying and drinking. They were pulled over and the cop told my 18 year old friend who was driving that unless someone was over 21 and sober enough to drive he would give him an underaged DUI. Luckily there was. Later that night while at the bar my friend who got pulled over and I were talking. The bar tender... Read More » asked if he was the one that got pulled over because the cop was in the bar. My friend ended up chatting up the cop and the cop bought him a drink by the end of the night. Only in Georgia.

right after passing my drivers test at the DOL .i have my paper license . i pull out of the DOL parking lot to get immediately pulled over by a cop he comes up and asks what i think i am doing to get out my license now! i hand him my paper license he looks at it then me then the DOL building, leans down and eye to eye tells me "don't fuck with cops or violate any laws or i... Read More » WILL tazer you". then gives me my license and leaves. now i thought maybe he gave me a break seeing as i just got my license not 20 minutes ago, until my cousin and sister and friends get their license and the same exact thing happens to them. i guess he just sits there pulling kids over

I tried K2, which is legal in Connecticut, for the first time a few weeks ago. I had it rolled into a blunt and I'm sitting in my car on an empty street across from my school. Next thing I know, there is a cop car behind me. I'm messed up on K2 at this point, and I decided it would be a good idea to get out of the car and explain myself. The lights came on and a cop has me... Read More » put my hands on top of the car and so he could pat me down. I didn't have any weed, just K2. 2 more cop cars show up. They ended up searching my car, but apparently they decided that a bunch of PBR and some wine isn't a big deal, even though I'm 20. One cop took my K2 to his partner and said "See this? Kid buys the good stuff!". Then they came back to my car and told me that if I was going to smoke it, I should smoke it on campus...... What?

I work nights in Phoenix, so when I leave work the roads are pretty empty. I used to have an old Fox Mustang, but I was pretty good about not doing any ticketworthy shenanigans with it(since it was uninsured and not registered or even titled in my name yet). Anyway, one night at 3 in the morning I'm driving home and just as I'm about to stop for a red light it turns green(of... Read More » course), so instead of slowly accelerating back up to speed I slam it into second and do a burnout across the entire four lane intersection. Afterwards I feel like a total badass, but notice that suddenly there is a car that's very quickly catching up to me that hadn't been there about five seconds ago. Obviously it's some cops, and after them and two other cruisers show up they pull me out of the car and ask why the hell was I doing a burnout in an unregistered and uninsured flat black Mustang in the middle of the night if I didnt even have a hot chick in the passenger seat to impress? I said because I didn't think that the only people around to see my epic burnout would be a pair of cops. They searched my car for drugs and guns and then sent me on my merry way. But only after pointing out how stupid i was.

A couple of years ago my teammates and I were coming back from a ski training camp at Mt.Hood. We were about to cross the border back into Canada when my friend starts to have a panic attack; He left his passport somewhere not in the van. Trying to find it along hours of highway was not an option, so one of my teammates came up with a creative and uncomfortable solution. We... Read More » pulled over, out of sight of the border and removed the skis from the largest ski bag on the roof. The passportless teammate then proceeded to hide inside said ski bag while we passed through the border. I guess everyone is too focused on giant walls on the southern border to notice anything on the northern one

A while back I was living in a tiny town along the Ohio river. Pretty soon after moving in, we found out just how "close knit" (read: nosy) everyone is. It was a fairly warm night for October, so my roommate and I climbed out our huge windows onto the roof, and kept climbing to the peak of the house (30+ feet.) After a while, we saw a cop car roll by. Then another, and... Read More » then another. All 3 cars flipped around, completely blocking the road, and facing the wrong way down the one way street. Then they jumped out and started looking around our block. We didn't attempt to hide, just waited to see how long it would take them to find us. It took them 20 minutes before one of them finally raised his flashlight high enough to see us. Then he acted like he couldn't see us until he called all his buddies over. They came walking over and yelled at us to come down. We got to the roof just outside our windows and couldn't go further without going inside (they flipped when we told them that.) It took them a few minutes to believe that we actually lived in the house, at which point they told us it was dangerous to be up there and we probably shouldn't do it anymore (we did. Every night til it snowed.) Just goes to show that in a sleepy little town, the cops have nothing better to do than hassle college students.

When I was 17 I hadn't yet been alive long enough to have a healthy fear of police. I DID have a habit of giving other drivers the finger when they did something unnecessarily stupid that endangered me. One day I'm driving down a road going 45 or 50 in 45 - basically doing nothing wrong - this small pickup truck blots out of a parking lot in front of me forcing me to slam... Read More » on my brakes and slide, and also scaring the shit out of me. I didn't hesitate to let my middle finger shine and let out plenty of curses that I only wished the other driver could hear. Suddenly the driver (now driving in front of me) hits his brakes and stops in the middle of the road, gets out and starts angrily walking towards my car. He didn't have a weapon so I basically figured I would sit there with the window up and then drive away when he was close enough to not get run over. He starts yelling for me to get out of the car, and I tell him to fuck the hell off. Then he slaps a police badge on my window and says "what do you think about that". I told him "I think it means you're a piece of shit for almost killing us both while also being a cop". After he keeps yelling for a minute about calling backup, I just tell him "fuck you, we can sort this shit it out in court then cause I havent done shit". He walked away cursing and yelling, got back in his car and drove off. Now that I'm 29 I can safely say that I was lucky I didnt get tazed at best.

A few of my close friends and myself had been getting high and had a few beers during a friday night get-together. When it was time to take everyone home, my completely sober husband drove them. After dropping them off, we were on our way home when the traffic signal up ahead suddenly turned yellow during that split-second moment when it's probably too late to stop, so he... Read More » went through. It was late at night and we were pretty much the only car on the road...except for the cop that decided we should've stopped for the light. He pulled us over and took my husband's license and immediately began a fairly hostile interrogation. Apparently the cop was convinced that my husband had been drinking or was on something because he kept asking him how many beers he'd had while shining his humongous flashlight in my poor hubby's face. Finally, the cop relented and turned to me. He asked if I had my license with me, which I did, and said he'd let us go as long as I drove home. I had to literally bite my lip as I climbed into the driver's seat, because the giggles were trying desperately to get us both arrested. I managed to get us home without incident despite the trifecta of distractions: Being slightly buzzed, overly high, and thoroughly tickled by my husband's constant tirade about the clueless cop.

When I first got my permit, all of my friends laughed at me saying that I would get pulled over on my first day. My dad decided to teach me how to drive by driving me out to this road in the middle of nowhere so I could practice. Once we got to the end of the road, we switched places. I had just turned the key to start the car back up when suddenly I heard sirens everywhere,... Read More » and cops swarmed the area. Apparently someone robbed a convenience store nearby, and the cops thought I was the getaway driver. I guess my friends were right after all.

I got caught for speeding through a very effective speed trap. I decided to fight the ticket in court, since if you show up, they usually knock a few bucks off. But I researched my case and found out that the Department of Transportation didn't fill out the proper paperwork to establish the speed limit, so it was actually the City in the wrong. I presented that to the... Read More » Judge, who didn't know what to do... I was obviously in the right, but he didn't want to set a precedent. So he eliminated my fine but still found me guilty. I contacted the City Attorney to try and get it expunged from my record so my insurance didn't go up, but they ignored me. A few months later, and the City is looking at a class action suit from everyone who got caught in their illegal speed trap.

I'm just going to get right into it. Long story short, my buddy threw a two-liter pepsi bottle on the roof of a local mall and two mall cops kicked us off the property for a full year. It was stupid, but I didn't think it would be enforced. So about a month later I wnt back with a few friends to see a movi. Two minutes into my walk I make eye contact with the police officer... Read More » that issued my punishment last time. As I pass, she proceeds to follow me. A minute passes, and I'm being tailed by three more cops. I immediately make a run for it and bolt through a JC Penny, and procd to run across a five lane highway; stopping cars on the way. I reach a McDonald's across the street and I thought I was homefree. Just as I sighed a breath of relief, four cruisers pulled into the McDonald's where I had been. They pulled me out, cuffed my hands, and tossed me in the back of the cop car. The swearing and shit-talking was annoying, but I couldn't help thinking it was completly undeserved. This was verified when one of the cops asked me if I thought armed robbery was funny. Apparently, I had been arrested for looking like somone who was on Massachusetts Most Wanted. The next day, out of curiosity, I decided to chck the site to find who I looked sooo much like. To my astonishment, the first thing I see is a picture of me walking out of a convenient store with a laundry list of felonies. I then called the police station and got off. Apparently, the man who had come in 20 minutes prior was wearing a similar Florida Marlins hat to that of which I was wearing. Great detective work...

So Iate one night I was heading home, and figured since there would be no one on the roads I might as well get there quickly! As I am about to get home, within the last quater mile a cop is coming down the road and stops me. "Why are you speeding?" Thinking quickly I respond..."I really need to use the bathroom" She responds and says "Ok, go home and shit!". WIN for me!... Read More »

It was my senior year of high school and me and a friend were going to a Fourth of July party in St. Louis. We were in a red Ford Ranger and the both of us were smoking our own joint. As we are driving through a 4-way crossing about five sets of cherries come on completely out of nowhere. About eight cops run up to the truck with their guns drawn, yelling at us to put our... Read More » hands up. They get us out of the truck and put us in hand cuffs. We are sitting there confused and terrified. After searching us, getting our identification and searching the truck that reeeeeeeeked of pot, a cop says get back in the truck. He is leaning into my window on the passenger side and says, "sorry boys but there was a stabbing at a party tonight and the suspect fled in a red Ford Ranger. He then leans into the window, looks at the two joints in the ashtray, takes a big whiff and says "you boys have a good night."