Conan the Barbarian: 3D Combo Pack Blu-ray Review

Conan does not get off to a smooth start. After a silly opening narration (from Morgan Freeman, who apparently didn't have a decent excuse to turn down the role) and a back-story not unlike Lord of the Rings, we cut to a bloodied-up Ron Perlman, fighting in some sort of war. His mortally wounded wife is there, too, and she's in labor. Asking to see her baby before she dies, Perlman cuts into his wife's womb and pulls out their son, played by a covered-in-dirt, rubbery looking fake baby (seriously, it's creepy looking). She dies and Perlman holds the baby up in the air screaming, "AHHHHHH!" I only expected things to go downhill from there.

Thankfully, the opening beats are not really representative of the dull ride that is Conan the Barbarian. No longer is the film silly or cheap, but rather an expensively overcooked, and largely emotionless endeavor, lacking any comedic or camp value, with violence/sexual exploitation that almost feels shoehorned into the narrative. The characters are one-dimensional and largely unlikeable, often overplayed or underplayed by the actors, especially Rose McGowan who delivers the most embarrassing mainstream screen performance of her career. Our lead, Jason Momoa, is downright spiritless as Conan. He can't emote to save himself, and he never seems to feel comfortable playing the character. Sure, Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't the world's greatest actor, but charisma goes a long way. His Conan felt like a warrior and even though he did unlikeable things he still remained curiously likeable. Momoa lacks any sort of charisma, with a take that feels like he's posing in some kind of medieval catalog. It looks mostly real, but feels flat and uninspired.

I can't fully fault Momoa for this. He's relatively untested in the theatrical playing field. Rather, the problems lie with Marcus Nispel and his mundane direction. The guy doesn't seem to know how to use his actors or how to create an immersive environment. The film is well staged when it comes to action, but when the picture resorts to dialogue, it's all over the place. And, despite a $90 million budget, the film feels light and inexpensive, too, filled with cheap looking sets, hilariously fake foam swords and wobbly costume design.

Conan the Barbarian tries its best to remain true to the pulp source material (kind of), but the film forgets to have any fun, leaving humor, camp and nostalgia at the door. It's exploitative at times, and gory as hell (perhaps too gory in spots – this isn't a horror film, Nispel). And action sequences are often rousing, even though almost every set piece feels borrowed from another film. Conan might play well for action nuts and gorehounds, but the film's many faults render an experience that's wholly forgettable, and not always fun to watch.


Conan arrives on Blu-ray with two editions – a two-disc combo pack featuring a 2D and 3D version of the film (the 3D version requires a 3DTV, shutter glasses and a 3D Blu-ray player), a DVD and Digital Copy, and a single-disc edition with just the 2D version of the film. We'll be looking at the two-disc set in this review. The film is presented in 2.40:1, encoded in 1080p/MVC, which allows for both a 3D and 2D version on one disc. The 2D transfer is remarkably clean, with pristine visuals, inky blacks, eye-popping texture and detail and a lively palette of rich browns, steely grays and vivid whites. The encode is perfect, with not a speck of compression or noise noted.

The 3D version, on the other hand, is not quite as gorgeous. Conan is a murky, dark film in spots, and visuals that favor a shadowy nature don't always translate well to 3D. This was also a post-conversion project, and while a few of these films look good in 3D, most are relatively disappointing. Conan falls somewhere in-between good and mediocre. At times, the 3D effects are very effective. But in other spots, the film feels like it forgot to be in 3D. The film's darker sets and nighttime sequences look pretty awful, though the encode is hardly at fault. If you're in the market for a 3D movie, this presentation shouldn't outright disappoint. It's not great, but it does occasionally make decent use of the technology.


Conan the Barbarian is mixed in 7.1 DTS-HD Master Audio. I really dig Lionsgate mixes – they're often aggressive and thoroughly engaging. And the same can be said with this soundtrack. Alas, the mix does succumb to some high-end crackles and minor microphone distortions, as well as a slight bit of hiss toward the beginning of the film. The track is aggressively designed, with expansive surround use and hearty, robust bass cues. Effects are organically mixed, and the film's somewhat lousy score (from Tyler Bates, a traditionally consistent composer) is evenly balanced among the seven channels. While the track does have a few minor hiccups, it is effective, complementing the film's many action beats.

Extras for Conan are a bit on the light side. You get a few promotional-type featurettes that explore the world of Conan and his creator, Robert E. Howard. There are also two brief behind-the-scenes featurettes that examine the combat in the film. Featurettes are presented in HD and run about 45 minutes total. Rounding out the extras are two commentary tracks, both of which are incredibly dull, with long pauses and plenty of back-patting. Why they weren't edited together is a bit puzzling. The first track is with director Nispel, and the second features actors McGowan and Momoa.


If you're a Conan fan, or an action/gore nut, be sure to check out Conan the Barbarian. It's not an awful film, just not a very good one, either. Think of it more as a guilty pleasure, and it plays fine (for the most part). The Blu-ray looks and sounds nice, but if you don't own a 3D Blu-ray player and 3DTV, I see no reason to buy the slightly more expensive combo pack.

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