The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20120104152631/http://www.ugo.com/movies/how-to-kill-a-vampire
A A A

How To Kill A Vampire Like A Boss

Sometimes stakes just don't cut it! What follows is a list of awesome weapons so you know how to kill a vampire. Like a boss.


VIEW AS: List Slideshow
Viewing: Page 1 / 4
Blade's Weapon from Blade.
Credit: New Line Cinema
11

Shot To The Hear--er, Eye, er...Face

Film: Blade, Blade II

Weapon: Specialized Hemoglobin Shot

What's It Do: To a regular human being, this blue liquid in syringe is nothing more than an anti-coagulant. In layman terms: it helps stop bleeding from open wounds. To the vampires however, it winds up exploding them in such CGI awesome that even Wesley Snipes pauses to acknowledge the bad-ass nature of it.

We're sure the new Fright Night remake would be five minutes long if Colin Farrell had to deal with Wesley Snipes, who's still down to don the shades again if the story's right. We just hope this vampire slaying weapon comes back, since it's even cooler than a UV shotgun or stake launcher. It's a perfect example of why science and nature is forever deadlier than even garlic pepper spray.

From Dusk Till Dawn
Credit: Dimension FIlms
10

Got Wood?

Film: From Dusk Till Dawn

Weapon: A Pencil*

Fred "The Hammer" Williamson is something of a bad-ass. See, he not only kicked ass a football player, but is one of the blaxsploitation legends for his turn in Boss ****** (NSFW title, believe us). But in this Tarantino scripted, Robert Rodriguez helmed picture of a vampire bloodbath at a run-down Mexican trucker bar (which is actually a Mayan temple) the vampires pick the wrong ex-footballer to deal with.
 
Sure, Williamson (here as "Frost") beats up vampires with his bare hands. He even rips the still-beating heart out of one! But that's not the weapon of choice here. That honor belongs to a good ol' #2 that just happens to be in a bar filled with bloodsuckers, a toe-sucker and George Clooney.

*Note: No one else but Fred Williamson is bad-ass enough to kill a vampire with a pencil. If anyone else tries, they'll die a horrible death.

Vampires
Credit: 20th Century Fox
9

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Inches Do Matter

Weapon: Ruler

Film: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
 

In vampire lore's longest death sequence ever (really, we checked) Pee-Wee's death at the hands of the original Buffy Summers is well-worth the wait. Doubly because it comes at the school dance and thanks to a ruler rather than stake, garlic or cross.

The fact Rutger Hauer is playing a violin in the scene makes it all the better. Adieu Pee Wee! May the...oh whatever, you just got killed with a ruler. That's what being a henchman gets.

Join me on the New Digg